applepansy Posted March 14, 2011 Report Share Posted March 14, 2011 yes, they have a word for men, but not for women...Even if there was a word for women it wouldn't include the breasts. Young girls are mutilated in Africa. What is done to them would qualify for a female eunuch.yes, I had to have special PPI's before I could be baptized etc. etc. it didn't really sink in until I had kids though, after I finally figured out what a family is all about, what kids are all about, I went through a repentance process (that started with a bishop asking everyone for their personal histories for a genealogy project... I turned mine in like everyone else, and then got called in... I'm not sure it's really something that you ever forgive yourself for, beyond the veil I will have to be forgiven by the one whom I killed, that's who is really going to have to forgive me...good... I'm glad you've gone through that process. It is still possible for you to forgive yourself in this life. according to wiki (don't go to the article btw as it has picts on it)"According to a study by Figueroa-Hass,[23] improvements in women's self-esteem and sexual satisfaction were directly attributed to their breast augmentation. Patients aged 21 to 57 years old showed an average increase in self-esteem from 20.7 to 24.9 on the 30-point Rosenberg scale. Further to the increase in self-esteem, a 78.6 percent increase was noted in sexual desire."[23]Plastic Surgery Helps Self-Esteem | Psych Central News“So much attention is directed to men’s sexuality issues; we have all seen countless commercials on drugs and therapy devoted to improving men’s sexuality. Unfortunately, very little is discussed regarding women’s sexuality issues,” Figueroa-Haas said....“Nurses should display compassion and understand an individual’s reason for seeking cosmetic surgery instead of dismissing or stereotyping these patients. This study shows that there are genuine psychological improvements that follow plastic surgery, and these issues must be understood and respected."we would like to think these things do not impact us, but they do...I am not contesting any of this and wasn't in my first response. I agree that sometimes plastic surgery is the best option. BUT, studies also show that it needs to be done AFTER other options are exhausted. From your own words you are carrying some heavy emotional baggage. All I'm saying is to please work through the emotional issues before you use surgery to fix anything.I'll say this again... You are a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves you!!! Please learn to love yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rex8499 Posted March 14, 2011 Report Share Posted March 14, 2011 I say to get the surgery if you want it. If iI were you, I'd want it. If you were my wife, I'd love you without it, but I'd want you to get it. Breasts are my favorite physical feature about a woman. As for size, I would suggest discussing it openly with your husband about what size you want and what size he would like most and try and find a size that is a nice compromise and makes you both satisfied. Yes, this is primarily for you and youre the one who has to carry them around so your opinion trumps, but if you can make both of you happy, why not. Guys tend to be picky about the breasts they like. Some like them small, some like them huge. Some think huge breasts look rather grose. Some like big areolas and some don't. If you haven't asked your husband exactly what he prefers best, you might as well. I'm sure he could tell you what in his mind is the ideal pair of breasts. It doesn't mean that's the only thing he wants, it's just our favorite. My wife doesn't have the ideal pair of breasts in my mind, but they're still great. I'm a B-cup kind of guy. We have talked about after having kids if hers get too big and saggy possibly getting them reduced back to what they are now, or even a little smaller. She's fine with the idea, actually, maybe she even proposed it. I can't remember. But we talked casually about it. I love her no matter what, but there's no harm in going crazy every time she takes off her shirt. I already do. Even if you're lacking enough flesh to stretch over a larger pair, they can do it in stages and let the skin grow and stretch in between. Ultimately you could be any size and shape that you wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
findingmyway Posted March 14, 2011 Report Share Posted March 14, 2011 Im sure at this point , that you know how much people love and care for you here. My wife wanted to have implants, and I disagreed. She is a beautiful woman. She has many scars from different surgeries including dialysis and transplant. I dont care if a supermodel was here, shes still the most beautiful woman I know. I am not with her anymore , and I realize whats most important..... and its not her looks or the 'sporting' :D. Im sure you are beautiful, and Im sure everyone here feels the same way, even though we have not seen you.Theres a difference between a vain woman and someone who needs help. If I was half blind and surgery could help me see better, I would do it so I could see a better smile on my own face, not to mention my wife or kids. If you have a child with a cleft lip , would you fix it , or continue to love the child and do nothing? Think about your intentions. Are you vain or do you need help ? Either way , I dont judge , and you shouldnt care if others do. Noone knows you or your challenges better than your Heavenly Father, and he has your answer. We have opinions and hope they help!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 here's another scripture:(Old Testament | Proverbs 5:19)19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.I know, everyone gets old, looks are not everything... but there is a certain responsibility in a marriage to make yourself presentable for your spouse... I mean you don't just let yourself go - part of the reason we come to Earth is to gain a body, and learn how to use it, this means keeping yourself physical fit, fasting - learning self-control... not taking it to extremes obviously (BMI should be above 18.5) but this body thing is part of what it is all about... joy can only be full when spirit + body are inseparably connected etc. etc. how Satan's minions are not able to have bodies and that is a horror to them... there is a difference between obsessing over cloths/makeup/hair/being modest vs. just trying to be physically fit / eating healthy food etc. etc. but then where is line between fixing crooked teeth - something that is good vs. something that is mutilating God's temple? and why is that people think nothing of fixing bad teeth (teeth that could be strong, and perfectly able to chew food) and yet for breast implants most consider it to be vain/horrid? where is the line...not that repulsive? considering that all some guys need is their hand, the ability to have kids does not mean you are beautiful...really, it's not just about being beautiful though - it's about being female - I want to be a female, not just 1/2 female... gender is such a huge thing within the church, different roles, different classes to go to - and part of gender identity is in physical attributes... I mean if a girl is rough/tuff/non-nurturing I think people in the church would ask her to change - to try and be more "motherly" soft/kind etc. etc. I feel a strong push to try and make myself more feminine... mostly this is what it is about - with or without his issues, I just want to be a female...I want to be female, but I want 'love' not 'lust' from my husband... I need to figure this out for my children - for my girls too, because they might be facing some of the same issues as me, and I need to know what is best to do... What I'm saying is, your husband married you because he loves you. You are 100% female. Breasts come in many shapes and sizes. I wouldn't call yours a physical abnormality. I think we all know sex is important in marriage.Anyway, this is a major decision and I still think counseling is the way to go. When people who struggle with body image go for one surgery, they tend to have multiple more surgeries when they still aren't happy. Many men struggle with pornography addiction long before they meet their wives and they think that once they have actual sex, they won't "need" the porn anymore. It's never true. Either they will realize they have a problem that is 100% their own, or they will delude themselves into thinking their wives are defective (which is not true). If he's telling himself your smaller breasts are the reason for continuing to turn to porn, you're only helping him lie to himself by going under the knife. There would only be one reason for you getting that surgery: You want it for yourself. Countless women have attempted to "be the porn" for their husbands and it is even more devastating when their best efforts result in dealing with a husband who is still addicted to porn no matter what they do - keep the house spotless, lose weight, get bigger breasts, make the best meals, give him plenty of guy time, or as one friend put it, become a Stepford Wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 I say to get the surgery if you want it. If iI were you, I'd want it. If you were my wife, I'd love you without it, but I'd want you to get it. Breasts are my favorite physical feature about a woman. As for size, I would suggest discussing it openly with your husband about what size you want and what size he would like most and try and find a size that is a nice compromise and makes you both satisfied. Yes, this is primarily for you and youre the one who has to carry them around so your opinion trumps, but if you can make both of you happy, why not. Guys tend to be picky about the breasts they like. Some like them small, some like them huge. Some think huge breasts look rather grose. Some like big areolas and some don't. If you haven't asked your husband exactly what he prefers best, you might as well. I'm sure he could tell you what in his mind is the ideal pair of breasts. It doesn't mean that's the only thing he wants, it's just our favorite. My wife doesn't have the ideal pair of breasts in my mind, but they're still great. I'm a B-cup kind of guy. We have talked about after having kids if hers get too big and saggy possibly getting them reduced back to what they are now, or even a little smaller. She's fine with the idea, actually, maybe she even proposed it. I can't remember. But we talked casually about it. I love her no matter what, but there's no harm in going crazy every time she takes off her shirt. I already do.Even if you're lacking enough flesh to stretch over a larger pair, they can do it in stages and let the skin grow and stretch in between. Ultimately you could be any size and shape that you wanted.i have to disagree with this. i do agree she should talk to her husband about the decision but not into this detail. for others that might be fine but in this situation he has a porn issue. i would imagine going into detail about "his ideal pair of breasts" would only open wounds for her where that porn addiction is concerned. that would increase her insecurities and esteem issues, not help them. especially if she decided to not go through with the surgery or for something different. i can "hear" the conversation now... "i went and got this surgery and it didn't fix anything" "well, you knew what i thought was the best and you went and did something different...." it doesn't get better from that point.in theory, if someone has been raised in the church and followed the law of chastity he shouldn't have seen that many breasts in that kind of detail to have a areola preference and what not. my husband and i have talked about my breasts, having nursed 5 babies they have changed a lot over the last 10 yrs. he has commented about the times he liked them best and what not but all comparing is done based on our history. he's compared me to me. i've had no issue with that, i compare too. some things don't change all that much and is specific to me (like the areola). to be honest if he were to comment on that in a comparative way it would concern me. i would honestly start wondering who he was comparing me to. he has been married before and i don't need that added insecurity in my life. a passing thought... is it possible he likes that you are flat? he may think you are beautiful and very different from the porn he looks at. keep himself in reality and seeing you as a person instead of the objectification that porn creates. if you had surgery would it change how he emotionally views you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hidden Posted March 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Thanks for all the comments everyone! on my way to the temple this morning, that always helps me get thoughts straightened out...a passing thought... is it possible he likes that you are flat? he may think you are beautiful and very different from the porn he looks at. keep himself in reality and seeing you as a person instead of the objectification that porn creates. if you had surgery would it change how he emotionally views you?I brought the whole breast thing up after he was unable to perform with me ... I thought he would be a little hesitant when I brought it up ... he seemed relieved/excited when I suggested it he did say it was my choice etc. etc. ... I agree, I don't want it to be about lust, but I want to be more than just his friend - more than just a sister - I want to be his wife, and I want to feel like a girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunkyTown Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) Thanks for all the comments everyone! on my way to the temple this morning, that always helps me get thoughts straightened out...I brought the whole breast thing up after he was unable to perform with me ... I thought he would be a little hesitant when I brought it up ... he seemed relieved/excited when I suggested it he did say it was my choice etc. etc. ... I agree, I don't want it to be about lust, but I want to be more than just his friend - more than just a sister - I want to be his wife, and I want to feel like a girl.Very important information here, hidden. Just to let you know - every guy will, at some point in his life, be unable to perform in bed. He might have been tired, sick, stressed from work or any one of a number or things that had nothing to do with you. Feelings that had been bubbling under the surface for you came up along with the attendant insecurities.When that happened, you naturally wanted to talk about why he couldn't perform. I guarantee you that was the wrong thing to do.You projected your insecurities on to him and assumed a perfectly normal event occurred due to your bust size. Then, you decided immediately afterward that talking about it was the right thing to do.Honestly - ask any guy: "if you were having a bout of impotence would you want to talk about it in bed?" And the answer will be, "What? No!"Then, when your hubbie was feeling like less of a man, you sprung a "would me getting bigger boobs have helped?" On him. He wasn't excited, hidden - he was relieved because he had an out.I think your hubby, wracked with guilt over porn, stressed over raising several kids(which always causes money problems) and probably facing stress at work and home, came home and had problems performing. Then, rather than face the true difficulties, you spoke to him when he was most vulnerable and in his mind gave him a choice between being less of a man or you getting a boob job. Is it any wonder he took the option that allowed his fragile male ego to be saved?If you want to get breast implants, that's fine. It won't fix issues of pornography or impotence, however.Give him a stress-free day, free of guilt. Dress sexy. Talk about your fantasies and his. Much more likely to resolve the impotence thing than getting breast implants. Edited March 15, 2011 by FunkyTown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) I am not against the surgery but I voted No on this one.This type of surgery should not be done to solve a self-esteem issue. That change has to come from within. It is like having a dependency on something fleeting. Because, although the surgery is going to make you look/feel "normal" in the meantime, it is the same as putting a band-aid over a festering wound. What happens if you get into an accident and lose your leg, burn half your face... or what happens when you get old, your hair turns gray and your wrinkles take over?Putting a band-aid on that kind of issue is even more damaging in my opinion. Because you get a false sense of security in the new look and would then rely on that to make you function.The change needs to happen in the Spirit. Not on the mortal body.And what's even worse is the thought that this same band-aid is going to make your husband feel better. This is not the solution - or even a solution - to the problem. When you marry a person, you take that person for what he/she is. Heart, body, and soul. You accept that your husband has a problem, your husband accepts that you have one too. The danger here is that you are thinking that changing something about you is going to help him with the addiction or impotence. What happens if it doesn't solve the problem? Are you then a failure? See... very dangerous train of thought that has the potential to get you on a worse place than you were before.My suggestion: Work on your self-esteem from within. Get professional help if you need to. Find people that will inspire you and accept you for everything that you are. Watch this video. This might help. YouTube - I Love Living Life. I Am Happy.Then after you conquer that mountain... you can think about surgery to put the cherry on the cake. You'll probably find you don't need it anymore. That's even awesome.We're here to support you! Edited March 15, 2011 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 i have to agree with those that have suggested counseling over surgery. you keep saying "i want to feel like a girl".... that emotion came way before marriage. the comments about your parents and not talking suggests to me that they never really addressed the issue between them and thus couldn't help you through it. before you expressed concern about how surgery would impact your kids.... i wonder how not addressing the real issue will impact your kids. if you deal with this then you will be able to talk to your daughter(s), help them cope if they have it. you can pass on a legacy of self esteem issues or you can pass on a legacy of self worth. but you can't pass on something you don't have. deal with your issues, for your daughter's sake if nothing else. be there for her how you wish your mom had been there for you. break the cycle, you don't want to pass this one on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hidden Posted March 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Give him a stress-free day, free of guilt. Dress sexy. Talk about your fantasies and his. Much more likely to resolve the impotence thing than getting breast implants.I do try to be good about making home stress-free for him (I'm a big fan of "http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520612" The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and other ideas like that as an example. I make sure the kids greet him at the door, thank him for his hard work - I'm not the best cook, but I try, and do have dinner on the table (even though I work evenings and it can be hard to shuffle it all - but we usually have dinner that I have cooked together) I let him have his "down time" on the computer watching netflix, or playing a game or something - I say "thank you" to him, and really do try to make home a heaven on earth for him because yes, he does have a stressful job - I've even told him he can quit his job, we can move somewhere cheaper, I don't need a bunch of $, I don't care where we live/work etc. etc. and I really don't...it's hard for me to "dress sexy"... we have swapped / talk about what we like etc. etc. but I do think it is awkward for him, as well as for me...ok, I now feel like I've been obsessing over this too much - I do want to thank everyone for their input, and I am going to try and work on that self-esteem thing.... but really how do you do that? I think in order to feel like you are worth something, you have to be worth something - so you have to go out and work, and create something worth while... I really do try to be a good mom and wife - I actually gave up quite a lot (a big career etc. etc.) to do the mom thing... try to do stuff for church, do lots of volunteer work, get involved in the community, politically active, etc. etc. I do some stuff for me too - reading/exercising/out with friends/music stuff.... I'm not sure what else to do, think positive thoughts I guess - compared to where I was, life is pretty good, I need to be more thankful for what I have... I guess I lived being insecure/hurt for so long, old habits die hard - I need to let some things go and redefine myself.... thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
findingmyway Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Maaan.... Youre definitely awesome and youre definitely worth a lot. Youre lucky. I would say yes, Youre a girl worth fighting for. Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Just reading what you do.....you're prolly worth more than me! No matter what, know you are worth it. I still think, that it won't make every better, but feeling good about your body helps. Just like anyone that has a deformaty. Like you said, it's like fixing teeth. I think getting the surgery is fine. I thik it wil help you heal. (Emotionally.) Won't do the whole thing, but it can be a boost. It won't fix your husband. But it can start you on your way to better self esteem, just like someone with a clef lip, or missing ear, same thing. You are not vain. You just want to feel like you are "Normal." I have a friend that had the opposite done. She just wanted to have a normal bust. It did help her, a lot. Bottom line, your choice. And again, you are worth it, wether you choose the surgery or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenamarie Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 I do try to be good about making home stress-free for him (I'm a big fan of "http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520612" The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and other ideas like that as an example. I make sure the kids greet him at the door, thank him for his hard work - I'm not the best cook, but I try, and do have dinner on the table (even though I work evenings and it can be hard to shuffle it all - but we usually have dinner that I have cooked together) I let him have his "down time" on the computer watching netflix, or playing a game or something - I say "thank you" to him, and really do try to make home a heaven on earth for him because yes, he does have a stressful job - I've even told him he can quit his job, we can move somewhere cheaper, I don't need a bunch of $, I don't care where we live/work etc. etc. and I really don't...it's hard for me to "dress sexy"... we have swapped / talk about what we like etc. etc. but I do think it is awkward for him, as well as for me...ok, I now feel like I've been obsessing over this too much - I do want to thank everyone for their input, and I am going to try and work on that self-esteem thing.... but really how do you do that? I think in order to feel like you are worth something, you have to be worth something - so you have to go out and work, and create something worth while... I really do try to be a good mom and wife - I actually gave up quite a lot (a big career etc. etc.) to do the mom thing... try to do stuff for church, do lots of volunteer work, get involved in the community, politically active, etc. etc. I do some stuff for me too - reading/exercising/out with friends/music stuff.... I'm not sure what else to do, think positive thoughts I guess - compared to where I was, life is pretty good, I need to be more thankful for what I have... I guess I lived being insecure/hurt for so long, old habits die hard - I need to let some things go and redefine myself.... thanks again!How can you do all the stuff you say you do in your first paragraph, and not see how it fulfills what you state in the second paragraph? You ARE creating something worthwhile! What a wonderful home you must have! What a lucky husband! What blessed kids!Your personal worth has NOTHING to do -NOTHING TO DO- with how much money you're worth. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. You are a wonderful woman because you are a child of a King. Daughter of the Most High. Heavenly Father wants SO MUCH for you. Jesus Christ laid down His life FOR YOU before you were even born. Before you'd even taken a single breath in this mortal sphere. He wanted to make sure He did everything within His power to guarentee you could be with Him and the Father in the eternities, enjoying Eternal Life together.YOU ARE SO LOVED! YOU ARE WORTHWHILE!And read this General Conference talk from Pres. Uctdorf. Creating worthwhile things is about a lot more than how big a paycheck what you do brings in.Happiness, Your Heritage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunkyTown Posted March 16, 2011 Report Share Posted March 16, 2011 Oh my gosh. You sound absolutely, one hundred percent amazing. Your husband is a lucky guy to have you. Never change. Except maybe the self-esteem bit. You sound like pretty much the perfect woman to be married to. :)I do try to be good about making home stress-free for him (I'm a big fan of "http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520612" The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and other ideas like that as an example. I make sure the kids greet him at the door, thank him for his hard work - I'm not the best cook, but I try, and do have dinner on the table (even though I work evenings and it can be hard to shuffle it all - but we usually have dinner that I have cooked together) I let him have his "down time" on the computer watching netflix, or playing a game or something - I say "thank you" to him, and really do try to make home a heaven on earth for him because yes, he does have a stressful job - I've even told him he can quit his job, we can move somewhere cheaper, I don't need a bunch of $, I don't care where we live/work etc. etc. and I really don't...it's hard for me to "dress sexy"... we have swapped / talk about what we like etc. etc. but I do think it is awkward for him, as well as for me...ok, I now feel like I've been obsessing over this too much - I do want to thank everyone for their input, and I am going to try and work on that self-esteem thing.... but really how do you do that? I think in order to feel like you are worth something, you have to be worth something - so you have to go out and work, and create something worth while... I really do try to be a good mom and wife - I actually gave up quite a lot (a big career etc. etc.) to do the mom thing... try to do stuff for church, do lots of volunteer work, get involved in the community, politically active, etc. etc. I do some stuff for me too - reading/exercising/out with friends/music stuff.... I'm not sure what else to do, think positive thoughts I guess - compared to where I was, life is pretty good, I need to be more thankful for what I have... I guess I lived being insecure/hurt for so long, old habits die hard - I need to let some things go and redefine myself.... thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted March 16, 2011 Report Share Posted March 16, 2011 How do you gain self worth? Please answer these questions (at least to yourself--you don't need to say anything here) truthfully. If your best girl friend or daughter came to you and said: "I am not worth anything! I'm nothing! I don't think I have anything of worth to show for myself. I do try, though. I work on being the best wife to my husband. I work on being a good mom. I work at being a good, faithful woman. I fail, though. I try, but I'm not perfect. I just don't see why I'm someone of worth or someone to love." How would you answer your daughter on that? Would you confirm her feelings? Would you tell her, "You are correct. You do not have any worth. You should go outside the home of your husband and children to show to others you have worth." Would you answer differently? How so? If you would never think to say that to your daughter, then why would you say those things to yourself? You need to be your own friend. If it's something you would never say to a friend or a daughter, then don't say or think it about yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hidden Posted May 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2011 I don't know if anyone remembers this thread, but I went out and did it - I now look normal, and it feels good to look normal. reading through some of the marriage threads, seeing why people break up, thinking about how fragile it can be - I thought if there was something more I could have done and I did not do it? I could never forgive myself.... is it superficial? vain? If your partner were 400 pounds overweight, or if ____________ fill in the blank.... we always say things like "focus on what is inside" and that is true, but there is definitely a physical part of us too - we are not just spiritual beings down here, we are spirit + body, only a spirit + body receives a fullness of joy... so far, it has made a difference - he has no issues performing with me anymore, we're together a lot more and that is nice. At times I think it wasn't that big of a deal was it? I don't feel that different - except I'm not so self-conscience anymore, I can stand up straight and not have to worry about anything... my body used to always be somewhere lurking in my thoughts, now I'm not embarrassed about it, so I don't think about it, I just feel normal, and that is good. I prayed about, I don't want to be vain/superficial - I said if the answer is "no, don't do it" then put up road blocks, lots of road blocks - but there were not any road blocks, somehow the money was there, schedule cleared up miraculously, friends willing to watch the kids, and I have healed faster than I am supposed to have healed... if I did not do it, part of me would always be fighting with the idea, so just do it and get it over with right? Only one friend, and my husband know, no one has looked strangely at me anymore, if anything I feel like less people take notice / look at me now, perhaps because I don't look strange anymore? but just look like a normal person? and that is nice. Anyways, not to influence anyone else to do this, not really too sure there are others out there who were like me? sometimes we beat ourselves up so much about not being vain etc. etc. ? I don't know... anyways, just an update, crazy as that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted May 6, 2011 Report Share Posted May 6, 2011 so far, it has made a difference - he has no issues performing with me anymore, we're together a lot more and that is nice.That's great, but a word of caution: you're still in the honeymoon phase. The results of the surgery are still very novel, and it's possible this behavior may not indicate long-term change. For your sake, I hope I'm wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RadDad Posted May 6, 2011 Report Share Posted May 6, 2011 congrats on the new chest. i hope it does what you expect. i will admit, however that the biggest red flag i saw in the original question was when you said that you wear goodwill clothes, no make up and do not dye your hair. i fully realize that these by themselves do not make the woman, but i think that shows an unhealthy desire to "look humble" you are married because you r hubby thought you a beautiful woman. i bet you always had a "do" and make up when you were courting. you need to feel beautiful. i think that would be helped with a little make up and hair dye if you prefer it. your hubby sees your face more hours a week then he does your chest. and you do too!!!...you brought it up,so i know you believe it. enjoy the implants, help your hubby with his problem, but do the right thing for yourself too....make up, hair and clothes are not too expensive....and yu afforded the implants...get a girl friend and go shopping!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
findingmyway Posted May 6, 2011 Report Share Posted May 6, 2011 Sweet.... I like it when people follow through and report. Please continue to be humble, as boobies dont bring eternal happiness. Theres still more work to be done, more issues to resolve. Im glad though, that I could see you smiling and happy just from reading your latest post. Compared to your original post which was a little sad. I hope that you remain happy and always continue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rex8499 Posted May 6, 2011 Report Share Posted May 6, 2011 Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted May 6, 2011 Report Share Posted May 6, 2011 Yayaya!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shdwlkr Posted May 7, 2011 Report Share Posted May 7, 2011 (edited) First get comfortable with yourself as you are now. Forget what your husband is or is not doing. We are talking about fixing you and yourself esteem. Second go and talk with a plastic surgeon that can show you before, immediately after and give you some people to talk to who have gone through this kind of reconstructive surgery. third find a good counselor to sit down with and discuss the upside, downside and most of all the neutral side of the surgery and what you expect it to do for you and not do for you. I am studying to be one and nothing is wrong and asking for advise and some direction on issues that are stressing anyone. Fourth and this is a big one find out for your size of woman what is the normal size for breasts. You don't need to be a huge breasted woman and carry all that weight around just to prove you have breasts. Fifth in case you don't realize it most of what we see as breast tissue is really fat tissue, yes I spent time studying this once when I was studying to be a nurse before my knees gave out. I know this from when my mother when I was in my early 20's I think it was had to have a mastectomy and yes I saw her chest soon after she came out of surgery and also found some things I didn't like and she had the surgeon fix them. Back then they didn't do reconstructive surgery, they didn't see how it affected the women, thank goodness they do now. In the house I grew up in nothing was a forbidden subject and we learned all about the human body, animal bodies and many other things my dad was a teacher and also could have been a counselor or engineer which he did do later. sixth nothing you do to yourself may change your husband's desire for pornography. yes he may lust after you because you suddenly have breasts he can enjoy but is that really what matters to you. Seventh get down on your knees and ask your father in heaven to help you see the true direction you should go and then accept and move on to bigger issues in life. eighth you were able to nurse your kids so you have all the right equipment right now even if you think there is something wrong there really isn't except what can be seen by others and quit frankly who really cares what others think anyway they are not you and you know deep down that you are a daughter of your living father in heaven and you are special to him way beyond anything you may even comprehend right now. Ninth what ever you decide make sure it is what you really want and then go for it. tenth yes I have seen good and bad cosmetic surgery results and sometimes one has to wonder if the before was really the better picture. eleventh if I were your husband your chest or breasts isn't what I saw or didn't see in you when I asked you to marry me. I personally look for a mind, good looks( and yes what I personally think is pretty many don't) and a personality that just won't quit. As we age everything changes. When I was younger I was almost 6'-4" and had a good looking body and weighted 265 so I didn't have to deal with many issues. Well fast forward a few decades I am now 6'-1 1/2 " lost that because I broke my back, have two messed up knees, broken ankle, arthritis in all my joints and weight 248 and look fat to me and there isn't a lot I can do about in the short term. But I am ok with me because I have lived a hard life and have the scares to prove it. What I am saying here is think long term when you think about changing yourself. There is an old saying and it goes like this everything goes south with age. Best of luck and do what you feel is the best for you no one else because no else has to live in your body or deal with your issues. Edited May 7, 2011 by shdwlkr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serenity123 Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 I am happy for you. I can tell by reading your post that you are so happy. Sounds like you made the right choice for you and I am glad that everything went smoothly. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RadDad Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 no serenity.....the problem was smooth....things went bumpy....wonderful bumps....no more smooth!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kopernis Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 thx for post.this forum has always come very interesting discussions ... I hope this will continue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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