Bishop - Taking Away a Temple Recommend?

[Grunt]

Why so much anxiety over meeting the Bishop?  Is this normal, or are you normally like this (not meant as an insult.  The Bishop asked to meet with ME a few weeks ago and my wife was sick about it.  It's her personality.  She gets nervous about everything).  

[skippy740]

Being called to the Bishop's office is like being called to the principal's office - at least that's what it feels like to me.  I don't know if that'll ever go away for me.

[Grunt]

  On 9/23/2017 at 7:04 PM, skippy740 said:

Being called to the Bishop's office is like being called to the principal's office - at least that's what it feels like to me.  I don't know if that'll ever go away for me.

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Interesting.  That seems like an odd relationship in a religion to me.  The Bishop cares about you.  He's there to help you in any way he can.  Come to think of it, I don't particularly worry about any mortal. Maybe I'm the odd one.

Edited September 23, 2017 by Grunt

[Jane_Doe]

  On 9/23/2017 at 6:55 PM, Grunt said:

Why so much anxiety over meeting the Bishop?  Is this normal, or are you normally like this (not meant as an insult.  The Bishop asked to meet with ME a few weeks ago and my wife was sick about it.  It's her personality.  She gets nervous about everything).  

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Some people just get nervous.  I'm personally like "ok Bishop wants to chat.  Cool.  Let's figure out a time that works for both of us" and then give it zero thought until I'm there.

[Guest MormonGator]

  On 9/23/2017 at 8:20 PM, Grunt said:

Interesting.  That seems like an odd relationship in a religion to me.  The Bishop cares about you.  He's there to help you in any way he can.  Come to think of it, I particularly worry about any mortal. Maybe I'm the odd one.

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My thoughts totally. 

[skippy740]

  On 9/23/2017 at 8:20 PM, Grunt said:

Interesting.  That seems like an odd relationship in a religion to me.  The Bishop cares about you.  He's there to help you in any way he can.  Come to think of it, I particularly worry about any mortal. Maybe I'm the odd one.

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I've had questionable relations with Bishops in the past.  I've been yelled at by a member of my Stake Presidency - and had my membership status questioned (he and the entire Stake Presidency has since been released a couple of years ago - and my then Bishop was called to be the Stake President).  I'm not always a "by-the-book" member of the Church.  I haven't had any problems with leadership for a while, but that doesn't make the feeling automatically go away.

I'm not saying my perspective is right.  I'm saying that it's how *I* feel.  Sometimes I just don't like "authority" "over me".  It may not make logical sense, but to me "no news is good news" from my church leaders - unless I initiate the appointment.  (Maybe I just like having certainty in my life, and being called into the Bishop's office for an UNKNOWN reason is just another variable that I cannot control and it makes me nervous until it's over and done with.)

[Guest MormonGator]

  On 9/23/2017 at 10:18 PM, skippy740 said:

I've had questionable relations with Bishops in the past.  I've been yelled at by a member of my Stake Presidency - and had my membership status questioned (he and the entire Stake Presidency has since been released a couple of years ago - and my then Bishop was called to be the Stake President).  I'm not always a "by-the-book" member of the Church.  I haven't had any problems with leadership for a while, but that doesn't make the feeling automatically go away.

I'm not saying my perspective is right.  I'm saying that it's how *I* feel.  Sometimes I just don't like "authority" "over me".  It may not make logical sense, but to me "no news is good news" from my church leaders - unless I initiate the appointment.  (Maybe I just like having certainty in my life, and being called into the Bishop's office for an UNKNOWN reason is just another variable that I cannot control and it makes me nervous until it's over and done with.)

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If anyone yelled at me, I'd yell right back. Totally unacceptable. 

[zil]

  On 9/23/2017 at 10:18 PM, skippy740 said:

Sometimes I just don't like "authority" "over me". 

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  Quote

Conspicuously lacking in the divine hierarchy is any sense of rank or class. Obedience and subordination in nowise jeopardize individual freedom and leadership and command, and in no way impose dictatorship as long as the whole concern of those above is to reach down in love to those below, and those below strive to rise in love to those above. (Moses 1:38-39.)

Old Testament And Related Studies, Chapter 6: Unrolling the Scrolls--Some Forgotten Witnesses, Hugh Nibley

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You can find that book here (when the database is working): https://publications.mi.byu.edu/people/hugh-nibley/

Just something to ponder in your spare time.

[skippy740]

  On 9/23/2017 at 10:57 PM, MormonGator said:

If anyone yelled at me, I'd yell right back. Totally unacceptable. 

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He knows that he can be unreasonable at times, and usually will apologize for it about twice a year in testimony meeting.  Doesn't make it right, but he knows his own failings.

[Grunt]

  On 9/23/2017 at 10:57 PM, MormonGator said:

If anyone yelled at me, I'd yell right back. Totally unacceptable. 

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I have far too many years as an NCO to take someone yelling at me.  

[Guest MormonGator]

  On 9/23/2017 at 11:28 PM, skippy740 said:

He knows that he can be unreasonable at times, and usually will apologize for it about twice a year in testimony meeting.  Doesn't make it right, but he knows his own failings.

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  On 9/23/2017 at 11:28 PM, Grunt said:

I have far too many years as an NCO to take someone yelling at me.  

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99% of the time, the person who does the yelling loses.

[Grunt]

  On 9/23/2017 at 11:35 PM, MormonGator said:

 

99% of the time, the person who does the yelling loses.

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My wife says when I'm displeased I switch into my "Sergeant Grunt Voice".   She's amazed at the reaction people have to it when they don't know me.  It's not a conscious thing at all.

[Guest MormonGator]

  On 9/23/2017 at 11:40 PM, Grunt said:

My wife says when I'm displeased I switch into my "Sergeant Grunt Voice".   She's amazed at the reaction people have to it when they don't know me.  It's not a conscious thing at all.

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When I'm angry/displeased my wit goes from "caustic" to "hurtful" to "cruel". So maybe I should switch to yelling. 

[Grunt]

  On 9/23/2017 at 11:44 PM, MormonGator said:

When I'm angry/displeased my wit goes from "caustic" to "hurtful" to "cruel". So maybe I should switch to yelling. 

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No, you just need to change your delivery so you're laughing inside but they are unaware you throttled them.

[a mustard seed]

  On 9/23/2017 at 4:12 PM, Vort said:

This was my thought. Either the bishop has seen that you're stressed and wants to talk with you, or he's going to call you to something. In any case, don't worry! (At least, don't worry the way you were worrying...you might instead worry about what he's going to call you to.)

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>,< You and @skippy740 called it. He had intended to call me as an FHE something or nother but with my schedule, it kind of makes things difficult. So, he called me as the ward indexer instead. I am relieved and a bit excited to get started.

@Grunt The anxiety has very little to do with the bishop, so, please don't take my reactions as being indicative of members reactions as a whole towards their bishops. I fact, it is because I have been so close with my branch presidents/bishops in the past that I am feeling so anxious right now. I've had a conversation with this bishop once before and then I stopped coming to church frequently. The last time I stopped attending church, it was by choice and I went inactive for 8 years. He probably has no idea about my history but I was anxious about everybody thinking this was "Falling Away II" or something. Because it makes me sad to have to work on Sundays at all, and missing church on top of it? I didn't want this man whom doesn't know me very well to assume that I didn't care or wasn't trying. And it was my own stress and expectations that led me to be so anxious about this "vague meeting" with the Bishop. Not him nor his station. The topic of the thread too was indicative of my stress about "I'm not doing what I am supposed to be doing right now and everybody will assume it's because I'm being deliberately bad!!! Oh no!!!" insecurities.

My bishop is such a loving and kind man and I could see it in his face as he deliberated right in front of me what he could give me to do. Because he loves me and cares about me and doesn't want to lose me. He wants me to feel included and connected and I just truly appreciate him being a man worthy of inspiration from the Spirit like that. Thak you all for the encouragement and being patient with me, lol.

[Guest MormonGator]

  On 9/24/2017 at 1:16 AM, a mustard seed said:

Thak you all for the encouragement and being patient with me, lol.

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We all love how sweet you are @a mustard seed. It's no problem at all. 

Be sure to be patient with yourself too. 

[Jane_Doe]

  On 9/24/2017 at 1:16 AM, a mustard seed said:

>,< You and @skippy740 called it. He had intended to call me as an FHE something or nother but with my schedule, it kind of makes things difficult. So, he called me as the ward indexer instead. I am relieved and a bit excited to get started.

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Indexing is fun!  And it's super laid back too: do it whenever you want, wherever you want.  

[NightSG]

  On 9/23/2017 at 8:20 PM, Grunt said:

Interesting.  That seems like an odd relationship in a religion to me. 

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Bishop has callings to hand out.

[Still_Small_Voice]

I have never in my thirty plus years as a member of the Latter-Day Saint church had a Bishop yell at me.  Many times my experience with a Bishop is one of accountability and the LORD calling me to be a better Saint.  I believe some of my weaknesses will be lifelong that will go with me through this mortal life.  But everything will be able to be overcome in the LORD so long as we humble ourselves and call on Him and strive to put Him first.  Praise the LORD for his mercy and long suffering toward us.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

  On 9/23/2017 at 11:50 PM, Grunt said:

No, you just need to change your delivery so you're laughing inside but they are unaware you throttled them.

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This reminds me of a t-shirt I saw the other day:

"Sarcasm: because sometimes people don't need to know you're insulting them."  LOL.  

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

  On 9/23/2017 at 8:20 PM, Grunt said:

Interesting.  That seems like an odd relationship in a religion to me.  The Bishop cares about you.  He's there to help you in any way he can.  Come to think of it, I don't particularly worry about any mortal. Maybe I'm the odd one.

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You sound like my husband.  He doesn't seem to care what anyone thinks of him except the Lord, and me.   
 

[Grunt]

  On 9/24/2017 at 9:52 PM, LiterateParakeet said:

You sound like my husband.  He doesn't seem to care what anyone thinks of him except the Lord, and me.   
 

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Sounds like a smart man.  I'm not very easily intimidated.  I'm a man.  I put on my pants just like everyone else.

[Grunt]

  On 9/24/2017 at 9:50 PM, LiterateParakeet said:

This reminds me of a t-shirt I saw the other day:

"Sarcasm: because sometimes people don't need to know you're insulting them."  LOL.  

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Exactly!  My wife is perpetually mortified because I talk about things in public that shouldn't be talked about, but in a way that only she knows what I'm saying and everyone else thinks I'm talking about something else.  I don't know why she stays with me.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

  On 9/24/2017 at 11:28 PM, Grunt said:

Exactly!  My wife is perpetually mortified because I talk about things in public that shouldn't be talked about, but in a way that only she knows what I'm saying and everyone else thinks I'm talking about something else.  I don't know why she stays with me.

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LOL, my husband does that too!