Stuck in between a rock and a hard place.

[mdfxdb]

Just read through this thread.  I can state that if my wife were to become "anti", I would deem that behavior as completely unacceptable.  If she were to begin to berate me, and proselytize to our kids about how bad and false the church is, I would put her on notice.  Notice to stop.  

 

You should work with her on this, as mentioned before divorce is not usually acceptable unless one of the 3 A's occurs.  But she is on the road to doing one or more of those A's.  It is with the small steps and justifications that we find ourselves in one of the 3 A's.  Addiction, abuse, adultery.  If she continues to be "anti" in front of you or the kids, then that may constitute abuse.  Emotional abuse is as powerful as any physical abuse.  If her other behaviors escalate, and she wants more "freedom" you may find yourself experiencing another A.   

[classylady]

Keep in mind that if you do divorce your wife, she could be the parent that receives physical custody of the children the majority of the time.  You would even have less influence on your children if you perhaps only have the children every other weekend. Divorce would not end the influence she has on the children.  All it does is open a door to a different set of problems.

 

When my husband was going through problems in his first marriage (his ex wife was excommunicated for infidelity), he sought the advice of a marriage therapist. The therapist told him he could either let-go of the reins or tighten them.  My husband chose to tighten the reins, and his ex rebelled even further.  IMO, force and coercion are not the Christlike way to tackle problems. I sometimes wonder if my husband had not chosen to demand that his ex change her behavior, if she would have a better feeling towards the church today. Demands, coercion, or force, leave most people with a sour feeling. And, if your wife looks to you as the Priesthood in the home, that feeling could be extended to other leaders of the church, whereas, charity and love leave a person with warm, good feelings.  Christ loved those whom he taught and served.

Edited October 4, 2014 by classylady

[Leah]

Are you saying that I should support her in her transition in living a non-mormon lifestyle by letting her know that its ok? I find that hard to accept. For example shopping on Sundays is something that I do not want my kids to get used to, if I dont resist and point out that it is breaking the sabbath when my wife does it then the kids will think that it is ok.

 

she also started wearing tank tops, yesterday she went a step further in "finding her new self" and wore a strap less (tube top type) summer dress. It shows too much skin and I would never have dated any girl that had dress standards like that, whats even worse is that we have daughters and I worked my tail end off teaching them about mormon dress standards ever since they were born.

 

so far I have been successful in threatening her into obeying the basics for the purpose of being an example for our kids. For example in the early stages of her rebelllion she was teaching the kids anti-mormon material and I told her in private that she needs to stop that immediately or im leaving her so that i can raise them righteously in my own household, she did stop but still has a lowsy attitude toward all things church. Next she was slacking off on attending church on time, always coming in with the kids right after the sacrament was done (I have meetings b4 church so Im in the sacrament hall early saving a row for our family). I told her that its is my job to raise them the same way me (and her) was raised and get them to the age of 18 when they can start to make their own decisions, if she is not going to bring them to church on time im going to have our neighbor member pick them up to bring them on time, that worked too and so she has been on time lately, i think the embarasement of someone else taking over her motherly responsibilities is what motivated her in that situation.

 

Ten years ago I had an older relative who cheated on his wife when their kids were around the age of 8yrs old. Instead of reconciling, the wife divorced and found another man that was temple worthy. Today those kids are 18 and 19 and they are both serving missions. What I learned from watching this family is that the wife made a decision to not deal with anytype of crap and she wanted nothing less then an ideal mormon household for her kids. The kids are way, way humble and the most ideal mormon kids, they still love their Dad and have a great relationship with him. On the other hand I have observed plenty of part member families through out the years and I notice more often the kids are more easily influenced to go astray at an early age.

I find it disturbing that you come to a public forum and list details of the ways you feel your wife is living/acting in a non-Momon way (bad in and of itself) but then you go on to brag that YOU chose to go against church teaching and stopped paying tithing and are even proud of yourself for doing so. You even - very mistakenly - think you have been blessed financially for it.

Whatever problems there are in your marriage, a public forum full of strangers is no way to address the issue. Usually people who do that are just fishing for some sort of bogus confirmation that they are "right". Instead you should be addressing these things with your bishop and a professional counselor.

[Silhouette]

Thanks Silhouette! I guess this just really hits close to home....thus the novel

You are very welcome. To the OP I only have this to offer:

'Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer thought it scarcely worth his while

To waste his time on the old violin, but he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good friends," he cried, "Who'll start the bidding for me?

One dollar! Only one? And who'll make it two? Two dollars once, and three...

Three dollars once, and three dollars twice, and going and going..." But no.

From the back of the room, a gray haired man

came up and picked up the bow.

And wiping the dust from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings

He played a melody pure and sweet as

caroling angels sing.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer, in a voice

that was quiet and low,

said "What am I bid for the old violin,"

As he held it up with the bow.

"One thousand dollars! And who"ll make it two?

Two thousand, and three!

Three thousand once, and three thousand twice,

and going, and going, and gone!" said he.

The people cheered, but some of them cried, "We don't quite understand...what changed its worth?"

Swift came the reply, "'Twas the touch of the master's hand."

And many a man, with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin

Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,

much like this old violin.

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine, a game, and he travels on.

He's going once, and going twice, and going and almost gone.

But the Master comes, and the thoughtless crowd

never can quite understand

the worth of a soul, and the change that is wrought by the touch of the Master's hand.

Your wife is a daughter of God and a sister of Christ, no matter what she says or does. It is my prayer for you that you will seek Their help in this matter, and that the touch of the Master's hand may be made manifest in both your lives.

Edited October 3, 2014 by Silhouette

[NeuroTypical]

Hi there priesthoodpower.  Advance notice - my advice isn't quite as nice as other advice here.

 

4. She started to feed all this anti-mormon information to our kids (bk of mormon not true, JS not a prophet etc..) so I put my foot down and told her..."our kids will not be confused about religion, we started our marriage as mormons and our kids will continue to be taught as mormons under this roof, if you want to teach them about anti-mormon information then you need to move into your own house and teach them under your own roof"...."So as long as we are raising our kids together you will continue to support them in attendance of sunday meetings and weekly church activities".

I think you really screwed up here bigtime.  How dare you attempt to exercise this bullying unrighteous dominion over your wife?  How dare you threaten to kick her out unless she toes to your line?  How dare you unilaterally start imposing such serious, marriage-destroying ultimatums on your wife?

 

Shame on you.  

 

"You will continue to..."

 

You lost it right there, my friend.  

 

D&C 121: That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.  That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to ... exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.

 

That's what you did here in #4.  

 

This isn't a priesthood of putting your foot down.  This isn't a priesthood of telling your wife what she will and will not do, or she needs to find another place to live.

 

No really - shame, shame, shame on you.  

 

Should I have to keep my kids in this environment? 

...

What do I do? 

No, you shouldn't.  You should fall on your knees and repent of your attempt to exercise unrighteous dominion over your wife.  Then you should follow through with the repentance process by sincerely apologizing to your wife for this harm.

 

How real is a temple marriage if my wife no longer believes in it?

 

Until one of you has the sealing canceled, your temple sealing remains in effect.  In the eyes of man and God, you are still married to your wife.  

 

Ok.  Now all that's out of the way, on to how you should treat your wife.

 

You should love her.  You should find things to respect about her.  Your attitude towards her should be one of lovingly inviting her to regain her testimony.  If she's ticked off and anti, you should meet her complaints and criticisms with good responses - not rebukes.

 

You've been hurt, and you have legitimate fears about the impact this will have on your marriage and your kids, but hurting back isn't how you should go about this.  

 

Repent and cleanse yourself first - then work with your wife.

[priesthoodpower]

On 10/2/2014 at 4:46 AM, estradling75 said:

D&C 121

36 That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven........

The moment the words Force or Compulsion describe what you do you lose. Burn that into your brain. And as hard as it is learn to Stop It

Thank you very much estradling75 this is a great reminder for me and I need to do better.

 

 

 

Edited August 10, 2020 by priesthoodpower

[Backroads]

Are you two in counseling? Sounds like she isn't into the marriage anymore.

[Leah]

Thank you very much estradling75 this is a great reminder for me and I need to do better.

 

Today we had a talk about it and i expressed how i would like her to dress within standards the way we were raised to do (for the sake of being an example for our kids) and she said "its the new me and i like it, im tired of church telling me what to do, im tired of you telling me what do to, this is another one of your dumb rules to control me"!

I asked her about our temple sealing and she said "I dont recognize that ordinance, even when i did believe in that ordinance after the first few years of our marriage I would not have wanted to be with you for eternity because living with you is miserable"! I asked her what does eternity mean to her she said "We will all have eternal life (without all that levels of glory stuff) and who ever has the most love in their hearts here on earth will be the happiest in heaven, our relationships will continue with whom we love and want a relationship with".

I told her "I dont know what to think right now, I dont know if Im supposed to divorce you and find another wife that wants to have a temple marriage with me...?????...I really dont know what to say, I guess Ill continue to ponder/research and pray!"

 

This is very true, and I regret not doing this the first time around when she was a very devout and active LDS member. Thank you for that reminder and here is where I am struggling with what might be the potential outcome this time around.

If you recall in my previous post I mentioned that financially it felt like we were going no where our whole marriage, we had lots of debt. I had been trying to build various businesses the past 12 years and having some success but ultimately failing in all of them. Last year I told my wife I am going to stop paying tithing, she was mad at me and didnt like that idea but I told her its something I felt that I needed to do (knowing that spiritually it wasnt the right thing).

 

A few months later one of the businesses took off and she was surprised that instead of being cursed we were blessed, eventually when she went anti she used that example of why we dont need to be mormon in order for the lord to watch over us. The problem about this situation that only I understand is that the business taking off was a result of all those years that I did trial and error with the other failed businesses, I believe that I was inspired over the years to tweak and to learn and she was a great support over the past 12 years that allowed me time and energy to focus on business. The recent success was not a "POOOF! OUT OF NOWHERE!" miracle. And that is what I tried to tell her and why I credit the lord for all the success of this business. But no, what she thinks is that it doesnt matter what/where/how/why u worship, just be a good person is all that matters and religion makes people blind.

 

Our whole marriage I was the cause of a lot of friction while she was the strong one (spiritually), I was stubborn and selfish in various ways, she said she was miserable our entire marriage (little bit of exaggeration there) and most of the time it felt like we were only roommates. I am totally capable of doing a 180 and being the "romantic" man, the captain moroni that she always wanted, but allowing that change to happen at this point in time of her rebellion will be further proof to her that she doesnt need to be living a mormon lifestyle for the softening of hearts to occur and the spirit working in our lives.

 

It is a great habit to credit anything that is good to the Lord regardless of your religious beliefs, I hope that you are not saying that only LDS members with temple recommends receive blessings. Be humble and thank the Lord for waking up every morning even if you don't pay a tithe.

This is not an ordinary public forum its an LDS forum and There is so much knowledge/wisdom of people with my same faith that have been there done that, thats why I came here and the anonymity doesnt hurt anyone. We have been in counseling with three different Bishops over 10 years they are great spiritual leaders but they are not trained to get into the nitty gritty and finer details of marital problems. The internet is another tool to forward the work of the Lord and Im using it to gain feedback and other peoples perspectives that believe and value the same things that I do. This thread has opened up my eyes to new perspectives and helps to remind me what is most important, I am very thankful for everyones advice.

Your supposed new financial "success" from not paying tithing is not a blessing bestowed upon you by Heavenly Father. But the adversary would have you think that it is.

Sometimes, people's negative opinions about the church come as a reaction to the hypocrisy they see in other members. That, along with the bullying and unrighteousness dominion you engage in would not make someone feel warm, fuzzy feelings about the church. I wouldn't be surprised if your wife's behavior (or...supposed behavior....we only have one side of the story) is as much a rebellion against your treatment of her as it is against the church).

[priesthoodpower]

.

 

 

Edited August 10, 2020 by priesthoodpower

[priesthoodpower]

On 10/5/2014 at 2:51 PM, Leah said:

Sometimes, people's negative opinions about the church come as a reaction to the hypocrisy they see in other members.

Bingo! you are spot on my friend.

 

Edited August 10, 2020 by priesthoodpower

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Priesthoodpower,  you've received some great advice and counsel.  I know you agree.  I don't have much to add only this:

 

Remember what you said here that the Spirit is telling you "to stick it out and love her like how Christ will always love her."

Try to keep that in the forefront of your mind in every conversation...for example, if you keep this foremost in your mind you will stop telling her how to dress...just love her.

 

priesthood power I am truly feeling the spirit and I know you guys speak with the spirit because I can feel it and it is telling me to stick it out and love her like how Christ will always love her.

It is just so very hard to go through this adjustment period, part of it is the embarasment of having my family and ward members notice the change in lifestyle of my wife. The reason its a knock on me is because she is an extension of me, she is truly my other half and I feel like a failure because of my wifes rebellion from the church and I dont want her to make me feel defeated everytime I look at her. Thats why I was saying that leaving her is a real possible option.

 

This last part concerns me.  I understand, but it is still concerning.  This is your pride speaking and as Pres. Benson says the scriptures never speak of pride as being a good thing.  Pride is difficult to eradicate from our lives, I know I work on it in my own life on a regular basis.  Just try to remember being embarrassed what other people think is pride.  Something I tell myself when my pride gets the best of me....Only One opinion matters...the one is of course the Lords.  And as you said, the Spirit is telling you to love her as Christ does.  THAT is His opinion, and the only one you need to listen to.  

 

Also based on what I have seen in the lives of friends (unless the three A's are involved) divorce always makes things worse.  I think in your situation, it would make things a lot worse too.

 

P.S. I should also add...your responses in this thread have been very humble....we are not "all humble" or "all prideful" beings.  I'm impressed with how you have humbly accepted the advice and suggestions here.  Just be careful about the places where your pride slips in with your wife.

Edited October 6, 2014 by LiterateParakeet

[yjacket]

priesthoodpower,

 

I agree that in many instances your responses in this forum have been humble.  But I cannot say the same thing with how you would treat your wife nor with how you treat the Gospel. If you did that you would begin to see a world of difference.  One may come onto a public forum and act very humble but if in real life they are not putting it into action it means nothing.

 

Based upon what you have said here (and I'm drawing conclusions I probably shouldn't) your attitude towards your wife when you interact with her is a holier than thou.

 

For example

"I asked her about our temple sealing and she said "I dont recognize that ordinance, even when i did believe in that ordinance after the first few years of our marriage I would not have wanted to be with you for eternity because living with you is miserable"! I asked her what does eternity mean to her she said "We will all have eternal life (without all that levels of glory stuff) and who ever has the most love in their hearts here on earth will be the happiest in heaven, our relationships will continue with whom we love and want a relationship with"."

 

Instead of the wake up call of "hey why does my wife think it is miserable" you avoid it and go to what does eternity mean, talk about not listening to your wife!!

 

And "I told her "I dont know what to think right now, I dont know if Im supposed to divorce you and find another wife that wants to have a temple marriage with me...?????...I really dont know what to say, I guess I'll continue to ponder/research and pray!""

 

what the??? Dude, seriously, really, I mean really you said this to your wife??? If your wife said the reverse to you, would you be okay with it?  Talk about a way to sabotage your marriage.  How completely egotistical to say to your wife.  I got news for you, there isn't a perfect marriage out there and as just about all divorced individuals can attest to finding "another wife" isn't as easy as you make it sound.  You trade one set of problems for a different set.  Besides the fact that you are not possibly recognizing that since you have kids your wife will always be in your life and she will always have influence over your children.  You can't just cut her off.

 

 

"I am totally capable of doing a 180 and being the "romantic" man, the captain moroni that she always wanted, but allowing that change to happen at this point in time of her rebellion will be further proof to her that she doesnt need to be living a mormon lifestyle for the softening of hearts to occur and the spirit working in our lives."

 

Again, what the. . .. ? So you are going to not become the man God wants you to become simply because it will be further proof to your wife that she is right?

 

"A few months later one of the businesses took off and she was surprised that instead of being cursed we were blessed, eventually when she went anti she used that example of why we dont need to be mormon in order for the lord to watch over us. "

 

The Lord works in mysterious ways, material wealth isn't the only way the Lord blesses or curses us for paying tithing.

 

David O. McKay said "The home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control; the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home"

 

Your business may succeed but you are failing in your home; and in the grand scheme success at home is more important, so I'd say you are getting exactly what you planned on.  You decided tithing wasn't important and material wealth was more important the spiritual and the Lord said: Okay-you got it.  Now you've got it material wealth and a failing marriage.

 

Brother- continuing down the road you are on will lead to a lot of pain and suffering; it is still possible to save your marriage, but you will need to change.

[Leah]

I did not say that the blessings of "financial success" was a direct result from the act of "not paying tithing".

 

Those are two totally separate events that coincidently happened around the same time.

 

cmon understand the conversation before you go making judgements. I also clearly stated that I attribute the success of the business to years of "trial and error/hardwork" in which I was inspired and blessed with health and strength by Heavenly Father to work toward, therefore attributing all things good to God regardless of my sins and shortcomings.

 

Do you not think that we should recognize God and his hand in all things that are good? My financial success is a good thing in which I am able to get my kid braces, buy them each laptops for their school work, pay for after school activities etc..

[believingisachoice]

Red Alert! Your wife threw a spiritual grenade in the middle of your family! Take cover!

 

The actions of people speak louder than their words. All of the terrible deeds that you listed that your wife did are going to destoy your life and the life of your children. I would make plans to leave her immediately.

 

You said "it's either her or my church". Errr....LEAVE HER! Frame it this way. Stay with emotionally disturb woman vs. celestial kingdom.

 

Temple sealings are only a benefit to people who like each other. Your wife can be replaced with a new one, but your testimony and eternal salvation is kind of a one and done opportunity. Good luck!

[yjacket]

Red Alert! Your wife threw a spiritual grenade in the middle of your family! Take cover!

 

The actions of people speak louder than their words. All of the terrible deeds that you listed that your wife did are going to destoy your life and the life of your children. I would make plans to leave her immediately.

 

You said "it's either her or my church". Errr....LEAVE HER! Frame it this way. Stay with emotionally disturb woman vs. celestial kingdom.

 

Temple sealings are only a benefit to people who like each other. Your wife can be replaced with a new one, but your testimony and eternal salvation is kind of a one and done opportunity. Good luck!

 

The scriptures disagree with you: 1 Corinthians 7:12-14

 

12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Edited October 6, 2014 by yjacket

[Guest Godless]

Red Alert! Your wife threw a spiritual grenade in the middle of your family! Take cover!

The actions of people speak louder than their words. All of the terrible deeds that you listed that your wife did are going to destoy your life and the life of your children. I would make plans to leave her immediately.

Wow, alarmist much? We're talking about a woman who is doubting her faith, not the Anti-Christ. This can be overcome without destroying the family. Not easily, but it's definitely possible.

You said "it's either her or my church". Errr....LEAVE HER! Frame it this way. Stay with emotionally disturb woman vs. celestial kingdom.

Emotionally disturbed??? She decided that mormonism isn't for her. I don't see how that constitutes "emotionally disturbed". By that standard, I've been "emotionally disturbed" for the last 10 years. And let's pretend for a second that you're right, and she is going through emotional distress. Is that a reason to bail on a marriage? Do you just pack up and quit when your partner hits a rough patch? I know for a fact that that is very far from what your church teaches.

Temple sealings are only a benefit to people who like each other. Your wife can be replaced with a new one, but your testimony and eternal salvation is kind of a one and done opportunity. Good luck!

We're talking about a person here, not a car. Acting on your extremely alarmist stance would be an unbelievably selfish and unChrist-like thing to do. I'm not saying that divorce is off the table. But you seem awfully quick to hit the panic button when the proper solution is for all parties involved to address the issue in a loving and humble manner. Maybe his marriage can't be fixed, but he has a moral obligation to his family to try his best.

The one element you seem to be neglecting in your fire-and-brimstone piece of advice is the children. If this marriage ends in divorce, the OP may be able to find a new wife, but his children are still going to have their apostate mother as a strong influence in their lives. What kind of influence do you think she'll have if she's been cast aside by her ex-husband for the sake of his faith? How do you think their kids will feel about the church that, as they will likely see it, tore their family apart? Actions that destroy families have long-term consequences. Ugly ends tend to have ugly aftermath.

Edited October 7, 2014 by Godless

[Windseeker]

Red Alert! Your wife threw a spiritual grenade in the middle of your family! Take cover!

 

The actions of people speak louder than their words. All of the terrible deeds that you listed that your wife did are going to destoy your life and the life of your children. I would make plans to leave her immediately.

 

You said "it's either her or my church". Errr....LEAVE HER! Frame it this way. Stay with emotionally disturb woman vs. celestial kingdom.

 

Temple sealings are only a benefit to people who like each other. Your wife can be replaced with a new one, but your testimony and eternal salvation is kind of a one and done opportunity. Good luck!

 

Curious as to where our command to Love fits into this little scheme of yours.

 

Love her Mother

 

Something to consider anyway.

[yjacket]

Curious as to where our command to Love fits into this little scheme of yours.

 

Love her Mother

 

Something to consider anyway.

 

Yeap.  I subscribe to the John Rosemond philosophy of parenting.  His books have saved me a lot of pain and suffering.  He claims that one of the best things a father can do for his family is to love his wife and show his children that he loves her.

[Guest]

I love my husband very much.  I made the covenant to God (not to my husband as covenants are between God and me) to love him forever when we faced the Justice of the Peace (before I got baptized).  When we got sealed, I made the covenant to God (not to my husband) to love him through eternity.

 

If I ever wake up tomorrow and find out he is Dexter the Serial Killer, it will not change the covenant I made.  I still love him.  I may have to do a whole bunch of protecting myself and the children moves but this still does not change the covenant I made to God.

 

I love him and I made that covenant to God to love him.  What does Love mean?  Simply put, it is my intense desire born out of my own free will to bring my husband and myself closer to Christ.  Love is not always roses and chocolates.  Love is sometimes having to carry that cross to follow Christ.

 

Now, God's part in the covenant will always be there - He will not take it from me.  The only reason it will not be fulfilled is if I don't do my part of the covenant... And anything my husband does cannot break that covenant.  I'm the only one that can do that.  So... if I wake up tomorrow to find out my husband is Dexter the Serial Killer, my question is not should I keep my covenant or break my covenant?  My question is how can I fulfill my covenant to bring my serial killing husband and myself closer to Christ?  If the answer is to legally and physically protect myself and my children from my husband by leaving him, then that's the choice.  It still doesn't mean I am not going to work towards bringing him and myself closer to Christ though.  It just means it is going to be a lot harder to do.  But then, I love him.  And if Christ can die on the cross because of His love for me, doing a lot harder things is nothing compared.

 

But, that's me.

Edited October 7, 2014 by anatess

[priesthoodpower]

I love my husband very much.  I made the covenant to God (not to my husband as covenants are between God and me) to love him forever when we faced the Justice of the Peace (before I got baptized).  When we got sealed, I made the covenant to God (not to my husband) to love him through eternity.

Thanks for that reminder I needed to hear that.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I love my husband very much.  I made the covenant to God (not to my husband as covenants are between God and me) to love him forever when we faced the Justice of the Peace (before I got baptized).  When we got sealed, I made the covenant to God (not to my husband) to love him through eternity.

 

If I ever wake up tomorrow and find out he is Dexter the Serial Killer, it will not change the covenant I made.  I still love him.  I may have to do a whole bunch of protecting myself and the children moves but this still does not change the covenant I made to God.

 

Anatess, this is such a great post.  I never thought of it quite this way before, but now that you mention it, I heartily agree.  It reminds me of Carolyn Pearson's book, "Good Bye, I Love You" about her marriage, and later divorce because her husband was homosexual (and decided he wanted to pursue that lifestyle).  It's been 20+ years since I read it, but I still remember clearly what the Spirit said to her about the divorce, "Don't let him go, until you can let him go with love."

And that is what she did.  She transformed her love for him into loving him like a brother, and when he became sick with AIDS she took him into her home and nursed him until he died.

Your post really helps me understand why that was so important.  And yeah...this means what you said will likely stick with me for the next 20 years or more. :)  

[priesthoodpower]

.

 

 

Edited August 10, 2020 by priesthoodpower

[priesthoodpower]

So the past couple of weeks have seen its ups and downs but we are hanging in there.

 

Edited August 10, 2020 by priesthoodpower

[Windseeker]

That's great to hear. I am a very affectionate guy, my problem was not spending enough alone time with my wife. So make sure you are getting out with her and having fun. 

 

If you haven't read the 5 Love Languages I would recommend that. Also another book I thought was awesome that also helped me in my marriage is The Peacegiver. 

 

If you didn't get a chance to listen to Elder Oaks Talk this last conference entitled Loving Others and Living with Differences, I would listen to it. It has just as much to with our family relationships and relationships between ward members as it has to do with relationships with those outside our family and wards.

 

It's always nice to hear updates. Thanks.

[priesthoodpower]

update: its been almost two months now and its really been feeling like a transition process.

Edited August 10, 2020 by priesthoodpower