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pepperann27

question for single guys...

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it really depends on the girl, and if i get along with her and like her and such. it wouldn't prevent me from dating a girl to know she had health problems, i am one to take time to get to know someone before i date them tho....

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There are some health problems that would make it difficult for some men to approach a girl yes.

I don't think seasonal allergies are going to be a cause for a guy to run away when he sees you, but certain medical issues do need certain delicacy that some young men just don't have the capability to emotionally handle. It's nothing personal, but I can imagine it might be hard for a guy to say, approach a girl in a wheelchair. Not because there is anything wrong about the girl, but because he may not know how to talk to her without appearing insensitive.

It really depends on what the issue, and the guy at hand.

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It really depends on the issue, pepperann27. Some medical problems are mistaken for other things (such as obesity due to diabetes mistaken for a woman not taking care of her body), sometimes they do provide a barrier to an immature man or a man of a certain type.

I agree with RachelleDrew: it depends on the medical issue, and the guy in question. However... boys will be boys. I apologize for my gender's occasional (read: frequent) moronic escapades.

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I have digestive problems, I have had colonic inertia, rectal inertia, and now I have small bowel inertia and I also have a ileostomy, I too have chronic pain.

Do you think that could scare guys off? it is sad if it would because I am a nice person.

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best thing to do is to just be yourself. guys, if they arent shallow, will understand and get past it. just remember, your Heavenly Father loves you and has a plan for you. we just need to not forget that some things are in the Lords time.

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I met a girl online & we are eager to meet each other. She is going through a major health trial right now (very serious), but it is not stopping me from wanting to date her. We have become very close & I hope to become closer to her. Don't worry about it too much - just live your life the best you can & something good will come of it. If we dwell too much on the negative, others sometimes pick up on that. I used to do that, but I have made some changes in my life & the way I feel now is amazing. Just concentrate on the good things in your life & you will be amazed at how different things will be.

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Hello pepperann27, It’ always a personal matter as another person gets involved with dating. He or she should always date for the right reasons. The right reasons should always be unselfish.

I think I know how you feel. It's a lonely road to feel rejected due to a physical disability. I remember what President Monson said once in a talk he gave at a General Conference. In his talk he was talking to a boy named "Tommy" about death, because I think one of Tommy's pets had died. He said that there would be other worlds in which to climb mountains, see blue skies, breath fresh air, hear the birds sing, and walk with a loved one. The purpose of this life is to test your faith and obedience. Regardless of the hardship of carrying a personal cross of affliction, it can be done. When you feel depressed and lonely, get your mind immediately on those things that are positive and uplifting. At first, this is hard to do, but after you keep trying and asking for God's help it will work out right.

So, I say to you pepperann27, it may matter a lot to you now what others see in you. If men don't see your finer qualities, then that is their problem. Your challenge is to always show the kindness you have inside. As you continue to do this day after day, you will find that you have a great treasure inside that few possess. This is your gift from God and it will continue to grow within as you endure. It will never be lost and there will come a time when the afflictions you bear now will become great blessings to those who know you. I hope this has been of some help with your question.

Edited by Gargantuan
grammar

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date yes...marry no.....think about it would you want to deal with someone elses issues. marriage is tough enough with out pre existing meical conditions....and is there a chance this can be passed on to potential kids....

call me shallow but I say date yes marry no.....

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Good idea, not to focus on your poor health. It's better to allow a person to get to knlow you first before an announcement is made about your health.

For instance, I have poor healthand if I'dmentioned it to every single peron the minute we met,molst would've thought "That poor man, I really feel sorry for him." LOL The focus on what possible good qualities you may have is dimmed and the concentrate on the overt menifestations of your health. Make sense? :)

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I have digestive problems, I have had colonic inertia, rectal inertia, and now I have small bowel inertia and I also have a ileostomy, I too have chronic pain.

Do you think that could scare guys off? it is sad if it would because I am a nice person.

Is it correctable by surgery?

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Your afflictions will obviously make you feel uncomfortable. I can understand why you’d want to stay away from others if you feel that bad. I also think that other men you may like and are worth anything will understand your affliction and regardless your current health a true friend will be accepting and understanding. The inner glow coming from a good person who endures suffering well is amazing and very helpful to those without that type of human understanding. Gar :)

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Will, this isn't an attack (and I don't think you're shallow at all, perfectly reasonable to not want those things in your marriage) but you might want to reconsider your 'date but not marry' answer. If you were ever in this situation and dated a girl who really liked you when you knew it would never work with then she would be terribly hurt when she found out.

If it was me, I'd prefer that you didn't ask me out to start with - but pepperann might disagree since she's actually experiencing it and I'm just imagining.

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Will, this isn't an attack (and I don't think you're shallow at all, perfectly reasonable to not want those things in your marriage) but you might want to reconsider your 'date but not marry' answer. If you were ever in this situation and dated a girl who really liked you when you knew it would never work with then she would be terribly hurt when she found out.

If it was me, I'd prefer that you didn't ask me out to start with - but pepperann might disagree since she's actually experiencing it and I'm just imagining.

While agree if you are seriously dating a girl it would be wrong to pursue to the relationship because you may hurt her feelings, but a casual date..."hey you want to get a bite to eat" one time..not a big deal IMO...

yes dating more than once knowing that you cannot or will not marry this person would be unfair and raise expectations...I would never do that I would be up front and honest if she wanted to continue dating me...

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Pepperann, you many wish to keep your eye out for some guy who works in nursing. Nurses are very caring and helpful.

I wanted to add my opinion to this comment.

Starting a relationship with someone based on their occupation is not good advice. I have worked in nursing for sometime and would be upset if someone was interested in me for my job description and skills - instead of for who I am. I also wanted to add that not all medical and nursing personnel are as compassionate as they'd have you believe. I can guarantee that many of them do not want to be involved in a "nurse/patient" relationship outside of work and in their personal life. You'll find people that are comfortable and uncomfortable with dating someone with health issues, regardless, of their job description.

Anyway. Sometimes friendship and love finds you when you're not so actively seeking it. Keep a positive attitude and it will bring people to you. You don't have to be perfect. No body is. Everyone has their own afflictions, some more serious than others. I know that sometimes people find friendship and love through support groups, with others that deal with same or similar issues. I am apart of a BP and ED community and I have built several good friendships via that.

Stay strong :]

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Don't be that concerned with yourself. If you are living your life to the best that you can and are happy with who you are, than you will have a better chance at attracting someone kind. If you are self-centered and unhappy that would be more reason to not attract a nice guy than having a health problem.

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Would you date a girl who has health problems? I am curious because I have health problems and I am wondering if thats why I haven't had a boyfriend or haven't gone on many dates.

Does it affect your confidence in social situations?

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Does it affect your confidence in social situations?

In response to that inquiry from Max, I believe it could affect one'sconfidence, but I've known many who have refused to allow a disability to affect them negatively and they have developed better social skills than those without a hindrance. Gar

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I don´t think that a health problem would be a cause for me not to date or marry a girl.

I mean the most important thing is that she is loveable, that she has a beautiful character.

And if there are health problems, people have to stick together.

I won`t see a problem. I would be proud -if the person is ill or not- to make her happy.

For me there are no differences between healthy and ill people. Just differences between people with a good character or a bad character.

Hopefully I belong to the "good" side.

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