jayanna

My bishop just let me know recently that a new question was added to interviews for limited use recommends that youth get to do baptisms. It is a question for the young priesthood, they are to be asked, "When was the last time you saw pornography?" Not if, but when. This is a huge issue in the world today, thankfully, you do not have to bear this alone.

She could be asked to testify, but she can refuse. parent might be angry for a while, but I dare say it wouldn't last. They will probably feel bad about their own choices as well.

Oh, what a terrible terrible weight to carry around. Youth should be spent on much better things than this situation. The bishop needs to know not so he can punish her or make her life miserable. He is there to care for her in a way that the Lord would care for her. Having been a victim of some things myself, I know that the name of a victim is protected (especially in the case of a minor) from being put in newspapers, etc. Outside of the family, etc, I don't see why anyone in her social circle would need to know. Since you are her best friend she obviously has one person who cares for her well being. Remember how terrible you felt when you found out her situation, well, anyone who does find out somehow will feel that same way. She needs to get better from this so that this does not get carried around on her shoulders for the rest of her life. She will have completely different friends in college, don't worry about the other kids, they will move on to the next thing soon enough, she will not. Wondering if he has moved on to abusing another girl.

Missionaries do not live with their families. They don't visit their families, or serve their mission anywhere near their immediate family. They dedicate all of their time for two years to teaching the word of the Lord to those who are ready to learn. They do not watch TV they don't listen to the radio or even read the newspaper. They call their mom twice a year, on mother's day and on Christmas day. That's it. Christmas is a great time of year to investigate. Here in our area there is a great musical celebration, this year there are several different churces participating, tickets are free but are going so fast that they decided to broadcast the performance to the wards. My husband and I had a civil wedding at about the same time he joined the church and were sealed in the temple later. You can do both. Don't start worrying about what might be. Most people already believe that they will be with their families in heaven, so I don't see your family having a problem with a ceremony concerning that. Have your temple ceremony and then a ring ceremony with all the family and friends after. Alcohol makes people do dumb things at weddings anyway. You can chat with missionaries on mormon.org

I would highly suggest going on to mormon.org and chatting with a missionary online. The missionaries are messengers of the Lord, stay humble and let them do the work they have been called to do. It is their joy, and they will care for you the way your Heavenly Father wishes you to be cared for. You are welcome to come to any church service on any Sunday you have an inclination to come. There is a class for those investigating and it is very helpful to sit in and listen to others ask questions and the responses. Sometimes they can come up with some you might have forgotten to ask. The questions in the class tend to center around the topic of that lesson for the day. If you have a long list of questions you can ask the missionaries during your discussions you have with them. I personally think it would be best to go as soon as possible, if you're a worry wort like me with an outstanding and creative imagination, best to jump in before fearful ideas start popping up. Imaginations can be so very wonderful and yet so awfully self-defeating at times. Friend on here are great and all, but we can only give you words. The Elders will bring a sense of the Holy Spirit into the lessons that will mean more than our words can. Stay humble, and let the Holy Spirit guide you wherever He wills. Sometimes it all sounds too good to be true, but it is true. The world makes us jaded I know, almost afraid to believe in something so wonderful, but here it is. The Chruch of Jesus Christ really has been restored to the Earth once again. Don't miss out on it.

I would only worry about cutting out red meat because of iron, I guess you could take iron supplements? With bleeding going on, you will need to stay hydrated and keep your iron up to replace those cells. I would cut everything and leave the oatmeal for last as it is so beneficial to digestion usually fighting against constipation. If you have cut everything and sticking with the oatmeal and you feel better, then the oatmeal is fine. Don't eliminate it out of principle, only out of practice if it is necessary.

hello, nice to have you.

I thought Moroni's promise says to ask if it is not true. I don't think it is a coincidence that this is happening at the same time that you are bringing a child into the relationship. You can't convert him. You can lead a horse to water, you can't make him drink, but you can let him know how great the water is. At some point he is going to get thirsty, when he does try not to say, "I told you so" too much. Can't wait till that baby is born and he is going to want to do the naming blessing.

I think loving yourself includes appreciating the atonement, and how it was for you specifically. Loving yourself means admitting that Heavenly Father loves you and knows you personally. It would then follow to trust His choices for you. If you have questions about temple, wouldn't it make sense that He has asked you to spend time there learning? He truly knows you, trust Him. What better time for you to have available the comfort, peace, and sanctity of the temple to go to during these difficult times? He hasn't only called you to work, He is calling you to return to His presence in His very house! He has great love and care for you. It is truly a place between Heaven and Earth, when I am in there it helps me to remember why I am working so hard to follow the Lord...it helps me to remember where it is that I am following Him to. This calling is a marvelous opportunity for you to learn about the temple in so many ways. Knowledge is a cure for fear. Trust and peace are a cure for adversity. He is handing you a cure. When the rains coming down and the winds are howling, that is the time to hold on tighter to the rod. God lets those rains and winds come, because He WANTS you to hold tighter to that rod.

Michelle, you will have to let us know what the temple says about it. I did have this sort of situation myself. I had two children with my first husband and was divorced about the same time I joined the church. Later I met my second husband. We did get sealed to each other because I felt we would need the blessings from the sealing in order to overcome the huge obstacles in the way of getting the children sealed to us. After much much much prayer and about 5 years of waiting my first husband did sign papers disolving his parental rights, and my second husband adopted them. Since the adoption was uncontested, it cost only $2000. (We had actually saved up more than that while waiting.) We were immediately sealed. I had more than the sealing (though it is the most important thing really) that I was worried about. I was also preparing to have my second heart surgery, so I did not consider any other method of ensuring our eternal family. I was sure that their biological father would use them to collect social security benefits if I passed away during the procedure. Adoption was the only avenue that I was willing to consider for them. I don't know if there is another way. While my situation was very different considering the motivations of my first husband (he was eager to avoid paying $17,000 in back child support), I do know that whatever qualifications the Lord has set before you, they can be overcome and you can be sealed. He would not ask of you any thing that you could not do with His help. I do know that if you have any children over the age of 8 they will need their baptism certificate. You will also likely need their birth certificates.

Hyena, I'm very excited for you. I was then only member in my family as well. It was very hard at first. My family are still quite skeptical, but see the difference that it has made to my relationships with my husband (who converted after we met) and children. They are curious, and if they could just get past the stereotype I think some of them would join. I do look forward to seeing some of them at church with me some day. Home teachers, they are there to serve you. They usually teach a lesson out of a talk by a leader, or from the scriptures, or both. They see how you are doing temporally and spiritually, and offer assistance with things. The gospel is progressive. Baptism is not the end, it is a beginning of a new life. As you progress and learn there are other ordinances that will give you tools to grow even closer to your Heavenly Father. One of these will be recieiving the priesthood! The priesthood is given as a tool for you to do the work of the Lord, and learn to be more like Him by serving those who are in need. Another will be recieving your endowments in the temple. There are simple, yet profound, lessons and ordinances in the temple that will help you get through the challenges of this life and prepare you for the eternities. I learned a lot about it by studying the Old Testament. One of the ordinances in the temple is 'sealing'. You can be sealed to your family in the temple. When a couple get married in the temple they are sealed for eternity as eternal companions. You can also be sealed to your children, and family who have passed on. The temple is a kind of half way point between earth and heaven. It is first and foremost a house of prayer. You can read about it on lds.org. You can go for your endowments about a year after baptism, and after you have some classes. It is a wonderful and beautiful, peacefull and calm place. Most temples have visitor centers if you would like to go to the grounds of a temple near you, look it up on Lds.org and see where the nearest one is on the temple locator, it will also say of a visitor's center is available. You can also call them and ask if they have a visitor's center. I like to take my kids to the temple grounds for picnic lunch (temples generally have gardens and benches outside) and to see the brides who have gotten married that day. I have two teen girls. Again, I am so excited for you. You will learn so much about the gospel of Jesus Christ, about His love for us. The church gives us opportunities to not only hear the word, but to do and speak. Really, we have three ways to learn...read, hear, and do. You will be actively engaged in all three! As you attend church you will hear other members give talks. Try to remember some of their names, especially your favorite ones. After sacrament, you might approach them and say, "Thank you for sharing your talk, I really like the point you made about..." for instance. When it comes time for your baptism, a lot of people have someone give talks and such. If someone were to say, "who would you like to give the prayer at your baptism?" you would have some names to give. There is a class for adults who are new or are just getting started in learning about things. The class is a 'Gospel Principles' class, some people call it 'Gospel Fundamentals' as it used to be called that. It is for investigators, which is a term for those who are attending that are considering joining or who have family/friends that are joining. You will meet the missionaries and a ward mission leader as well as anyone else that can come who are new members/investigators. They welcome questions. You can also chat with members on mormon.org.

might want to stick to blowing kisses from a distance for a few weeks. Group dates. Hang in there.

Okay, am I the only one that is thinking his actions are speaking much louder than his words? No husband I know will get out of bed on Sunday, get dressed, go to church for three hours, and be a regular attendee just to make his wife happy, and then tell her it is a lie, and then repeat it all over again. That makes absolutely no sense at all. There is much more here than someone supposedly losing a testimony. That is just too much effort to make only to undermine yourself by telling the person you are faking it for that you are faking it, and then deja vu, starting it over. I don't know if he is suffering from depression, or if he is extremely upset by you, or that he is feeling henpecked. Regardless of what the cause of his apathy may be, I would sincerely suggest showing him and increase of love. Have you stopped praying together? Stopped having couple scripture study? I would suggest returning to these things and gently inviting him to join you in a loving and caring manner, not pointing out that you think he is doing something wrong, but that you enjoy his company and insight. I learned something when I started in daycare services. This kids were terrible to each other, they would bite each other, hit, throw, you name it, they did it. Staff were dropping like flies, but I needed that job so I decided to find a way to stick it out. I looked at the ladies who had been there for decades and discovered the difference. They found something to love about each child. So I made a list of each child and every day added to the list something I loved about each one of them. Some days is what harder than others, but I put something down anyway. I found myself searching for the good in each of them, and downplaying the bad things they would do. I encouraged them and praised them when they learned something new or did something nice. They caught on and started doing that with each other as well. Plant a seed and it will grow. Change your feelings, it is a concious decision to feel something. Change the tone of your inner commentary. Every day add to that list until you find yourself not willing to live without him. It will translate into how you speak with him and look forward to seeing him, he will sense it and it will cause a change in him. Have the patience with him that you want your Heavenly Father to have with you.

Okay, what is venturing? and yes, I let my girls go to activities and even attend Sunday services at other churches. It has significantly strenthened their testimonies. Let them see the fruits for themselves.

Food storage, but then my debt is mostly mortgage. If we have a job loss or injury we can use the food storage and use what money we have to pay mortgage. But the other way around and our debt is paid, but we have no food. Though I do think one can really do both.

Family comes first. Before country, before job, before social demands, before your parents or your children, your spouse comes first. Military service is a couple decision. If one half is not willing, the other should not be either. When you become one, you become one. If you are divided, you will not stand. If you pray together, and seek an answer together you will both know what is right. Be brave enough to follow that counsel. If you are sealed regardless of what happens on this earth you will be together for eternity. But if you put any call or job before your spouse's needs, there is no success that will make up for that. And I have always recieved some notice of my hubby getting a leadership call, except once and they apologized to me afterward on that one. They had not been able to get hold of me, and while he was being extended a leadership call, he was also leaving one, so they ran with it and called him. I didn't know until they were sustaining in Sacrament meeting on that one. Total shock, but the Stake presidency came to me and apologized. My hubby always consults with spouse on extending calls which take a significant amount of time away from family, no matter if it is the sister or brother being called. I had never heard of it being otherwise, actually. He also asks for the brother to assist in the setting apart for his wife, or the wife to be present in the setting apart of her husband and frequently she will be given a blessing at that time by my hubby and hers. It is very couply and nice. Both halves of that relationship are acknowledged and appreciated. Callings are meant to improve a family's testimony. I'm sorry if that has not been the experience of others.

I can't think of anything I put ahead of my spouse as far as church, job, other family or friends. If I had a job that he was uncomfortable with, I'd pitch it. No questions asked. If I had a church calling that took so much time away from him that he would be miserable, I'd asked to be released. There is a reason that spouses are consulted upon extending a leadership calling. Military is very honorable, if it is a risk that both parties are not willing to take, then neither party should take it. You are sealed to your spouse, not your country. When your country is long gone, your spouse will still be there. However, there is one relationship that I put above my spouse. That is the one between myself and my Heavenly Father. If my husband were to demand of me something completely immoral I believe I would have to put my foot down and say, "no, that would take me away from the presence of my Father, not lead me towards Him." Barring that, it is more important to be kind than it is to be right. Pres. Hinckley taught me that. Also there is no success outside of the home that makes up for failure in the home.

Welcome, love your avatar :)

I have let the power of the atonement swallow up the things that have been done to me. I don't dwell on them near as much as I used to. I have nightmares, but only very rarely now. Sometimes I am reminded of them, especially on here. Oddly, I find that sharing my experiences can help others feel better, well not alone anyway. Those things have made me stronger. I have more faith instead of less. I have more confidence in myself instead of less. My understanding and compassion are much greater than they were before, and best of all, I never take my hubby for granted. Through faith those things have been to my good and have given me experience. To the OP, don't give them any of your tomorrows. Don't let all that take one precious moment away. Instead of talking so much about it and dwelling on the past, count your blessings, tell your husband how wonderful he is...I know when you live with someone there are good days and bad. On the bad days think over your list of little things that you love. For example, I love the way my hubby smells like bread. I love how he is always warm to snuggle with. I tell him these things, not because I think he especially wants to hear them, but because I want him to know what I'm thinking about when I think of him. There is a reason we are supposed to start out prayers by thanking God for what we have. It is not for Him, He already knows what our blessings are. Many times there are blessings that we don't even notice for a while. The reason is because we need that reminder that we do have blessings to be thankful for and a reminder that those things come from Him. The key to past experiences is when you are healed from them, and you can be through the atonement, you only bring those out when you want to strengthen someone not to bring on self pity or self defacement. You will be able to say, "that was a terrible thing that was done to me, and this is why I am stronger because of it, this is what I have learned about myself, this is why I can appreciate those around me, and this is how I can be a light to others." There is a very real adversary that wants you to be down about it, he wants you to dwell and relive it over and over again, doubting others and yourself. He wants your relationships to be poisoned from it. Don't let it. Thwart him and let those horrible things be the reason you are an unfailingly loving wife and mom. Out of the huts of history's shame I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise. Maya Angelou

hi there and welcome

I don't know if you are aware of this, but it took my husband and me 5 years to get sealed in the temple. It was very hard for me to wait for him, for most of that time he had no intention of going to the temple in order to get sealed to me. In fact, I don't talk about it much, but when he received the priesthood and made the appointment for his endowments he still did not plan on getting sealed...even though we had been married for 5 years. It is very hard to have the idea that someone does not want to get sealed to you, even though you have dedicated yourself to that goal. Something that helped me significanlty when I did go to the temple and got my endowments, I found that instead of being concerned with getting the eternal companion that I want, I had to focus on being the eternal companion that somebody else would want. So instead of focusing on my own happiness, I focused on whether or not I was someone's reason to be happy. Though you have felt that you should marry her in the temple, she may not believe the same thing. We still have to have free agency. Trust me, you would not want to be sealed to someone who only went through with it to make you happy. You would not want to be stuck in a one-way relationship. Her realizing this before you get sealed instead of after and then causing a big mess to get out, this is a good thing. Find someone that wants to be sealed to you as much as you want to be sealed to them. They are out there, lovely, wonderful women out there who deserve a righteous preisthood holder, don't turn your nose up just yet.

Tea is addictive. I was pulling out a container of tea from the work fridge today because the filtered water pitcher was behind it. Even twelve years later, I groaned as I passed it to the counter. If it stains the container it sits in, what does it do to your guts? Any time you turn to a substance for comfort other than God, you are making a false idol of it. Only turn to those things the Lord tells you to. We even fast once a month, putting our relationship with the Lord before any thing else. After life, it depends on what stage of the afterlife. A lot of people in the afterlife are doing missionary work. They are teaching lessons while some are learning, and some do both. There is a lot of organizing invloved, a coordinating of effort so to speak, there have been a lot of people on the Earth. There is also witnessing. I think there is quite a lot that happens with us here that is being witnessed. Our loved ones have an influence on us here also. I believe that they can spend some time keeping up with us and our doings. Another thing is, when someone's work is being done in the temple, there must be some kind of notification system for that person to have the opportunity to attend and also accept. I'm sure that it has to be witnessed when that person accepts the ordinance for him/her self. I'm sure there is some type of recording being done as well. And singing :) There is a lesson in the Gospel Principles book about what happens in the Spirit World, where we stay after death and await our resurrection : Gospel Principles Chapter 41: The Postmortal Spirit World

Are you thinking more country or more city? I love the Ozarks, it is beautiful, in fact hubby and I are thinking of going for a drive thru them this weekend. I also love San Diego. Beach, zoo, lots of cultures, very exciting place, but also a whole lot of people. After a while there I tend to get claustraphobic.

Why get a divorce? If you are both happy with each other otherwise, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. Eternity is a long time, and he can be healed of this one way or another. There are some couples with the polar opposite...lots of physical intimacy and zero true friend intimacy. It is just as unsatisfying I would think. As for encouraging intimacy in the physical sense, I would like to suggest dancing. Just dancing on the kitchen floor in your socks. Some nice music, no pressure to kiss, just hold hands and sway. Physical touch is very important to me, so I can understand a lack of happiness because of it. Also, do you have a pet? It sounds strange, pet if you can pet a cat, you can hold hands, ya know? Therapy is a very very good idea. Find a good one and let them do their job. The more pressure you put on this, the worse it will get. You are very patient, some spouses would have done something wildly dramatic by now. Good for you.

First of all, I truly believe that your singlehood is temporary. Eternity is a long time my friend, there are many many people who have lived on this Earth and while here could not experience marriage or having children. I don't for a moment believe that those blessings are never going to made available to worthy, caring, righteous people. The Lord knows how hard it is for you to wait and feel lonely, He has experienced loneliness, and feeling abandoned. He has been denied, and lived a short life which missed out on many of the comforts and blessings that are available to us. But we all know that eternity will be different. John the Baptist also did not have much of a chance to have a bunch of kids, his head was lopped off! There are a lot of people who do not even have control over their own bodies and have faced lifelong disabilities which keep them even from communicating, and that have little hope of getting married, but eternity is a long time! They will be healed of these infirmities and can recieve all of the blessings that were not available during this estate. The plan of happiness does not garauntee that we will be happy now, but if we live up to what we are taught we will have a fullness of joy later. Stay worthy of a righteous temple marriage. He has not given up on you, don't you give up on Him. Concerning the single brethren in your ward, there is a priesthood holder that cares about and understands them...and it's you. I'm sure some of them have felt a loss of hope that you are experiencing right now, and I'm sure that some of them will experience it in the future. Pull through this, so that when any one of them go through this, you can tell them from deep personal experience how to overcome this. You are not alone.... there's a talk titled 'None Were With Him' Thank you, Sister Thompson, and thanks to the remarkable women of this Church. Brothers and sisters, my Easter-season message today is intended for everyone, but it is directed in a special way to those who are alone or feel alone or, worse yet, feel abandoned. These might include those longing to be married, those who have lost a spouse, and those who have lost—or have never been blessed with—children. Our empathy embraces wives forsaken by their husbands, husbands whose wives have walked away, and children bereft of one or the other of their parents—or both. This group can find within its broad circumference a soldier far from home, a missionary in those first weeks of homesickness, or a father out of work, afraid the fear in his eyes will be visible to his family. In short it can include all of us at various times in our lives.To all such, I speak of the loneliest journey ever made and the unending blessings it brought to all in the human family. I speak of the Savior’s solitary task of shouldering alone the burden of our salvation. Rightly He would say: “I have trodden the winepress alone; and of the people there was none with me. … I looked, and there was none to help; and I wondered that there was none to uphold [me].” 1 I would like to challenge you to read that talk once again. I think you will find that you are not as alone as you might have thought.