dazed-and-confused

maya...is the school your friend going to on 25 or 26 street? i used to live on 24 st., between 7-8 ave.

maya, i KNOW you'll love NYC, but as to a place to stay, i can't help you. wouldn't it be nice if a member from NYC or the surrounding area could put you up for helping with the bills? good luck. i'm from NYC so while you're there or when you get back i want all the details. p.s. i now live in florida.

welcome, erik

welcome.

great to meet you and see you here. welcome.

'sup,Tonk?

welcome.

lol...you are so girly. ahem, it's nice, tho'.

i take trazodone......thank HF for trazodone...lol.

i have read so many of these posts regarding worthiness, forgiveness, repentance, etc., but this really seems to me to be an issue of compatability and personal trust.

Miss Halfway read my mind.....thank you, Miss Halfway

'sup?

i am very sorry to read of you perdicament (spelling??..lol). i really can't imagine the drain, physically, emotionally and spiritually being placed upon you. i see that you have already met and received some great responses by really good people. i believe that the friends you make here will bring some measure of strength and guidance to you. welcome.

my friend, i can't help but be reminded of something you had written in another forum concerning your previous (to being LDS) experiences with romance. i just wonder how in touch with your own feelings you are, not wanting to repeat history. you do need to know this man better, and also be sure that you know yourself as well. btw, that smile on your face is all i'd ever like to see, so good luck.

Harlem Nocturn...Boots Randolph

i not only endorse the idea, i'm a practicioner as well, whatever THAT'S worth...lol.

lol...i remenber when kirk said that. personally, i dislike the term "Mormon Church" because it can too easily be mistaken to mean that it is literally, Mormon's church. i much perfer Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but almost always say the LDS church. if they don't know what it is, and most people i talk to DO know, i simply tell them the church's full name. we may be called Mormons, but our church is still The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as far as i'm concerned.

there have been other posts along these lines placed here. i think you need to address these issues within yourself. that being said, and it is a very vague statement, different issues may come up. 1. to be very blunt about it, you waited, she didn't. it's not entirely about forgiveness or worthyness, but about inner strength and commitment. are you sure you want to marry a woman who might be l lacking in one or the other? 2. what is it within you that makes you jealous, the fact that you were not the first? fact is, being first with each other can build a very strong union between a couple, a spiritual bond in fact, if you are both open and strong enough to make it more a spiritual experience than a sexual one. that having been said, just because one of you is not a virgin does not have to interfere with the POTENTIAL of experiencing making love as a spiritual act (i'm not saying intensely emotional, or feeling awesomely close, but a true meditative, spiritual act.....although the other stuff is really good too...lol). 3. might there be some sense of fear or intimdation with the fact that she didn't "do it" a couple of times, but did if fact...well....you said "over some months", right? so, she might be more "experienced" than you?...or perhaps wondering, or mentally picturing what may have transpired and how you might compare? i did not mention anything concerning what she did exactly, because, of course, this is about you, not her. don't forget, as was said earlier, time does heal, but BE healed before you decide. people CAN learn from their mistakes, but some mistakes can leave scars or even open wounds that the barer may not be fully aware of, so it is a "healing in progress" for them.....nothing wrong with if there is strength and commitment with both parties to deal with and overcome it. growth along emotional and sexual AND spiritual levels is painful, and inspiring, and wonderful (after the pain,lol), and THESE things build a very strong bond...or weaken it....and sometimes both (yes, life is difficult at times....lol). forgiveness is a strengthening exercise and so is understanding. you already know that you have some issues about what happened with her. can you discuss this with her and can she understand that you HAVE issues about it. frankly, i think that if either one or the other has a problem talking about this to the point of avoidance, it's a sign of wound between both of you that might verywell fester. don't look at yourself in a way you WANT to be.....but the way you ARE. same for you looking at her she looking at herself. don't forget that in a mere ten years, that you both might be different people, growing apart, or growing together. you can give the nickel to lucy over by that stand over there. tell it's from charlie brown.....good grief (sigh).

hmmm, didn't realize they were from kansas.

welcome......uh, personne is french and working on her english......

welcome, welcome......LOTS of good posts here, and intellegent, friendly people.

okay....so i got frustrated by this post...it's an old story for me. i want to apologize for my comment. we ALL have the good and the bad in us. most sorry HF, and i ask for Your forgiveness.

i thought that was a social commentators job?

thanks for reminding me how much i loathe lawyers.......oops, thats not really fair......i just loathe law-prostitutes.

welcome, welcome.