Advice on nonconformity

[pam]

I've just found that modest and covering garments "usually" go hand in hand.

[RachelleDrew]

I wasn't raised LDS, so dresses like that look perfectly acceptable and modest to me. All of my my prom/homecoming/pageant dresses were strapless. I just didn't think anything of it.

Even as a member of the church now, it's very difficult for me to adjust to "modest" clothing. I often wear clothing that other members would not. Not because i'm trying to disobey the rules, I honestly just don't notice when something is considered immodest by the church standards until someone informs me of such. Luckily i'm still close with my soon-to-be-ex-inlaws. They are good about gently letting me know when something isn't appropriate for an LDS member.

[pam]

So much of modesty is also based on body types. What might appear to be totally modest on one person maybe have the totally opposite look on another.

[Guest Alana]

So much of modesty is also based on body types. What might appear to be totally modest on one person maybe have the totally opposite look on another.

True. Some of my bustier friends can show a lot of boob and still be wearing their garments. Same with long legs. With those two dresses, there's no way you could wear garments with them. When teenagers refuse to wear tank tops, I really admire them picking where they are going to draw the line and sticking to it. (and the line being a modest one;)

[Heavenguard]

Oh my, I do believe I have the vapours!

As stated earlier, the standard for modesty has changed, and will continue to, through time. Even the garments would be too immodest for the 1700s and earlier, I think. The trend is to go with less and less covering, I think... perhaps we'll return to the Garden of Eden look?

(Non-LDS opinion flying thru!) I don't think either of those dresses are immodest.

I do think that the women in the dresses are a little unrealistic, though.

[beefche]

I wasn't raised LDS, so dresses like that look perfectly acceptable and modest to me. All of my my prom/homecoming/pageant dresses were strapless. I just didn't think anything of it.

Even as a member of the church now, it's very difficult for me to adjust to "modest" clothing. I often wear clothing that other members would not. Not because i'm trying to disobey the rules, I honestly just don't notice when something is considered immodest by the church standards until someone informs me of such. Luckily i'm still close with my soon-to-be-ex-inlaws. They are good about gently letting me know when something isn't appropriate for an LDS member.

Forgive me, but I can't remember if you wear garments. If your clothing covers your garments and are not too snug, then I would think whatever you wear is modest. Am I missing something? Perhaps you don't wear the traditional "Molly" Mormon dresses (those jumper things that basically just drape from your shoulders), but I wouldn't think it immodest if garments are covered and the clothes aren't too tight.

[Elgama]

Forgive me, but I can't remember if you wear garments. If your clothing covers your garments and are not too snug, then I would think whatever you wear is modest. Am I missing something? Perhaps you don't wear the traditional "Molly" Mormon dresses (those jumper things that basically just drape from your shoulders), but I wouldn't think it immodest if garments are covered and the clothes aren't too tight.

its possible to be immodest and cover garments^_^ the low cut tops I wear whilst I am breastfeeding under my other clothes cover my garments

-Charley

[Carl62]

I think in some ways we're missing the bigger picture in that it's not so much on how immodest a woman is dressed that will attract them attention or even cause improper thoughts in young males, but it simply comes down to how that person looks. I can assure you that if you take those two models that are in those pictures and dress them up in FLDS attire, they'd STILL get way more attention then some girls who would go into the prom dressed in a halter top and short shorts. I think it's nice to say that we want girls to dress nicely and appropriately for what we think our Heavenly Father would want, but that still doesn't mean that it couldn't draw major attention. To be perfectly honest, there are some women I WISH would dress a little more modestly because a halter top and a big gut or short shorts and cottage cheese legs don't exactly make for sexy combinations. While on the other hand, you could put a woman in very garment friendly turtle neck sweaters all through her 20's-30's but if she's gorgeous, works out and has a shapely body, then decides to get breast augmentation surgery and comes out with 'D' sizes, then all bets are off as to what kind of illicit thoughts these may persuade young men to have.

Edited July 25, 2009 by Carl62

[Wants2Know]

I like the black one.

[arh14040]

I think modesty should be up to the person wearing the clothes. As a non member LDS getting baptized in a week, as long as I don't show too much cleavage or my butt I am good.

[JamieLynneLotus]

To me, if you're not hurting anyone, go for it. That's always been my belief. I'm a non-conformist with a lot of things, especially the way that I dress. I treat others with respect and they do the same for me.

I have piercings, dyed hair, tattoos, and I wear slacks to church instead of skirts. I'm Mormon. No matter how I look, my people are good to me. Outside of church, I wear tank tops with my jeans. I don't consider it a bad thing at all. Just me being myself. I understand how some people view my style, but if I'm not dressed like a total floosy, I don't need the fuss.

Use your best judgment on dress. Just from my perspective, if it were my daughter, and she wanted to wear a prom dress that wasn't exactly church friendly (IE: strapless or thin straps) then I would definitely let her. It's prom, if the dress was still elegant and not trashy, then I would be fine with it.

[Vort]

Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity in new clothes.

[annewandering]

Around here most of the families make their own dresses. In fact if you dont they will look at you oddly. lol. The reason is the modesty problem. The dresses always look gorgeous. Got to hand it to the ladies who know how to sew well! Men too but dont know of any dads making them here.

Have to address the 'dragon' comment. Sorry ladies but women have their own dragons and if they say not they are either hormonally deficient or lying. Dressing modestly helps us to remember to be chaste in our thoughts as well has helping the guys out. Its a win win situation to be modest even at prom.

[MarginOfError]

Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity in new clothes.

I usually refer to this as anti-conformity.

[Vort]

I usually refer to this as anti-conformity.

"I want tats and piercings because I want to be SPECIAL, my OWN MAN, UNIQUE, an INDIVIDUAL -- just like all my friends."

[Dravin]

Remember, you're unique, just like everybody else.

[NeuroTypical]

No two people are like each other,

So don't be a look alike copying another!

Unless, of course, you're copying me -

'Cause that gives you individuality!

- Mr. Fabulous, formerly from the band Love Handël

[Guest DeborahC]

What bugs me is when the dresses are so short, the garments are hanging out below the hem like leggings.. or when they wear a shirt that is shorter than the garment shirt and they use the hem like a lacy bottom. I don't know.. it just doesn't feel right.