Elgama Posted April 9, 2010 Report Posted April 9, 2010 Q What is green and bounces round the garden? A A spring cabbage Quote
Jamie123 Posted April 9, 2010 Report Posted April 9, 2010 Q. What do you get if you put a lighted match down a rabbit hole? A. A hot, cross bunny. ANOTHER VERSION: Q. How do you make a Maltese Cross? A. Drop a lighted match down his shirt. Quote
havejoy Posted April 9, 2010 Report Posted April 9, 2010 How can you tell that an elephant has been in your cupboards? Footprints in the peanut butter. Quote
MisterT Posted April 9, 2010 Report Posted April 9, 2010 What do you get when you combine 50 female pigs and 50 male deer? A hundred sows and bucks. Quote
SeekYourWish Posted April 12, 2010 Report Posted April 12, 2010 Knock Knock! Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub -- I'm dwowning! Quote
daenvgiell Posted April 12, 2010 Report Posted April 12, 2010 Q. What did the man say when he walked into the bar? A. OUCH! Quote
Jamie123 Posted April 12, 2010 Report Posted April 12, 2010 Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Err....yes....that's right. Doctor Who. Quote
Jamie123 Posted April 12, 2010 Report Posted April 12, 2010 How can you tell that an elephant has been in your cupboards?Footprints in the peanut butter.How do you get four elephants in a Mini?Two in the front, two in the back.***How do you tell if two elephants ahave been in your cupboards?Two sets of footprints in the butter.How do you tell if three elephants have been in your cupboards?Three sets of footprints in the butter.How do you tell if four elephants have been in your cupboards?There's a Mini parked outside. Quote
Jamie123 Posted April 12, 2010 Report Posted April 12, 2010 What's white and wears checked trousers? Rupert the Fridge. Quote
Guest Alana Posted April 12, 2010 Report Posted April 12, 2010 The current jokes in our house are: What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence? Time to get a new fence. Why don't bears wear socks? Because they like to have bare feet Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken Guess what?!?! Chicken Butt!!! (This one is said about 6 times a day, for the last year) Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because he was stuck to the chickens foot. Did you know that ninjas aren't evil but pirates ARRRRRR!? What's a pirates favorite letter? Arrrrr! What is a pirates favorite subject? Arrrrrt! What is a pirates favorite animal? A parrot, duh! Quote
Dr T Posted April 13, 2010 Author Report Posted April 13, 2010 "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground." Quote
Jamie123 Posted April 13, 2010 Report Posted April 13, 2010 What's an ig? An eskimo's house without a loo. Quote
Dr T Posted April 14, 2010 Author Report Posted April 14, 2010 Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself? He had no body to go with him. Quote
NeuroTypical Posted April 14, 2010 Report Posted April 14, 2010 What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!" What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming wearing dark sunglasses? Nothing - he didn't recognize them. How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch? Paint his toenails red. Quote
Dr T Posted April 14, 2010 Author Report Posted April 14, 2010 What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him out for a drag. Quote
havejoy Posted April 14, 2010 Report Posted April 14, 2010 What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he's not going to come. Quote
candyprpl Posted April 14, 2010 Report Posted April 14, 2010 What do you call an artic cow? An eskimoooo Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? He was trying to make both ends meet. Why didn't the dog speak to his foot? Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw. What is the dog's favorite city? New Yorkie Where do kids learn the ABC's? At LMN-tary school Why did Tigger look inside the toilet? He was looking for Pooh! Quote
Dr T Posted April 15, 2010 Author Report Posted April 15, 2010 I like it, "Your paw" hahahaha. I'll use that one. Thanks How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb? Quote
Jamie123 Posted April 15, 2010 Report Posted April 15, 2010 What do you call a fly that's lost its wings? A walk Quote
Jamie123 Posted April 15, 2010 Report Posted April 15, 2010 What do you call a man with ten balaclavas on his head? Anything you like, he can't hear you! Quote
scdoyle Posted April 15, 2010 Report Posted April 15, 2010 What do you get when you cross a bear with something stinky? Winnie the Pooh Quote
Dr T Posted April 15, 2010 Author Report Posted April 15, 2010 Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? That's because he hides well. Quote
Dr T Posted April 22, 2010 Author Report Posted April 22, 2010 Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies. Quote
Guest Posted April 22, 2010 Report Posted April 22, 2010 My son likes knock-knock jokes. My son: Knock knock Me: Who's there? My son: Boo. Me: Come in. My son got mad at me. Ooops. He wanted me to so Boo who? So he can say, Please, don't cry! Quote
Dr T Posted April 22, 2010 Author Report Posted April 22, 2010 That is GREAT Anatess! Thanks for that. :) Quote
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