dddd

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  1. Like
    dddd got a reaction from Manners Matter in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    I've done this in the past, but I'm seeing it so frequently that I feel the need to let them know it's NOT ok on an LDS dating site. People get 
    "ghosted" for so many reasons these days that ghosting them does not send any message.
  2. Like
    dddd got a reaction from Backroads in Question on immigration. Does this sound right?   
    If this is someone's true thought, then logically they should also be opposed to letting migrants come here with children/spouses/other dependants in other countries. It disgusts me when people from any country leave their children or spouses, even if it is to get financial footing. My mission comp's dad moved to Canada to "better provide child support" and never came back. He was a recommend holder at the time. I also think if the church is going to question people about being a law abiding citizen before baptism, they should also question them in terms of how well they are fulfilling thier familial role. You can't fill your familial role if you choose to revoke vertain rsponsibilities in order to live in another country, or times even another state.
  3. Like
    dddd got a reaction from Backroads in Question on immigration. Does this sound right?   
    If this is someone's true thought, then logically they should also be opposed to letting migrants come here with children/spouses/other dependants in other countries. It disgusts me when people from any country leave their children or spouses, even if it is to get financial footing. My mission comp's dad moved to Canada to "better provide child support" and never came back. He was a recommend holder at the time. I also think if the church is going to question people about being a law abiding citizen before baptism, they should also question them in terms of how well they are fulfilling thier familial role. You can't fill your familial role if you choose to revoke vertain rsponsibilities in order to live in another country, or times even another state.
  4. Like
    dddd reacted to carlimac in Question on immigration. Does this sound right?   
    I asked her for more specifics but I doubt she’ll respond. She knows I have different viewpoints from hers. My guess is there were mistakes made/ appointments missed, either due to work schedules or bad lawyers or language barriers. Could be the offices are run by inept folks. Or simply the  adults taking everything casually and thinking they’d just do it later. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s one of the workers in my friends’ business.  
    I don’t think she is interested in those things. Only that the parents are being separated from their children. But the same thing happens to parents who are American citizens if they break the law. So... 🤔
  5. Sad
    dddd reacted to NeuroTypical in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    *snort*
    I mean, don't get me wrong, of course you are correct.  LDS-based dating sites should take steps to make it worthy of LDS standards.  It's just that the site owner must decide on priorities for their for-profit dating site.    The OP's story doesn't surprise me one bit, and it serves as a cautionary tale for anyone placing themselves in the dating scene, LDS-friendly or not.
    Also, if you're gay and LDS, a good place to meet other gay LDS folk, are the church-run SSA recovery groups.  You are right again - folks shouldn't use them as places to hook up.
    If you're still not sufficiently educated in worldly realities, ask me what's special about a gym with a section of the locker room set aside for people over 18.
    Hey, don't look at me, I just know things.  
     
  6. Like
    dddd reacted to Just_A_Guy in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    To my mind, there are worse things that could happen than for a predator like that to voluntarily withdraw from the community from which he selects his victims.
  7. Like
    dddd reacted to Latter-Day Marriage in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    If these are websites specifically for LDS members to find other members to date it should be a requirement for people who sign up to be legally free to marry.
  8. Like
    dddd reacted to Manners Matter in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    If someone leaves the Church because you stood for what's right, that's totally on them so I'd call out every single one of 'em. It could be that other women are thinking the same thing but not speaking up but will once someone else does. If this happens enough, maybe these guys creeps will get the message. Furthermore, other decent guys might appreciate your guts/candor and might be interested because of it.
    With that said - some options for responses:
    - Let Church leaders do the talking for you. Find some quotes about dating before things are final and post them as needed.
    - You could say something along the lines of: Not only am I not interested in being a rebound girl, we obviously have very different standards as I don't believe in cheating. If you want a decent woman, you need to be a decent man so I suggest you delete your profile asap and come back here only after the ink has been dry for at least 6 months AND you've made a comprehensive list of what *you* did/didn't do that led to your failed marriage AND have started making changes to prevent it from happening again. Bye!
  9. Confused
    dddd reacted to NightSG in Matthew 6:5-6   
    Well, after a few requests that folks not flood an ongoing breaking news post (with updates happening in the comments) on FB with posts of "prayers" (and worse: some actually type out their entire prayers in the posts) I finally gave up and posted the above Scripture, and now I'm being accused of "twisting the words of Christ to suit my preferences."
    Now I don't claim to have always been innocent of that, but this particular passage seems exceptionally clear to me: keep your prayers between you and God through Christ, and don't announce them to everyone. Am I missing some other interpretation?
  10. Like
    dddd got a reaction from Manners Matter in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    I've done this in the past, but I'm seeing it so frequently that I feel the need to let them know it's NOT ok on an LDS dating site. People get 
    "ghosted" for so many reasons these days that ghosting them does not send any message.
  11. Like
    dddd got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    Well you are actually right. I know for a fact this man is still having custody disputes. He told a separate friend of mine that it would be about the end of the year before his divorce would be final, and also told her his bishop gave him the ok to date. She actually arranged a visit with both of them and his Bishop to clear this up and this Bishop said no...he should not be dating. Big surprise there, this guy is BSing. I want to smack down hard but don't wnt to be the reason this guy leaves the church or whatever, like BS-ers are prone to do
  12. Like
    dddd reacted to Jane_Doe in Is there any hope for us?   
    ... and you're suddenly asking this gal out, after a bad history and a quarter of your lifespans passing in silence?
  13. Like
    dddd reacted to Just_A_Guy in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    He’s lying.
    If the divorce were uncontested, there wouldn’t be a court date at all.
    If it were contested, it wouldn’t be “done” at the hearing—the hearing would be for purposes of oral argument (or even trial), and the judge would issue his written decree weeks or even months later. If he has a hearing coming up, he’s going to be married for several more months.  I could respect (albeit, disagree with) a guy who said “let’s date, my lawyer says this will be over soon even though I can’t say for sure precisely when).  But this song-and-dance about “it’ll all be over at the next hearing” tells me that he’s BSing you and that he knows it.
    Not everyone has the temperament for it, of course; so I wouldn’t tell you you MUST take any particularly harsh approach.  But IMHO—with all the caveats of me making a snap judgment to a random internet stranger—this guy deserves to be smacked down, and hard. 
  14. Haha
    dddd got a reaction from Sunday21 in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    I loved your sense of humor in this post, and do agree that they need to make a heavier strength of youth pamphlet! I carry around the mini ones and apparently that is not eno
  15. Haha
    dddd got a reaction from Sunday21 in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    .
  16. Haha
    dddd reacted to Sunday21 in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    This is so true! Both on dating sites and in person! However, it does give you a lot of practice in saying, ‘No’. Church ladies need lots of practice in saying this golden word which becomes absolutely vital with each step that you take into the relationship. Get a copy of ‘For the strength of youth’ and keep it in your purse. You will probably have to hit someone over the head with it at some point! Maybe they should issue a heavier copy? 
    I guarantee you that you will be saying ‘No’ ‘No’ ‘No’ throughout the whole dating process. Actually ‘No, not till you are divorced’. Is the easiest ‘No’. The ‘But just come in for a moment while I find this very interesting Ensign article’ moments are trickier.
    Keep a journal! I promise that you will have enough material for a hysterical blog in at least six months. Let us know how it goes!
    By the way, some of the octopuses that I encountered went on to hold high positions in the stake. It is only by the grace of God, that I have avoided serving under bros who assured me that the LOC did not apply to them! Try to find it funny! We live in a small world and you will likely end up being friends with their wives and children.  
     
     
  17. Like
    dddd reacted to Just_A_Guy in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    Be brutal.  Examples:
    ”In thirty words or less—what does ‘THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY” mean to you?”
    ”In thirty words or less—what does “I’M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL” mean to you?”
    ”Do you actually wait until you’re bored with your wife before you start cheating; or do you commit adultery even when you think your marriage is going well?”
  18. Like
    dddd reacted to mdfxdb in How do I tell someone I can't date due to temple worthiness?   
    You do not need to say anything to him.  Don't go off implications of the bishop, if you have a question as to what he means, ask him.  Also, you probably do not need to disclose what is going on to your future spouse.  I can think of few instances where that would be appropriate.  
  19. Like
    dddd got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in My husband won't let me stay home with our baby because I make more money than him   
    Then you would communicate this expectation, no? A spouse would say, "Hey sweetie, I know you want to stay with the kids, but I think a wiser financial plan would be to keep working until we are clear of debt." or "This home seems like a gerat purchase, but just to be clear, you should probably keep working until it is paid off." or etc. 
    And the tit-for-tat thing, I just don't view that working in a marriage. It's 100-100 not 50-50 :\
  20. Thanks
    dddd reacted to Manners Matter in How do I tell someone I can't date due to temple worthiness?   
    Maybe say something like "I really like you and appreciate the time we've spent together but I'm addressing some personal issues right now and need to take a break to get my stuff together. I hope it won't take too long but I hope you'll support me and still be interested in continuing to date in a few months after I'm more of the person I want to be."
  21. Haha
    dddd reacted to Just_A_Guy in My husband won't let me stay home with our baby because I make more money than him   
    Welcome!
    Ordinarily I’d say “you married a man-child, and you’ve got some hard decisions to make”.  But, as a fellow lawyer, I do note that legal educations are horrendously expensive and I would venture to guess a) you have a boatload of student debt, b) you incurred it during the marriage, and c) you (or at least, HE) anticipated  that those loans would be repaid with *your* income.
    It’s asking a lot to expect a woman not to stay home with her baby—but it’s also asking a lot to expect a man to make payments on his wife’s law school debt.  I’m not fully sure  whether this is a case of a man-child not “soldiering up”, or whether this is a case of a traditional guy who got used to the idea of marrying a modern woman and then felt sucker-punched when she decided she wanted to live a traditional lifestyle and have him be the breadwinner after all.
    Obviously, that’s only one piece of the puzzle here . . . But maybe food for thought.  Good luck—
  22. Haha
    dddd reacted to NeuroTypical in am I right or am i overreacting?   
    I know where Gator is coming from.  But my wife and I had at one time, a joint email account.  And I know three or four facebook relatives and buddies and stuff who have a His-N-Hername account, and it honestly never dawned on me to think of this stuff until reading this thread. 
    I can also advocate the notion of just not give a flying wet flap what other people think about you based on how you structure a facebook account.  One of the most fun games I ever participated in against my will, was the "why haven't you people gotten pregnant" game.  My answers included:
    * "We're waiting to see if we last until next year."
    * (vague alluding to male incompetence, daring them to say something about it)
    * "We're trying, but they tell me it's harder when you never allow yourself to be within 2 feet of the other."
    * "I think I'm gay."
  23. Like
    dddd got a reaction from unixknight in Sexual abstinence before marriage...   
    That's honestly surprising they're not divorced or subject to Church discipline . As someone who considers herself worthwhile i would never permit a man to do that. It's honestly one of the most selfish things I've heard. And not much better in my mind than the Mormon "megadate" where couples go get civilly married for a day or a week just to have sex then divorce. If they wanted to be financially dependant on their parents, it was straight up dishonest not to tell them. And that IS NOT enjoying all the privileges of matrimony FYI!!! I have a lot more to offer as a marriage partner than just sex. Hopefully they do too. Sick some people think that's all there is too it. Trying to find a loophole around sin is sin itself. To me I would compare that scenario to someone who doesn't wanna confess to smoking but decides to hotbox with their friends. Still sin.
    Wow. Just wow. I dearly hope you weren't intending to proffer that story as a SUGGESTION to ME because that's offensive. Any man I marry is gonna man up and be a man and act like one.
  24. Like
    dddd got a reaction from Sunday21 in Sexual abstinence before marriage...   
    I have negatives experiences with men saying they would make changes for me and in my experience they don't hence my choice to not progress the relationship.
  25. Like
    dddd got a reaction from Sunday21 in Sexual abstinence before marriage...   
    That's so true! I prayed for an out actually so I was relieved. It became clear to me shortly before, and he broke it off because he was intimidated by my dad. The clarity was there; I just wanted to know what to tell him. But when it comes down to it the Spirit communicates spiritual mattes, not me!