Misshalfway

Hm. I guess if my mission were to prove to the rest of the world that I was "christian", whatever that word means, then I might go out of my way to say Jesus phrases overtly. But that's not my mission, nor do I expect the speakers at church to take up the cause either. My goal when I speak in church is to hopefully help someone feel the spirit of God so that it communicates with them in some way. Perhaps its pricks their conscience or comforts or offers new ways of seeing something. Perhaps it just makes them laugh a bit and accept themselves a little more. And I'm going to do that imperfectly every single time. God uses the weak things of the world. Happy news! I'm qualified! And I appreciate that sometimes we lose our way, like those in the BofM who got so caught up in the Law of Moses that they needed several reminders to look towards Christ. But I'm not sure legislating the language of sacrament meeting talks is going to help things. Wouldn't that just be another form of missing the mark?

Ah shoot! Get over here.

Hi Dravin. I do see that commonality seems to make or break friendship. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe not. I guess I'm leaning on the "not" side. Maybe that is because I get frustrated with cliques (especially in the church) because it makes us miss the forest for the trees when it comes to loving people. You know? I guess, I like the differences sometimes. I'm a pretty normal minivan driving mom over hear in my world. But I've got a good friend who is an agnostic, overly tattoed someone who rarely combs his hair, and it's a pleasure interacting with him. I guess I long for a place or time (maybe the millenium) when differences don't matter so much. I just read a book about and listened to a TED.com talk on introverts. Extremely interesting. Made me want to make friends with more introverts! Certainly helped me understand certain behaviors or patterns I didn't get before. Made me understand my husband better, that's for sure. I see him as more of a unique beautiful thing rather than quiet and withholding. Rather life changing I'd say. (Not that he doesn't have to learn to reach out too. )

I really enjoyed reading your post, Tova. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the positive tone. I really appreciate that. In regards to your challenges, I don't know if anyone comes to the LDS without something that bothers them. It might be some theological idea or in your case, something political & historical. I've been a member all my life and I continually talk to God in my prayers about the stuff that bothers me. I think this is one of my favorite aspects about LDS living. It's not required that I understand or agree with everything. What is required is a contrite or willing heart. And through all of my questioning (and even arguing on occasion), I've been taught and often humbled. It's like God is looking at me saying, "Yeah, I get it sweetheart. Earth life is confusing. But are you going to obey me? Let's talk about that." I guess what I'm saying is that communications from the spirit often trump my human reasonings. I'll even admit to leaving prayer still retaining my frustrations because the answers I want don't come or the answers I get don't seem satisfactory. But I've come to understand that none of that matters. As I follow God, He teaches me. And not just with intellectual understanding. He broadens me in terms of character and spiritual capacity. It's like I want answers and God is saying, "That's so great. But I'm turning you into something that is more like me." So...I learn to trust while I discipline my questions into patience all the while keeping the conversation open just in case. :) I don't know I've just written anything of value to you, but I'll share it just the same. I also wanted to say that I love that you are so willing to read the Book of Mormon. And yeah...those war chapters can be a little tedious. I used to feel that way. Now, though, they carry so much meaning for me. Funny how where we are in life changes the relevance of what we read. Anyway, I wish you were my neighbor and I could come over and listen long hours to your ponderings.

I suppose I mean both. When you say that the "hang out and enjoy" kind is easier for you, what makes it easy? I guess I'm not sure it's easy for everyone.

Well, whatever timeline you are on, I love that you want a p-blessing. It's a good desire. I hope you can get one soon. It's sure a wonderful thing to have. I keep mine in my nightstand and read it often.

I'm not sure there is an affordable vacuum that isn't in some respect a piece, but we got a Dyson and have liked it. We bought it at costco so we could return it if it broke. We've had it for a couple of years and haven't had any major issues. It isn't the miracle we were told it was but it's good.

Yeah ok, Eowyn. Thx. When I've asked this questions around social circles, I hear lots of people refer to that book by Dale Carnegie "How to win friends and influence people." But I guess I always found that manipulative. I don't know...maybe "winning" friends is manipulative. Or maybe you have to be a little manipulative to get the thing going.

I memorize it all. It's rather easy if you just put your mind to it.

Come on Pris...you gotta do something to attract each other. Isn't there at least some grunting or spitting involved?

No. Lineage is offered through the patriarchal blessing only. While we give blessings during various different ordinances and occasions, the patriarchal blessing is the only document that is formally recorded and published by the church with a written copy sent to the person. Sounds like you probably received one.

Well, if we are going to baptize all the people, nations, and tongues, we'd better get used to idea that some of them wear different clothes.

Ok. This post is directed towards to coolest, most popular, and uber friend magnets on this site! You know who you are and you know what you do. So I'm milking you for all your best advice for finding, making, or otherwise securing friendship. So please, in 4000 words or less, will you explain how you do it and what advise you would offer the....lets say...friend-resistant amongst us. (Note: If you are just gifted, perhaps you could direct us to the angel who picked you.)

Well, if the church can't produce the document, I don't think they'd have any problem doing another one. Given, of course, the person has all the prereq's in order.

Jane_Doe, what would happen if you just stayed in the church even if the people are being nerds? Would it, or could it be spiritually worth it?

1. I admit it. I've done it. But I made the family cookies and gave a poor kid some coins, so back off! 2. I tried once but I'll never do it again. The ticket taker man person frisked me, dumped out my bag filled with skiddles, and then checked under my tongue for gum. Completely rude! Now..if the guy had been cute, I'd be telling a different story. 3. That never happens. I buy the clothes I shouldn't and they sit in my closet for years until I finally give in and give them to DI. 4. Look. Sometimes you just have to pee. What do you want me to do? Do the potty dance in public? I'm gonna use the stall thank you very much. ANd if someone is there, they can wait. It's not like I'm gonna pee for 80,000 years. 5. I do this all the time. It's entertaining to watch people get so pissed! 6. I would never do that! NEVER! I can't even believe you mentioned it. You really should think twice before you post. 7. What's an aeroplane? How attractive are the pilots?? 8. I don't know, but are you going to finish that eclair? 9. It's just so hard to remember all that formality! Anyway, if you mistake a Miss for a Mrs, you might get slugged. 10. Hey. Puppy mills provide badly needed jobs! Geesh.

Start by saying..."I CAN do this!"

Taking the sacrament multiple times? I've done that loads of times and I was only struck dumb once. So ...there you go!

I used to teach at the MTC. I taught lots of cute missionaries with tattoos. :) Granted most of them were less conspicuous. But from what you've said, I can't even seeing it as an issue for you at all. Remember, God judges us on our hearts. Don't worry about the tattoo. It represents that past. What is important is the now and who you are and your righteous desires that may be growing inside of you. Go forward without a spirit of fear, but with a spirit of faith and trust in a God that is kind, understanding, and who cares way more about helping you into covenant living than the little design you put on your back. :)

Does your husband know you feel this way? Is your husband depressed and therefore retreating into isolation? Without hearing your husbands side, it's hard to advise. But it sounds like you are arguing with reality. And when we do that we always create more suffering. I'm not saying that we just roll over and let our spouses decisions mow us down. What I am saying is to identify what you can and can't change and move towards more acceptance of what you can't change and empowerment about what you can. If your husband can work, but won't. It could be good to confront that is some loving and safe way. If he can't work and what it means is that you can't have your dream of staying home with a baby, then mourn the loss of your dream and create another one with the help of your sweetheart.

I so get that church can feel "empty". I've felt that way. It appears neither you and I are alone in feeling this frustration. It has been helpful for me to follow the advice listed in the previous comments. Its good to see the forest for the trees and give human people a break from all that perfectionism. But its not really about that. It is a humbling thing to realize that my judgement of others and their human-ness has only to do with my weakness in needing to judge them and blame them for the supposed "emptiness". As I exercise courage to look at myself further I realize that what I see and judge in them is actually a mirror of me. Perhaps it's me this isn't spiritually preparing for the meeting. Perhaps its me that expects them to prepare to feed me spiritually in all the special ways I think I need in order feel spiritually filled. Its tough to face my own misdirected sense of entitlement and impatience and unwillingness to do my own work. Or maybe those speakers at church really are flat and unprepared spiritually and all the rest. But truthfully none of it matters. Our relationship and access to the teachings, influence, tutorials from the Godhead had always been and will always be independent of anyone else on the planet. In essence, we are responsible for our own spiritual experiences. When I do my work and when I humble myself into diligent spiritual practice, it doesn't matter who speaks or how. I always learn and am edified. Always.

I like this. Thank you. I'd just add that for me, even though I am married, I feel my sexuality and my commitment to, and learnings within, the law of chastity are my own. There are times when the statement "if your married its ok" or "if you both agree its ok" seems sufficient but as I use them, I find myself wanting more than that. I'm sure that sexuality inside the church isn't easy for anyone. The church doesn't legislate all sexual behaviors (thank goodness! for a number of reasons), but I like the idea that I do! I get to legislate my sexual behaviors with the help of my God. And I don't have to do it in a spirit of fear or inside a straightjacket of piety either. I can be a sexual being and really enjoy a good orgasm. AND I can do so in a way that makes me feel whole and worthy and growing sexually in spiritually beneficial ways. I hope that makes sense. Not sure I said that well.

I love the idea that conversion is a personal thing. My spiritual journey has been absolutely that and I wouldn't have had it any other way, even if much of it has been unexpected. I love that you know yourself...and that you know what intrigues you. Perhaps God will work with that and speak to you in ways that mean the most to you. It would be interesting to see how God challenges a person like you. :) I remember working with one man. He did end up joining the church but only after a great deal of study. For him, it was the Doctrine and Covenants that opened his heart. An appreciation for the Book of Mormon and Pearl of Great Price came later. While I generally believe that houses are best build with a foundation, and that the Book of Mormon is the foundation for much of the LDS faith, I can't prioritize the LDS canon. It's all there and it's all important. On a personal note, I do agree that the Pearl is "theological". But I've also come to know more about the nature and personality of God in a personal and intimate way. My study of the book has been a rather tender experience as I've come to understand things in my heart as well as my mind. For these insights, its hard to find words. Best wishes in your studies. I hope you find what it is you are looking for.

Hi Mikedavis! I really appreciate your post. It is a good reminder to all of us long timers in the church. I don't think we members always realize what it's like to be new. We take our experience for granted and forget how foreign and confusing it can be to transition into the church. I'm sorry that your first year has been difficult and frustrating. I hope that you'll let God do what He does best...and that is to turn everything for our good. Perhaps in some way this trial will turn out to be a blessing. Whatever it is, it sure seems like your needs are known and that God is working for you. I sure hope you can keep your eye fixed upon Father and His will for your life. It's hard to do with so much humanness everywhere. But if you can figure it out, it sure is helpful. Blessings to you and may your home teachers get a clue! LOL

I think the only rule is the one written in your family culture and the h-e-double you'll catch if you break it.