Jane_Doe

I think that “modesty” often is reduced to a sexual component, and under this rubric obviously the burden for that will tend to be imposed on females since males tend to be (as I understand it) more likely to respond to visual stimuli than females are.
But I think the broader and more important facet of modesty is courtesy and not making life harder for others than it has to be.  Bearing each other’s burdens per Mosiah 18.  Not needlessly creating stumbling blocks for each other per Romans 14.  Not insisting upon making ourselves the center of attention.  Thinking of others before ourselves.
The application that has been most prevalent in my mind lately (as our ward council has grappled with COVID-related drama) is this:  if “modesty”, properly understood, demands that a female dress conservatively around a male; then it also demands that an anti-masker wear a mask around a COVID-hypochondriac.  

I thought it was nice they had those meetings. I always felt the priesthood session spoke to me the most as it was more pointed at me. 
 
I’ll miss them

It’s a really good sign that people are talking about why and asking questions. Only then can we solve the problem. 

I believe I'm tracking the sentiment here, I think. 
Since my sphere of stewardship does not offer me the chance to ask the actual members in stake their reasons for not renewing their recommends, asking here acts as a great second place sounding board.

Taking your pizza analogy, we have plenty of customers who come to the restaurant but no one is ordering pizza combo #1. When we have been asking people 'why not?', we are only hearing back that it is 'not for them' but nothing beyond that. What exact part is not for them? The mushrooms, anchovies, the what?
You are correct, it is hard to try and help individuals address their certain concern(s) if we can't figure out the concern to begin with.
One more check mark as to why I appreciate everyone here offering up their thoughts. With varying degrees of Church activity from participants here and the anonymity it helps to drill down to some possible specifics.
 

A couple things that came to my mind of why there might be hesitancy:
~ Sometimes people really aren't aware it has lapsed and a call from the exec sec is what it takes. (not everyone lives close enough to a temple to attend on a regular basis so don't notice the exp date)
~ Shallow but - knowing that the bishop you don't jive with (putting it nicely) will be released soon and/or you'll be moving so just wait to avoid said bishop.
~ Less than pleasant experiences in the past (ie along the lines of guilt/grilled - 'why haven't you come sooner'; 'when was the last time you attended the temple').

I thinks it is largely for statistics. Which I would be 100% fine with if they came out and said that, I would love to valiant in helping our leaders keep track of where we as Saints were as a whole… but I also recognize the many Saints may have trouble with that
 
I would be completely down for this view too, I would probably always be in the mood for a temple recommend d interview. But the setting and environment had never been like that. 
 
All of my experiences in getting interviews have been sitting in a hall waiting for my appointment which is 15 minutes late. I sit down and the bishop asks me the questions verbatim and I respond with 1 word answers. I remember once I expressed a question and thought on the question about being honest with our fellow men and it was simply blown off since it wasn’t part of scripted conversation. Then when I go to the stake presidency, there is even more of a assembly line feel.
I get the sentiment, I just don’t buy it

@NeedleinA, I’ll raise my hand as one of those people that is hard to schedule, despite being an active very believing lady. . Here’s the OCD honest reasons, all of which work together, but last is the biggest —
-The shortage of time is indeed a factor.  Both for the interviews themselves and actually attending the temple. 
- My non-member husband, while supportive of me believing and participating locally, is complicated when it comes to matters of tithing and me being gone for a 6 hour tremble trip.  Especially when I was working 100 wks, and we did/do have little kids at home without outside support.  
- While I love the principle of the temple, my experience actually going ... has been a mixed bag. There’s a lot of complicated emotions there. 
- (The biggest reason) I love the gospel deeply, and all of the above are very delicate- close-to-the-matters of great importance.  And to be frank, I do NOT trust my local leadership to discuss them with the needed delicate reverence.  I either don’t know them at all (majority of them) or I’ve been trampled by them in the past and had trust very broken, and it’s not the type of broken that having a conversation will fix anything.  
 
I believe in the Gospel deeply. And the time of temples being closed will pass. Regardless of whether or not it’s open, I’m going to keep living my life worthily. But I really don’t want to open up to a man whom I don’t know well and/or has hurt me badly in the past.

@NeedleinA, I’ll raise my hand as one of those people that is hard to schedule, despite being an active very believing lady. . Here’s the OCD honest reasons, all of which work together, but last is the biggest —
-The shortage of time is indeed a factor.  Both for the interviews themselves and actually attending the temple. 
- My non-member husband, while supportive of me believing and participating locally, is complicated when it comes to matters of tithing and me being gone for a 6 hour tremble trip.  Especially when I was working 100 wks, and we did/do have little kids at home without outside support.  
- While I love the principle of the temple, my experience actually going ... has been a mixed bag. There’s a lot of complicated emotions there. 
- (The biggest reason) I love the gospel deeply, and all of the above are very delicate- close-to-the-matters of great importance.  And to be frank, I do NOT trust my local leadership to discuss them with the needed delicate reverence.  I either don’t know them at all (majority of them) or I’ve been trampled by them in the past and had trust very broken, and it’s not the type of broken that having a conversation will fix anything.  
 
I believe in the Gospel deeply. And the time of temples being closed will pass. Regardless of whether or not it’s open, I’m going to keep living my life worthily. But I really don’t want to open up to a man whom I don’t know well and/or has hurt me badly in the past.

@NeedleinA, I’ll raise my hand as one of those people that is hard to schedule, despite being an active very believing lady. . Here’s the OCD honest reasons, all of which work together, but last is the biggest —
-The shortage of time is indeed a factor.  Both for the interviews themselves and actually attending the temple. 
- My non-member husband, while supportive of me believing and participating locally, is complicated when it comes to matters of tithing and me being gone for a 6 hour tremble trip.  Especially when I was working 100 wks, and we did/do have little kids at home without outside support.  
- While I love the principle of the temple, my experience actually going ... has been a mixed bag. There’s a lot of complicated emotions there. 
- (The biggest reason) I love the gospel deeply, and all of the above are very delicate- close-to-the-matters of great importance.  And to be frank, I do NOT trust my local leadership to discuss them with the needed delicate reverence.  I either don’t know them at all (majority of them) or I’ve been trampled by them in the past and had trust very broken, and it’s not the type of broken that having a conversation will fix anything.  
 
I believe in the Gospel deeply. And the time of temples being closed will pass. Regardless of whether or not it’s open, I’m going to keep living my life worthily. But I really don’t want to open up to a man whom I don’t know well and/or has hurt me badly in the past.

@Carborendum and @NeuroTypical-you guys both make great points, as always. 

For me? It’s all about earning it. I love my mom and dad and we have a great relationship. So what I’m about to say doesn’t apply to me personally. 
 
Not all parents deserve to be honored. If you are mentally ill, physically or emotionally abusive, you do not deserve to be honored. I have seen firsthand how some parents manipulate their adult children after years of abuse. So it’s a nuanced topic. 

Ooh, good question!
I'd say honoring is considering, if not necessarily obeying, the good they have taught and acknowledging that.
I do think the relationship itself changes and is intended to change.

I don’t see marriage as an end to honoring your parents - there is no end to that.  
An adult person should also be their own person, not a subsidiary (physically, emotionally, spiritually) of thier parents. This is true for all adults, single and married. 

My grandpa’s second marriage was in the temple for time only. Both he and his bride were widowed, and their marriage was simply for companionship in their elder years. Both of them considering their original spouse as their eternal companion.  
They married in the temple to show their commitment to the marriage and living worthy of the temple. 

My grandpa’s second marriage was in the temple for time only. Both he and his bride were widowed, and their marriage was simply for companionship in their elder years. Both of them considering their original spouse as their eternal companion.  
They married in the temple to show their commitment to the marriage and living worthy of the temple. 

My grandpa’s second marriage was in the temple for time only. Both he and his bride were widowed, and their marriage was simply for companionship in their elder years. Both of them considering their original spouse as their eternal companion.  
They married in the temple to show their commitment to the marriage and living worthy of the temple. 

Things... are just so complicated and I don’t see the benefit in that. I’d rather figure out how to best be loving and truthful in the individual circumstances I come a across. 
That's the best we can do, thank you @Jane_Doe for sharing from your personal experience.

I’m sorry to here your story @Suzie.  I don’t have much first hand experience with LGBT+ stuff, but I am very familiar with mental health issues and sucidal thoughts, having battled them for many years.
My husband was on the receiving end of a person’s last phone call- he said he’d call back, forgot, and the person sucicided two days later.
 I myself once had my close trust betrayed by a girl, and I responded by absolutely berating her- and I was told about my words drove her to a sucicide attempt that night. It was devestating and fueled my own depression. Equally tough was years later when I found out the entire story was faked and that I had been catfished (before that was term for it).
Life can be .... very hard. Depression is a tough issue.  Yes, we should treat each other with kindness. Yes our actions affect others (good and bad).  But I hesitate to say “you are responsible for another’s actions, the action to take their life”. Things... are just so complicated and I don’t see the benefit in that. I’d rather figure out how to best be loving and truthful in the individual circumstances I come a across. 

I’m sorry to here your story @Suzie.  I don’t have much first hand experience with LGBT+ stuff, but I am very familiar with mental health issues and sucidal thoughts, having battled them for many years.
My husband was on the receiving end of a person’s last phone call- he said he’d call back, forgot, and the person sucicided two days later.
 I myself once had my close trust betrayed by a girl, and I responded by absolutely berating her- and I was told about my words drove her to a sucicide attempt that night. It was devestating and fueled my own depression. Equally tough was years later when I found out the entire story was faked and that I had been catfished (before that was term for it).
Life can be .... very hard. Depression is a tough issue.  Yes, we should treat each other with kindness. Yes our actions affect others (good and bad).  But I hesitate to say “you are responsible for another’s actions, the action to take their life”. Things... are just so complicated and I don’t see the benefit in that. I’d rather figure out how to best be loving and truthful in the individual circumstances I come a across. 

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
If it's a huge deal for your mom to be there to support your mom (not your aunt-- she's off to a better place), then I would be there for your mom.  If it's not, and you don't want to go, then I won't go.  

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
If it's a huge deal for your mom to be there to support your mom (not your aunt-- she's off to a better place), then I would be there for your mom.  If it's not, and you don't want to go, then I won't go.  

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
If it's a huge deal for your mom to be there to support your mom (not your aunt-- she's off to a better place), then I would be there for your mom.  If it's not, and you don't want to go, then I won't go.  

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
If it's a huge deal for your mom to be there to support your mom (not your aunt-- she's off to a better place), then I would be there for your mom.  If it's not, and you don't want to go, then I won't go.  

Clarification: The "trial for guinea pigs" phases for COVID vaccines made by Moderna, Pfizer, Johnson and Johnson, Astra Zeneca, and any other in current use, is largely complete.  It started way last year.  I started my trial vaccines back in August 2020.  @Emmanuel Goldstein seemed to be unaware of the fact that all of these vaccines had already successfully completed phase I, II, and III trials.  He seems to be under the mistaken belief that the public vaccination effort underway on planet earth right now, is being run with untested, unapproved, trial vaccines, and everyone who gets the vaccine is a guinea pig.  He's wrong.
When Carb, (or any other member of the general public) goes and gets the vaccine, they give you a card, and maybe an appointment for a second dose.  That's it for you, and any other member of the general public.  No blood work, no ongoing questionnaires, no physicals.
When I got the vaccine last August, as a phase III trial volunteer, I signed up for a 5 year study where I fill out questionnaires every other week, get a physical with blood draws every couple months.  All that jargle is only for people who join a study.

Going to compile / rearrange a bunch of different posts here:
That's good!  A lot of folks fall into the trap of thinking a foreign mission is "cooler" or "better" than going somewhere like Boise Idaho.  It's not.  But we humans do like bling.
- How long a person stays in an area varies hugely from mission to mission and missionary to missionary.  A year is on the long side, but not remotely unheard of.
-I would not assume that his not getting transfer is due to meds and/or just due to meds.   There's likely a ton different in play.
100% normal. 
We culturally... I feel fail at points at accurately portraying missions.  Yes, it is a noble service, and great opportunity for spiritual growth.  It's also HARD.  physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc.  There's a ton of pressure (rightful and wrongful), lots of rejection, you're out of your element, etc.  Truthfully the hardness is true about any young adult experience.  
 
It's also REALLY hard being a mom with the first chick flying out of the nest!  And I also feel that we as a society really suck at prepping moms for that too.  Starting at 18: mom's are completely out of any loop.  Except for how much the young adult wishes to share.  You need to trust them, and that's TERRIFYING at points.  
Some tips for helping teenagers be prepare to be better functioning young adults:
- Know how to do your own laundry.  Like literally, so many young adults don't know how to properly wash their clothes.  And likewise just basic "how to tend to yourself and your house" skills.
- Develop goal keeping, and owning your choices (both good and bad).  Young adults need to be able to make decisions, hopefully foresee consequences, and accept them.  Yes, that means when the consequence is a big mess, they need to clean it up.  Other folks stepping in to rescue them doesn't promote maturity, rather encourages de-evolution into adult-sized toddlers.  Having them know of to develop goal and think things through are essential skills.
- Maintain an open communication bridge and promote love.