I'm Decided.

[xoomer]

I have Decided that I'm going to leave the church this week.. I'm going to go in and talk to my Bishop and tell him that I am leaving the church. The Elders and other members of the church are pushing me in directions I am not comfortable with like Speaking, And Blessing the sacrament. I am not a good enough person to do this.

I'm not perfect, I am not going to continue to try. guess... I failed again.

Thanks for Hearing me out... Thank you for welcoming me and giving me good advice.

Zach Monroe

[NeuroTypical]

I'm going to go in and talk to my Bishop and tell him that I am leaving the church.

If that's your decision, you are going about it in the right way.

Let us know how it goes.

LM

[aspenmgy]

Nobody is perfect. Cliche, yes, but true.

[lestertheemt]

Xoomer....

Please don't take this as I am trying to dissuade you in any way. You have to make the right decission for yourself.

Please allow me to share a story...........................................

There once was a little house.....it wasn't grand it was plain and simple. However it was built with good and stong material. The house was proud of itself it provided the need shelter w/out any leaks. Then one day it felt some shaking....then some hammering. What had this house done??? Why all the pain? It was good little house. It served its purpose. Then the bulldozers moved in....and more shaking and more hammering. What was going on? The house looked around it didn't recognize itself....it was more then just a small house. The change was painful and at times it felt nearly dreadful but the house was not a simple little home any more................it was a grand mansion.

We are a lot like that we see ourselves as simple and change is difficult and at times painful but the change is so worth it.

Remember you are loved..................no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest Believer_1829]

I have Decided that I'm going to leave the church this week.. I'm going to go in and talk to my Bishop and tell him that I am leaving the church. The Elders and other members of the church are pushing me in directions I am not comfortable with like Speaking, And Blessing the sacrament. I am not a good enough person to do this.

I'm not perfect, I am not going to continue to try. guess... I failed again.

Thanks for Hearing me out... Thank you for welcoming me and giving me good advice.

Zach Monroe

Easy enough... when they ask you to do stuff you don't want to do, say, "No, I'd rather not."

Then try your best at everything else. No one expects you to be perfect.

[miztrniceguy]

when people post here that they are leaving, thinking about leaving, etc are they looking for people to beg them to stay? i wonder about the psychology behind it. are they just wanting to feel wanted? i hope people don't rely on the internet solely for a decision like this...wether to quit or join for that matter.

[FairChild]

I felt like that once, wanting to leave the church because I wasn't good enough. Well, I finally understood that it was God that made me as I am. The best craftsman ever to create anything made ME. If he made me exactly as I am, then the best thing I can do is go forth and progress. It isn't easy, but it is possible. It is ok to learn how to say "no" effectively. That is a growth thing. Do what you can do and realize that it is all you can do. Take baby steps outside your comfort zone. Being able to do that will help you in your daily life, no matter what it is that life requires of you. Job, family, dating, married, children, sports, games, schooling, oh so many different things. Enjoy your life, that is important. One last question. How do you expect to become a better person if not by doing these things? You will be ok. Go for it.

[FairChild]

P.S., you can thank me for my good avice later, when it works.

[xoomer]

Im not looking for anyone to beg me to stay.. I just am looking for sound solid advice.

Thats all.

[prisonchaplain]

If you are being asked to do more, perhaps people are seeing more in you than you are seeing in yourself? Success can be more stressful than failure. I visited your site, and find myself perplexed that someone who in so many ways is a go-getter is tempted to give up due to a sense of inferiority.

[Dravin]

Im not looking for anyone to beg me to stay.. I just am looking for sound solid advice.

Thats all.

My advice:

1. As far as worthiness (that's how I'm reading 'good enough person') is concerned, ask your Bishop, if you have concerns you and him can work through them, if its just self-doubt he can help you with that. If its something else like you don't feel you are a well enough established member of the Church or something to that effect just keep in mind that you blessing the sacrament is just as valid as President Monson doing so.

If its just plain old fear about flubbing, the Bishop will let you know if you did and you say it again, no hassle, no fuss and its not like the congregation will throw rotten tomatoes at you.

2. As far as speaking. This one is tricky, if he wants you to speak ask if you can start small, maybe just bear your testimony at some point in the program, that way you can get used to being at the pulpit and don't have to worry about keeping track of time or writing what you feel is a good enough talk, from there you could go to 5 minute talks (though in some ways longer is easier) and work from there till you are participating in the program without any restrictions and undue discomfort (I say undue, because if you're like me, there will always be discomfort). Push comes to shove telling him no is better than leaving the Church.

Edited August 24, 2009 by Dravin

[Wingnut]

I was – oh, so old. My walls were thin, and between some of my boards were spaces that let in sunlight by day and the cool breezes by night. My only other source of sunlight was a massive door, held on by thick leather straps.

I stood behind a stately looking inn. For this I was glad. I was embarrassed because of my undignified appearance. I was created for a lowly purpose, for I was a stable.

The time of taxation had arrived. The stately inn was packed with people. All I held were a few cows.

Early this day my master had cleaned my floors and changed my straw. I prepared myself for the rough treatment the cattle always gave me, but to my surprise the cattle were very gentle. The all stood in one corner and ate very little of the straw. By the end of the day, I still looked beautiful – for a stable.

Suddenly, my door creaked open, letting in the night air, which I was trying so hard to keep out. There stood my master beside a tall, kindly looking man of those times.

“This will be fine, sir,” the stranger was saying, “but we must hurry.”

My master bade them good night and left. The strange walked to the center of my floor, followed by a small donkey, which carried a woman. The man gently placed her on my fresh, clean straw. She was beautiful, but in great pain.

That night she gave birth to a child. She gave birth to the Son of God within my frail walls.

A star, brighter than all the rest, shone down upon my, upon me and the glorious scene that was within my walls.

Even though my position in life had been a lowly stable, I have fulfilled the measure of my creation.

Moral of the story: you don't have to be a "good enough person" to speak in church or pass the Sacrament. You just have to be as good as you can be.

[talisyn]

Im not looking for anyone to beg me to stay.. I just am looking for sound solid advice.

Thats all.

Don't do it!

Tell your Bishop when you talk to him that you are uncomfortable and just want to go your own speed. How is he suppose to help solve a problem if he doesn't know there is one?

Basic questions to ask yourself: Is the Book of Mormon scripture? Did Christ visit the Americas after He was resurrected? Is there a modern-day prophet? Was Joseph Smith a prophet of God? If all these are true then where should you be? Speaking in public is merely an annoyance that can be overcome by diligently saying 'No' a lot. Leaving the church because of it seems extreme.

[Guest Alana]

Hey, I'm not good enough either! Join the crowd:) I mess up, then mess up again, then mess up again.

I will say though that I didn't have any peace in my life when I turned away from the Lord. That included turning away from the church. Life is tough and it sucks and blah blah blah. Anyways, best of luck to you:)

[Danite]

I guess my question is what brought you in to the church? It seems that you must of had a witness that the church was ture. What changed from the time you were baptized and now. I would ask you to share your concerns with the elders and your Bishop level with them tell, them what's going on. Can you stay in the church another six months? Things may change by then. I know that I'm a much better man,father, around human being for belonging the to church.

Edited August 24, 2009 by Danite
dropped some words

[Misshalfway]

Being LDS is sometimes a lot of pressure. I think I was raised in a very "perfectionistic" kind of mentality. I got side tracked into thinking that being righteous was about my "performance". I don't think I am alone in getting caught up in viewing the scriptures/commandments/mormon culture this way.

But then some things in my life happened in my life and I couldn't see anything the same anymore. After lots of searching within myself, God brought me to a better understanding of what this whole religion and all the "obedience" stuff is all about. And I will tell you it is a much more accepting, understanding, paradigm than I allowed myself to see before. It changed the whole way I saw God and myself and the church and my behaviors. It is such a kinder, gentler way and to tell you the truth, I don't care so much about being perfect anymore. All my imperfections are swallowed up in Christ. I am understanding now that this was a Satan thing as he tried to get me succored and so focused on my "doings" that I would miss the mark.

I hope that as you search that you will find ways of thinking about things that liberate you too. Best wishes as you make your decisions.

Edited August 24, 2009 by Misshalfway

[Mirium]

We have never failed until we quit trying. None of us are perfect, I have many failings. People would rather just have you in sacrament meeting without doing talks or blessing the sacrament rather than not have you there atall. I have been in the church nearly ten years and have never given a talk my nerves just won't let me do it. I just try to do what I can do and try not to worry about what I can't. I'm sure that if you explain to your Bishop and the Elders how you feel and that its making you want to quit church they will stop trying to push you into these things.

Please don't give up coming, I tried that once and it just made me feel worse.

[Guest Alana]

Also would like to say that the YEARS that I was at church but not worthy to take the sacrament were a million times better than the years I didn't go to church. But then again, this is all part of my trying to convince yourself to not distance yourself from the church. Especially doing it so severely, in contrast to just not going and asking for no contact.

Can you blame me though? Being able to take advantage of the atonement by doing everything I can (which for myself includes attending my meetings) has bridged the gap of my total unworthiness. It's a nice feeling to be mortal and still be able to feel Heavenly Fathers love. I can't feel it though when I'm the one to push Him away.

[Hemidakota]

Are you shy in dealing with people or performing church ordinances?

Edited August 24, 2009 by Hemidakota

[mlbrowninwa]

I can say that when i first joined the church back in June I was very nervous/shy about passing the sacrament and at the time thought, what am I going to do when I am asked to give a talk? The first time I was asked to pass the sacrament I declined to do it. No one thought any less of me. A couple weeks later I volunteered to pass it when I noticed they were short and have done it a couple times now. I'm sure that i will be nervous the first time I have to give a talk as I'm willing to bet most are. There are not many of us that would not be nervous having to stand up and give a talk in front of 100 people or more.

I went a lot of years not being a member. I know that there are many people in my ward and the church as a whole that have lived better lives than I and that's just fine. We are ALL made whole through the sacrifice of our savior Jesus Christ. There is not one person in the church that is perfect and we all have things we are not proud of. All we can do is try our best. Hang in there friend and go with some of the advice you have received from other members of this forum. Talk to your Bishop. Work into things at the church at your pace. Your brothers and sisters will understand I'm sure.

Edited August 24, 2009 by mlbrowninwa