At what age is it risky to bear children?

[bcguy]

Ive read that woman who are past 35 run the risk of having kids with birth defects. Is there a sound rule on this? Wife is 40 plus and we have no kids. She is depressed because of it but it was her choice 10 years ago not to have any "we cannot afford them" what her common comment.

Thanks

[marshac]

Ive read that woman who are past 35 run the risk of having kids with birth defects. Is there a sound rule on this? Wife is 40 plus and we have no kids. She is depressed because of it but it was her choice 10 years ago not to have any "we cannot afford them" what her common comment.

Thanks

It's actually 30, and the defects are usually from genetic abnormalities (nondisjunction (so you end up with 3 copies total) of the 21st chromosome results in down syndrome for example).

Basically what it comes down to is a woman's eggs are as old as she is, and exist in a 'paused' state of meiosis. The last step (meiosis II) has to happen before ovulation, and this is where things can get messed up. That's not to say things WILL get messed up, but the odds of it increase after age 30... at least, that's what I can recall from class.

I don't know what the church's stance on in vitro fertilization, but if cost is no issue, you could pursue that route and have genetic tests done on the embryos and implant the healthy ones.... or you could just try the normal way and see what happens. The odds are still on your side that if you conceive a child, it'll be normal and healthy.

Edited March 16, 2010 by marshac
added a pic

[MsQwerty]

If you do an internet search you will find groups/forums/websites full of women who have had babies after 35 and beyond. I happen to be one of them. I married for the second time at 37 after a long single haitus and never expected to have any more children apart from the one beautiful daughter I had from my first marriage. However, I conceived my middle child naturally at the age of 40 (three months after I stopped taking the contraceptive pill) and she was born a few days after my 41st birthday. My last child was conceived when I was 45 (not planned, but an absolute miracle), and she was born two months after my 46th birthday. Both girls are intelligent and healthy, no problems at all. I did have tests for chromosomal abnormalities and a full ultrasound at 25 weeks to be prepared in case there were any health issues. As it is, I've been incredibly blessed. Both times the births were 'normal' with deliveries taking less than an hour both times, although both babies were born at about 37/38 weeks gestation.

I might add that my philosophy with having my second child at 40 was not to stress over getting pregnant - if it happened it happened, and if not, then there were other things I was meant to focus on in life. The second time I actually believed I was no longer fertile and in perimenopause at 45...but it turned out my symptoms were of pregnancy. No-one was more shocked than my husband and myself, but we adjusted our lives to welcome her into our family and she is now an absolutely gorgeous, precious, smart, adorable two and a half year old.

I have met many other women who've had children in their 40's, and out of one close group I was involved with for close to 8 years (about 25 of us) only one had a child born with Downs Syndrome. That little girl was one of a set of twins, the other baby had no health issues. In my ward, several women in their 40's have given birth during the past year and a half - some have large families, for one it was her first child. None were on IVF. It's also quite common nowadays for women who are not in the church to wait until they are near 30 to have their first child.

As a matter of fact, women having babies past the age of 35 is not at all uncommon, even during previous generations. My great grandmother had her last child 86 years ago when she was 40 - that child was her 'baby' of ten children, my grandmother. Emma Smith was born in 1804, and the prophet Joseph was killed in June, 1844. At the time she was pregnant with what I believe was their fifth child, David Hyrum, who was born in November of that same year. That would have made her 41 or so when she had her last baby.

Ok, so I know this is all anecdotal and it doesn't match up with those horrible charts that doctors love to show us (no offense to marshac!) and all the doom and gloom that's reserved for anyone over 30+ who chooses to have a baby - but even if there is a 4% risk of having a child with a chromosomal abnormality, the flip side is you have a 96% chance of everything going well.

Please tell your wife to take heart. 40 is not the end of the road for childbearing, although obviously your wife should consult with her doctor to rule out any health issues that may be preventing her from conceiving.

The biggest issue with having small children in your 40's, for me at least, is that our energy is not the same as when we were 20, or even 30. So keeping physically healthy and relatively fit is important for coping with the rigours of childrearing (can we say, kiss your Saturday sleep-ins goodbye!) in midlife.

Best of luck to both of you - drop me an update if the happy event occurs!

Edited March 16, 2010 by MsQwerty

[Elgama]

fact is its always risky after 30 its just more likely - my daughter nearly killed me at 27. my sons just made my life difficult lol I was after 30. You can have a healthy child and pregnancy after 40 and things can go wrong at 18. Its the luck of the draw like with everything

[Wingnut]

Over 35 is considered "high risk" these days. Over 40 and they will almost certainly have an operating team standing by for an emergency c-section, should it be needed (if they don't schedule a c-section to start with at that age).

[MsQwerty]

Over 35 is considered "high risk" these days. Over 40 and they will almost certainly have an operating team standing by for an emergency c-section, should it be needed (if they don't schedule a c-section to start with at that age).

No, they don't schedule a c-section 'at that age' at all. The pregnancy and birth are treated like any other, with health issues being managed as they arise the same as any other pregnancy.

I birthed two children naturally after 40 with no problems whatsoever.

And I've known women who are much younger who've had terrible, prolonged and painful labors as has been noted already. Sometimes there are just no predictors.

[Wingnut]

No, they don't schedule a c-section 'at that age' at all. The pregnancy and birth are treated like any other, with health issues being managed as they arise the same as any other pregnancy.

I birthed two children naturally after 40 with no problems whatsoever.

And I've known women who are much younger who've had terrible, prolonged and painful labors as has been noted already. Sometimes there are just no predictors.

My mother-in-law was 44 when she had her last child. Her doctors never even considered a vaginal birth for her.

[Dravin]

My mother-in-law was 44 when she had her last child. Her doctors never even considered a vaginal birth for her.

I note that MrQwerty lists her location as Australia, that and individual doctors/hospitals preferences probably explain the discrepancy in experiences.

[MarginOfError]

My institution (ranked sixth in the US for gynecological care) would rarely consider anything but a cesarean for a woman older than 40. Especially for a primary delivery. They might be more open to it if the woman had a recent history of successful vaginal deliveries, but there are just too many unknowns in the case of a primary delivery.

[confuzzled]

In my M.D's office anyone over the age of 35 is considered high risk. They are offered to see a perinatologist and genetic testing. However there are numerous factors that could make any one a "high risk" pregnancy age is not the only factor.

[Gwen]

my dr told me over 35 or more than 6 kids was high risk. the nurse that delivered my 5th was very clear about my "risks".

[HiJolly]

Our last child was born when my wife was 43. We married when she was 26, and she proceeded then to have a child every odd year of her life, up to and including 43.

She had a miscarriage at age 42 that almost killed her, and our last child shows some minor indication of asperger's. We decided that was the end of our child-bearing years.

HiJolly

[Bini]

I would suggest adoption. There are so many children out there that need homes, here in the US and outside of the US. Many of them will never know what a real family is or what love is. But every once in awhile they get lucky, like I was. Maybe consider it as an option. She won't have to go through the physical aspects of having her own child but she'll still get all the wonderful blessings of having a child in her life (and yours) as if the child were your own.

[pam]

Even when I was 34 and pregnant (that was a long time ago) I was considered a high risk.

[Moksha]

Some might say that having kids at any age is a risky business.

[MsQwerty]

My mother-in-law was 44 when she had her last child. Her doctors never even considered a vaginal birth for her.

She must have had pre-existing conditions that caused the doctors concern, because that was absolutely not my experience, nor was it for the majority of women I've known (and there's been dozens) who have had children after 40.

[MsQwerty]

I note that MrQwerty lists her location as Australia, that and individual doctors/hospitals preferences probably explain the discrepancy in experiences.

Why am I getting the feeling that I'm not believed, lol.

The discrepancy might be attributable to the different locations of people here. But...

My now seven year old was born in 2002 in Nth Virginia, USA, in Reston Hospital to be exact. My ob/gyn was Dr Evelyn Felluca (Perfectly Female Women's Health) and she herself had two children later in life. She never treated me like I was 'high risk' - choosing to manage my pregnancy like any other, which meant that problems would be dealt with IF they arose. We had the usual discussion at the start of the pregnancy about possible risks I could face. On the night I went into labor, she was unavailable and a locum ob/gyn Dr Namrata Choudery (WomenFirst Obgyn) came to the hospital to help deliver the baby. She was EXCELLENT I must say, and didn't bat an eyelid or suggest a c-section. Less than half an hour of arriving at the hospital, I delivered my little girl.

My now two year old was born in 2007 in Australia (won't give that location cos it's where I now live and I am aware of cyber-safety issues). My ob/gyn here took exactly the same approach as my previous physician in VA. He gave me the general health and risks talk at the beginning, talked about options and a birth plan. He too treated the pregnancy as normal and took the approach that IF problems arose, they'd be dealt with as needed. That labor took less than an hour as well. It is worth noting that my ob/gyn is also a lecturer at a prestigious medical university here, has five children of his own and has delivered more babies than any of us could imagine, so he does know his 'stuff'.

So, maybe I'm a freak of nature or something - but it's not been my experience to have c-sections 'scheduled'. Nor has that been the case for the other women I've known in support groups who are of a similar age who have had babies later in life. Actually I do recall one woman whose doctor scare-mongered her through her whole pregnancy at 38, but she had a history of difficult pregnancies and c-sections when she was younger so there was probably cause for concern.

I am quite certain that any ob/gyn would not schedule a c-section delivery for a woman unless there were pre-existing health conditions.

I'm not saying there are NO risks involved in having children after 35, but the fact is that pregnancy at any age has risks. Obviously knowledge and specialised care will provide the best outcomes for any pregnancy. Random factors such as predisposition to high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia are present in women of any age who choose to have children. Even being overweight can be considered a 'high risk' for having a baby.

PS. If anyone here thinks I am not telling the truth, you are more than welcome to contact me personally. You will discover I am a living, breathing human being (not a fuzzy koala bear) who most certainly is relating her authentic experiences. If you are a woman who is considering having a child after 35, I can also put you in touch with other women who have had similar experiences to me.

[hordak]

Why am I getting the feeling that I'm not believed, lol.

.

Because, since it started as a penal colony we suspect the majority of Aussies are the descendants of criminals;)

J/K

[MsQwerty]

Because, since it started as a penal colony we suspect the majority of Aussies are the descendants of criminals;)

J/K

Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me...

(Thanks Vizzini...)

[WillowTheWhisp]

My mother was 42 when she had me and had a normal birth. I think I'm normal. I don't think they went in for C section way back then. I was 39 when my oldest daughter was born and 42 when my youngest was. Although I was told about possible risks of Downs syndrome I chose not to have the amnio because the gynaecologist said it could be a risk and as I was not entertaining the possibility of abortion he did not recommend it.

My first daughter was born normally and is a perfectly happy healthy well adjusted 18 year old now. Her sister was born by C-section but not because I was an older mother, because I needed an op due to a tumour which needed to be removed and she was in the way. She is now a high acheiving 15 year old who has already passed school exams normally taken a year later.

[Gwen]

i don't think it's an issue of anyone not believing the experiences of another. i think it's more a matter or each sharing what they have seen in their experiences. from what i've heard woman over 40 being treated like a normal delivery is unusual. the general consensus would be that it's high risk. it's possible the dr did think of it as high risk but didn't see need to alarm the mother with potentially unneeded precautions.

we never really know what the dr is thinking behind their calm exterior. with my 3rd he was much much bigger than anticipated (9.5 lbs). after being in labor all day and spending several hours pushing he was not coming. the dr finally said, "if something doesn't happen we need to prep for a c-section. ..... " he said it so calmly. i said a silent prayer. within less than 5 min my epidural wore off and the contractions hit hard. it was a very painful delivery. when it was all over the dr looked at me and said, "you are so calm. i'm shaking". he held his hands out and they were trembling. i had no idea he was that stressed or worried about things. he kept his composure so well. looking back with more knowledge of things i think the dr saw the entire situation as high risk (which it was) but i guess i didn't know enough to be as scared as he was.

i find around here most deliveries are scheduled. depending on the circumstances it could be either c-section or induction. the high risk are almost always scheduled. that way if something does go wrong they have a full staff and it's not in the middle of the night with no one on hand.

[bcguy]

Is it that the risk stem from the type of delivery vs birth defects? Our province is not a suitable place for children who has developmental conditions vs say alberta. This is one of the reasons why my friend moved her familly from here to alberta.

Now, read wifes eggs would have to be examined?

Lastly, economy is sucking now. Not working full time and possibly now part time, so may have to look for other work. Such is life!

[RachelleDrew]

Is your wife in good physical and mental condition? Were the members of your family tree pretty healthy?

If that's all in top shape then the risks are still relatively low. Of course they get higher the older you get, but if your wife is healthy then I wouldn't worry about it as much.

Have you guys talked with a doctor about this?

[mikbone]

These questions make you wonder how humanity was ever able to arrive at our current position.

Was it risky 200 or 2000 years ago when people did not practice contraception and doctors had a very limited understanding of the human body?

I have 8 children and #9 is on the way. My wife is 39 y/o and I delivered the last 2 children at home because the local hospital refused to perform a vaginal delivery. She had had a C-section for our first child and most hospitals will not perform VBACs (Vaginal Birth After C-section)

Wanna know what I used to deliver the last 2 children. 2 cable ties and a pocket knife. They are both healthy. Down syndrome is a possibility but If we had a Down child we would love it just the same as the rest...

[talisyn]

I'm 38 and 12 weeks along. When I went in for my first dr. appt. nothing was mentioned about high risk or tests, and I didn't volunteer questions cause I wasn't gonna do the tests anyways The ultrasound showed my little egghead wiggling around with a heart so the dr. didn't seem very worried.

The fact is things like Down's Syndrome is rare. And, even if you and your wife did have a child with problems, would you do anything different?