Mountains Out of Molehills

[Guest]

It never ceases to amaze me how much I learn by being a parent.  It seems that any time I do something quite childish, I find myself complaining to the Lord. Why is this so hard?  Why is this so painful?  Why is this... whatever?  Sometimes I find myself thinking... wouldn't it be better if... 

With that last one, the truth is that I rarely can come up with something better than the way things are.  Yes, it may seem like it is difficult, painful, even horrific in life.  But when I consider all the alternatives that I can come up with as well as what I know that the Lord is trying to accomplish here, none of them accomplish his goals.  None of them would bring us to salvation or make us into the people we need to become exalted.

When I find myself in these tirades, I eventually have to calm down and just accept whatever. But I really don't like it and I may grumble.  But then (seriously, within a week) something that my children do (or sometimes, my subordinates at work) makes me shake my head three times.  Once, I'm shaking my head at my child for making such a big deal out of virtually nothing.  They just don't have their priorities straight.  Second, I'm shaking my head at myself for thinking (microcosm/macrocosm) essentially the same thing about another matter.  Third, I'm shaking my head at the Lord saying, "No, I don't need a deeper lesson.  I got it.  Thank you.  Please forgive me.  I'll let it go.  Please help me to help my child let it go as well."

If we keep our eye on celestial glory, it is very easy to just let a lot of things go.  We realize much of our suffering is a) absolutely necessary or b) doesn't really matter.  We so easily get offended at things that don't really matter to the point that we MAGNIFY the hurt to unreasonable levels.  Or we struggle to avoid some trials that would be easier to just simply weather than avoid.

My daughter just fell from her bicycle today.  Yes, it hurt.  I remember how much it hurt.  I fell off my bike many times as a child as well as an adult.  It hurt.  A LOT!  But this particular child tends to play it up more than any other child in my family.  Then to make matters worse, I have to apply antibiotic onto her wounds.  Some are pain free.  Others are painful depending on the particular wound.  When I apply that painful stuff on her she screams like I just cut her arm off.

The older & more mature kids know that the pain is part of the antibiotic.  And they know it is necessary and why.  So they brace themselves.  When we A) understand the nature of what is coming and B) Understand why we have to apply it, we may still need to brace ourselves, but we accept it much more gracefully than if we don't understand why we have such trials.

Quote

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:2

Consider the word "despise".

Quote

1. To contemn; to scorn; to disdain; to have the lowest opinion of.

Fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7.

Else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Matthew 6:24.

2. To abhor.

--Webster's 1828 Dictionary

Jesus despised the shame of his scourging, crucifixion, the agony of Gethsemane, and all the pain that came with the Atonement. But I do not believe it means to abhor (second definition).  I believe it means the first (to ignore and think nothing of).  Today's dictionary combines the two meanings as if they are one.  But in this context (Heb 12:2) what a difference in meaning!

I wonder if spiritual intelligence (i.e. intelligence as defined in the gospel) means that we can hold eternal things paramount and understanding just how insignificant all the rest of our mortal existence really is.

[Guest]

Invictus 

BY WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY
Out of the night that covers me, 
 Black as the pit from pole to pole, 
I thank whatever gods may be 
For my unconquerable soul. 

In the fell clutch of circumstance 
I have not winced nor cried aloud. 
Under the bludgeonings of chance 
My head is bloody, but unbowed. 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears 
Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years 
Finds and shall find me unafraid. 

It matters not how strait the gate, 
How charged with punishments the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate, 
I am the captain of my soul. 

 

[askandanswer]

On 15/03/2018 at 2:46 AM, Carborendum said:

Invictus 
I am the master of my fate, 
I am the captain of my soul. 

 

In the age of data analytics and highly skilled marketers and advertisers, who make a living out of manipulating us, often in ways that are so subtle that we don't even realise we are being manipulated, the above two lines might not contain as much truth as they used to. But they are nice thoughts to believe in.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, askandanswer said:

In the age of data analytics and highly skilled marketers and advertisers, who make a living out of manipulating us, often in ways that are so subtle that we don't even realise we are being manipulated, the above two lines might not contain as much truth as they used to. But they are nice thoughts to believe in.

Believe it or not, that statement is what this poem speaks against. Reacting vs responding.

What is the difference between saying we're manipulated by advertisers vs. saying "That person MADE me so mad" ?

If some maneater tries to seduce you, are you going to say,"She MADE me have an affair" ?  What's the difference between one type of manipulation vs another?

When does it become coercion?  How bad does the coercion need to be where the choice really is out of your hands?

Edited March 16, 2018 by Guest

[zil]

There's this thing, called agency...

[anatess2]

One thing I didn't like about how my parents raised me is they like to tell me "it doesn't hurt" just so I would go and do it.  For example - going to the dentist.  The first time I went to the dentist, my mother told me it doesn't hurt.  Well, the entire building heard my screams because it hurt like the dickens.  Until today, I despise (not abhor) trips to the dentist.

So when my sons got vaccinated, they asked me "Does it hurt?" and because I know my kids are competitive, my answer always is, "It stings.  Some people says it stings a little, some people says it stings a lot.  Let's find out which one it is for you."  And so my kid wants it to sting a lot because he wants to show he's a big boy and can handle things that sting a lot... and it ends up stinging just a little and he's like, well, that was a disappointment. 

I guess we'll find out when my boys have kids and see how they raise them to know if my way turns out better than my mom's way or if they come up with a better way.

Edited March 16, 2018 by anatess2

[NeuroTypical]

I gained a more eternal perspective on things, as I watched my daughter shriek in tortured misery because I wouldn't play the "om nom nom" game with her any more, because we needed to get ready to go.  It struck me that her emotional pain and sense of betrayal was just as valid/real as anyone else's - even those in real pain who had been really betrayed.  Then I thought about exactly how "big" those genuine hurts and betrayals were from an eternal perspective.  

Bam.

[askandanswer]

1 hour ago, zil said:

There's this thing, called agency...

Agency works best for conscious decisions. Effective advertising targets unconscious preferences and ways of acting so that we choose and buy without really thinking about it too much.

Edited March 16, 2018 by askandanswer

[Traveler]

@zil and @askandanswer

I wish I understood better what agency was so I could be sure to know exactly and precisely when I was actually exercising it. 

 

The Traveler

[Traveler]

@Carborendum – I am not sure what is worse.  Making mountains our of mole hills or mole hills out of mountains or not realizing the difference. 

 

The Traveler

[Traveler]

20 minutes ago, changed said:

The older I become, the more I realize it is impossible to know "the whole truth and nothing but the truth" on anything - we are all blind mice... so, err on the side of safety?  or err on the side of ignorance/bliss?  we'll never see the true size of any mountains.. 

No one wants to live as a pessimist, but I think more progress is made by those who make mountains out of mole hills... the gate swings on a small hinge, changing something early is better than ignoring a problem... it is harder to change something than it seems - sometimes it is necessary to look down the road of one path or another... it is not exaggerating, just looking ahead of where a path ultimately leads.

Why do you think you know this stuff any better because you are older? 

 

The Traveler

[seashmore]

Whenever I'm tempted to or realize I am making a mountain out of a molehill, I take a step back and ask myself, "Is this issue going to have any effect on which kingdom I enter into come Judgement Day?"  If the honest answer is no, I let it go.  If the honest answer is yes or maybe, I do what I can to change what I can. 

To help with letting go of the molehills, one of my sayings is, "Fix it and forget about it.  And if you can't fix it, just forget about it."  Even if I'm alone and thinking about whatever molehill, I'll physically shrug my shoulders as a way to signify to myself that I've shrugged it off, once I've done all that I can.  Some things that I get upset about are under my control, and some are not.  It's okay to feel angry (or any other negative emotion) about something, but it's not a good idea to stay that way. 

The first lesson I taught in Primary (as a sub) was to the Sunbeam class (of one that day) and was titled: I Have Feelings
https://www.lds.org/manual/primary-1/lesson-21?lang=eng

[Guest]

I'm yet again finding myself making mountains out of molehills. And, yet again, by seeing it in my kids, I feel the need to repent.

I was and still am having a tough time because... reasons.  But I see my kids say that I'm being unfair because I won't let them download an add-on to a game they have.  My reason is that the security system has categorized it as adware/spyware.  So, I'm not letting them have it.

I wonder about some of the things going on in my life right now.  Things are not going swimmingly, I'll put it that way.  And I think most adults would find this all to be very troubling.  But when I consider how childish my children are being by putting so much emphasis on a "stupid game" I wonder if adults put so much emphasis on "stupid mortal concerns" that our Heavenly Father is rolling his eyes at us and shaking his head when we are so involved with the concerns of this life, not realizing his more important concerns.

[zil]

2 hours ago, Carborendum said:

I'm yet again finding myself making mountains out of molehills.

As I read this just now, the thought occurred to me just how difficult this would be as a literal action.  Even if we're talking about the elevations that some people think of as mountains (but which the Rocky Mountains look down on as hills, and the Alps and Himalayas look down on as bumps), to physically start with a molehill and build that up into a mountain would be more work than a lone human even with a backhoe and a bulldozer could manage.  So why do we find the mental manipulation so easy?  (Rhetorical question.)  Regardless, the comparison does seem to help emphasize how silly and wasteful it is to engage in such mental contortions.  (Not that it'll stop us, I think - this must be a natural man thing.)  </rambling>

[person0]

13 minutes ago, zil said:

. . . </rambling>

[zil]

14 minutes ago, person0 said:

It was HTML, silly.

[person0]

11 minutes ago, zil said:

It was HTML, silly.

 

[zil]

Just now, person0 said:

 

Hey, I'm not the one posting an angry face yelling - I'm thinking you were making a mountain out of my molehill.

[seashmore]

13 hours ago, zil said:

As I read this just now, the thought occurred to me just how difficult this would be as a literal action.  Even if we're talking about the elevations that some people think of as mountains (but which the Rocky Mountains look down on as hills, and the Alps and Himalayas look down on as bumps), to physically start with a molehill and build that up into a mountain would be more work than a lone human even with a backhoe and a bulldozer could manage.  So why do we find the mental manipulation so easy?  (Rhetorical question.)  Regardless, the comparison does seem to help emphasize how silly and wasteful it is to engage in such mental contortions.  (Not that it'll stop us, I think - this must be a natural man thing.)  </rambling>

Now I want to find and rewatch "The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain." 

But I thought about mountains v. molehills a little today.  In my work, we have very few concerns that qualify as mountains.  Yet, a couple of my coworkers seem to be so interested in mountain climbing that they will turn anything into a mountain.  And they seem almost offended when I don't.  Our manager is of the molehill mindset and it's because she takes a step back and looks at the bigger picture.  The two mountaineers almost always have a very narrow focus on everything.  I suppose if you were to look at anthill through a magnifying glass, it may look like a mountain.

[wenglund]

Could it be that we make mountains out of mole hills because we don't have any actual mountains in our life?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[Guest]

7 hours ago, wenglund said:

Could it be that we make mountains out of mole hills because we don't have any actual mountains in our life?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

It could be that as we climb the mountain of our life, it's hard enough. The to see a molehill ON the mountain, it is just adding insult to injury and serving to impede our journey up the mountain.

[wenglund]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

It could be that as we climb the mountain of our life, it's hard enough. The to see a molehill ON the mountain, it is just adding insult to injury and serving to impede our journey up the mountain.

Undoubtedly, it seems that way at times.

As someone who has done a fair amount of hiking in his day (literally and figuratively), the mountain experience isn't without its wondrous beauty , spectacular vistas, and exhilarating surprises around the bend and over the crests.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[Guest]

30 minutes ago, wenglund said:

Undoubtedly, it seems that way at times.

As someone who has done a fair amount of hiking in his day (literally and figuratively), the mountain experience isn't without its wondrous beauty , spectacular vistas, and exhilarating surprises around the bend and over the crests.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I remember one particular hike I had up a very steep mountain.  It was the steepest I ever hiked (without it becoming a "climb").  My wife was about ready to give up several times.  But I kept going because I ignored anything that came up.  I just moved around or over it.  I kept focused on counting the number of steps simply because I was curious how long the hike was.   No one was able to tell us.

Arriving at the summit I collapsed because I was no longer focused on counting, I realized just how exhausted I was.  I took a nap for about two hours.  My wife (who had taken several rest breaks along the way) was tired, but she did not collapse.

I wonder if we would find the journey of life more tolerable if we just focused on getting to the top instead of how hard it is or on every obstacle in our path.  It is also nice to take a look at the view along the way.

[wenglund]

43 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

I wonder if we would find the journey of life more tolerable if we just focused on getting to the top instead of how hard it is or on every obstacle in our path.  It is also nice to take a look at the view along the way.

That saying belongs on a poster--or T-shirts for my next group hike. []thumbs up]

Thanks, -Wade Englund- 

[wenglund]

One of the dysfunctional quirks of human nature is that we tend to make mountains out of negative molehills rather than positive molehills.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-