Sharkbait_ Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Another topic on my mind.. My sister is 21 years old and has been dating Missionary for about 5 years. He is a year younger and left on his mission last December. However, about a month ago. He came home. He is home for personal reasons that have nothing to do with my sister. However, it is a matter of worthiness and he is home for a year. The percentage of missionaries going back out after a year is extremely low. The problem is that he and my sister have picked up like he never left. They are back to dating and kissing and everything and this was after he had been home for a day. I don't feel like is appropriate. I feel like he should be avoiding serious relationships if he has any desire to go back out. I don't want to judge him or my sister, but the whole situation is a little uncomfortable. She needed that time away from him and he needed that time to grow up. Any words of wisdom? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Unfortunately as much as you care about your sister, this is their decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 You can give your sister advice if you like, but ultimately, this is her life. So yes, another one to scratch off your "things to worry about" list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharkbait_ Posted September 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 I know it's her life and I'm letting her do as she pleases. But does anyone else think it's a little odd? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 I know it's her life and I'm letting her do as she pleases. But does anyone else think it's a little odd?No.You know how the saying goes, "Love is blind". I disagree with that saying. I believe that "Love has an extra-sensory perception that sees the good in every person".In any case, "odd" is a relative term. What may be odd for you is completely normal for others. We are not to judge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Any words of wisdom?Stay out of other people's love lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 I know it's her life and I'm letting her do as she pleases. But does anyone else think it's a little odd?"Unfortunate" would be the word I would use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 I already gave a rant on what I thought about the homecoming.I've actually come to peace with it and decided I will support them no matter whether he goes back on his mission or they get engaged or whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Ohhh. .. I just did some math. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Ohhh. .. I just did some math.And your mathematical results? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMGuy Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Interesting that if he would have lied about his worthiness went through the motions, returned after two years and they picked up where they left off most people would have been perfectly fine with that. So instead we judge the individual that decides to be honest? Help me understand the logic in that please? -RM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 If only we had that music-and-dance talent.Sadly, I only deduced it by the Screenname and the nature of the posts. And confirmed with a text message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Interesting that if he would have lied about his worthiness went through the motions, returned after two years and they picked up where they left off most people would have been perfectly fine with that. So instead we judge the individual that decides to be honest? Help me understand the logic in that please?-RMI don't think it's so much as "bad sinful missionary" as "shouldn't you be focusing on returning to the mission if that's what you claim to want to do?"We often advice pre-missionaries to avoid serious relationships just prior to service. How is this much different? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Interesting that if he would have lied about his worthiness went through the motions, returned after two years and they picked up where they left off most people would have been perfectly fine with that. So instead we judge the individual that decides to be honest? Help me understand the logic in that please?The logic is as follows: He claims he wants to return to his mission and honorably finish the duty he was assigned. If this is true, he should act like it. Playing kissy-facey with his girlfriend is not in accordance with the actions of someone trying to get his missionary service on track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anddenex Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Any words of wisdom?Yes, I find this, personally, very odd. I am concerned for your sister if she has not found out why he came home early.Coming home early, though not always, and having to wait a year is usually the result of chastity issues either before the mission or during. If these issues didn't involve your sister, then you definitely have need to worry.My sister was dating an young man who was nothing of the type of man she would have been happy with. Albeit, he was a good man, but being a good man doesn't make a person compatible with another person.He would bad mouth my sister to his family, and my sister was under the delusion that things would disappear if they were married. You bet I stood in the way of this relationship, while allowing her free agency. If she made the choice to marry this man, then I would have accepted it and befriended him. As a sibling, as a brother, I have every right to share my thoughts and opinions boldly with her, and I did.I don't really care if other people thought this was right or wrong. I followed my spirit and my heart. No different than I did with a friend in high school.One of my dear friends in high school began to date a young boy who a week earlier had told me, "I haven't had sex in two weeks, I need to find me a girlfriend." He had his eyes on my friend. I definitely stood in the way of this relationship, and she wasn't very happy with me, but in the end, she thanked me and was grateful that I was bold in letting her know the truth. However, this thankfulness didn't happen until I was on a mission, a year later.Do what your heart tells you. Be bold, but not overbearing. Love her no matter what her choice.I understand how difficult this is, as I went through this with my sister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 (edited) No disrespect to Rosemary Clooney, but as with so many other songs: .Random movie trivia: By the end of the shoot Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby figured they'd already blown the scene and so they were just goofing off. The director loved it and included it in the final cut anyways. Edited September 19, 2012 by Just_A_Guy Thanks, Vort! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 No respect to Rosemary Clooney"No disrespect", perhaps? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Erm . . . yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 No disrespect to Rosemary Clooney, but as with so many other songs: .Random movie trivia: By the end of the shoot Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby figured they'd already blown the scene and so they were just goofing off. The director loved it and included it in the final cut anyways.Fun bit of trivia! That's one of my favorite movies, and the scene with Bing and Danny is definitely my preferred. I almost used that one but I didn't want to imply that Backroads and Sharkbait are sisters in drag. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idahommie Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 "snow" was by far the best song in the movie..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Another topic on my mind.. My sister is 21 years old and has been dating Missionary for about 5 years. He is a year younger and left on his mission last December. However, about a month ago. He came home. He is home for personal reasons that have nothing to do with my sister. However, it is a matter of worthiness and he is home for a year. The percentage of missionaries going back out after a year is extremely low Any words of wisdom?My nephew came home while he was still in the MTC. He was home for about 18 months. He just left to complete his mission about a week ago. He dated while he was home, and has a steady girlfriend. There is hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Erm . . . yes.Don't feel bad. Prefixes are overrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharkbait_ Posted September 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2012 The logic is as follows: He claims he wants to return to his mission and honorably finish the duty he was assigned. If this is true, he should act like it. Playing kissy-facey with his girlfriend is not in accordance with the actions of someone trying to get his missionary service on track.Thank you! I am not judging my brother's girlfriend for what he did. That is besides the point. It bugs me that they are pretending like nothing ever happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted September 20, 2012 Report Share Posted September 20, 2012 Thank you! I am not judging my brother's girlfriend for what he did. That is besides the point. It bugs me that they are pretending like nothing ever happened. I'm confused, I thought this thread was about your sister's missionary boyfriend.M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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