Run0750 Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 ok. So what is the reason behind once you are confirmed an elder you cannot hug someone? I dont quite understand? Im talking about hugging someone who is a close friend to you but is of the opposite gender. Why cant you say goodbye and hug? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Run0750 Posted July 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 Id just like to understand and know why it is. Anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnixGuy Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 I may be wrong, but I believe it is because missionaries try to avoid even the "appearance" of evil. Because they tend to stick out like a sore thumb, and everyone stares at them, those watching might mistake an innocent hug to mean something more than just that. It might also have something to do with self control, which the Elders need a great deal of. Of course these days, all hugging or other intimate contact should probably be avoided except in rare circumstances. If I saw two young men in suits hugging I would probably incorrectly stereotype the participants (a bad habit). While I was a missionary my mission president discontinued the hugging tradition the previous president held (har har, so punny). The exception was in the mission home around farewell time. It was never done in public. Finally, it really is up to individual missionary preference. My fellow Elders and I hugged two sisters before leaving the MTC because we had developed an emotional relationship with them. Even though it was completely innocent, we were careful to say our good-byes a non-public area. It could also be a convenient excuse to not hug someone you find really annoying. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 Perhaps you can shed some light on the situation and enlighten us as to what you were told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miztrniceguy Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Run0750 Posted July 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 well. I have a very very close firend who is a girl who I have invited to my setting apart. I would like to give her a hug instead of just a handshake. But if I do that is my bishop and such going to flip out and delay my mission. Are there serious consequences for something as little as a hug for someone who means alot to you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterT Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 BEcause there's a field generated around your person created by The Force, simply referred to as a "Force Field," that is naturally generated as an effect of receiving The Force, or as most of us like to refer to it, the Priesthood. Since the "force Field" is of infinately varying density, becoming less penetrable with decreasing distance, it simply is physically impossible for an Elder to make physical contact with a member of the opposite sex unless she is in posession of a "Force De-Fielding" device which is issued in the sealing room at the Temple. Next strupid question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Run0750 Posted July 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 English not star wars talk please lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 Why not give her the hug before you are set apart? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Run0750 Posted July 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 Why not give her the hug before you are set apart?lol I plan on that but I guess I would like to leave her with a hug and not just a handshake you know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterT Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 English not star wars talk please lolWell, I know that its fashionable these days to say "there's no such thing as a stupid question," or "the only stupid question is the one you don't ask," but I'm from the old school of bad parenting that says "ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer," "yes, son, there is such a thing as a dumb question; think before you speak," and my ultimate favorite technogeek anacronism "WSYWYG," (what you see is what you get), or more computer tekkie, "Trash in, trash out."I hope you are feeling the sarcasm seething though the ethernet. I'm not laughing with you, I am laughing at you.. Oops, I meant to say it the other way, but instead wrote what I was actually thinking... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Run0750 Posted July 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 You know maybe Im not from the old school way of thinking like you. Heck maybe we just plain think differently period. But I asked a question for some good reasoning of why things are so I can learn. Some people dont know eveything and have some questions so I see no harm in asking. I mean if I never ask how can I know. But thank you for your "advice" sir. But can anyone help me out so I can learn what the reasoning is behind this. So I can "learn". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moksha Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 I wish hugging would occur at the end of Sacrament meeting, just after we hold hands and sing, Let There be Peace on Earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterT Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 You know maybe Im not from the old school way of thinking like you. Heck maybe we just plain think differently period. But I asked a question for some good reasoning of why things are so I can learn. Some people dont know eveything and have some questions so I see no harm in asking. I mean if I never ask how can I know. But thank you for your "advice" sir. But can anyone help me out so I can learn what the reasoning is behind this. So I can "learn".You do realize I've been teasing you, right? I hope you got that I was funning you, not trying to be nasty.Just shake your head north and south and say "yessir," and we'll get along nice...Don't make me start my "You listen here, son. I was humping 200 pounds of gear through a stinking jungle while I carried a machinegun and shot people for a living at the same time your poop looked like mustard, so you can show me some respect, or I'll pummel your buttox until you do" speech...Again - I mean this humorously. What fun would the internet be if you could actually ask a serious question and get a serious answer without some wiseacre making fun of you??? Do you really want to live in a world like that??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Run0750 Posted July 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 You do realize I've been teasing you, right? I hope you got that I was funning you, not trying to be nasty.Just shake your head north and south and say "yessir," and we'll get along nice...Don't make me start my "You listen here, son. I was humping 200 pounds of gear through a stinking jungle while I carried a machinegun and shot people for a living at the same time your poop looked like mustard, so you can show me some respect, or I'll pummel your buttox until you do" speech...Again - I mean this humorously. What fun would the internet be if you could actually ask a serious question and get a serious answer without some wiseacre making fun of you??? Do you really want to live in a world like that??? lol yea I get what your saying but I really could use some advice and some knowledge about the situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterT Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 I have no advice to offer, good or bad. I only suggest you speak to your Bishop and the local Mission President. I'm sure it has a lot to do with maintaining even the appearance of propriety, so that there's never any question in anyone's mind, yourself included, that your thoughts and actions are pure. I personally make it a habit of never hugging anyone, ever. It maybe part of the reason I'm in my mid-30's and single... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris_natasha Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 This is how my brother explained it when I was a youngun. Hugging can cause emotions, not necessarily romantic, that can make your thoughts stray from what your primary focus should be. Of course, there are folks at the LDS church who read too much into the littlest thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 well. I have a very very close firend who is a girl who I have invited to my setting apart. I would like to give her a hug instead of just a handshake. But if I do that is my bishop and such going to flip out and delay my mission. Are there serious consequences for something as little as a hug for someone who means alot to you?So hug her before the setting apart or don't invite her at all. The latter would probably be most appropriate, unless she's part of your family. Say your goodbyes before the setting apart, so that you can be in a better frame of mind to focus on your setting apart blessing -- both the importance of the moment and the specific things said to you during the blessing. Your mission wouldn't be delayed -- it's not a sin. It's a matter of obedience and commitment. Once you are set apart as a missionary (not as an elder, because you can still be an elder without being a missionary), you are no longer John Smith. You are Elder Smith, missionary of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. (1) Missionary rules prohibit non-hand-shaking-or-baptizing contact with members of the opposite sex. The more obedient you are, the more you will be blessed with the Spirit. Without the Spirit, you cannot teach effectively. Is it a trade-off you're willing to make? (2) Commitment. Are you committed to your friendship with this particular female, or are you committed to the mission you have been called to serve for the Lord? There's no reason you can't be both, but they have separate times and seasons. Once you are set apart, the season of your mission has begun, and you need to focus on that.Well, I know that its fashionable these days to say "there's no such thing as a stupid question," or "the only stupid question is the one you don't ask," but I'm from the old school of bad parenting that says "ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer,"I like the last one best. I reference it from time to time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mordorbund Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 (1) Missionary rules prohibit non-hand-shaking-or-baptizing contact with members of the opposite sex. The more obedient you are, the more you will be blessed with the Spirit. Without the Spirit, you cannot teach effectively. Is it a trade-off you're willing to make?I served a mission 8 years ago, so this information may be dated. As I recall, the wording in the white handbook (which isn't issued until you get to the MTC) was that you are not to "act inappropriately" anyone of the opposite sex. What exactly that means I think depends on the culture you're in (and of course the MP is king). When I was in the MTC, the specific rule was that you should stay "arm's length" away from anyone of the opposite sex.I think it's always been a gray area for what the rules are for missionaries before they're processed in the MTC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UrbanFool Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 What's a setting apart? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 It's a good way to start learning what a mission is. And what a mission is, is the exact opposite of 'all about what you want'. It sounds snippy but it really isn't. When you go on a mission, you are giving up two years of what you want, to go do what God wants. To the extent that you can align your wants with God's, you'll experience pleasantry. When you find yourself wanting to do something God doesn't want you to do, like experience a teenage pheremone rush by hugging a girl at an important occasion, you'll experience less pleasantry and more growth. LM (or so they tell me, I never went on a mission myself) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 Or be in the car or home without another companion - meaning for him - another male member. Keeps them out of trouble. Giving hugs is not hard thing. Just don't be toooooooo manly with her. She is your sister and think of it on that level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mordorbund Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 Or be in the car or home without another companion - meaning for him - another male member. Keeps them out of trouble.Yeah, I should have mentioned this in my post too. There's rules in the handbook about staying with your companion (and sleeping in the same room but different beds). I don't think that means that if you have your own room before you're set apart you should move in with your brother or dad after being set apart.And how can you even be expected to know "mission rules" when they haven't been given to you yet?My advice would be to counsel with those who will be in the room: your parents and priesthood leaders. Ask them if they think it would be beyond the pale for you to hug your friend, or if there's a better way to express your mutual joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mordorbund Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 What's a setting apart?When someone is given a calling in the church, they are then "set apart" from their brothers and sisters to fulfill the duties associated with the calling. The ordinance involves Melchizedek Priesthood holders placing their hands on a person's head. One of the people (appointed beforehand) will thenCall the person by nameState that the authority by which the ordinance is performed (Melchizedek Priesthood)State that the person is set apart for a callingOffer a blessing as dictated by the SpiritClose in the name of Jesus Christ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moksha Posted July 13, 2010 Report Share Posted July 13, 2010 What's a setting apart? A quite undisturbed cave on the island of Tahiti. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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