MarginOfError Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 I was talking to someone who said something I adamantly agreed with. I wanted to give voice to my agreement and blurted out in my best Shaft imitation "Dang Straight." You just can't be Mormon and do Shaft. What other cool things do mormons miss out on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DigitalShadow Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 You still could have said the phrase. As long as in your head you were picturing a large structure holding back water rather than a swear word, I'm sure it would have been fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunkyTown Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 You still could have said the phrase. As long as in your head you were picturing a large structure holding back water rather than a swear word, I'm sure it would have been fine I can't even say Amsterdarn without blushing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 What other cool things do mormons miss out on? Knowing what you're talking about, since the movie Shaft was rated R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted March 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Knowing what you're talking about, since the movie Shaft was rated R.Dammmmmmm........electricity runs the DVD player in which I would never play a rated R movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DigitalShadow Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Dammmmmmm........electricity runs the DVD player in which I would never play a rated R movie.Watch your mouth! Talk of renewable energy is not allowed on this forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarnished Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Let's see... Drinking alcohol, oh wait, that can lead to getting drunk, and the possibility of getting addicted to alcohol...nevermind Experimenting sexually, oh wait that can lead to diseases and possibly messed up behavior...nevermind Smoking, wait that can lead to addiction not to speak of the loss of taste, the smell, and the other health hazards...nevermind Hmm, I can't seem to think of any good ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 (edited) Why would you want a straight dam? An arch dam is much more efficient in the use of concrete from my understanding. Edited March 23, 2010 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honor Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Sounds like you really know your dam stuff there Drav. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADoyle90815 Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Ordering anything other than a strawberry or vanilla cream-based frappachino at Starbucks, since they have frappachinos that have coffee in them. Get virgin drinks because they look like the real drink with alcohol. Also, if a restaurant has a bar inside, better to wait for a table outside of the bar because someone from church might see you and think you were having an alcoholic drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 I once knew a lady who lived with her son near a dam. One day she told her son to take a bucket to the dam and get some dam water from the dam guy. So he went with his bucket to the dam to get some dam water. He asked the dam guy for some dam water, but was told he couldn't have any dam water. The boy told the dam man he could keep his dam water, and went home. Oh, and the dam was arched. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Back to the original question: Well, we can't do as William Wallace and shoot lightning out of every orifice. We can't do anything in an American Pie or Porky's movie. And I doubt if most Mormons can actually figure out how to use one of those Suzanne Sommers Thigh Masters.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenamarie Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 If you're in Relief Society you can't have nicely toned tricepts. (at least, that's been my observation... ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Sounds like you really know your dam stuff there Drav.I've seen a dam show or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Ordering anything other than a strawberry or vanilla cream-based frappachino at Starbucks, since they have frappachinos that have coffee in them.Double Chocolatey Chip Frappuccino. Mmmmmm!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest xforeverxmetalx Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 What about things non-Mormons can't do? Like joke about dams in a way that actually is funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikkie85 Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Since I am a convert I will admit that I miss and occasionally crave coffee and tea. In the South we have a drink commonly called an Arnold Palmer half sweet tea half lemonade...pure bliss. I miss going to a coffee shop with friends and talking over some overloaded and overpriced coffee drink...yumm....but I know the blessings out weight the deliciousness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wisc Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 · Hidden Hidden Knowing what you're talking about, since the movie Shaft was rated R. Dont try to be all goody goody. Even Monson knows who Shaft is! Who's the black private dick That's a sex machine to all the chicks? SHAFT! Ya ____ right! Who is the man that would risk his neck For his brother man? SHAFT! Can you dig it? Who's the cat that won't cop out When there's danger all about? SHAFT! Right On! They say this cat Shaft is a bad motherSHUT YOUR MOUTH! I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft. THEN WE CAN DIG IT! He's a complicated man But no one understands him but his womanJOHN SHAFT! Link to comment
prisonchaplain Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 How about reciting the 10th Commandment in King James Version? As a 10 year old I remember wondering if I'd be rewarded or punished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 I wouldn't call Gordon Monson a goody-goody. In fact, I regularly call him an idiot. His columns in the paper are rarely worth reading, it's so bad that they stopped using it in bird cages from the rashes it left on the birds' behinds. And his radio show is hardly worth tuning in to. Locked on Sports is a much better show with more insights into the Jazz and the local sports scene than Monson will ever have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moksha Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Elders cannot dance the Hokey Pokey without fear of cursing some area of the world when they "turn themselves around". Anyway, that's what it's all about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 I'm familiar with the movie Shaft, I just didn't know that "da®n straight" came from it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talisyn Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Mormons can't really enjoy an ice-cold Pepsi or Coke product without feeling slightly rebellious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Mormons can't really enjoy an ice-cold Pepsi or Coke product without feeling slightly rebellious.There are some advantages to living in Happy Valley. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faded Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 I'm racking my brain, but I can't think of a single thing that other people consider "fun" that doesn't lend itself strongly to self destructive behavior. Illicit drugs, alcohol, coffee, tobacco -- they addict you, they all cost money you could have spent on better things and they all stand to shorten your life. Bonus with alcohol of course: You might get pregnant or get somebody else pregnant or cheat on your spouse and not remember a thing! Yeah, so many "fun" things we miss out on.Somebody mentioned Starbucks. This makes me curious. To me, coffee smells terrible!! Every accidental taste of coffee flavored ice-cream or a coffee flavored jelly bean was absolutely terrible, involving a good bit of gagging and spitting. If you gave me a choice between eating a spoon full of mud and drinking a cup of coffee, it's a coin toss as to which is more disgusting. If I ever find myself near a Starbucks or any other coffee-specializing establishment, I can't wait to get away from the stench. I've noticed that a lot of life-long members (ie never had a drink of coffee in their life) generally agree with me on this, but some do not. I really wonder if coffee only smells and tastes good to people who have been addicted to it at some point. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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