And how many people can you cram into a sealing room?

[applepansy]

Supposedly it would include her mom and dad, I assume. The girl is a RM, so I assume she knows something about the temple!

She may know about endowments but an RM won't know much about sealings. Her parents should though.

[beefche]

When I called the temple to reserve a room, I was asked what size room I needed. If I remember correctly the Bountiful temple has a 50 person room as the largest--at least that was the largest she mentioned to me.

The temple worker also stressed that I should choose a room that is bigger than I thought I'd need because if I had more people show up than what the room could accommodate, the guests would be turned away. The temples have to abide to fire codes like any other public building. They are not going to make an exception just because bride or mom or dad or whomever wants it.

[Backroads]

The temple worker also stressed that I should choose a room that is bigger than I thought I'd need because if I had more people show up than what the room could accommodate, the guests would be turned away. The temples have to abide to fire codes like any other public building. They are not going to make an exception just because bride or mom or dad or whomever wants it.

I actually wandered back to this site to ask that very question on this thread! I feel kind of bad, in this case, for the close (grandma!) family members who show up late so some random neighbors can watch the ceremony.

[beefche]

I'm being a completely nosy Nellie, but how did the groom react when his bride asked him to cut out from the 20 he invited (which I believe it still too many to invite to the sealing, but that's just my opinion)?

[Backroads]

I'm being a completely nosy Nellie, but how did the groom react when his bride asked him to cut out from the 20 he invited (which I believe it still too many to invite to the sealing, but that's just my opinion)?

I'll have to ask his mom. I got her reaction... she wasn't pleased.

I do recall a similar thing happening at my marriage, now that I think about it. My MiL had a lot of family to invite, though we kept it about 50/50. I invited some close aunts/uncles/cousins and the mutual friend who had originally set up my husband and I. My mom was panicked we would overwhelm the room, but not everyone showed up so we were less than full.

In this case, even if half of the 120 doesn't show, they're still overpacked.

What's interesting is how parents can get so involved. My mother has a circle of girlfriends who ALWAYS come to each others' kids' sealings. (Who is getting sealed here?)

[Jennarator]

I really think it is pretty rude to invite that many people and ask the other party to univite. I would put up a good stink.

[dahlia]

I have a question about sealing and the problems it can cause for less-actives or non-members. Do Mormons send out wedding invitations only to those who can come to the sealing, and then send announcements about the wedding, or an invitation to the reception to the rest?

I realize you would have to turn away those who can't come into the temple, but especially for non-Mormons, getting an invitation with the temple address on it would tell me that I was supposed to show up at the temple. How is this handled?

[Jenamarie]

I have a question about sealing and the problems it can cause for less-actives or non-members. Do Mormons send out wedding invitations only to those who can come to the sealing, and then send announcements about the wedding, or an invitation to the reception to the rest?

I realize you would have to turn away those who can't come into the temple, but especially for non-Mormons, getting an invitation with the temple address on it would tell me that I was supposed to show up at the temple. How is this handled?

LDS Wedding invitations are generally worded as a marriage announcement + invitation to the reception. So something like: "So and So and So and So announce the marriage of [bride and Groom] in the [Temple of their choice] on [wedding date]. The honor of your presence is requested at a Reception to be held in their honor. [time, date, and address listed]"

A smaller sized invitation is generally inserted along with that invitation to specifically invite someone to the Sealing, giving the time, date, and location.

[bytebear]

I have always seen it where a formal invitation is given to the reception in a traditional way. Then a small slip of paper is included with the temple invitation. In Mormon circles, you generally don't expect to be invited to the temple unless you are very close to the couple in some way (parents, siblings, grandparents and maybe cousins, friends, best man or brides maid), but not much beyond that. you'd be surprised how fast the list fills up.

Edited February 16, 2012 by bytebear

[Backroads]

Further news:

Apparently, according to his mom (my co-worker), the groom has had it up to a pretty high place with all the wedding drama. He still loves his girl.

It seems, however, the father was just as much as part of the invitation problem as the girl. According to my co-worker, the father of the bride is the type that thinks the world revolves around him and even apparently said "I'm paying for this wedding, the temple will just have to accomadate me".

I guess I'm left wondering if it's the girl or the father that is impacting this the most. I sure would like to meet these people.

Edited February 16, 2012 by Backroads

[Gwen]

If it's the father I wish the groom luck.... that kind of thing will never end. He needs to sit down with the bride and have a long talk about the boundaries. If they are on the same page they had better step up right now and make sure dad understands them, it will only get harder after the wedding.

[HEthePrimate]

I'm asking about this because of a co-worker's situation. Her eldest son is getting married, the reserved sealing room holds about 50 people, according to what she said. She, her husband, and son invited less than 20 people to the sealing. Two days ago, the bride informs everyone she and her family have invited 120 people to the sealing and would the groom's family please cull their list?

My own sealing is over and done with, but I'm a little curious to the various views on just who comes to the sealing... as co-worker doesn't understand why she has to uninvite family.

That's just stupid. Your family is filling less than half the room's capacity as it is. You should not have to cull anybody at all from your list. What makes them think they're more important than your family? Tell them to back off--they're being selfish, and don't have a leg to stand on! (You may want to be more diplomatic than that, obviously, but be firm. Don't want to set a precedent.)

Good luck!

Edited February 16, 2012 by pam
profanity not acceptable

[NadiaStar]

My suggestion to your co-worker and the groom, at this point, is to secretly tell their people to come significantly early and get a seat. The temple patrons really will only let so many people in.

[HEthePrimate]

My suggestion to your co-worker and the groom, at this point, is to secretly tell their people to come significantly early and get a seat. The temple patrons really will only let so many people in.

Good one, NadiaStar!

[Vort]

My suggestion to your co-worker and the groom, at this point, is to secretly tell their people to come significantly early and get a seat. The temple patrons really will only let so many people in.

Won't work. People are not seated in a sealing room as they come. Rather, everyone congregates in a waiting area, and when it's time for the sealing, the group is escorted to the sealing room en masse.

[Backroads]

Won't work. People are not seated in a sealing room as they come. Rather, everyone congregates in a waiting area, and when it's time for the sealing, the group is escorted to the sealing room en masse.

Very true. So first come, first serve, won't work.

How would the temple patrons pick which 50 out of the potentially 140 people to let in?

[Jennarator]

In Twin Falls, they just give the first however many people that show up a card. Then those that get a card, get in.

[Backroads]

So maybe Nadia's idea does have merit...

[Just_A_Guy]

Won't work. People are not seated in a sealing room as they come. Rather, everyone congregates in a waiting area, and when it's time for the sealing, the group is escorted to the sealing room en masse.

Unless you do a "white wedding" where everyone goes straight from an endowment session into the sealing room. (I understand they're generally discouraged now, but I attended one in the DC Temple a couple of years ago.)

[Maureen]

Unless you do a "white wedding" where everyone goes straight from an endowment session into the sealing room. (I understand they're generally discouraged now, but I attended one in the DC Temple a couple of years ago.)

Was this way the norm twenty or so years ago? And also, when you say temple patrons, are you referring to the guests/members or the temple workers?

M.

[Dravin]

Was this way the norm twenty or so years ago? And also, when you say temple patrons, are you referring to the guests/members or the temple workers?

M.

Temple patrons would be the guests/members attending the temple to participate in ordinances. I've never thought of the source of the term before, not sure if it's connected to folks being benefactors/helpers to those who are on the other side or the sense of how one might patron an establishment (library patrons).*ponders*

Edited February 16, 2012 by Dravin

[Just_A_Guy]

Yeah, usually "patrons" are the visitors and "workers" are the . . . well . . . staff, I guess you'd say.

I don't know if white weddings were ever "the norm", but I know several older Mormon couples who had one. My memory is a little hazy, but it seems to me that at one point the Church leadership circulated a letter asking people to arranging white weddings because it created logistical complications for the temple staff--particularly in busier temples.

[Vort]

Unless you do a "white wedding" where everyone goes straight from an endowment session into the sealing room. (I understand they're generally discouraged now, but I attended one in the DC Temple a couple of years ago.)

Which amounts to the same thing, since everyone would be escored from the celestial room to the sealing room more or less simultaneously.

Btw, the "white weddings" I'm familiar with don't necessarily involve everyone doing a session. Rather, everyone wears his or her temple whites (not the ceremonial garb). I seem to recall at least one time when a temple wanted everyone to dress in white for sealings, and other times where temples discouraged the practice.

[pam]

Unless you do a "white wedding" where everyone goes straight from an endowment session into the sealing room. (I understand they're generally discouraged now, but I attended one in the DC Temple a couple of years ago.)

Thanks JAG. Now I can't get Billy Idol out of my head.

[Guest]

No more white weddings in the Boise temple. It's also kind of first-come, first-serve in that those who come first usually sit at the front of the chapel and it fills in to the back. When they take you back to the sealing room, it's starting with the front row.

This whole situation is appalling to me. Maybe it's my own past IL issues, but I'm totally twitchy thinking about the posturing power trip stuff going on. Groom needs to stand for himself and his family now, lest he be the rug his FIL cleans his boots on for the rest of his life.