So...I have a friend that.....

[jherre]

Ok so I ll just admit it now... Its me.

I was married for about 7 years(we have 3 children together)(we were married in temple). About 5 years into it my wife (at the time) told me she was gay. Less than 6 months later she had an affair or two and bla bla bla now were divorced.

Its been about 3 years and havent dated. I am having trouble meeting anyone to date.

I guess that my problem is that if I were a single LDS girl I would have a hard time dating a divorced father of 3 that didnt serve a mission.

I have tried all of those online dating sites with no success. I am just not the go up and talk to people type. So ........ how am I supposed to meet someone.

Wow reading thru this I seem a bit lonely and scatterbrained, but I think you get the jist of it.

[pam]

Do you have full custody of your children or is it shared?

[annewandering]

It would have to be hard to even want to date again after that.

Do you have any hesitations because of trust issues? If not wow.

You have kids. Go places with them. Women love men who love their kids.

[Bini]

I'm pretty sure there are sites online for singles with children :] You may want to try that.

Oh and I second, annewandering, on the "women love men who love their kids" :]

[jherre]

We have shared custody.

[jherre]

It would have to be hard to even want to date again after that.

Do you have any hesitations because of trust issues? If not wow.

You have kids. Go places with them. Women love men who love their kids.

Well yea I have trust issues. for the first 5 years I thought that had the perfect marriage and the perfect life with a perfect family. And then had it all shattered. I will probably have trust issues my whole life. I dont think this is something that someone can completely recover from.

[jherre]

I have to find someone to "not trust" first. :)

[beefche]

I'm not going to lie...it's hard finding ways to meet other LDS, especially if you live outside Mormonland of Ut, AZ, ID, CA, etc. Even then, it's hard to meet single LDS people over the age of 30.

Loneliness happens to all people whether single or married. I recommend that you do things that are interesting to you and live your life fully. Take whatever opportunities there are to meet single women. If a friend wants to set up you, allow it. Go to church and activities. Get involved in the Single Adult activities in your area. But, do things for your interest as well. That will help with the loneliness. And the best way to have happiness in yourself is to serve others. Be of service in the church--fulfill your callings and look for opportunities around you to serve.

I think most women over 30 or so in the Church understand the reality--they are prepared to meet, date, marry men who are widowed or divorced with kids.

[talisyn]

Ok so I ll just admit it now... Its me.

I was married for about 7 years(we have 3 children together)(we were married in temple). About 5 years into it my wife (at the time) told me she was gay. Less than 6 months later she had an affair or two and bla bla bla now were divorced.

Its been about 3 years and havent dated. I am having trouble meeting anyone to date.

I guess that my problem is that if I were a single LDS girl I would have a hard time dating a divorced father of 3 that didnt serve a mission.

I have tried all of those online dating sites with no success. I am just not the go up and talk to people type. So ........ how am I supposed to meet someone.

Wow reading thru this I seem a bit lonely and scatterbrained, but I think you get the jist of it.

Best advice I can think of is maybe checkout the sisters who are not first on your list in terms of physical features or what not. Theya re usually very nice and sweet. We have all of eternity to be hotties, right now there may be some who are afflicted by mortal dna lol.

[FairChild]

I know if I were younger, I would accept a man such as you. It isn't your children or the divorce or the fact you didn't go on a mission that has slowed your progress in finding a suitable companion, rather I think it is the insecurities of your self and lack of trust that hinder you in the dating world.

[will227457]

raise your kids and dont worry about dating....wait till they are grown they have had enough trama with mommy going over the deep end don't confuse them more by adding a second mommy...

[Canuck Mormon]

Ok so I ll just admit it now... Its me.

I was married for about 7 years(we have 3 children together)(we were married in temple). About 5 years into it my wife (at the time) told me she was gay. Less than 6 months later she had an affair or two and bla bla bla now were divorced.

Its been about 3 years and havent dated. I am having trouble meeting anyone to date.

I guess that my problem is that if I were a single LDS girl I would have a hard time dating a divorced father of 3 that didnt serve a mission.

I have tried all of those online dating sites with no success. I am just not the go up and talk to people type. So ........ how am I supposed to meet someone.

Wow reading thru this I seem a bit lonely and scatterbrained, but I think you get the jist of it.

For a minute there I thought that this was an old thread that I had started. I went through pretty much the exact same thing, except with less children, only 1. After 7 years of marriage and 15 years together, my wife told me the same thing. We seperated, and she started to see someone right away. It took me about 4-5 years to begin to date again, and I was lucky enough to find someone. All I can say is not to put too much pressure on yourself. Me and my current wife met through ldsmingle.com, and I met some other nice ladies on there as well. Don't rush it though. I was on there for 2 years before I met my wife. Just be yourself and have fun. Good luck!!!!

BTW~I never served a mission either, and it didn't matter to my wife, but I did find that it mattered to some women, but I wasn't interested in them, when they told me that.

[Just_A_Guy]

I know that's Dr. Laura's advice, Will, but she frequently deals with (there's no polite way to say this) highly dysfunctional women who get passed from man to man.

I don't think there's any harm in a single parent seeking a new mate if the parent has the emotional maturity to balance the relationship between a new partner and the children, if the single parent chooses well, and if the kids are on board.

[will227457]

sounds like the OP has trust issues.....dateing and a new partner to me dont seem like a great idea at this time.....

[OldAngel]

Divorced women run into the same problems.

I have a daughter who was married for 3 years and has two young boys. She would love to be married to someone who would actually take her to the temple. Her ex-husband made promises he had no intention of keeping. She has been divorced for 4 years and has tried the LDS dating sites. She has had some truly awful experiences. (Many guys on those sites are not what they pretend to be.) She also has dated a couple of guys who seemed to be a perfect fit, but in the end, they weren't ready to have children in their lives. (IMO, when a guy is 30, he should be ready.)

She's attractive and would make a wonderful wife. She already is a wonderful mother. The problem is trying to find good men who are willing to be men. She feels that ,"most guys today are not ready to grow up." They want to have fun, hang out with their buddies and place their families in 3rd or 4th place in their lives. She would be willing to date a divorced man or one who had never married.

My daughter has been hurt and she also has trust issues, but she is determined to put them behind her when she meets a good and righteous man. Her sons encourage her to find them a ,"good daddy."

She won't try the LDS websites again, but I'm not sure how she's going to meet the right guy any other way.

I wish I could do more to help her, but I'm at a loss.

[yenni]

I think most women over 30 or so in the Church understand the reality--they are prepared to meet, date, marry men who are widowed or divorced with kids.

Heck I'm under 30 and I feel this way. Thoroughly willing to date any worthy priesthood holder whether or not he: served a mission, was once married, had kids.

[Hemidakota]

Ok so I ll just admit it now... Its me.

I was married for about 7 years(we have 3 children together)(we were married in temple). About 5 years into it my wife (at the time) told me she was gay. Less than 6 months later she had an affair or two and bla bla bla now were divorced.

Its been about 3 years and havent dated. I am having trouble meeting anyone to date.

I guess that my problem is that if I were a single LDS girl I would have a hard time dating a divorced father of 3 that didnt serve a mission.

I have tried all of those online dating sites with no success. I am just not the go up and talk to people type. So ........ how am I supposed to meet someone.

Wow reading thru this I seem a bit lonely and scatterbrained, but I think you get the jist of it.

I am gay [over abundant happy person] but not a Homosexual or Lesbian. Call it for what it is worth and not covering this gross sin.

Seek for support in these matters before GOD...be persistent in this and I can attest, it will be answered.

[silvermoon]

Well said Fairchild. But I think even more than that you need to be more concerned over your children right now than yourself. Think of what they are facing and devote 110% of your love, concern, time and energies to them. You are lonely, but what are they? Fearful? Lonely? Abandoned (by their mother)? Insecure?

They have to bounce between two homes every weekend. You at least get to stay at one home and not have to spend time with her. They have to face her on a regular basis and be influenced by her evil beliefs and ways. You need to be there for them and be there strength and not be dividing your attention to women who may or may not work out - At least not until they are raised.

[ploomf]

I agree yenni. I wouldn't have any problems dating a divorced man with children. I don't care that much about a mans past just what he plans to do next.

[RadioactiveWolfboy]

I was a divorced 36 year old Non-Mission serving (I'm a convert) male member. I tried dating outside the Church with horrible luck when I happened apon LDS Mingles by sheer luck, okay, okay,... divine intervention. I found my Returned Missionary Wife after about 3 weeks. I am also the proud father of 2 teenagers, both with mental illnesses. There are LDS women out there that just want a GOOD man. Don't get down on yourself. I have now been VERY happily married (in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple) for almost 5 years. She took on me and my 2 kids as well as moved cross country from Utah to Vermont. You can find love with kids!! Good luck!!

Rich