Hello!

[FlyAway]

My name is Sarah and I have been recently considering joining the Mormon Church. Missionaries came to my home last week and I went to the YSA this past Sunday and liked the feel of it very much. I guess I'm just here looking to see if anyone would be interested in having a new friend. I'm very interested in joining, I just fear that my family wouldn't understand, as they are all Baptist or Nondenominational and do not view the Mormon church with any weight.

I've been reading the Book of Mormon and besides the liberal use of the words 'And' and 'Yea' I like the message of it very much. I've not gotten far, but I am reading it.

Does anyone have any advice on how I could ease the subject or anything that may be of some help?

Thank you!

-Sarah

[bytebear]

I have found the best way to introduce your parents to the unfamiliarity of a group of people (the Mormons) is to have them meet some of them. As you familiarize yourself with the local church and make friends, have your parents meet them, and they won't feel so weird about it, because they will see you surrounded by good normal people.

[FlyAway]

The only problem with that is my mother, who I am primarily worried about, lives 300 miles away. I moved away about two years ago and live where I do now. So I'm sort of detached from my family, and I can only see them freaking out and over reacting about all this. /sigh

[FlyAway]

No one else with any words of wisdom? :/

[FlyAway]

My name is Sarah and I have been recently considering joining the Mormon Church. Missionaries came to my home last week and I went to the YSA this past Sunday and liked the feel of it very much. I guess I'm just here looking to see if anyone would be interested in having a new friend. I'm very interested in joining, I just fear that my family wouldn't understand, as they are all Baptist or Nondenominational and do not view the Mormon church with any weight.

I've been reading the Book of Mormon and besides the liberal use of the words 'And' and 'Yea' I like the message of it very much. I've not gotten far, but I am reading it.

Does anyone have any advice on how I could ease the subject or anything that may be of some help?

Thank you!

-Sarah

(I moved this from the Introduce Yourself forum because I only received one response. )

[Vort]

Hi, Sarah. This is a whole discussion list full of people who are happy to be your friends. Cyber-friends, that is, which isn't really the same thing as a flesh-and-blood IRL friend. But you are certainly welcome here.

Do you mean "ease the subject" of discussion about the LDS Church to your family? Or do you mean "ease the subject" of the Book of Mormon as you're reading it and trying to understand its sometimes-peculiar language? For the former, I don't really have a lot of suggestions, though others probably will. For the latter, I think really the main thing is you need to read the Book of Mormon several times to get a feel for it. If you have ever read an older English version of the Bible, such as the so-called King James Version, it's the same thing. You have to read a while before the language clicks. Kind of like how you have to read three or four chapters of Pride and Prejudice before the language flows naturally.

[Dravin]

The simplest way for some help if the language is giving you some difficulty would be to make use of something like the institute manuals ( Book of Mormon Manual - LDS Institute ) as the explanations of the doctrines will be in common speech (some of the older prophetic quotes may be a bit on the flowery side though). Alternatively ask here (or the missionaries) when you run into difficult language, just keep a notepad when you read and if you can't figure your way through a turn of phrase or get the gist but want a better understanding you can bring it up.

Edited November 29, 2011 by Dravin

[Forget-Me-Not]

No one else with any words of wisdom? :/

Hmmm... No words of wisdom coming yet, but I'm still smiling over seeking_peace posting, "Kiss her," in another thread and I'm having a little trouble changing tracks from romance to faith seeking.

Anyway, forgive me. I am curious to know if your family is generally accepting of family members seeking out the faith of their choice?

[Windseeker]

Hi FlyAway,

Welcome!

As far as easing the subject of your interest in the LDS Church with your parents. It's going to depend on your relationship with them. What caused you to investigate the Church in the first place? Was it curiosity, or maybe a friend?

You might want to be prepared for their questions. What do your parents know about the LDS Church? What are their fears regarding the LDS Church? If you anticipate their concerns and can answer their questions they will at least know you have done your homework and that this something you have researched and thought long and hard about.

You are obviously open minded and an independant thinker, is that something they encouraged?

[FlyAway]

I don't have a problem understanding the Book of Mormon, this thread was more so to ask for advice on introducing the LDS religion to my family. As I said, missionaries came to my home and they came by again today and answered a lot of my questions and also shared a lesson with me. I feel this is true and have decided to join the church but I'd like to finish the Book of Mormon first.

My parents did not encourage open minds frankly. I'll talk to my missionaries about speaking with my family. Thank you for your help!

[JudoMinja]

There are many instances where a difference of religious beliefs causes problems with family, and there are a number of people who have basically "lost" their families due to their beliefs- though I think as the world has become more and more open-minded this has become less of an issue of late. It is possible that your parents will react badly to your new-found faith, but there is little you can do about that. You know your parents best and will know better than anyone here what the best approach will be.

However, I am sure that as long as you first go to the Lord in prayer and strive to be understanding of whatever views or concerns they bring up that whatever their reaction, unless they are horribly close-minded and completely against the church, you should be able to maintain an open and loving relationship with them based on at least mutual understanding.

You cannot know what will happen without actually following-through and telling them. And who knows- there are also plenty of stories out there where whole families have been baptised thanks to one person's conversion. You may find your parents wanting to know more about your faith, and as they come to understand your belief they may share it.

[Blackmarch]

My name is Sarah and I have been recently considering joining the Mormon Church. Missionaries came to my home last week and I went to the YSA this past Sunday and liked the feel of it very much. I guess I'm just here looking to see if anyone would be interested in having a new friend. I'm very interested in joining, I just fear that my family wouldn't understand, as they are all Baptist or Nondenominational and do not view the Mormon church with any weight.

I've been reading the Book of Mormon and besides the liberal use of the words 'And' and 'Yea' I like the message of it very much. I've not gotten far, but I am reading it.

Does anyone have any advice on how I could ease the subject or anything that may be of some help?

Thank you!

-Sarah

(I moved this from the Introduce Yourself forum because I only received one response. )

welcome!

As you get answers to prayers, you can say that God is leading you in the direction you are going in, and that he is currently directing you to the book of mormon and the LDS Church. IF they press further you can ask them to respect it, and to also ask them to pray to have God guide you to waht is right.

[Blackmarch]

The only problem with that is my mother, who I am primarily worried about, lives 300 miles away. I moved away about two years ago and live where I do now. So I'm sort of detached from my family, and I can only see them freaking out and over reacting about all this. /sigh

Ya there prolly will be some freaking out but generally things don't go as bad as we imagine.

I'd probably say to someone i cared about who was having a negative reaction would be to wait and see how things turn out, and that i'm being inspired to go in this direction, and (if they are religious any) to ask them to pray for me.

[Windseeker]

There were a bunch of posts her yesterday and I responded but the posts are gone now. So I'm not sure what's going on but I forgot what I wrote...cause I'm a guy

[AGStacker]

Sarah - Good luck to you! The Mormon church is the Lord's true Church here on Earth!

My advice is to pray to Heavenly Father and ask that He could soften your parents' hearts so that they would receive your wishes with loving kindness. If that is out of the question you could pray for strength to be able to endure any persecution you think may come from them.

[Dr T]

Hello. Welcome to this site

[Dr T]

Hi Sarah. U got two from me on this :)

[maiku]

I don't have a problem understanding the Book of Mormon, this thread was more so to ask for advice on introducing the LDS religion to my family. As I said, missionaries came to my home and they came by again today and answered a lot of my questions and also shared a lesson with me. I feel this is true and have decided to join the church but I'd like to finish the Book of Mormon first.

My parents did not encourage open minds frankly. I'll talk to my missionaries about speaking with my family. Thank you for your help!

You can NEVER go wrong with expressing your true feelings.

My parents aren't members of the Church and years ago when I told them I was going to serve a mission they weren't pleased. Nevertheless, I just told them how I felt and that my mind was made up and then I listened to what they had to say.

I would suggest doing the same.

And one last thing, you might want to talk with your parents first before sending the missionaries.

[Forget-Me-Not]

There were a bunch of posts her yesterday and I responded but the posts are gone now. So I'm not sure what's going on but I forgot what I wrote...cause I'm a guy

Is it here?

http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/43813-hello.html

[beefche]

I merged the 2 threads.

[Sunday21]

Dear Flyaway,

I had this problem and I really stewed about it and ...Heavenly Father made the problem go away. When I had been a member for awhile my family came to visit. I had not mentioned my joining to them. I had a lot of Mormon artwork on the walls. My family stared at the pictures in horror and then ... shrugged and that was that! My family are militant athesists. Sometimes, if you walk forward and just focus on being obediant to the Lord, Heavenly Father reaches down and solves the problem for you! Best of luck!

[FunnySheila]

To those others on here who think that pretty much all parents will come around to it, not all do.

Mine didn't and haven't. They won't speak to me and have disowned me. They've told me that I'm dead to them, that my children aren't their grandchildren and they've gone around telling everyone that I've died, they've even told me that they wish I would die. I haven't tried visiting them because I know I would be literally be thrown off of their property or physically attacked. It is very painful for me. So no, not all parents come around to it and I think it is damaging to assume that to be the case.

I still believe honesty is the best option as long as it's safe, but that doesn't mean that they will accept you making that descision, because they won't necessarily. Most do come around to it, some take some time, and others (like my parents) are very unlikely to ever accept the fact that as adults we may be led a different path to them.

Personally, I wouldn't send missionaries around unless my parents agreed to it. My parent's would meet missionaries with a gun (they did so when I was a kid and JWs and Mormon missionaries would come a knocking - my dad would stand at the door with a rifle in his hands and tell them that he wanted them to F off - so they would always leave, hastily). So if I sent some missionaries to visit my parents, I'd be afraid for their safety.

I think sending in missionaries without your parent's agreement would be an affront to their pride and wouldn't be productive in getting them to see things from your point of view. Especially with traditional parents who value respect from their children highly, they often get obedience and submission to parental authority by adult children mixed up with respect, so in sending missionaries to speak with your parents without getting your parent's ok first, would be like waving a red flag in front a bull. But if once you speak with them and tell them that if they have any additional questions that they could ask a missionary and offer to organise for the missionaries to come around with you (or without you), and they are ok with that, then by all means.

It is hard because family is soooo important to most people - and if your parents refuse to communicate with you based on your religious descision, or are quite hostile towards you, it can be really painful and can leave you struggling. Especially the younger you are and closer you are to your parents. We all feel the need to have our parents approval, but we don't always get it.

So in short, keep researching and learning and let the Holy Spirit guide you. Don't contact them too early about this unless you feel strongly led by the Holy Spirit to do so. Do tell them, unless it is seriously dangerous to your personal safety, as although the consequences of honesty can be quite painful and damaging when another person can't accept you making your own choices regarding your spiritual life, it is still very, very important. Hopefully they will come around to it, love you despite the differences and let you be yourself, but if they don't, create family with friends. I've personally got my homies who support me and love me for who I am and who are like family to me (well they are my family because I haven't got anyone else).

I've got two surrogate mothers, five surrogate sisters, two surrogate dads, two surrogate brothers, and heaps of "cousins". It's taken time, lots of time to develop that sort of relationship with them all, but they are there for me, and me for them, and me and my children join in with their family activities etc... For example, on christmas day, I was invited by my surrogate sister to join her and her family for christmas lunch - IT WAS AWESOME!!! We ate lots of greasy food, and seeing as they are non-LDS, they drank beer and smoked cigarettes, but we listened to their old record player playing music from the 1940s,50s,and 60s, and me and my surrogate sister were in charge of being the DJS and danced away to it whilst the rest of them laughed at us - and my kids ran around like mad things with all the other kids. Not all my surrogate "family" are LDS neither, in fact more than half of them are non-LDS, but they love me despite the fact that I'm mormon (and most of my non-LDS friends are totally non-religious).

And on a last note, although the LDS church should be family for us, everyone brother and sister, it might not always feel that way. LDS members are human, they make mistakes, and we aren't always the loving people we should be. Fortunately for me, the members of the ward I'm in, rallied around me and it has become a loving home for both me and my kids, but it won't mean that it always will be or might be different if I moved to a different ward. But at the end of the day, our Heavenly Father will always be there for us, and will never abandon us even if we feel He has, and if we are close to Him, we will be comforted and loved even when our own families abandon us, or our church doesn't do what it's supposed to do.

I wish you the best, and hope it all goes well with telling them, and I hope and pray that they accept your decision.

Lots of love from the other corner of the globe - know that you are welcome to msg me any time, and you are in my prayers and thoughts. Xxx

From a FunnySheila

[jayanna]

My parents had a really really hard time when I joined the church. They were so worried about me, they had heard a lot of rumors. Well, it has been 11 years now, so...I have a husband now who joined the church and I've been raising by kids according to gospel principles and teaching them....and I like to think that it shows.

My folks have come to a couple of important events at church and my mom likes to do famiy history with me. They love my husband....we just don't talk about the gospel much at all

My hubby's family though, are really getting intrigued. His mom, especially asks questions all the time.

Every situation is different. But I do think that maybe at first they might be freaked out a little, but being nondenominational I would think would make them a bit more open-minded...