Your thoughts on Desiring multiple wives

[jonathan.plumb]

Let's start with a brief (very brief) history of where monogamy comes from. I heard several rumors so I decided to research this topic myself. In a nutshell, monogamy was introduced by the Romans in a misbelief about why Catholic Priests were unable to be married. The Romans, several years after the Catholics instituded their policy for Priests to be unmarried, believed that the reason this was instituted was so that Priests could be "Married to God." At that point in time, it became popular belief that in order to be the most righteous, you could not have a spouse and that sexual relations was might as well be a sin. Somehow in all that mess, a law was instituded that basically said that IF you decide to get married, it can only be to increase the power of Rome, and even then you can only have 1 wife. And so Monogamy was born. However, the REAL reason that Priests were not allowed to be married was because there was a fluke of priests that were trying to give part of the church to their sons as an inheritance, which of course the church forbade, and caused all sorts of problems.... The doctrine of monogamy was carried over when Rome fell into all those parts of the world, and since the original settlers of America were from that part of the world, many of their core laws came with them.

I don't remember EXACTLY off the top of my head, but there's something like 150+ recognized cultures in the world, and only 13 of them (give or take a couple) practice Monogamy. It is actually a very small belief system.

Now we know that almost all of the Biblical prophets and many of our LDS prophets had more than one wife up until the 1900s when the US instituted stricter laws against it, and to conform with the laws (so we wouldn't get driven out of the promised land), we received revelation to stop practicing plural marriage.

However, as far as I've found, plural marriage is STILL a celestial law, although it is temorarily not being practiced (just like drinking wine, the law of consecration, etc .... we're just not "ready" for them at this time).

Now that all my mumbo jumbo is done, let me move on:

Because of US laws, many people who are married who "look on" another woman get a feeling of guilt because often it can lead to illegal practices which obviously we don't support. HOWEVER, is there any actual "sin" or what-not related to desiring to have more than one wife?

Just to clarify, I love my wife more than anything on this planet, and I would never want to substitute her or get rid of her or anything like that. She is a perfect angel in my eyes. However, I still find beauty in ALL women (regardless of race, weight, etc), and maybe I'm just trying to justify my "looking on other women," but I've researched it, and prayed about it, and find no fault. But others try to make me feel guilty, that is why I pose the topic to you guys.

Your thoughts?

[Just_A_Guy]

I think Jacob 2 is clear. Whatever other cultures do, the default among the Lord's people is "no, unless God says yes".

Looking on women is fine, unless there's lust involved. Again, see Jacob 2. The only one who can tell you if you're looking on women "with lust"--and, therefore, sinning--is you.

[ryanh]

The desire is of the 'natural man' part of us. This life is the time allotted to conquer the natural man.

If it’s illegal, if it’s not commanded, there is no use in looking at other cultures (or lustfully at other women for that matter).

Edited September 23, 2009 by ryanh

[NeuroTypical]

monogamy was introduced by the Romans

there's something like 150+ recognized cultures in the world, and only 13 of them (give or take a couple) practice Monogamy. It is actually a very small belief system.

I'm gonna need some sources there, friend. I assume you're getting this from Margaret Mead and that "Myth of Monogamy" book, but want to make sure. Exactly what sources did you research?

LM

[ploomf]

I'm not sure where the OP got his information LM but according to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook of the 1231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygamy, 588 had more frequent polygamy, and 4 had polyandry.

[jonathan.plumb]

I don't have any sources, it was Googled research nearly a year ago. But I think you're right, I was thinking 150+ and 13-ish, but 1231 and 186 are pretty close to 10-times the numbers I was thinking, but the ratio is similar.

However, the history of monogamy is not a "secret" and I'm sure you can find all sorts of sources easily on Google that verify the same information. I read I think 5 sources that all said the same thing, so it's not like I was looking at one source and taking it as truth.

As for "desire" being part of the natural man, I don't understand where your sources are from. If I recall correctly, polygamy was a lawful commandment from God for about 75 years, before "man" decided it was bad for us. I ask you one question, who's law rules in heaven? Man or God?

[Misshalfway]

Now that all my mumbo jumbo is done, let me move on:

Because of US laws, many people who are married who "look on" another woman get a feeling of guilt because often it can lead to illegal practices which obviously we don't support. HOWEVER, is there any actual "sin" or what-not related to desiring to have more than one wife?

Just to clarify, I love my wife more than anything on this planet, and I would never want to substitute her or get rid of her or anything like that. She is a perfect angel in my eyes. However, I still find beauty in ALL women (regardless of race, weight, etc), and maybe I'm just trying to justify my "looking on other women," but I've researched it, and prayed about it, and find no fault. But others try to make me feel guilty, that is why I pose the topic to you guys.

Your thoughts?

Looking at a person of the opposite sex and recognizing attractiveness or beauty or talent is not sinful. Looking upon a woman to lust after her IS. It's all about the desires of the heart. There is no doubt that many of us could be married to and happy with a variety of different people. It is the discipline of marriage including fidelity and honor that is important here.

Guilt. It's an interesting emotion. Others tend to be able to make us feel guilt for anything. Heck, sometimes I feel guilty cause I didn't clip as many good coupons as my SIL! It's rather ridiculous, don't you think, to let others and their opinions make us question ourselves so?

I think its better if we are the masters of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Then we, together with the Spirit of God, can know if there is anything in our character that is amiss.

And what does this have to do with polygamy? They Lord requires our hearts to become oriented to righteousness no matter the circumstance.

Edited September 23, 2009 by Misshalfway

[Just_A_Guy]

As for "desire" being part of the natural man, I don't understand where your sources are from. If I recall correctly, polygamy was a lawful commandment from God for about 75 years, before "man" decided it was bad for us. I ask you one question, who's law rules in heaven? Man or God?

Jacob 1:15

And now it came to pass that the people of Nephi, under the reign of the second king, began to grow hard in their hearts, and indulge themselves somewhat in wicked practices, such as like unto David of old desiring many wives and concubines, and also Solomon, his son.

[NeuroTypical]

I ask you one question, who's law rules in heaven? Man or God?

Well, at the end of the day, I suppose my church urges godly laws here on earth too. So for right now, it doesn't really matter what position I could reason and evidence and historically document my way into, I'll be listening to my church leaders, who are seem to be currently quite entrenched in "one man married to one woman"-ism.

LM

(Dang - I didn't even get to use my "one fer lookin', one fer cookin'" joke...)

[Moksha]

The desire is of the 'natural man' part of us. This life is the time allotted to conquer the natural man.

If it’s illegal, if it’s not commanded, there is no use in looking at other cultures (or lustfully at other women for that matter).

This natual man behavior is usually accompanied by the phrase, "variety is the spice of life".

[jonathan.plumb]

Jacob 1:15

I think there is a difference between wanting multiple wives for personal pleasure (as is clearly identified in that verse via the "concubines" additional reference).

Mormon 9:9: For do we not read that God is the asame byesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no cvariableness neither shadow of changing?

"No variableness ... of changing." God does not give a commandment to men for their benefit. All commandments given to men are of God.

To clarify further, I do not lust after other women. It's not like I see them and want to use them, etc, but I actually desire to find many women that I feel I could spend all of time and eternity with.

My intention is not to stir things up, don't think I'm trying to contradict anything our church teaches. But I honestly believe (as mentioned earlier, I have prayed...several times, regarding the topic) that although we are restricted in our current state, that when God returns and His law is returned to this planet, that plural marriage will again be an acceptable practice under righteous desires and conditions.

This is the biggest reason why I was wondering others' input on desiring of other women (for righteous desires, not lustful, I guess I should have clarified that in my original post). That of course includes all the pleasures that come with being married, from intimate to reproductive, to just having friends around at all times that you can share every detail of your life with.

[Misshalfway]

There are many men I could enjoy...... I think its all rather beside the point.

[Generally_Me]

Didn't read the whole thread, just the OP.

I am of the opinion that the difference is: Desiring multiple wives, vs. desiring to follow the Lord. It seems that when He commanded early saints to practice polygamy, they did so because they desired to serve the Lord, not to serve their own loins.

[James_Fryman]

Who would want to have another wife anyways? One wife nagging is bad enough but ten?!?!?! :)

[MrsAri]

Your thoughts on Desiring multiple wives

I have no desire for multiple wives, tyvm.

[Over43]

"Multiple Wives", Polygamy, or whatever we call it is an interesting concept. It is actually quite widely practiced throughout the worls, and by various religions. I'm not sure if they still do, but Islam used to allow polygamy. In certain areas of the world Buddhists are also found in polygamist relationships.

In Catholic South America I have heard you can often find gentlemen with multiple spouses. Not that it is sanctioned by Rome, but several friends who went to S.A. on missions regularly had to check and make sure contacts were married to one souse.

On a personal level, one wife is plenty.

O.

[Misshalfway]

My intention is not to stir things up, don't think I'm trying to contradict anything our church teaches. But I honestly believe (as mentioned earlier, I have prayed...several times, regarding the topic) that although we are restricted in our current state, that when God returns and His law is returned to this planet, that plural marriage will again be an acceptable practice under righteous desires and conditions.

This is the biggest reason why I was wondering others' input on desiring of other women (for righteous desires, not lustful, I guess I should have clarified that in my original post). That of course includes all the pleasures that come with being married, from intimate to reproductive, to just having friends around at all times that you can share every detail of your life with.

I really think that you might be better served by taking your desires up with the Lord. I think the spirit will tell you if there is righteousness or error in them.

[miztrniceguy]

One is plenty for me.

[Lorenzo]

I was sealed in the temple to my first wife. After she passed away I remarried. We were sealed also. So when we get to the Celestial Kingdom, I'm supposed to dump one of them?

[Justice]

No thanks, I have my one and only. :)

[deseretgov]

I've stated my opinon of desiring multiple wives twice before in this forum. So I'm sure many of you have heard if before.

And I'll say it, yes I desire multiple wives. I already do have one wife. She is everything I could ever ask for. I love her very much. We also have a beautiful little girl.

One reason I desire multiple wives to be a worthy husband to women who dont have one. There are many in the Philippines. There simply aren't enough worthy men. Of course then if the worthy men who are already there could marry them.

But our baby is also another reason I have seriously thought about plural marriage. It would be so nice for myself and my wife to have another person to help take care of the baby. Everyone would get much more sleep and the house could get taken care of.

But I have but serious thought into the subject. One thing I've done is tried to imagine my wife having more than one husband. Then I examine my feelings about that. Having more than one wife would not be an easy thing to do. And because of that I can see why it is a higher law. It would require so much more effort, time, work, honesty, etc to make a plural marriage work.

[Prodigal_Son]

Multiple wives? You must be a better man than I, because it takes all I've got to successfully navigate my life with just ONE daughter of God.

[jadams_4040]

Let's start with a brief (very brief) history of where monogamy comes from. I heard several rumors so I decided to research this topic myself. In a nutshell, monogamy was introduced by the Romans in a misbelief about why Catholic Priests were unable to be married. The Romans, several years after the Catholics instituded their policy for Priests to be unmarried, believed that the reason this was instituted was so that Priests could be "Married to God." At that point in time, it became popular belief that in order to be the most righteous, you could not have a spouse and that sexual relations was might as well be a sin. Somehow in all that mess, a law was instituded that basically said that IF you decide to get married, it can only be to increase the power of Rome, and even then you can only have 1 wife. And so Monogamy was born. However, the REAL reason that Priests were not allowed to be married was because there was a fluke of priests that were trying to give part of the church to their sons as an inheritance, which of course the church forbade, and caused all sorts of problems.... The doctrine of monogamy was carried over when Rome fell into all those parts of the world, and since the original settlers of America were from that part of the world, many of their core laws came with them.

I don't remember EXACTLY off the top of my head, but there's something like 150+ recognized cultures in the world, and only 13 of them (give or take a couple) practice Monogamy. It is actually a very small belief system.

Now we know that almost all of the Biblical prophets and many of our LDS prophets had more than one wife up until the 1900s when the US instituted stricter laws against it, and to conform with the laws (so we wouldn't get driven out of the promised land), we received revelation to stop practicing plural marriage.

However, as far as I've found, plural marriage is STILL a celestial law, although it is temorarily not being practiced (just like drinking wine, the law of consecration, etc .... we're just not "ready" for them at this time).

Now that all my mumbo jumbo is done, let me move on:

Because of US laws, many people who are married who "look on" another woman get a feeling of guilt because often it can lead to illegal practices which obviously we don't support. HOWEVER, is there any actual "sin" or what-not related to desiring to have more than one wife?

Just to clarify, I love my wife more than anything on this planet, and I would never want to substitute her or get rid of her or anything like that. She is a perfect angel in my eyes. However, I still find beauty in ALL women (regardless of race, weight, etc), and maybe I'm just trying to justify my "looking on other women," but I've researched it, and prayed about it, and find no fault. But others try to make me feel guilty, that is why I pose the topic to you guys.

Your thoughts?

My thoughts on having multiple wives? i just dunno; every time i begin to think about it my wife puts a very abrupt end to my thinking!:)

[pam]

I've stated my opinon of desiring multiple wives twice before in this forum. So I'm sure many of you have heard if before.

And I'll say it, yes I desire multiple wives. I already do have one wife. She is everything I could ever ask for. I love her very much. We also have a beautiful little girl.

One reason I desire multiple wives to be a worthy husband to women who dont have one. There are many in the Philippines. There simply aren't enough worthy men. Of course then if the worthy men who are already there could marry them.

But our baby is also another reason I have seriously thought about plural marriage. It would be so nice for myself and my wife to have another person to help take care of the baby. Everyone would get much more sleep and the house could get taken care of.

But I have but serious thought into the subject. One thing I've done is tried to imagine my wife having more than one husband. Then I examine my feelings about that. Having more than one wife would not be an easy thing to do. And because of that I can see why it is a higher law. It would require so much more effort, time, work, honesty, etc to make a plural marriage work.

Where's the mention of loving those extra wives? You mention help with taking care of a baby and house. Hardly a reason to have more than one wife.

You could hire a nanny or a housekeeper far more cheaply than marrying multiple women.

[Snow]

Let's start with a brief (very brief) history of where monogamy comes from. I heard several rumors so I decided to research this topic myself. In a nutshell, monogamy was introduced by the Romans in a misbelief about why Catholic Priests were unable to be married. The Romans, several years after the Catholics instituded their policy for Priests to be unmarried, believed that the reason this was instituted was so that Priests could be "Married to God."

You're either an unfunny comedian or a bad science fiction writer.

Which is it?