Returning Wanderer?

[OhThatMatty]

Folks, I could use some help. I had my name removed from church membership back in 2012. I was not under any kind of disciplinary action at that time, and have since never publicly opposed the church. However, I have flirted with returning to the Church a couple of times...

 

Here is my conundrum. I am gay. I have been in a couple of relationships since I last attempted to return to the Church....I can be chaste. I've done it before. But the possibility of letting up would always be in the back of my mind, especially if progressing toward priesthood, the temple, etc. 

Could anyone offer any advice? I realize I have the agency to use in deciding whether or not to return. One friend who is still active even toldme it may be better to just stay away and let Heavenly Father make everything right in the next life...

Edited August 31, 2018 by OhThatMatty
correcting typo

[mrmarklin]

I would re join the church so you can begin your Eternal progression. 

It will be difficult as as a gay person you will be required to be chaste. But I believe your rewards would be worth it. 

[OhThatMatty]

Thanks for the feedback, sir! I am supposed to meet with the Elders this Saturday. I won't lie, the some time difficulties with chastity aside, it can also be hard constantly around married people, most of whom have children, when you're one of few singles in the entire ward. Now, my local ward has a lot of couples where one spouse (usually the wife) is a convert, while the other (usually the husband) is a non-member. It's interesting that these individuals are in a similar predicament to me....they can't be sealed in this life, unless their spouses convert.

Edited August 31, 2018 by OhThatMatty
correcting typo

[Jane_Doe]

2 hours ago, OhThatMatty said:

Thanks for the feedback, sir! I am supposed to meet with the Elders this Saturday. I won't lie, the some time difficulties with chastity aside, it can also be hard constantly around married people, most of whom have children, when you're one of few singles in the entire ward. Now, my local ward has a lot of couples where one spouse (usually the wife) is a convert, while the other (usually the husband) is a non-member. It's interesting that these individuals are in a similar predicament to me....they can't be sealed in this life, unless their spouses convert.

Haha, I'm a LDS lady married to an Evangelical dude.  For me, there's a lot of trust in God that he'll come around (in this life or the next).  I could see how that is similar to your situation, but also how it's different.

[Lost Boy]

10 hours ago, OhThatMatty said:

Folks, I could use some help. I had my name removed from church membership back in 2012. I was not under any kind of disciplinary action at that time, and have since never publicly opposed the church. However, I have flirted with returning to the Church a couple of times...

 

Here is my conundrum. I am gay. I have been in a couple of relationships since I last attempted to return to the Church....I can be chaste. I've done it before. But the possibility of letting up would always be in the back of my mind, especially if progressing toward priesthood, the temple, etc. 

Could anyone offer any advice? I realize I have the agency to use in deciding whether or not to return. One friend who is still active even toldme it may be better to just stay away and let Heavenly Father make everything right in the next life...

You have to really evaluate why you want to come back.  Do you want to come back because it is comfortable and you remember feeling good at church, or do you really have a testimony of the church and our saviour?  If the later, you have to commit to the no gay love way of life for life.

It is the right thing to do, but it may be an absolutely hard thing to do.  You don't want to commit to something that you are not going to keep.  Only you and the Lord can determine this.  Re-join when you get this confirmation.

As for being single in the church, most of us don't care if you are married or single.  There will always be the nosey person.  Hopefully that won't deter you in your decision making.  I travel to Japan often and I stick out like a sore thumb.  There are many that stare at me.  But I still enjoy going.  I ignore those that stare and enjoy the friendships that I have there.  Life is not what people think about you.

[Grunt]

On 8/31/2018 at 1:03 AM, OhThatMatty said:

 It's interesting that these individuals are in a similar predicament to me....they can't be sealed in this life, unless their spouses convert.

 

That's me, only my wife isn't a member.  She's an active participant, though.  

In my ward people don't care if you're married or single.  They just care that you're trying to be more like the Christ.  We all have "crosses to bear".  We all sin.  

It certainly won't be easy for you, but there isn't much in this life that IS easy.  I don't see how we can ever go wrong if we are trying our best to follow Heavenly Father, providing we are sincere in our attempt.   In my opinion, those who think "I'll just sin now and hope Heavenly Father sorts it out beyond the veil" are going to be judged more harshly than those that gave constant, sincere efforts to endure to the end.  Just my opinion.

[Overwatch]

Matty,

Come home. It is better to die trying than to go off into dark forbidden paths alone where the darkness will not provide any comfort but rather laugh in your face when you fall. It will be hard but just keep trying and praying. The Lord knows us personally and trials we go through will help us grow. The spirit is calling, answer the call; come home and be with your family again.

[Iggy]

Have you read this: https://www.lds.org/topics/same-sex-attraction?lang=eng

Do so, ponder and pray about it, then go talk with your Bishop so that he can help you with your decision.

Whether your name is on the records or not, YOU are still God's child.

[Sunday21]

@OhThatMatty So pleased to have you back! We love you! Celibacy is hard. Being single is tough. When you are single it is like driving a crappy car, you feel every bump in the road. But there are things worse than being single,  like being trapped in a loveless marriage, being married to an irresponsible or spiteful person. Buck up, go to activities and make friends. So glad to have you back! ❤️ 

[OhThatMatty]

Thank you, everyone for the wonderful replies! Not trying to sound needy or anything, but I often struggle with loneliness and depression as well. It's nice to know that my struggles ade understood and somewhat appreciated, even if from a distance. If you can, please keep me in your prayers as I navigate this. I just had a talk with the missionaries today. I'm actually venturing into Sacrament Meeting tomorrow. 

[OhThatMatty]

I just moved into a new apartment about a month ago, and still haven't retrieved all my clothes (including dress shirts and ties) from my folks' residence. I hope my ward won't care, but due to those circumstances, I may be casual in the morning...lol.

[Guest MormonGator]

On 9/1/2018 at 7:57 AM, Grunt said:

They just care that you're trying to be more like the Christ.

Beautifully said my friend.