Dr T Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 These are to be lame, dud or horrible jokes only. I get a kick out of them sometimes. I'll start: Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines! Quote
Canuck Mormon Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 Here's one my son loves every time I tell it: Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange Orange who? ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN'T SAY BANANA? And another: Why doesn't the Queen wave with this hand (raise hand and wave like the Queen)? I don't know. BECAUSE IT'S MY HAND SILLY!! Quote
Vanilla Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 This one is from one of my favorite patients....mind you, it is from a 5 year old boy, which makes it okay to laugh... How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into it! Quote
Dr T Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Posted October 15, 2007 hahaha. Thank you for those CM. I'll have to use the second one today. I love it Nilla! Thanks for that one too. Quote
siouxz72 Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 Here were my little brother's two favorite jokes as a kid... Q: What do you say to a blue monster? A: Cheer Up!! Q: Where do sick boats go? A: To the Dock! tee hee! And Bryan's favorite when he was 5.. Knock knock Who's There? Little Old Lady Little Old Lady who? I didn't know you knew how to yodle... hahahahahahah Quote
Dr T Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Posted October 15, 2007 Thanks Siouxz, Those are good. === When is a school paper not a school paper? When it's turned into the teacher. Quote
Palerider Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 Did you hear about the guy who started a Banana factory??? He sent them all back cause they were bent. Quote
Palerider Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 This one is from one of my favorite patients....mind you, it is from a 5 year old boy, which makes it okay to laugh...How do you make a tissue dance?You put a little boogie into it!I will have to use that one myself Quote
Dr T Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Posted October 15, 2007 What do flies wear on their feet? Shoos. Quote
Palerider Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 What do flies wear on their feet? Shoos. LOL!!!!!!!!......thats funny Quote
Dr T Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Posted October 15, 2007 What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument? A tuba toothpaste. Quote
Dr T Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Posted October 15, 2007 (edited) A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents." (tense) Edited July 18, 2012 by Dr T Quote
Gwen Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 my kids current two favorite jokes (from the 6 yr old) what do you find on a haunted beach? a sand-witch (from the 5 yr old) what kind of mistakes do ghosts make? boo boo's my 2 yr old used to try to tell the bannana, bannana, bannana, orange knock knock joke. it came out something like this 2 yr old: knock knock mommy: who's there 2 yr old: orange nanna (followed by her laughter) Quote
Dr T Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Posted October 15, 2007 I can picture children telling those. Thanks ALmom :) === Ask me if I'm a tree. Huh? Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Quote
Acez Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 What do you call a mushroom at a party? Fun-Guy And Why are Pirates good swimmers? I don't know..... they just ARGGHHH!!!! Acez Quote
Dr T Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Posted October 15, 2007 I love those Acez. Thanks for those. I will definitely use them. Quote
onyx Posted October 15, 2007 Report Posted October 15, 2007 A couple from my kids.... What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? Anything you like coz he can't hear you! What do you call an one-legged woman? Eileen! tee hee hee Onyx Quote
pushka Posted October 16, 2007 Report Posted October 16, 2007 Great stuff!! I love jokes, I just can't deliver them! Quote
a-train Posted October 16, 2007 Report Posted October 16, 2007 The new pirate movie is rated Argggh!A gunman was hired to ride shotgun on a stage coach to protect it while travelling through hostile Indian territory. Upon noticing an Indian, the driver said: 'I see one hiding by that tree out yonder! Shoot him!''Naw, I gotta wait. He's still just a little guy.' replied the gunman, holding his fingers about an inch apart to demonstrate how big the target appeared at the end of his sight.After getting closer, the nervous driver yelled: 'OK, Go ahead, he's gotta gun! Shoot him!''Naw, he's still only this big.' said the gunman calmly as he held his fingers about four inches apart.Suddenly the Indian jumped from behind the tree and began to run to the coach. He leaped toward it and grabbed on.'Shoot him already! Shoot him!' screamed the driver.The gunman, with a look of disgust, yelled back: 'I can't shoot that man! I've known him since he was a little guy!'-a-train Quote
prisonchaplain Posted October 16, 2007 Report Posted October 16, 2007 Why did the chicken FAIL to cross the road? He was chicken. Quote
sixpacktr Posted October 16, 2007 Report Posted October 16, 2007 A gunman was hired to ride shotgun on a stage coach to protect it while travelling through hostile Indian territory. Upon noticing an Indian, the driver said: 'I see one hiding by that tree out yonder! Shoot him!''Naw, I gotta wait. He's still just a little guy.' replied the gunman, holding his fingers about an inch apart to demonstrate how big the target appeared at the end of his sight.After getting closer, the nervous driver yelled: 'OK, Go ahead, he's gotta gun! Shoot him!''Naw, he's still only this big.' said the gunman calmly as he held his fingers about four inches apart.Suddenly the Indian jumped from behind the tree and began to run to the coach. He leaped toward it and grabbed on.'Shoot him already! Shoot him!' screamed the driver.The gunman, with a look of disgust, yelled back: 'I can't shoot that man! I've known him since he was a little guy!'-a-trainLOL!! Quote
Jbs2763 Posted October 16, 2007 Report Posted October 16, 2007 when driving past a cemetery in your town (insert kids name here) "why cant people that live in (insert your hometown here) be buried in that cemetry? Because they are still alive silly! Quote
Dr T Posted October 16, 2007 Author Report Posted October 16, 2007 What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? I didn't do it on porpoise. Quote
pushka Posted October 16, 2007 Report Posted October 16, 2007 What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? I didn't do it on porpoise.I see your Gangsta side is coming out now Doc!! Quote
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