Can I handle living in a high Mormon population area?

[NeuroTypical]

I like to remind people that the Federal Government once sent troops against the Utah mormons, but they've never had a problem with us out here in Colorado. :)

[Jennarator]

I hate the attitude of some parents that won't let their children play with non-LDS children.

I think that because my kids were in San Diego, they know what it's like to include all children when they play. I have a friend, non-member, that was telling me that her daughter crys because her school mates won't play with her since she is not a member. So sad!! My kids play with mostly non members. We try hard not to judge or anything. I can see how people raised with certian view points could have a hard time "in the field." To me it's not very different than the missionary companion I had that couldn't understand that I didn't have much money growing up. I felt very judged by her. I can see how people raised in one way can be judged by people raised different than them and visa versa.

I agree that kids that grow up in Idaho, AZ or UT can have issues, we can raise them not to as well.

[john doe]

I had the same worries about going to an LDS school. I miss non members. I miss being able to tell my friends and others about God. But, I love being in the "Mormon bubble". However, I'd never raise my kids in such an enviorment. I want them to gain a testimony and be challenged.

Yeah, I can't think of any Utah LDS kids who have testimonies or challenges. Well, except for the ones I've actually known.

[lizzy16]

I've met a few utah mormons and i've talked to them about it. All of them pretty much agreed with me that they want to raise there kids outside of the LDS bubble for the same reasons i do. Maybe it was just them though? :)

I didn't mean that utah teens don't have challenges and testimonies.

I met that they don't have to be the only on in the class to speak up and set an example.

[mirkwood]

I've lived in Indiana, Utah, Pennsylvania/Maryland/Delaware/New Jersey, California, and spent a great deal of time in Nevada and Arizona.

I've seen the best and worst in Mormons in each of those states. I see the exact same behavior everywhere I've gone.

Every once in a while when I'm in Arizona I get introduced, including that I'm from Utah. When I get the "oh you're a Utah Mormon" I immediately say, "yep, no different then an Arizona Mormon."

Utah is a wonderful state. I am happy I live here. I am happy that I moved back here and am raising my kids here. If life had put me in a different state, I would be happy that I lived there and was raising my kids there. Well, except one of those states, but that has nothing to do with Mormons and everything to do with the state political climate.

Mormons are Mormons anywhere you go.

I encourage the "oh you are a Utah Mormon" naysayers to grow up.

[Vort]

I didn't mean that utah teens don't have challenges and testimonies.

I met that they don't have to be the only on in the class to speak up and set an example.

Many times, I was the only Mormon in my class, and I had on occasion to speak up and set an example. Sometimes I didn't. I was, and am, ashamed. Perhaps it would have been easier for me to have had someone to help me be strong.

My Utah relatives assure me that there are plenty of times they have to be strong, speak up, set an example, and stand for the right, even when they stand alone.

[applepansy]

I've met a few utah mormons and i've talked to them about it. All of them pretty much agreed with me that they want to raise there kids outside of the LDS bubble for the same reasons i do. Maybe it was just them though? :)

I didn't mean that utah teens don't have challenges and testimonies.

I met that they don't have to be the only on in the class to speak up and set an example.

Lizzy sometimes they have to do exactly that. And its as hard as in a group of non-lds teens.

btw.... Many of the large population areas of Utah are not longer predominantly LDS. Especially not SLC... last I read it was less than 50%. It is likely to be in a classroom where there are fewer LDS kids than not.

[Backroads]

I've met a few utah mormons and i've talked to them about it. All of them pretty much agreed with me that they want to raise there kids outside of the LDS bubble for the same reasons i do. Maybe it was just them though? :)

I didn't mean that utah teens don't have challenges and testimonies.

I met that they don't have to be the only on in the class to speak up and set an example.

But you said the following in your first post:

I want them to gain a testimony and be challenged.

You never said anything about being the only one in the class. I hate to sound mean, but which is it? Do Utah Mormon teens have an easier testimony time all across the board or not?

I had a college roommate whose father hated me--even told me to my face--because I was a Utah Mormon. He said his kids, even the ones that left the Church, were better Mormons than me.

[Jennarator]

But you said the following in your first post:

You never said anything about being the only one in the class. I hate to sound mean, but which is it? Do Utah Mormon teens have an easier testimony time all across the board or not?

I had a college roommate whose father hated me--even told me to my face--because I was a Utah Mormon. He said his kids, even the ones that left the Church, were better Mormons than me.

How sad, and rude.

[Jenamarie]

As far as testimony challenges go, I actually think Utah Mormons are in a pretty rough spot. I mean, where you have a dense Mormon population, you're also going to have a dense Jack-Mormon population. In California, where I grew up as a minority, "It's against my religion" was a pretty quick way to get someone to stop pestering me to do something I didn't want to do. They might still look at me funny, and maybe think less of me, but the pressure would stop.

In Utah "It's against my religion" can often be met with "So? I know TONS of Mormons who do _____ anyway, and nothing bad has happened to them," OR, it's an actual Mormon who's presenting you with a temptation. Or, you know of lots of Mormon kids at your school who are doing ____ that is against the Gospel, and yet you see them Blessing the Sacrament, or giving a Talk in church on why such-and-such is an important part of the Gospel, when you KNOW that their personal actions are a complete 180 of what they're "preaching".

It's hard enough to stand alone among people who already don't share your beliefs. It's even harder, IMO, to stand alone among people who supposedly DO think/believe like you do, but then show themselves not to.

[Backroads]

How sad, and rude.

Needless to say my roommate didn't allow her dad over after that...

[dahlia]

If you arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there.

I've never arrived an hour late for anything, but I have arrived on time or a few minutes early and wondered if I had the right day/time because no one was around - not even those leading the event.

I can understand lateness on Sunday when, at least in my ward, most families have several little ones to get ready, but the activities are for adults - sometimes they can bring the kid(s) with them and the kids have on pajamas, so it's not like they had to get anyone dressed. Why the heck can't people arrive on time? Is it because a lot of Mormon women don't work and time is, shall we say, more fluid for them than it is for those of us who need to be on time in our daily lives? /ducks and runs

[mrmarklin]

Likely your problems if any are more cultural than religious. After all, people are people. I have a son in Idaho, and not letting your kids play with non-Mormons is a real thing (not for him). I have a hard time getting my head around that in a missionary church.

Some other things that are not religious but cultural that I have observed in my travels:

Slow driving in the "fast" lane and in general a lot of "bad" driving compared to where I live.

A rejection of birth control and common sense about family planning.

Many Mormons being "social" Mormons, and rolling with the flow but not having an actual testimony of the gospel.

Rejecting any R rated movie out of hand without even knowing that it may be appropriate anyway.

A certain amount of gullibility when doing business with Mormon authority figures.

Pressure on young women for early marraige.

But I will say that especially in Idaho where I travel frequently, people are more friendly than the average where I live. And that's a good thing!

Edited October 5, 2011 by mrmarklin

[Dravin]

I have a son in Idaho, and not letting your kids play with non-Mormons is a real thing (not for him). I have a hard time getting my head around that in a missionary church.

It comes from the simple counsel to be careful of who your friends are (mostly this counsel tends to be aimed at youth but it's more broadly applicable), make sure they respect and ideally share your values. The problem (IMHO) is some take that a little to stridently and turn it into "make sure they are Mormons." A case can be made for having Timmy hanging out unsupervised with the 14 year old who smokes, drinks, and tortures cats and squirrels for fun (regardless of religion), not to mention his penchant for spray painting, less so steering him clear of the kid who believes in the Trinity but otherwise shares values.

Though it's a tricky balance, we are to choose friends who are a good influence while also reaching out and influencing people for the better (and hopefully inviting them to a higher plane). I think some people have trouble balancing things out and the end result is family rules like, "Only Mormon friends."

At least that's my take on it.

Edited October 6, 2011 by Dravin

[Backroads]

I'll admit, my mother used to be one of those parents who were against us playing with non-Mormons, but as we went along in elementary school she realized how stupid the concept was. Perhaps it's just an ego-driven false memory, but I do remember asking "but aren't we supposed to be around people who do good things?" and I think that may have got her thinking.

[jerome1232]

I may be a bit late to the thread but I grew up in a small lds population, we were a tight knit group and supported each other. We had a "mormon" table in the cafeteria. My town was very small and VERY religious, so we had a spotlight of sorts on us and we knew it. Many friends from my home town I consider close friends to this day, even though we are states apart.

I think growing up in either small population or large population lds area's have their own set of unique challenges and boons. Living in a large population of lds may make it easier to just coast on by on the fence, but at the same time I believe those same fence sitters would be following the def facto herd were they in a low lds population.

Here we make fun of Utah mormons, but all in good humor, at least what I've heard. I would personally find being strict to the commandments more difficult if many around me was a so called "jack-mormon" rather than having only a few lds around me who mostly held to their values.

[Blocky]

Alright, you convinced me. Since I've always kind of marched to my own drum beat, I have a feeling I could handle Utah or Idaho. Luckily, I have plenty of time to decide and we get to choose which state we'd be heading to. Colorado and Texas are possibilities, too. If I could just find Idaho prices with West coast weather, I'd be in heaven.

[mirkwood]

Your experience will be whatever you make of it. Personally I'd choose Utah...but then I already admitted to my bias to this area. :)

[mrmarklin]

I'd pick Utah too, if I had to. Farther south!!!! Less bad weather.

We here in the PRK (People's Republik of Kalifornia) certainly do pay a lot for the privilege of living in very nice weather almost all year round. But it's a very good life for those of us who like to go outdoors in the winter.

Skiing is less than 3 hours from the sun as well, and this year they skiied past Memorial Day.