Child Sex Offenders at Church

[Guest DeborahC]

I do not expect any other person to agree with me that pedophiles should be executed.

I believe in the death penalty for murderers.

Child molestation is the same as murder, in my book, because you literally take away any chance of a normal life.

Not only do you experience the confusion, the pain of having your innocence yanked away in one motion, the guilt, and the shame,

you have the problem of "who would believe me?"

There is no way of winning.

The abuser is always stronger.

And they are not hurting themselves, like a drug addict.

They are killing their victim, emotionally.

I am not the same person I would be if I had not been abused.

My abuse began at age 7.

My brother's abuse began about the same time.

We learned quickly not to invite other children home.

They were never safe.

It ended when my father and brother died.

I can't tell you how many times I prayed my father would die.

That was the ONLY way he would stop.

I believe God answered my prayers.

Unfortunately, my 15 year old brother, also a victim, was in the plane with him.

So I dealt with that guilt also for many, many years.

But I do not regret my father's death one single bit.

My father was only 38 when he died.

Many children were saved by that plane crash!

My father had booked seats on the 5-seat Cessna for all of us.

It was a trade-out for advertising.

We were flying from Christiansted, St. Croix to Hanford, California, a tiny dairy town in the San Joaquin Valley.

The pilot was delivering a plane he had sold to a man who lived in this tiny town we needed to get to.

It was all God's plan, as far as I'm concerned.

The only reason my 18 month old son and I were not on the plane

was because God sent me a vivid dream the plane would crash, and I refused to fly.

I finally, after all those years, stood up to him.

I begged him not to make my brother fly with him.

But he was in control still, when it came to my brother.

My brother was a sweet person who had also been psychologically damaged by the abuse.

Only God knows how his life would have turned out if he had not died.

Perhaps he would have been an abuser also.

Maybe it's good he went home to Heavenly Father while still innocent.

It's the only thought that saves me from my own feelings of guilt for asking for my father's death.

And so my son and I lived!

My brother and father, the pilot, and a hitch-hiker from Florida all died.

I'm quite aware that my feelings are strong because of my own personal experiences.

I'm not trying to shame anybody into conceding anything.

That is a tactic used by predators, and all of us who are survivors know it quite well and do our best to not do it to others.

In face, many tactics used by the predator were consciously avoided in rearing my children.

For breaking the chain of abuse, I am proud of myself.

I am not the one who keeps mentioning execution.

I've mentioned my father's death now to try to explain my strong feelings.

The question, "Do you own a cat?" felt very disrespectful and flippant.

What I need from any person who has never experienced molestation, either of themselves or their child, or of any relative,

is respect, a bit of compassion for those of us who are survivors, and kindness instead of attack.

Edited January 20, 2013 by john doe

[rkhutchinson]

Legal question. Maybe I missed this along the way.

If State law does not allow sex offenders to be around children, then they CANNOT attend church, correct? We, as LDS, believe in abiding by the laws of man, correct? The other question is, if the State has no such law, is the method of dealing with a sex offender a case-by-case basis?

Bini- until recently my state had several laws prohibiting a child sex offender from being in places where children congregate. However, in 2009 a paroled CSO was arrested for attending a church with children's programs/nursery. The ACLU stepped in. His case was fought all the way to the state supreme court which ruled these laws were overbroad and unconstitutional. In my state it is the legal right of a CSO to attend church despite the presence of children and there are few restrictions on where a predator may go. Thank you ACLU.

[Tough Grits]

I do not expect any other person to agree with me that pedophiles should be executed. I'm quite aware that my feelings are strong because of my own experiences.

I do not feel you need to apologize for your feelings. You are the only one who has walked in your shoes. If others do not understand, then that is not something you need to apologize for.

I agree with you that there should be no negativity on this thread. If a person does not understand, then they should ask for clarification with humility and respect. I feel that those who have not been personally touched by this issue, should either speak gently or they should refrain from speaking. This is not the place for "in-your-face" opinions.

I hope you have found peace from whatever you have had to face in your life involving this topic. For the most part, I have found peace. I have learned to take my experience and turn it into a mission to teach my own children how to be safe.

Lots of love ~TG

[estradling75]

On the subject of handling Sex offenders at church... I think there is a few things Christ would have us do.

I know that Christ wants us to protect the children for their souls are of great worth to him. I also know that Christ wants us to help those that are struggling. To help those souls no matter how darkened with sin return to him, because those souls are also of great worth to him. Therefore if a Sex offender is at all serious about repenting then they need to be at church just like everyone else.

So how do we balance the two... Well as a parent your primary responsibility is your kids, but your secondary one is to those that are struggling. I'd say it is well within your stewardship to ask the leadership in the Ward how they plan to do both. If they don't have a plan then they need one, if they do have a plan then you can consider it. Maybe even offer ideas to make it better...

By doing so you put yourself in a position of acting from facts, not fear. If in you judgement the plan simply isn't good enough, and you can't make it better, then you can take other steps as you feel necessary (aka go elsewhere if it comes to that)

[NeuroTypical]

The man in question molested his three daughters when they were young.

...

he abused his own daughters twenty years ago- they are grown with children of their own now. He did not go to jail for those crimes.

Ok - hang on a minute. Exactly how do you know this? Are you one of the daughters? Was there ever a formal accusation or a trial? Was he ever arrested? There are times when people know things about someone, and there are times when there's gossip and heresay and false accusations. How do you know one way or the other?

Decades later, while serving as Elder Quorum President, he molested his 7-year-old granddaughter. He served 18 months in prison

So wait - I'm still confused. When was he in seminary? Before his 18 month prison sentence or after? What charge was he convicted of?

I want to make sure I'm understanding correctly. Is this the sequence of events?

1. Guy allegedly molests daughters 20 years ago. Nobody did anything about it, but somehow everyone "knows" about it.

2. Guy goes on to be active in church and hold callings, including seminary.

3. Guy is convicted of molesting his 7 yr old granddaughter and serves 18 months in prison.

4. Guy is coming back, and you are worried he'll be around kids again.

Is that everything in the right order? If so, you should not have to worry about him having a calling in leadership or with the youth, because of his conviction.

[Bini]

On the subject of handling Sex offenders at church... I think there is a few things Christ would have us do.

I know that Christ wants us to protect the children for their souls are of great worth to him. I also know that Christ wants us to help those that are struggling. To help those souls no matter how darkened with sin return to him, because those souls are also of great worth to him. Therefore if a Sex offender is at all serious about repenting then they need to be at church just like everyone else.

So how do we balance the two... Well as a parent your primary responsibility is your kids, but your secondary one is to those that are struggling. I'd say it is well within your stewardship to ask the leadership in the Ward how they plan to do both. If they don't have a plan then they need one, if they do have a plan then you can consider it. Maybe even offer ideas to make it better...

By doing so you put yourself in a position of acting from facts, not fear. If in you judgement the plan simply isn't good enough, and you can't make it better, then you can take other steps as you feel necessary (aka go elsewhere if it comes to that)

That's why I liked MOE's suggestion. If the law does not have restrictions, and handling CSOs is left to the church's discretion, let's make standard a "buddy system". It's a sensible and reasonable solution, protecting both parties -- the victim and allowing worship for the offender.

On the note of fear. For a survivor, fear is likely something he or she will always harbour to some degree. That's what makes abuse (whatever kind) so traumatising -- it often has long lasting and lingering effects. That said, I believe in "preventive measures", so to speak. And that's not being fearful but being SMART. Enforcing a buddy system would be one option. That's acknowledging that the offender should have the opportunity to seek atonement BUT that's also putting into place a system that greatly lowers risks.

In my OWN opinion, I can forgive but I'm not worried about hurting the feelings of the offender by not inviting him to our home for a family BBQ -- nope -- my child's physical AND MENTAL health is more important than worrying about those politics.

[Guest DeborahC]

Loudmouth,

I'm not sure how old you are or where you grew up, but times have changed.

Twenty years ago what happened in a person's house in our tiny town was not often challenged.

A man could beat his wife legally up into the mid 70's.

A woman complaining was told by her parents to go home, she'd made her bed, now lie in it.

A woman going to the police was told, "He's sorry, he won't do it again" and the husband was patted on the back and told to try to keep his temper under control, but was NOT arrested. Women were expected to OBEY their husbands. In fact, that phrase has "OBEY your husband" was originally in Temple Ordinances.

A man's children were HIS - my father told me that repeatedly - along with "What happens in this house STAYS in this house!"

It's not unlikely that "everyone knew about" a molester and yet did nothing twenty years ago.

There was a family at our church where the girl had complained about her father, and in those days people said, "it's THEIR business." She got pregnant and was sent away to have the baby and give it up for adoption. He never was arrested and continued to come to church on Sundays. We were told to stay away from him by my grandparents. But no, nobody did anything about it. That poor girl ended up in a mental institution. Those were closed down and I have no idea what became of her.

I personally know of several such cases where there was abuse and nobody did anything.

It takes someone with experience to understand our fear.

Our fear often seems irrational to those who have not had our experience,

just as the fear of dogs may seem irrational to someone who has never been bitten.

Edited January 19, 2013 by DeborahC

[Tough Grits]

Last year my friends told me that such a man had joined their ward (the ward I attended when I was at uni) and they told me that members where instructed to treat him as a normal member but at the same time during primary the corridors were patroled by at least one member of the bishopric and that he was "escorted" between in classes - but it was done in a subtle way eg a group or priesthood would start talking with him and then they would just naturally make their way to priesthood or from priesthood to sunday school or sacrament

I think that is awesome. They are accomplishing two things, fellowshipping and protecting. Hopefully they were able to maintain both.

I know that Christ wants us to protect the children for their souls are of great worth to him. I also know that Christ wants us to help those that are struggling. To help those souls no matter how darkened with sin return to him, because those souls are also of great worth to him. Therefore if a Sex offender is at all serious about repenting then they need to be at church just like everyone else.

I agree. A very delicate balance indeed, huh? Our first line of defense, as parents, should be to teach our children about safety from the time they can understand spoken words. Then our second line of defense is to be as vigilant as possible. The third line of defense is to let the Lord handle the rest, and to give us the strength and grace to handle what ever comes our way.

[Tough Grits]

I have gotten a message that my response to Dravin's statements was deleted because I brought into question his moderation practices.

So, we can't question the manner that somebody is addressing us if that person happens to be a moderator?

Here in the south we have a saying: "Right is right, and wrong is wrong."

[beefche]

Loudmouth,

I would like to ask you to think about what you are saying in your post.

Your very post is the exact reason why many children never report their abuse.

They will not be believed and will be subjected to such questioning.

It's intimidating.

You figure it's best just to keep your mouth shut because you can't win.

Interesting. Obviously, you don't know LM. He and his wife fight (literally--they carry guns to protect themselves and their family) a family member who is a convicted molester who molested one of theirs.

[estradling75]

I do not feel you need to apologize for your feelings. You are the only one who has walked in your shoes. If others do not understand, then that is not something you need to apologize for.

I agree with you that there should be no negativity on this thread. If a person does not understand, then they should ask for clarification with humility and respect. I feel that those who have not been personally touched by this issue, should either speak gently or they should refrain from speaking. This is not the place for "in-your-face" opinions.

I hope you have found peace from whatever you have had to face in your life involving this topic. For the most part, I have found peace. I have learned to take my experience and turn it into a mission to teach my own children how to be safe.

Lots of love ~TG

Who says they don't understand? Do you have to be molested before you can talk about how to deal with it? Do you have to have kids before you can have a desire to protect them? I think not... and I think it it very insulting to say or otherwise imply or infer that the only thing the child-less and un-molested can offer is sympathy to the victim.

In fact I'd go farther and say its counter productive. Because being molested is a (understandably) great source of trauma and pain. And parental fear can easily become parental panic. The acting out of, trauma, pain, and panic while understandable is a good way to let the 'natural man' rule your actions. And if your 'natural man' has you in a strong grip other voices need to be heard, need to call out the wrongness. And those with out such baggage are ideal for that.

[Bini]

Interesting. Obviously, you don't know LM. He and his wife fight (literally--they carry guns to protect themselves and their family) a family member who is a convicted molester who molested one of theirs.

This is an emotionally charged topic. I know there are many of us on forum that have dealt with abuse in one form or another.

[Guest DeborahC]

No, I didn't know that about LM, and I apologize if I said anything that was disrespectful.

I removed the paragraph in question.

But I stick by my statement that children don't tell because they believe nobody will believe them and that such questioning is intimidating.

The problem with those questions in a forum, is that you cannot see the body language that goes along with the speech.

So you can't really judge the person's motives.

I agree this is an emotionally charged topic.

Many of us are in different stages of healing.

I wish the problem didn't exist, but it does.

Bini and Moe, I agree that the buddy system is a good one.

But I also strongly feel that parents in the Ward and Stake need to be notified and I'm not sure if that's even legal anymore. Some unsuspecting parent could hand their child over to this person; they're often so charming and likable. It's really an uncomfortable situation that the Church Leaders must pray about.

I'm glad I"m not in their shoes.

Edited January 19, 2013 by DeborahC

[Tough Grits]

Who says they don't understand? Do you have to be molested before you can talk about how to deal with it? Do you have to have kids before you can have a desire to protect them? I think not... and I think it it very insulting to say or otherwise imply or infer that the only thing the child-less and un-molested can offer is sympathy to the victim.

In fact I'd go farther and say its counter productive. Because being molested is a (understandably) great source of trauma and pain. And parental fear can easily become parental panic. The acting out of, trauma, pain, and panic while understandable is a good way to let the 'natural man' rule your actions. And if your 'natural man' has you in a strong grip other voices need to be heard, need to call out the wrongness. And those with out such baggage are ideal for that.

Thank you for your response, but I think you need to re-read my words.

I stated that there should be no negativity on this thread.

If person lacks understanding then they should ask for clarification.

I stated that those who had not been touched by this issue should "speak gently" or not speak.

I said that this was not the place for "in-your-face opinions".

Please re-read my post. I am sorry that you are upset, but I was trying to remind others to speak kindly and gently and that there is no need to argue or become ugly.

Much love ~TG

Edited January 19, 2013 by Tough Grits

[LilyBelle00]

Loudmouth,

I'm not sure how old you are or where you grew up, but times have changed.

Twenty years ago what happened in a person's house in our tiny town was not often challenged.

A man could beat his wife legally up into the mid 70's.

A woman complaining was told by her parents to go home, she'd made her bed, now lie in it.

A woman going to the police was told, "He's sorry, he won't do it again" and the husband was patted on the back and told to try to keep his temper under control, but was NOT arrested. Women were expected to OBEY their husbands. In fact, that phrase has "OBEY your husband" was originally in Temple Ordinances.

A man's children were HIS - my father told me that repeatedly - along with "What happens in this house STAYS in this house!"

It's not unlikely that "everyone knew about" a molester and yet did nothing twenty years ago.

There was a family at our church where the girl had complained about her father, and in those days people said, "it's THEIR business." She got pregnant and was sent away to have the baby and give it up for adoption. He never was arrested and continued to come to church on Sundays. We were told to stay away from him by my grandparents. But no, nobody did anything about it. That poor girl ended up in a mental institution. Those were closed down and I have no idea what became of her.

I personally know of several such cases where there was abuse and nobody did anything.

I would like to ask you to think about what you are saying in your post.

Your very post is the exact reason why many children never report their abuse.

They will not be believed and will be subjected to such questioning.

It's intimidating.

You figure it's best just to keep your mouth shut because you can't win.

This is what happened with my mother's family as well. Everyone knew what the step father had done even though he never got arrested. The worst part is that my grandmother knew that it was happening. When her daughters told her what was happening she said "it won't happen again" and fought with him. She still stayed and of course it kept happening. All of those girls left home when they were young teenagers and all of them have issues today that can be traced back to their horrific childhood.

So we all knew. I was told from an early age to never be alone with him. I wasn't allowed to spend the night at my grandma's house when he was home. He had never been convicted of anything.

A few years ago my mom was called by a step brother that she didn't really know. He was crying and asking her if she would come testify in a trial against this man. The step brother had no contact with our family before this and they didn't know what had happened. Him and his wife had opened their house and hearts to this man (step brother's father). They had been paying him to babysit their young children! It turns my stomach to think about what happened in that house. My mom and aunts did go to the trial and testify against him and he's serving 99 years in prison.

Edited January 19, 2013 by LilyBelle00

[Bini]

People can be as compassionate as they want towards abused victims but I beg to differ that they understand the pain and recovery process of an abused victim -- they don't. There's a difference.

And as a general statement, I don't believe you HAVE to be a parent to understand what it means to love and protect a child. I wanted to emphasise that it's a NATURAL instinct for parents.

All this said, of course, we as a community can strive and work together for better solutions.

[estradling75]

So, we can't question the manner that somebody is addressing us if that person happens to be a moderator?

Here in the south we have a saying: "Right is right, and wrong is wrong."

Of course you can... You can use the report a post button like everyone else

You can also call them out without mentioning their mod status like you would any other poster.

Mods are people too... we make mistakes, have bad days, we even use poor judgement at time. Deal with us like you would any other poster.

But you attempt to try to shame us by using our mod status against us makes us very likely to render a judgement that you felt the post was an official moderator action (when it wasn't intended to be so) and therefore broke the rules.

Bottom line if you don't invoke our mod status in a disagreement then we will not. You do it then we will to.

[skippy740]

I would also like to emphasize that any actions taken with any poster are kept confidential. We don't share what happens with other posters with other posters.

I know it can be very easy to think "Well, what did THAT person get?"... but we aren't in elementary school anymore.

Each poster's actions are dealt with on an individualized basis and not shared with others.

[Guest DeborahC]

Who says they don't understand?

Do you have to be molested before you can talk about how to deal with it? Do you have to have kids before you can have a desire to protect them? I think not... and I think it it very insulting to say or otherwise imply or infer that the only thing the child-less and un-molested can offer is sympathy to the victim.

In fact I'd go farther and say its counter productive. Because being molested is a (understandably) great source of trauma and pain. And parental fear can easily become parental panic. The acting out of, trauma, pain, and panic while understandable is a good way to let the 'natural man' rule your actions. And if your 'natural man' has you in a strong grip other voices need to be heard, need to call out the wrongness. And those with out such baggage are ideal for that.

No, I don't believe anyone can fully understand if they have not experienced abuse themselves.

No, you don't have to have children before you can have a desire to protect them. However, a parent has a totally different point of view that can only come from experience. That is why I asked Dravine if he HAD children. I was interested in knowing where he was coming from. Instead, I got, "Do you have a cat?" which didn't feel like a compassionate or sympathetic response.

I don't hear anyone saying child-less and un-molested people cannot offer sympathy.

We hope they will!

Yes, being molested is a great source of trauma and pain.

Yes, parental fear can easily become panic. I absolutely recognize that.

Yes, when we act out our "natural man" it's helpful to have someone gently nudge us.

This is the job of our church leaders or health professionals.

This is hopefully someone with compassion ; not someone who badgers, uses intimidation, or stimulates the very fear and panic we are doing our best to avoid.

[estradling75]

Thank you for your response, but I think you need to re-read my words.

I stated that there should be no negativity on this thread.

If person lacks understanding then they should ask for clarification.

I stated that those who had not been touched by this issue should "speak gently" or not speak.

I said that this was not the place for "in-your-face opinions".

Please re-read my post. I am sorry that you are upset, but I was trying to remind others to speak kindly and gently and that here is no need to argue or become ugly.

Much love ~TG

Ok I'll ask for clarification...

Are you saying that I was negative?

Because I wasn't... I was disagreeing with point of view

Are you saying I wasn't "speak gently?"

Because I was... much as this medium will allow to go through

Are you saying I was using "in-your-face opinions"?

Because I wasn't... I was simply disagreeing

Are you saying I am upset?

Because if so you are wrong... Which makes me think you are supplying tone, inferences to my posts that I never intended for them to have. Please put aside put aside the fact that I disagree and re-read my post in a softer more gentle tone.

[rkhutchinson]

Ok - hang on a minute. Exactly how do you know this? Are you one of the daughters? Was there ever a formal accusation or a trial? Was he ever arrested? There are times when people know things about someone, and there are times when there's gossip and heresay and false accusations. How do you know one way or the other?

So wait - I'm still confused. When was he in seminary? Before his 18 month prison sentence or after? What charge was he convicted of?

I want to make sure I'm understanding correctly. Is this the sequence of events?

1. Guy allegedly molests daughters 20 years ago. Nobody did anything about it, but somehow everyone "knows" about it.

2. Guy goes on to be active in church and hold callings, including seminary.

3. Guy is convicted of molesting his 7 yr old granddaughter and serves 18 months in prison.

4. Guy is coming back, and you are worried he'll be around kids again.

Is that everything in the right order? If so, you should not have to worry about him having a calling in leadership or with the youth, because of his conviction.

I am not worried about him having a calling, hopefully a conviction will prevent that. I am worried that church leadership will not take enough precaution (if it is even possible) to prevent him from abusing another child in our branch. That fear is largely predicated on the fact that a man who was known to have sexually abused his daughters was given a clean slate and callings. One of his daughters was a member of our branch and a friend of mine. We have a small, close knit branch. All the kids feel at home in the meetinghouse and spend alot of time there playing basketball, riding bikes in the parking lot... they aren't always in eyesight every minute.

[Tough Grits]

Estradling75,

My original post was not to you. I was speaking to another member directly.

You quoted what I said to her and added things that I did not say. I do not want to discuss this any further with you in public. I have already sent you a private message.

I will not participate in a public back-and-forth.

Much love ~TG

[skippy740]

I am going to ask a sincere question:

Isn't the abuse of your own children DIFFERENT than abusing the children of others?

It is my opinion that while the act and crime is the same, the situation where it can happen is not.

Family are those people whom you see anytime and anywhere. Others, are not so 'accessible'.

I'm thinking that the thinking behind it is different.

That is not to say that there aren't precautions or other actions that can and should be taken.

But to put it in context, the above post talked about playing basketball and riding bicycles at the Church. This doesn't happen on Sundays. Would there be any reason why this person would need to be at the Church building during the week? The only thing I can think of, is to help clean the Church building. And yes, I know that there are some that bring their children to the building to help clean up.

Any other reason would be to participate in planning meetings, depending any callings extended.

Anyway, I believe that reasonable precautions should be made... but I do think that it is a different mentality between an abuser who abused their children/grandchildren and one who will try to abuse any child.

Am I wrong?

[estradling75]

No, I don't believe anyone can fully understand if they have not experienced abuse themselves.

Christ fully understands... And he set the path the rest of us are trying to follow... Following that path is correct even if we don't fully understand.

And no one fully understands one another. We all react differently to the same event. So to limit meaningful conversations to just those that fully understand means we don't talk to anyone

I don't hear anyone saying child-less and un-molested people cannot offer sympathy.

We hope they will!

Which was not what I asked... I asked is that the only thing they can offer. Which I disagree with

Yes, being molested is a great source of trauma and pain.

Yes, parental fear can easily become panic. I absolutely recognize that.

Yes, when we act out our "natural man" it's helpful to have someone gently nudge us.

This is the job of our church leaders or health professionals.

This is hopefully someone with compassion ; not someone who badgers, uses intimidation, or stimulates the very fear and panic we are doing our best to avoid.

Gently nudging people is the responsibility of all the followers of Christ. Some are better at it then others. While it is understandable that no one likes being nudged and some might have very sensitive areas, it doesn't make the nudge wrong. (Just poorly expressed or delivered)

[BadWolf]

For everyone who thinks the buddy system / supervision is this great idea or a good compromise...

... You know it Doesn't. Work., right?

ESPECIALLY when people are kept in the dark. Please go research 'grooming'. And then reflect seriously on how you yourself and children would be likely to regard an 'obviously' well liked and respected member (his company is so often sought out! Special attentions paid to him)... And the children who see him week in and week out. Would you stop to chat in the parking lot? Invite him over for dinner? Ask him to keep an eye on your little one as you go corral the boys running all over outside, or vice versa, leave your older child with the friendly man (most children looooove pedophiles, because pedophiles craft a very likable exterior) when your toddler has a diaper blowout or you realize you forgot the binki/ sign up sheet/etc., or the RS president wants a word.

But a family doesn't even have to be clueless. Wards are neighbors. Merely the act of seeing him every week in church lays the ground for the meeting in the park, restroom, leaf raking, lawn mowing, dog walking. Because the man is KNOWN to them, children don't have 'stranger danger' associated with him anymore. Because he attends their church, he is painted with the same broad brush ALL church members are painted with. Righteous. Trusted. Show respect toward. Help. And ADULTS not liking him/ even going so far as to say he hurts children? Major cognitive dissonance. Which means that typically, at about 8 or 9, kids think the adults are schtupid. The guy is obviously AWESOME. He treats them like grownups. Always lets them pet his dog. Has brownies or Popsicles at his house. Tips really well when you help him take his leaves. The OTHER adults saying 'stay away'? Are just being stupid adults treating them like babies AGAIN, or bullies, or unchristian, or ....

You see what I'm saying?

How about, if people want to "help" a pedophile so badly, they NEVER allow him to be around children... And take Sacrament to him in his home... Like what is done for other sick people?