mrmarklin

A person who would give you such an ultimatum is the love of your life??? Can someone - anyone explain this in a rational manner to me???? I really have a hard time with this. OP, I hope you never have children with this man, because you are heading for a life of big problems.

I don't know how old you were when you got married, and I'm sorry for your situation. But I was too young, and didn't see the red flags (actually I saw them, but didn't recognize the significance). Not sure I would recognize them now if I hadn't gone through what we have done together, because I read a lot of things that ordinarily I wouldn't. I'm very lucky, as we have been able to have a long and now better marraige because some of the things that caused problems such as finances, etc are now off the table as arguing points.

Begin in the church of course!! That is usually the source of most people who you would want to date. And the church has a lot of activities that lead to friendships, and ultimately dating and marraige.:) Next would be to join a club that meets your personal needs and interests. Again, these organizations lead to friendships etc. in a totally non-threatening way. And even better, you'll have something in common with the people you meet. I joined a hobby club 25 years ago (not for marraige purposes, I was already married)and it has been the source of very good friendships literally all over the world for both myself and my wife.

Well, Parakeet My intention was not to offend, but perhaps help others. We all make decisions in life, and most of us marry too young to understand the consequences of the choices we may make. I realize that it's not my wife's fault that she is the way she is. If it wasn't for the church she could only have been worse. She doesn't have the attributes of the OPs wife (a very common attribute in these cases), but there are certainly other behaviors that if I had been able to see the signs (which were there) before I was married I would have avoided. After all who would knowingly marry someone with a behavior such as Tourettes for example?? Maybe some would, but not me. There are enough problems in life, that to deliberately enter into them seems a little silly. Yeah, 20-20 hindsight is very enlightening.

This is some of my point. Why would anyone marry in this artificial environment (of college)? I did it, and the road was not easy. A son of mine did it and he is now divorced. Marrying young is a problem because most of us don't have the savvy to evaluate our future spouses. We make assumptions out of our own fairly narrow life experiences. But even at that symptoms can be discerned. Does he go to class on time and regularly? Have a part time job that he does well in? Obviously, books have been written about this.

She probably does deserve better. I'm not perfect. What I meant was that knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have brought that type of personality into my home. Why would anyone? There are a lot of good people out there without these sorts of issues. However, I can say that we have worked through these problems and are still married. More than some can say.

If an otherwise good hard working person loses his job, that's just one of the problems that come up in life. Having known several couples in this situation, the wives have been universally supportive.

I guess the problem with this assumption is that these sorts of things are manifest during the courtship period. Why did the woman marry the guy in the first place, probably knowing these characteristics about the man? Usually money issues are sorted well before any sort of marraige committment is made. Because basics such as where to live, how much the couple will have to live on etc. are necessary to even get a start to living together after marraige. If a woman ignores this, a pox on her!

Not sure how many of these remarks would be justified if the guy is holding a job! A person who goes to work late, and doesn't work hard gets fired. The guy wouldn't be going to work every day. If the guy is a bum and can't hold a job, she should leave, of course.

Go to the shelter, and stay there until you can be on your own again. You married a loser. Don't worry what others think. You have a duty to protect your children.

As a person who also married someone who suffered abuse as a child, I can sympathize with you. Having known then what I know now, I would have never married this person, although she is a very good woman in many respects. I will say she has been a very faithful wife. However other behaviors have plagued our marraige, and twenty years of counselling have not made it (the behaviors) go away entirely. Your wife has been damaged beyond what she even knows, and unfortunately you and your family are suffering. But don't blame her entirely. In cases such as hers, the behavior you describe is very common.

When GA's travel out of town away from home and are staying in hotels on Sunday etc. guess where they eat? Only one guess allowed.

His wife said, "What is this teaching the kids after we have told them no to birthday parties on Sundays and other things?" It would have been OK, because in raising my kids, we never did the above. They all go to church on Sunday as adults and understand priorities. But some of you go over the edge.

There is proof of God, but one can only prove it to oneself, not others. The proof is a spiritual confirmation, that God will give anyone who tries to live worthy, have a mustard seed worth of faith and is willing to pray about it. Unfortunately, I have met many people who are not willing to pray. As far as external scientific proof, there is a lot of evidence, but no actual proof. The proof is and should be:) only spiritual.

My granddaughter is 3 months old. Her ears are pierced. The big deal is what???????

Most self employed people I know have a savings account to ride out the ups and downs in their lives.:) Start a savings account with the $$ you can save from the consulting. When that account gets to a decent level her anxiety will be much mitigated. PS She had to have know about this before your marraige, so what's the big deal now???

Seems like the seller is willing to honor his bargain. You only have one to return, and he is willing to replace it. Should have kept the others. Typically, you get what you pay for.

Your spouse is a bit naive about the Second Coming: D&C 130: 2 And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy. Things will change, but they'll stay the same. Actually talking about the Celestial Glory, but I doubt the Millenium will be any different, socially.

I'm married to a Hispanic, and so is one of my children. AFAIK there is no cultural reason to have kids in the bedroom. The male having to initiate intimacy is, however, very Hispanic.

Prescription drugs are legal, but can be abused. Marijuana, if it becomes legal should be viewed in the same light.

This^

I was formally "rebuked" by a "born again christian" on another discussion forum once, who disagreed with my position on the point of doctrine we were discussing. He really thought I was in a position of going to hell. I don't think there is any place for it in LDS doctrine.

Good self analysis. Get your education, then get out.

I look at it this way: the Pope lives in a palace, has and armed escort, servants and certainly has access to total luxury. Please point out a GA that lives in a palace paid for by someone that's not him. Doesn't matter what the stipend is, these guys are clearly not leading an extravagant lifestyle. Travel, which a lot of them do a lot of the time is expensive and I would expect the church to pay those sorts of expenses. A decent standard of living here in the US is around $100k per year, and if there are family members involved, I'd expect it to be more. Remember, that thse guys wives are also usually active as far as travel and speeches a lot of the time. Even a decent clothing allowance would be very tight on that amount of $$$. That $100k would really allow no savings account.

I agree, there are not enough facts. Get professional counselling. I'm not a big fan of this, having been. But sometimes an outside opinion can give perspective, not only to you, but to your spouse. He may not realize how some of the silly things he does affect you, since you probably only communicate with him in an emotional state. Although it would seem that the emotions alone would give him a clue; but they're obviously not. Edit; read the rest of the posts! He should go to counselling with you. If not, that's a big negative and you do need to consider your options.