Inactive Members and Visiting/Home Teachers

[MarginOfError]

When I was Exec Secretary, the bishopric went out to contact all the "Do not contact" people. These are folks ticked off enough to yell at you for knocking on their door, but not ticked off enough to mail a letter somewhere, so they stay on the rolls.

I recall a few years ago trying to explain to a friend about mailing the letter to get off the lists. She was all up for ranting on Facebook about it, but admitted she couldn't be bothered to go about it officially. Sigh.

These are the people I encouraged my bishop to go visit with a pen, paper, and a letter explaining the process and ask them to write their letter on the spot.

[annewandering]

These are the people I encouraged my bishop to go visit with a pen, paper, and a letter explaining the process and ask them to write their letter on the spot.

I dont know. If they are still willing to keep their names on the rolls then maybe there is something inside of them that wants to maintain at least that small tie. Why should we encourage them to break it?

[MarginOfError]

One guy offered one of our members $1,000 to get his name off the records.

One member hand returned an invitation addressed to his mother (we weren't notified of his move) to a Relief Society presidency member and asked that it never happen again.

After

• Having been responsible for keeping track of who did and did not want to be contacted
• Having to take reports from well meaning missionaries and presidencies who went to visit these people they didn't know (If you had asked me, I'd have told you what we know about them!), and
• Having been yelled at multiple times by members who had told countless sets of missionaries to stop coming by their homes, only to be marked on records as "inactive"

I've just become jaded enough that I think if people want to have their names removed, they should have them removed. It's the only way to ensure that they won't continue to be contacted against their wishes and it's the only way to stop well-meaning members from wasting time reaching out to people that don't want our outreach*.

* And yes, I understand that 1 in 1,000 such cases (probably less actually), might be touched and return. I think we'd contact at least as many and probably more by establishing better relationships with the communities in which we live. I think we'd be better off focusing our time elsewhere.

[Dravin]

Having to take reports from well meaning missionaries and presidencies who went to visit these people they didn't know (If you had asked me, I'd have told you what we know about them!)

Not that them being aware they were DNC would necessarily help. I had companions on my mission who liked to suggest, "Hey, let's hit up the Do Not Contacts!'

[Blackmarch]

This morning I heard a rumor that if you are inactive, it is against church policy to send you a visiting and/or home teacher.

that's not policy, at least not churchwide policy. And that had better not be any ward policy.

Now if someone has requested to not have visiting/hometeachers, or missionaries come by that's a different story.

[Iggy]

We had one sister that the VT Companions would not visit. They felt that the company she had in her home was dangerous.

As far as I know, the RS President told the Branch President about it, he told her son-in-law and grandson and the situation has been cleaned up.

From reading the local newspaper, the company got arrested for possession and selling drugs. One was tossed back into prison for parole violation (weapons). The poor woman is senile, and her youngest sisters children are bad, bad news. For the time being her VTeachers are the RS Presidency and her HTeachers are the Branch Presidency.

The one really good thing to come of this, is her SIL is paying closer attention to her, and the Grandson has come back into activity and is also visiting her much more often.

[annewandering]

People keep forgetting that inactive does not mean does not mean disbelieving or fallen away. I find it very difficult to believe how hard hearted people can be about this.

If there arent enough active members to do the callings then its time to find out WHY there are so many inactive. You dont solve the problem by ignoring people. 1 in a 1000 my foot. Maybe they dont come BECAUSE no one cares. Ya I know. That should not affect people with a testimony but it does. It is hard to go into hostile country to worship God and have a good spiritual experience.

[JudoMinja]

My most recent ward, previous to the one I attend now, was one where they were hard pressed to assign enough visiting teachers to everyone. Our Relief Society president put the priority mostly on the weak and inactive members, assigning visiting teachers to those she felt were more in need of help than those more active and with a strong testimony. While I would have liked having a visiting teacher and probably could have used a bit of help from a nice sister in the ward interested in my welfare, I was not assigned a visiting teacher.

I was, however, called as a visiting teaching supervisor in that ward, and it was probably the most difficult calling I've had. I had about 50 sisters (25 companionships) to check in on every month. NONE of them would call me to report their visiting teaching. I would have to call/contact them, and most of them I had to contact several times over only to find out they had not done their visiting teaching.

I prayed and prayed and tried my hardest to find ways to encourage these sisters to do their visiting teaching and get more involved in the work, but it felt like nothing I did got through to them. It is very disheartening when you see almost an entire ward struggling like this- most of the sisters attending were too caught up in themselves and uninterested in reaching out to others, and the rest were either getting burnt out trying to extend compassion and service to everyone they could or had become inactive due to the lack of love and charity in the ward.

I know I haven't always done the best with my own visiting teaching, and it can be difficult to reach out to those you don't know to show them you really DO care and want to help, and I certainly didn't want to focus on the mote's in the eyes of my fellow ward members when I needed to take the beam out of my own, but it was hard. I know it must have been even harder for that Relief Society President to trouble shoot and figure out where visiting teachers were most needed, where they could do the most good. Certainly, we don't want to cut anyone off, for the worth of every individual soul is great- but when a leader is struggling with so many in the ward unwilling to do their part... it must have been heart wrenching to have to make those judgement calls.

I'm sure those hard working leaders and individuals who truly care would love to reach out to everyone and help all the members of the ward, if only they had the capacity to do so. I could truly sympathize with Alma, as he said "O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!" (Alma 29:1). But alas, we are also mortal and can only do so much. We need to diligently take upon ourselves the work we have been called to do and reach out to those we can, but we can only reach so far.

I can understand why many go inactive feeling as though nobody cares. I understand that even someone with a strong testimony of the gospel might struggle with attending church if no sign of love and compassion is extended to them. But we have no control over our fellow members. We only have control over ourselves. Instead of expecting others to serve us, we need to reach out in service to others. I am sure that those sisters who were so unwilling to do their visiting teaching probably felt the same as those who had gone inactive- that nobody cared.

Instead of expecting others to care, I propose that we each need to look inward and determine how much WE care. Then act on it. The field is white and ready to harvest in more ways than just missionary work. There are many in need of our love, devotion, and service, and there are few who are taking up their sicles to reap and do the work. When we feel burnt out, we need to turn to the Lord for our strength and continue with all diligence to do all that we can. If our efforts can bring a change of heart to just one soul, one person, it will all be worth it.

[annewandering]

Absolutely, JudoMinja. I have been in two wards that were very difficult. One of them finally was absorbed into another ward. The other used to be the stake center and had two wards in the building. They had to combine the wards and even that did not work. The stake center was moved to Lake Havasue. It was very depressing. One of the differences between ward and branch is if there are active members to sustain the ward. If not then it has to be a branch and if a ward does not keep up activity it will be dropped down. I doubt that happens often but it does happen.

[MarginOfError]

People keep forgetting that inactive does not mean does not mean disbelieving or fallen away. I find it very difficult to believe how hard hearted people can be about this.

If there arent enough active members to do the callings then its time to find out WHY there are so many inactive. You dont solve the problem by ignoring people. 1 in a 1000 my foot. Maybe they dont come BECAUSE no one cares. Ya I know. That should not affect people with a testimony but it does. It is hard to go into hostile country to worship God and have a good spiritual experience.

I think you misunderstand the people I have in mind when I say the 1 in 1,000. The people I've encouraged the bishop to press for letters are the ones who repeatedly and consistently demand not to be contacted by the Church. In my ward, there are six such families. One is the man who offered $1,000 to someone to have his name removed, and another is the one who hand returned the RS invitation. There is a family that consistently yells at anyone who shows up at the door, and a sister who has joined another congregation and no longer wants to be affiliated with the Church. The other two I've actually never pressed for letters because they explicitly stated that they didn't want their names removed out of respect of their parents, but would like to be left alone.

Beyond these individuals, most of the less active members have been approached, some have accepted home teachers, and the rest we actually can't find, but the Church insists that they live at the address listed.

To call me or anyone else hard-hearted because we want to respect people's multiply-repeated wishes seems a bit nutso.

[Yehshen]

So, I am a new visiting teacher. I visit 3 active sisters, and one house that is inactive. They don't (supposedly mom and 2 adult daughters) come to church; but moreover, they don't agee to home visits, don't take phone calls, but supposedly have said that they enjoy letters. So, I write letters every month, but really don't know what to say. Anyone have any suggestions/insight?

[JudoMinja]

So, I am a new visiting teacher. I visit 3 active sisters, and one house that is inactive. They don't (supposedly mom and 2 adult daughters) come to church; but moreover, they don't agee to home visits, don't take phone calls, but supposedly have said that they enjoy letters. So, I write letters every month, but really don't know what to say. Anyone have any suggestions/insight?

You could share your testimony or your thoughts pertaining to the monthly VT message. If you feel more open to sharing things about yourself when you write, you could also share any particularly uplifting experiences you had that month or a hardship you feel the Savior helped you overcome.

I have had a few sisters on my routes before that prefered letters, and I would just try to think of what I would like to receive if someone was writing to me. Something heart-felt and personal is always a blessing. Seek revelation from the Spirit- that whatever you write will be inspired and will be of particular help or interest to the sister to whom your writing. Sometimes, when I've done this, I've found myself writing about something I never would have thought to write on my own.

[Guest DeborahC]

A lady in my current Ward was extremely inactive for many years.

Her visiting teacher never gave up, visiting when possible, sending notes when not, calling when she could just to say, "I'm thinking about you."

The inactive member is now our Relief Society President.

I also have been blessed by visiting teachers, even when I wasn't ready to return to church.

I hope people won't give up on their visiting teaching.

Also, it seems if you are not getting visits, all it would take would be a phone call or two to get that fixed?

[bytor2112]

A lady in my current Ward was extremely inactive for many years.

Her visiting teacher never gave up, visiting when possible, sending notes when not, calling when she could just to say, "I'm thinking about you."

The inactive member is now our Relief Society President.

I also have been blessed by visiting teachers, even when I wasn't ready to return to church.

I hope people won't give up on their visiting teaching.

Also, it seems if you are not getting visits, all it would take would be a phone call or two to get that fixed?

I was inactive for 19 years....now I'm the EQP.

[Vort]

A lady in my current Ward was extremely inactive for many years.

Her visiting teacher never gave up, visiting when possible, sending notes when not, calling when she could just to say, "I'm thinking about you."

The inactive member is now our Relief Society President.

I was inactive for 19 years....now I'm the EQP.

I have been active all my life. My attendance rate has always been close to 100%, and I doubt there has ever been a two-month period where I have not attended Church meetings more than half the time. I have always paid my tithing. Always. I have almost always held a temple recommend, excepting only short periods where I let it lapse. And I have never turned down a Church calling of any sort.

I have never been a quorum or auxiliary leader (except in my Aaronic Priesthood quorums). I doubt I ever will be. Even on my mission, I never held any position "above" that of senior companion and district leader.

Based on my experience and what I have heard trusted Church leaders preach, it is my opinion that holding Church leadership positions is not a reliable shibboleth of fidelity to Church principles. I fully realize that even General Conference speakers commonly use Church leadership position callings as a way to illustrate righteousness. My only response is that I do not believe it is any such thing.

But if it is, that answers a lot of my questions about my own spiritual status...

[estradling75]

I was inactive for 19 years....now I'm the EQP.

Excellent and now that you are an Elder Quorum President... are you one of those privileged few that have enough active and dutiful elders to fulfill all the Home Teaching assignments every month? So that all your active and less active member get a visit? (I hear such wards exist but I have never seen one.)

Or do you find yourself needing to make hard choices on who is going to get visited, because you know that some of your elders simply will not fulfill their assignments?

[bytor2112]

The Elders quorum has about 94 assigned families, that include 50+ prospective Elder's, active and inactive as well as Aaronic Priesthood (deacons, teachers and Priest youth). All are assigned and we strive to visit everyone. We have our share of those hostile to the church...I have assigned all of those to myself. We have a faithful Quorum....around 25 active brethren, so we do our best.

I should note, that our average Sacrament attendance is 178 and our Ward has nearly 600 members.

[bytor2112]

I have been active all my life. My attendance rate has always been close to 100%, and I doubt there has ever been a two-month period where I have not attended Church meetings more than half the time. I have always paid my tithing. Always. I have almost always held a temple recommend, excepting only short periods where I let it lapse. And I have never turned down a Church calling of any sort.

I have never been a quorum or auxiliary leader (except in my Aaronic Priesthood quorums). I doubt I ever will be. Even on my mission, I never held any position "above" that of senior companion and district leader.

Based on my experience and what I have heard trusted Church leaders preach, it is my opinion that holding Church leadership positions is not a reliable shibboleth of fidelity to Church principles. I fully realize that even General Conference speakers commonly use Church leadership position callings as a way to illustrate righteousness. My only response is that I do not believe it is any such thing.

But if it is, that answers a lot of my questions about my own spiritual status...

So,uh, what are you trying to say Vort? :) FWIW....I don't consider myself any more righteous than the brethren I have been called to shepherd. I am a very slow work in progress and am very certain that our Heavenly Father has Eternal patience for HE must to wait upon the slow and dull likes of Bytor.

That said....I am a MIRACLE of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Truly a healed and mended soul that was so very broken and so very far removed from anything that could be fittingly called righteous or worthy. I have a great understanding of the infinite Love and Mercy of the Lord....because I have so been blessed to be changed by it.

Edited April 4, 2012 by bytor2112

[Avrham]

Hello

this reminds me that the only thing that I or anyone can do is pray for all the inactives and especially for active members on there list all the works and programs will fall short if this basic principal is not adhered too

the Lord prepares the people becuase he knows their situation and thats why prayer is the only answer when someone once asked me how do you achieve 100%HT I had too laugh becuase I said ''is there such a thing of achieving 100% but one can only do his/her best effort' , When I was EQ Pres one of the strong emphasis or goals was too increase each members testimony'of the Gospel especially regarding HT a little bit of faith moves mountains according too scriptures

forgive me if this sounds like gospel 101 or insulting because I assume most are doing these anyway

just a nice reminder for myself from a supposedly inactive member:)

[annewandering]

I have been active all my life. My attendance rate has always been close to 100%, and I doubt there has ever been a two-month period where I have not attended Church meetings more than half the time. I have always paid my tithing. Always. I have almost always held a temple recommend, excepting only short periods where I let it lapse. And I have never turned down a Church calling of any sort.

I have never been a quorum or auxiliary leader (except in my Aaronic Priesthood quorums). I doubt I ever will be. Even on my mission, I never held any position "above" that of senior companion and district leader.

Based on my experience and what I have heard trusted Church leaders preach, it is my opinion that holding Church leadership positions is not a reliable shibboleth of fidelity to Church principles. I fully realize that even General Conference speakers commonly use Church leadership position callings as a way to illustrate righteousness. My only response is that I do not believe it is any such thing.

But if it is, that answers a lot of my questions about my own spiritual status...

Thanks for this post, Vort. Sometimes I have felt that my husband and I were being shunned even though we did all we were supposed to do yet we have held very few jobs in the church. We never got asked to even give prayers. Neither of us would ever turn down a calling. I guess we just fade into the woodwork. Apparently this is one of those trials for us. lol.

[mnn727]

This morning I heard a rumor that if you are inactive, it is against church policy to send you a visiting and/or home teacher.

no, in fact those are the people who need HT/VT the most.

[Vort]

Thanks for this post, Vort. Sometimes I have felt that my husband and I were being shunned even though we did all we were supposed to do yet we have held very few jobs in the church. We never got asked to even give prayers. Neither of us would ever turn down a calling. I guess we just fade into the woodwork. Apparently this is one of those trials for us. lol.

anne, I suggest it's not a trial unless we make it one. I admire and respect my bishop, as I have the bishops before (only for the first time, my bishop is younger than I am). I do not begrudge him his duties. I would not want them. I would (probably) accept them if asked, but I would not do a very good job -- certainly not as good as he does.

In the oceanic voyage that is life, we are aboard the good ship Gospel. Everyone on board is part of the crew and keeps her running. One group looks to the heavens to steer the ship by the stars and the Son. Some shovel coal, some swab decks, some scrape barnacles. I have been asked to sun myself on deck and, occasionally, go help out serving food in the galley. It's a sweet situation, and I can't really complain. Sometimes I do look at my fellow crew members bustling about with their duties, and I wonder if I could do their jobs. But I serve where asked, and so far my service consists primarily of testing out the lounge chairs.

[estradling75]

anne, I suggest it's not a trial unless we make it one. I admire and respect my bishop, as I have the bishops before (only for the first time, my bishop is younger than I am). I do not begrudge him his duties. I would not want them. I would (probably) accept them if asked, but I would not do a very good job -- certainly not as good as he does.

In the oceanic voyage that is life, we are aboard the good ship Gospel. Everyone on board is part of the crew and keeps her running. One group looks to the heavens to steer the ship by the stars and the Son. Some shovel coal, some swab decks, some scrape barnacles. I have been asked to sun myself on deck and, occasionally, go help out serving food in the galley. It's a sweet situation, and I can't really complain. Sometimes I do look at my fellow crew members bustling about with their duties, and I wonder if I could do their jobs. But I serve where asked, and so far my service consists primarily of testing out the lounge chairs.

There is also a very real possibly that leadership is someones 'refining fire.' Just like we shouldn't judge someone because they sin differently then we do.. We also shouldn't judge people because the Lord uses a different 'Refiner's Fire' on them then he uses on us.

[Guest]

So, I am a new visiting teacher. I visit 3 active sisters, and one house that is inactive. They don't (supposedly mom and 2 adult daughters) come to church; but moreover, they don't agee to home visits, don't take phone calls, but supposedly have said that they enjoy letters. So, I write letters every month, but really don't know what to say. Anyone have any suggestions/insight?

Yehshen, I had one of these sisters a few months back. I've found this site very helpful:

Visiting Teaching

They usually have a free downloadable postcard for the "message of the month". I would download it, print it on my handy-dandy color printer (sometimes I use photo paper if it is sized right), stick a piece of candy or a bookmark or one of those little cards the missionaries hand out and write a sentence or two usually just to say "I really love this month's message" or "I'm thinking of you" or "This quote from Pres. Monson made me think of...". I mean, just those kinds of things.

Sometimes, I make a one of those scrapbook pages using the postcard that has the VT message and some pictures from a ward activity (like when we collected food for the food bank) or from an RS home-making meeting (like when we made some tie-quilts) and send the scrapbook page.

I had fun making them. Not sure if she even bothered to open the envelope. For all I know she saw it was from me... again... and promptly threw it in the trash. LOL! But, it's okay, I'm kinda wierd because I actually enjoying thinking about the people on my list. And because I volunteered to do this, my VT companion volunteered to prepare the VT lessons for the ones that we do visit. So, I think I got the easier task. :)

[Sunday21]

Hi! In my area inactive members have priority over active members for VT'ing