beefche Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 Men and women are different. One is not better than the other, just different. But when it comes to romance, these differences seem to stand out.So, what is romantic or romance to you? I would love to hear from both men and women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 (edited) I honestly don't tend to think of romance in terms of myself. That is to say, when I say or think that something is romantic it tends to means either, "A specific woman, or a generalized concept of women would find this romantic." Some things are certainly more intimate than others but if we're talking something like a night at the symphony or a nice dinner out I tend to think, "This is nice." rather than, "This is romantic." That said, romance is the big and little things that women appreciate as communicators of interest and love. It's a rather broad spectrum that covers little notes or flowers to candle lit dinners, low music, and memorizing one of Shakespeare's sonnets. So to sum up; romance is the things you do to tell a woman you love her. Obviously this is a androcentric concept of romance and while it captures my general thought processes my thinking isn't completely confined to it. Edited December 20, 2013 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 Intimacy is romantic ("romantic" in the sense of "lovey-dovey and sweetums, kissy-facey snugglebuns", not in the sense of "having to do with Roman times or mores" or "the musical period immediately following the Classical and generally considered to have begun with Beethoven"). Physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy. Doing things together. Getting to know someone in a truly intimate manner. Doing things that foster such intimacy. This intimacy is a holy thing, and in my opinion is the real foundation of all that we casually call "romantic". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 Wiki says that romance is love emphasizing emotion over libido.My husband is a romantic and I'm not. I'll be in the middle of cooking or cleaning and he thinks that's appropriate timing to give me extra doting attention. It drives me crazy! But at the end of the day, I realise how sweet it is, it's nice to have him show me love and appreciation when I'm doing chores. I think about how some of my friends whine about their spouse or boyfriend showing NO love or appreciation when they're doing those things. So for me romance is sometimes affection that shows gratitude and has nothing to do with sexual desire. I also find it romantic when my husband steps in and does house chores. What a beautiful gesture of love. Hehe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 My opinion of romance has changed over time. It used to be more what you see on TV and in the movies: grand gestures, spontaneous shows of love, etc. I've come to agree with Vort. Romance is about intimately knowing what will make your sweetheart's life easier, or make them feel loved, and then making effort to do those things. Therefore, it looks different to everyone. It's romantic when my husband sees I'm at the end of my rope and takes the kids upstairs to play for awhile. Or when he squeezes my hand at church or during a movie when he hears something he knows will resonate with me. It's romantic when he wants to run to Walmart with me so we can have some time together. It's not so much about formal dates and bringing me flowers as I used to think it was (though those things are nice once in awhile ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishcolleen Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 Just being together. We still like holding hands after 21 years :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 My opinion of romance has changed over time. It used to be more what you see on TV and in the movies: grand gestures, spontaneous shows of love, etc. I've come to agree with Vort. Romance is about intimately knowing what will make your sweetheart's life easier, or make them feel loved, and then making effort to do those things. Therefore, it looks different to everyone. It's romantic when my husband sees I'm at the end of my rope and takes the kids upstairs to play for awhile. Or when he squeezes my hand at church or during a movie when he hears something he knows will resonate with me. It's romantic when he wants to run to Walmart with me so we can have some time together. It's not so much about formal dates and bringing me flowers as I used to think it was (though those things are nice once in awhile ).Eowyn, I thought you wrote that beautifully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 Thank you. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted December 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 So, Dravin sees romance more in the sense of what women perceive as romantic. Vort views romance as intimacy. What do other men view as romantic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarlJibbs Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 Wife says that it is romantic when I do the dishes. No sure if she is just trying to get me to do more housework though :) As for myself, I agree with both Vort and Dravin. Romance to seems to be the woman side of things, when I think of romantic, I think of things that I could do that my wife would think romantic, not myself. Like flowers, compliments, a nice fancy dinner. For myself, I think intimacy= romance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarlJibbs Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 Wife says that it is romantic when I do the dishes. Not sure if she is just trying to get me to do more housework though :) As for myself, I agree with both Vort and Dravin. Romance to seems to be the woman side of things, when I think of romantic, I think of things that I could do that my wife would think romantic, not myself. Like flowers, compliments, a nice fancy dinner. For myself, I think intimacy= romance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 So, Dravin sees romance more in the sense of what women perceive as romantic. Vort views romance as intimacy. What do other men view as romantic?Stereotypically?? What gets us sex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 Romance for me are not flowers, chocolate or romantic movies. Romance for me is chicken fettuccine Alfredo, garlic bread and a great salad!!! Ummmm..of courseeee with your best half next to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted December 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 Wife says that it is romantic when I do the dishes. Not sure if she is just trying to get me to do more housework though :) I don't get women who think doing chores is romantic. Don't get me wrong....I LOVE when he does chores without me asking him. But, that just gets him happy points, but I don't consider it romance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saldrin Posted December 21, 2013 Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 Men and women are different. One is not better than the other, just different. But when it comes to romance, these differences seem to stand out.So, what is romantic or romance to you? I would love to hear from both men and women.Cooking a dinner for my lady, table set with flowers and candles maybe a walk in the dark starry night afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted December 21, 2013 Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 Romance is Eros. <grin> aka whatever twitterpates you... Whether your dating or 67 3/4s years in (aka how long my grandparents were married) Whatever inspires passion OR love. What makes eyes light up, and then sinks to your core. Binding you filament by filament to another.Whether its a look, a word, a gesture, a deed.It's tying yourself and another together. In all the myriad ways we do. Symbols & Understanding. Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted December 21, 2013 Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 Romance is focus on coziness, comfort, and the occasional surprise. These are what I like from my husband. And possibly the closest thing to romance for him. While he can be romantic for me, he doesn't really need it, not in the traditional sense. He needs to be appreciated and "petted" (not the For the Strength of Youth definition, but almost like the attention you would give a dog.) But otherwise he's pretty simple.Gotta say, when I saw this thread, the first thing that popped into my head was the romance conversation on my Amazon Vine forum where everyone complains about how they hate the "bodice rippers" novels that keep showing up on our list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrShorty Posted December 21, 2013 Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 It is hard for me to pin down. A few elements of romance that come to my mind:1) A sense of commitment -- Romance to me carries a sense of "I will love in spite of (fill in the blank)."2) A sense of exclusivity -- An act or thing you would share indiscriminately with just anyone is not very romanticI'm sure there's more, but that is about all I've got so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mordorbund Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Isn't "swashbuckling" a related term? I'm pretty sure it is. You've done something right if I feel like Errol Flynn after a date. And if I'm hitting on you, the proper response is either a blush or a swoon. Both are acceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.