little_dog Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 I am engaged to be married in December. However, I had sex before I met my fiance and have yet to see a bishop. I have prayed, read my scriptures, attended all my meetings and recieved confirmation from Heavenly Father that I have been forgiven. But my sister-in-law knows who I had sex with and approximately how long ago and will not let the topic die. Can I still get sealed in the temple to my love? Or do we have to wait, even though I know I've been forgiven and everything is going right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 Ask your bishop. He is the only one that can make this call. He might say to wait, he might not. But the sooner you do that, the sooner you can be sealed. (If you sincerly repent and are ready to do what the bishop asks.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AGStacker Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 Yes the bishop needs to know that you had sex before entering the Temple. It sounds as if your fiance doesn't know about you having sex either. Is this correct? You don't want to go into the Temple or a marriage feeling doubtful or guilty. Being nervous or anxious should be normal feelings but I think you would feel better if your bishop and fiance know. Some sins can be discussed with the Lord without the bishop and then some must be discussed with the bishop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 The bishop is the judge in Israel. You may think you've been forgiven, but you may not be fully forgiven. To enter the temple requires you to answer the question: are you morally chaste? If you say yes to that question, you are lying to the bishop and stake president, and you are therefore not ready to enter the temple. Do the right thing, or you will suffer from this worthiness question for the rest of your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 You're going to have to tell him....and it will be up to him to decide what to do. Factors to be considered will be how long ago it happened, your repentence. I wouldn't go in there saying "I've been forgiven" as if the church heirarchy doesn't have a say in it though. You can share the extent to which you've repented though, and your personal peace, as well as the angst you must've felt to get there. But you'll have to defer to the formal hierarchy for final permission. I don't think they take kindly to anyone telling them where the bear, and the buckweat stand as the appointed judges in Israel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMGuy Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 You're going to have to tell him....and it will be up to him to decide what to do. Factors to be considered will be how long ago it happened, your repentence. I wouldn't go in there saying "I've been forgiven" as if the church heirarchy doesn't have a say in it though. You can share the extent to which you've repented though, and your personal peace, as well as the angst you must've felt to get there. But you'll have to defer to the formal hierarchy for final permission. I don't think they take kindly to anyone telling them where the bear, and the buckweat stand as the appointed judges in Israel.Mormonmusic makes a good point. You may feel forgiven, you may have been forgiven by your Heavenly Father, but the bishop may still decide to withhold a temple recommend or have you go through the repentence process tha the outlines. Why would he do that, if you really have been forgiven, if you have prayed and felt the power of the atonement, if you have confessed to your intended, if you have forsaken the sin? Because sometimes even bishops get it wrong. At the risk of being almost flip. The temple is the church's ball. They have the right to take it home and not let you play whenever they like. If you want to play, or in this case attend the temple, then you have to play by their rules. In this case, it leaves you with two choices:1. Talk to the Bishop2. Lie. I doubt you will find anyone here that recommends the second. -RM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 Mormonmusic makes a good point. You may feel forgiven, you may have been forgiven by your Heavenly Father, but the bishop may still decide to withhold a temple recommend or have you go through the repentence process tha the outlines. Why would he do that, if you really have been forgiven, if you have prayed and felt the power of the atonement, if you have confessed to your intended, if you have forsaken the sin? Because sometimes even bishops get it wrong. At the risk of being almost flip. The temple is the church's ball. They have the right to take it home and not let you play whenever they like. If you want to play, or in this case attend the temple, then you have to play by their rules. In this case, it leaves you with two choices:1. Talk to the Bishop2. Lie. I doubt you will find anyone here that recommends the second. -RMWhile I don't quite agree with RM's analysis, I fully agree with his (and everyone else's) bottom line: You have to tell the bishop, and you should do it as soon as possible. Do it tonight, if you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madriglace Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 Go to your Bishop and take care of business ... you know you have been forgiven but you still need to go through the steps. I was in the same position ... told my Bishop I knew I had been forgiven but I need to make it offical. For me that was all it took ... I had my temple reccommend a week later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spartan117 Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 I am engaged to be married in December. However, I had sex before I met my fiance and have yet to see a bishop. I have prayed, read my scriptures, attended all my meetings and recieved confirmation from Heavenly Father that I have been forgiven. But my sister-in-law knows who I had sex with and approximately how long ago and will not let the topic die. Can I still get sealed in the temple to my love? Or do we have to wait, even though I know I've been forgiven and everything is going right?Repentance"Serious transgressions, such as violations of the law of chastity, may jeopardize a person's membership in the Church. Therefore, such sins need to be confessed to both the Lord and His priesthood representatives in the Church. This is done under the care of a bishop or branch president and possibly a stake or mission president, who serve as watchmen and judges in the Church. While only the Lord can forgive sins, these priesthood leaders play a critical role in the process of repentance. They will keep confessions confidential and help throughout the process of repentance."Once the repentance process is over it will really be like it never happened, and you will absolutely be able to have a temple wedding. IF there is any kind of disciplinary action that effects your membership status, you obviously will have to work through that as well. You will still be able to get married in the temple after you work through this. I am not questioning your spiritual confirmation of forgiveness, but the guidelines for breaking the law of chastity are perfectly clear in regards to confessing to your bishop. I know a couple who messed up the night before their wedding but went ahead with the sealing anyway. A year later they confessed to their bishop that they fornicated the night before their wedding but chose not to talk to someone about it and got sealed anyway. Even though a year had past and they came forward willingly, they knew they weren't worthy to be sealed in the temple. God will not be mocked, they were excommunicated. This isn't something that fades away with time. If you ignore this now you'll eventually go to your bishop about this. It may be a few years, but you'll go to your bishop, or eventually you'll go inactive. If you've been given forgiveness from Heavenly Father and the Spirit confirmed that, the important part is over. But you know that breaking the law of chastity has to be worked out through priesthood authority. I sincerely wish you well in everything, I really do, regardless of what you chose to do :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 I agree that you should consult your Bishop. Good luck and good for you for doing some soul-searching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirkwood Posted October 13, 2011 Report Share Posted October 13, 2011 Yep, you need to speak with your bishop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little_dog Posted October 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2011 Thank you for your advise everyone. You've given me some hope and courage that I desperately needed. Namaste :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 13, 2011 Report Share Posted October 13, 2011 I'm not sure if anyone mentioned that you should speak to your Bishop. Just thought I'd mention it in case someone else had not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spartan117 Posted October 13, 2011 Report Share Posted October 13, 2011 I'm not sure if anyone mentioned that you should speak to your Bishop. Just thought I'd mention it in case someone else had not.That's why you're the boss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moocow Posted October 14, 2011 Report Share Posted October 14, 2011 No question. You need to confess to your bishop. Repentance 101. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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