When do i get my break?

[Jbs2763]

this last year has been one of the most trying of my life.... but i can't say it has been the worst... about everything has gone wrong, career wise at least...i got into a freak accident...the stars alligned perfectly, and my 60k job went down the toilet... but everything happens for a reason right?

so i figured..okay, the Lord has a plan for me, i gotta trust it...

so happens i find another gig right away...a freind of mine in the ysa branch, his dad needs a CDL driver...

work there 3 months...its a little less pay..but im home on the weekends at least, cutting up old silos....scrapping the steel

price of steel drops 75%...get laid off

now im working nearly 80 hrs a week at 2 full time, minimum wage jobs... and it really ain't paying the bills

the scheudle is running me into the ground, i have no social life to speak of, i am driving the car that defines a POS, and im sick of spinning my wheels...

doing the math...on a good week..i had a 65% paycut from last year...i'm stuck in an apartment i really can't afford, have bills i can't afford, need to find a much more relaible vehicle, and a much better job

but i can't get a better job without education

can't get an education when i'm already wokring 80 hrs a week...no time for that

everytime i take a step up the ladder...i get knocked back off

im jsut tired of it all...pretty much at the end of my rope, not sure what to do...keep thinking there is light at the end of the tunnel...but it aint happening

I do what i'm supposed to, but things keep going wrong for me, well, not that i've rock bottom, they can't go much more wrong...but they aint getting any better...working 12-14 hrs a day almost every day of the week...for this great thing they call "minimum wage" is ludacris...and i really don't konw what to do anymore

i could keep hammering that point, same stuff differnt day...

I don't have the energy to find another job, i want to, but my self esteem is about nil right now...feel worthless to an employer, what few are still hiring, with my glorious lack of skills....at least how i feel...how can you sell yourself, when you feel like a total failure? I can't even motivate myself to clean up my resume...i figure, whats it worth, ain't no one gonna want me....

anyways, i can't say this year has been all bad...it seems all i have are my friends, and that includes many of you... and over the last 12 months....i have developed a couple of VERY special freindships with a couple people i know thru this world...I ain't gonna call you out..but you know who you are...and I have to be very thankful for you, and i haven't told you that enough...

Its been a rough d*mn year, and without y'all..not sure i would have made it I'm hoping there is light at the end of this tunnel...and hoping its not a train...I'm hoping i catch a break and can find a job that will support myself...and one that i enjoy doing...so I am not hating life every minute of the day,

This has also been the year I turned 30...rather depressign birthday...By 30...you are supposed to be married..have a family a mortgage and an SUV.... not working 80 hours a week just to try to keep afloat.. I know that I can't find that special woman to spend the enternities with...until i get my own money strait...I can't support myself..how am i gonna suppport a family???

all of this and several other things are bouncing around my head constantly, alot of the things, i wont mention here, those demons are a little to dark for me to share... some of them are a little to dark for me to admit to myself... Life hasn't been easy for me...I know for some of you it has been alot harder...so i feel guilty about feeling weak about things....I'm 30 yrs old...and i havent really had a good year since i was 9....between differnt social pressures, moving, trying to make new freinds, and the awkardness of adolecence, after that stage..i dove into several years of drug and alcholhol abuse...

just over 3 yrs ago...i came back to the church, got ordained an Elder...buried my father, went thru the temple....got back to "doing everythign right....

the only positive things to come out of those last 3 years..... from where i sit now...in a crappy motel at 6am after sitting here all night... for just a hair over minimum wage

Is a handful of very close freidns that I deeply love, a couple from my branch, and a couple from here... again...the ones on there that read this...know who you are...and the rest of you I greatly appreciate also, in this world we live in...haveing a few freinds is more that most people can ask for...and when i say that...i mean TRUE freinds...the ones that you can call at 3am and will listen to you cry and not judge you for being a faiure, and will tell you that you aren't a loser...that you are trying and trying is more than alot of people do...

well im almost to the point of being tired of trying...Im tired of the status quo, but can't even motivate myself to do anything about it...

I'm not sure what advice, if any, I want... and no offense to anyone, but most of the advice that will be generated by this... all stuff i've heard before, that i don't see applying to myself...

mabye i just had to go on a bit of a rant, and get this all out of my system...i could probbly go on for another hour...but what is the point in beating a dead horse?

[Hemidakota]

Keep venting....we are here to help and support.

[talisyn]

You know, in 5 years you'll look back at this and see what a great learning experience it was.

30 is a great age. I finally felt like a real adult when I turned 30. I can't wait to turn 40

And I bet things won't seem so bad once you find a cheaper place to live.

[Guest]

Catch that movie Pursuit Of Happyness. Perfect time for you to see it because now you can relate.

Keep counting your blessings - it really helps to keep your spirits up.

Don't forget that minimum wage jobs are great jobs - without the burger flipper at McDonald's, millions of people will not be able to enjoy the great Big Mac and my kids will not be able to enjoy the kids meal toys. Millions of people will miss the burger flipper. Be proud of your job, do it well, enjoy it, until the better job comes along. It will make your day brighter.

Keep telling yourself, This too shall pass... but it won't pass unless you spend that last bit of energy looking for the better opportunity... so, even if you're on your last bit of strength, dig deep and find that extra reserve to dust off your resume, put on a big smile, and knock on employer's doors. Don't let the negative things like the state of the economy, your lack of education, etc. etc. put you down until it becomes a dead weight around your ankles keeping you from moving forward.

Keep leaning on your friends. Not only are they there to help you, you are also there for them to give them plenty of exercise in charity and uplift them. Without you, they wouldn't have the opportunity to serve. Keep writing on this thread if it helps. We are going to read it and give you more support...

I don't know if this adds value, but, at least it is 2 cents more than you had before?

[NeuroTypical]

What Hemi said. You're safe to vent here. Sometimes life just stinks to high heaven. Being able to say that truth out loud, is better than denying it.

LM

(not going to say 'count your many blessings')

[Prodigal_Son]

Hang in there, man. 9/11 did the same thing to me. Only I was married and already had 2 kids at the time. Had to move 1,000 miles to live in my in-laws' basement for a while (ugh - and they STILL charged me rent) and work 2 full-time jobs to pay off all my debts and keep food on the table.

Ironically, that period of my life became a spiritual high point for me. I did my time, turned to the Lord out of desperation, grew from the experience, and things eventually picked back up for me.

So my advice would simply be: turn to the Lord. Hope for the best but expect the worst. Joseph and many of the early Saints never had but a few moments of peace. That may not make you feel any better, but misery loves company, right?

I'll send a shout-out to the Big Man Upstairs for you.

[sixpacktr]

I have noticed more and more that members of the church are being tried in various ways, particularly in their careers. I don't know why that is the case, but it is. I personally have had a terrible 5 years. Got fired from one job after doing everything I was asked and more to make it successful, and then finding another, moving my family, and then having the same thing happen, but instead of being completely let go, going thru hell for 8 months as my entire personality was being judged (IOW, they were tearing at my self esteem, and boy, it really worked. Wasn't until I got to the other side of that mini-storm in the larger one that I realized that I had done nothing wrong), then put in a position that cut my salary by 15%. So now I work longer hours to pay the bills that I could comfortably pay on my old salary, including paying down the debt from 7.5 months of unemployment and kids in college.

I have been reading a book recently about the blessings of being of the tribe of Ephraim. And lo and behold, I saw the why to my recent life experiences. Satan makes OPEN WAR on the tribe of Ephraim because of our position within the tribes, and our duties. By attacking us he hopes to divert us from our true duties, which is to bring the rest of mankind to Christ.

My trial still isn't over. I'm desparately trying to get out of here, but it is truly up to the Lord. I have learned to trust in him much more. I have turned the problem over to him, literally, and in fact told him as much. Not in a snotty way, obviously, but simply by stating that I am doing all I can, so my finances are his worry. And it has worked.

We are ALL in the Lord's hands. Our trials are such that they are unique to each of us, and are tailored to help us reach exaltation (IOW become like our HF and Jesus Christ) in the quickest way possible. That doesn't mean that I don't get depressed or angry. I do. But when I quit my self pity I realize that it will get better because God is in control. And that is a comfort to me.

So while things bite right now, remember that you're in the Lord's hands, that he is very close ALWAYS, and that he will help.

And not all trials are to teach us something either. Sometimes other's agency (their vindictiveness, evilness, etc) impinges upon our lives. Part of mortality. But again, the Lord will make all things right eventually. And it will have been worth it.

Hang tough. Keep close to the Lord. You'll get thru it.

[martybess]

There's always a silver lining! Hang in there and vent all you want to. There was a point in my life where my peripheral neuropathy was so bad i was in a wheel chair. Life really sucks for me at times. HF has a way of putting things into perspective though. I would give anything to get my legs back!!! I'm in terrible pain most of the day. But it could be worse. My sister inlaw is peralized from the neck down after a mountain biking fall.

Not to make what your going through nothing for truly life can be painful. Keep on trucking and keep your head up.

[pam]

Oh my gosh..It's six...one of my favorite favorite people. What's it been? Over a year since you've posted here? Good to see you that you posted.

[Mahone]

An awful lot of people are finding it very tough at the moment. The poster above mentioned that a lot of church members seem to be suffering career wise, that's not due to being a part of the church but a part of the world. Everyone is feeling the effects of the current recession. Your lack of success at the moment is unlikely to be attributed to lack of skills or worthlessness. At the moment there is so much competition for each job that your resume has to REALLY stand out from the rest for them to even finish reading it. Not to mention that empoyers don't want someone who is going to move on as soon as the recession shows signs of ending, in other words you may be considered to be overqualified for some jobs - they won't necessarily tell you this in your feedback.

A one page document (your CV/resume) and even a half hour or an hour interview on top of that is not really a brilliant way of deciding which candidate is best for the job, a lot of assumptions are involved. So don't take it personally and don't give up!

[Jbs2763]

well, i did throw my resume up on carreerbuilder, and have 2 emails that say i qualify, farmers insurance....and pepsico....so i guess i'll apply to everything, not sure i wanna sell insurance....but better than pizza

[prospectmom]

see how your ranting ( your words ) has helped others remember when they were tthere or they are not alone....... I am glad you have good friends. I am glad you posted I too am having a rough time and and am trudging on....... do not give up

[Guest Alana]

I don't know if you have a family. That seems to make so much difference. When it was just me on my own, worse came to worse, I still had my POS car to sleep in. Once the kids arrive, then you have to be 'stable' I guess. Our version of stable was renting a room for almost 4 years from my mother in law. It was pretty horrible. But now that it's done, I'm so glad! Both that it's done, and that I did it and survived.

Any one I know who is single and having a rough spot in the road, I tell them to pack up and go hike the John Muir trail. It takes about a month. A good long, solid month to think, get tan and tones, loose weight, and miss your shower and bed. My not being single is my excuse of not being tan, toned, lighter... not showering, well, no excuse.

[beefche]

I'm sorry, JB. It's hard living through times like that. You have people who love you for you. As tough as it is to believe, this will pass and more pleasant times are waiting.

[Just_A_Guy]

JBS, have you looked into federally-subsidized student loans?

[Jbs2763]

JBS, have you looked into federally-subsidized student loans?

yeah, last year i made close to 60k...they look at last year, not this year

[ruthiechan]

yeah, last year i made close to 60k...they look at last year, not this year

You can submit a change of circumstances form which will get them to look at this year instead of last year. Worse comes to worse, you're stuck with it until next year before you can get back to school.

And when will you catch a break? Depends on what you define as "break."

As long as you are important, as long as you are a threat to Satan, you will be bombarded with trials of various sorts. So, try to remember that and be phenomenally awesome. Heavenly Father loves you and supports you. Don't let Satan who does not love you ruin your relationship with Heavenly Father who does.

Have you talked to your Bishop about your situation? Have you tried unemployment services that the church offers?

[pam]

Well I can totally relate to your circumstances. Just lost $1000 a month in child support. GRRRRR So I'm back to having major issues with finances. But I'll get through it.

[ruthiechan]

My husband lost his job back in the last week of April and he *still* hasn't gotten any unemployment checks. Because of that we had to ask the Bishop to help out with rent this month.

[Jbs2763]

i took a fast food job before i would accept unemployment

[pam]

My husband lost his job back in the last week of April and he *still* hasn't gotten any unemployment checks. Because of that we had to ask the Bishop to help out with rent this month.

Nothing wrong with that Ruthie...that's what the program is for.

[sixpacktr]

Hey Pam. Yeah, it was May of 2008, I believe. I was going thru some tough times with my job, and it was consuming, to say the least. My boss (I actually had two, one that was scared of the other) calls me in the day before our Christmas break and says, in effect: 'you suck, your job is in jeopardy. Merry Christmas' (he really did say to me to have a merry Christmas after dropping that bombshell). It came out of nowhere, it really did. So I spent 6 months 'remaking' myself, seeing the company shrink to learn what was wrong with me, and he had me convinced that I didn't measure up. Then things seemed to get a tad better, I took a trip to the Netherlands, at the behest of my 'boss' (the scared one). The problem was, my dotted line boss hated it when I left the office, and was waiting for me when I got back. So, long story short (too late, right?!) they fired me from my management position and put me in a job that is death to a career here. I believe they thought I wouldn't take it, but I did (gotta pay the bills). BTW, when I got outside of that pressure cooker and saw everything I did do in my job to really help the company, I realized that there was nothing wrong with me or my approach. They used it as a tool to make me uncomfortable for my job (a common approach with these two weasels, BTW).

Had some wonderful blessings during it all, know that the Lord is in charge, and that this will all have been worth it someday. But like I said, the last 5 years have been hell careerwise. So I stick by my original statement: yes, there are many out of work, but I truly believe that Satan is making war particularly on church members in regards to jobs and finances. It truly diverts you from what is important because your whole being is sucked up into having enough money to live.

Now I understand the wisdom behind the Perpetual Education Fund. Those that haven't been out of work or had their salary cut dramatically don't understand the all-consuming worry and fear that is everyday life. So I really do sympathize with JBS. His best bet is an education, but when you're already working 16 hour days, just when are you supposed to do that?

Thanks for noticing I'm back. Wondered if anyone would remember me...

[Mahone]

i took a fast food job before i would accept unemployment

Good, and not just for the money aspect. A drastic change of job role is understandable from the recruiters perspective - long term unemployment is not. Regardless of actual reasons for being unemployed for a long period of time, it's ridiculously difficult to try and explain.

[Guest missingsomething]

Jbs...

Im so sorry life has been tough. Im living that life too. TWO thoughts came to mind... 1)have you considered relocating - finding a CDL job outside of where you are now? Or just really pushing the envelope and trying something totally new in a new place - because most apt complexes will let you out of a lease if you get a job over 100 miles away.

Second thought-- its gotta get pretty dark sometimes so that you can see the light. Sometimes HF needs us to grow and so he needs to keep us close to him.... and to do this... it means... sometimes, for some of us, that bad things must happen.

Personally my life has been turned upside down over the past 2 months and I keep feeling like a freight train hit me. Just keep going... you are a hard worker and I admire that.... and other people will see that too.

PS- talked to funkyfool the other night :)