What would you say?

[Connie]

What would you say to a single woman who claimed to have received revelation that she did not need to work and that the church should support her and any possible dependents?

[Dravin]

  Connie said:

What would you say to a single woman who claimed to have received revelation that she did not need to work and that the church should support her and any possible dependents?

Unless I was the relevant leadership (Bishopric, RS, EQ/HP) I'd probably just raise an eyebrow and otherwise ignore it.

[Guest]

Myob

[NeuroTypical]

If she's asking for my advice, I'd say "yeah, good luck with that".

If I just happen to know the local gossip about her, I'd ignore gossip, because that's what you're supposed to do with gossip.

If something in between those two are happening, yeah, I'd mind my own business.

[pam]

I think I would be more with what LM said.."Yea, good luck with that."

Unfortunately I would probably also say something rude like.."Sure, I'll just keep paying my fast offerings, so you can reap the benefits of my generosity and sit on your butt."

I just have an attitude with people who think they should have to do nothing and still think they should be supported.

So I guess the best thing for me would just be to be silent and ignore it.

Edited February 5, 2012 by pam

[RipplecutBuddha]

I would hope, with sincere Christ-like love, that her doctor heard her say it, and then begin backing her off her dosages a bit.

[pam]

  Eowyn said:

Myob

Does that stand for make your own beer?

[Guest]

  pam said:

Does that stand for make your own beer?

The Church does want us to be self-sufficient.

[Martain]

As to her revelation, do I doubt she received it? No. That being said, there is no doubt in my mind as to where that revelation came from.

If I could find the exact quote from the prophets I'm thinking of I'd probably want to share it with them but I expect the best thing to do would be to go meet with their bishop and explain the situation.

In talking with him I'd probably share with him this so as to better express the reason why I feel my concern is valid.

[NeuroTypical]

Well, the bishop will be the guy writing out checks and storehouse orders to this lady, so he'll be involved with or without our meeting with him.

[bytebear]

Obviously her revelation contradicts gospel principals, and since her revelation also affects the decisions of church leaders, I would say unless her Bishop and Stake President have the same revelation, since they are the stewards of the temporal needs of her ward, it is a false revelation.

[Backroads]

I don't think I would even take her at her word it's a revelation. She probably just made it up.

[Guest]

  Backroads said:

I don't think I would even take her at her word it's a revelation. She probably just made it up.

Oh, I don't know. I have a SIL who gets all kinds of "revelation" that they've acted on to their detriment over and over and over again. She's quite convinced, though, that she gets inspiration for herself and others all the time. And that her super special discernment powers are not to be ignored.

She's crazy as a loon, but she believes that what she's saying is true. -

[bytebear]

  Eowyn said:

Oh, I don't know. I have a SIL who gets all kinds of "revelation" that they've acted on to their detriment over and over and over again. She's quite convinced, though, that she gets inspiration for herself and others all the time. And that her super special discernment powers are not to be ignored.

She's crazy as a loon, but she believes that what she's saying is true. -

Which is why we have a hierarchy of authority and stewardship. The Church is a house of order. Joseph Smith had to deal with this a lot, with people trying to persuade the church in various things.

[applepansy]

Connie, I wouldn't respond but change the subject and mine my own business. If I was the Bishop's wife and my husband was asking what he should do, I would kindly remind him of his stewardship and the churches position on being self sufficient and prepared.

Good Luck with whatever you're dealing with.

[jayanna]

I would not say a thing, not one thing, not to her and not to anyone else. Actually, that has happened to me while I was VT. My lips are sealed as to who and when. The RS Pres. and Bishop are aware, that is all who need to know.

If it is not a true revelation, then she is really only hurting herself more. I would really really pray for the poor bishop that has to deal with it. If there are children in the home it is really hard to tell someone 'no' to assistance, ya know?

[Dove]

After reading through all the threads, one thought that comes to my mind is, who are we to judge? A lot of the responses towards this woman, whom we don't even know, have been rather derogatory.....

I think "minding our own business" goes a little farther than simply not saying what's in our hearts. "Minding our own business" can apply to our heart and thoughts as well.

Maybe this sister doesn't want to work in order to stay home (be a stay at home mom) and raise her children. I don't know, neither do I know the church's position on this. I do remember as a missionary a father whose wife had left their family of at least four kids. He quit his job to be a stay at home dad. They were impoverished. I, myself, would be more than willing to give what money I could to help in a situation like that. Why not do the same for a woman who wants to raise her children?

I do think it is church policy for a single mother to get work should she need to do so to be self-sufficient in raising her family. I just disagree with the inferences that this woman whom we don't even know is somehow lazy or crazy. I don't think this stance is fair.

Dove

[mrmarklin]

  Connie said:

What would you say to a single woman who claimed to have received revelation that she did not need to work and that the church should support her and any possible dependents?

She's getting revelation from the wrong source!

[Blackmarch]

  Connie said:

What would you say to a single woman who claimed to have received revelation that she did not need to work and that the church should support her and any possible dependents?

that she better work hard to have God give the same revelation to the bishop.

[rameumptom]

I would point her to the online Handbook 2 regarding welfare. I'd also get her a copy of some LDS welfare talks and pamphlets regarding self-sufficiency, etc. Then I'd ask her to review whether she has done the ground work to receive such a revelation that goes contrary the gospel teaching. Is she praying, reading scriptures, attending church, busy growing in the gospel? Or is she just picking at the edges of the gospel, and receiving "revelations" that she wants to receive.

[Martain]

After reading dove's response, I discussed this with my family.

They brought up some interesting points.

Let's say it was a single mother whose child was severely ill and needed full time attention, in this case I could indeed see the Lord giving guidance to a mother to stay home for a while to look after her child and to lean upon her Bishop for support from the Church.

I found myself agreeing with this scenario as definitely being a possible situation in which such advice could be given. Doesn't mean it was, but it doesn't mean it couldn't be.

That being said, if one exception to the general agreement can be found, who is to say that another might not be as well?

I agree with others though that in such situations the Bishop would receive such revelation as well.

Aren't you glad sometimes that you don't have the responsibilities that a Bishop has and that those calls are according to the Lord's will? Who here would want to serve in such a position without his aid? Who here could? Whew...

[jayanna]

I agree, I just cannot see how a bishop could do it all without switching yokes with the Lord.

In the case of the sister I taught she did not have any children at home so shrug, I stayed zipped anyway. It is not my stewardship to try to use authority to correct her, just give her what assistance I can and let those in authority handle it from there.

sustaining the bishop sometimes means keeping out of the way.

[Traveler]

  Connie said:

What would you say to a single woman who claimed to have received revelation that she did not need to work and that the church should support her and any possible dependents?

I would like to say I would be kind and make attempts to be understanding - but I would be curious in how a single sister is planning possible future dependents. Is she planning now to have children (dependents) some time in the future without a husband?

The other idea I would encourage better understanding would be self reliance - I think I would ask her if she believes in seeking to be self reliance. I would then suggest if she does not believe in self reliance that she consider a different religion that is more in line with the revelation she is receiving.

The Traveler

[rameumptom]

It isn't just the bishop making such welfare decisions anymore. They are to off-load a lot of those decisions to EQ/RS presidencies to make.

I am no doubt that if a woman decided to just make a lot of babies (as a single woman), and expect the church to finance her, she would be sadly mistaken. Our process is very different than that of the federal welfare program that does let some people get away with being brood mares. But the Church would work with such people to get them as self sustaining as possible. That we're talking about a single woman wanting a mess of children, that suggests engaging in immorality. The Church will not support such a lifestyle.

Now, this IS different than the new scenario given regarding a single mother with a severely dependent child. If that is the mother's full time job, then she's doing her part and deserves to be helped by the Church.

[Connie]

Oh my, you're right, "possible dependents" sounds pretty bad. I wasn't really thinking of it like that. Sorry, Traveler. I was going for vague.

I'd still like to go for vague, but i'll try to give a little more detail. I actually know 2 ladies who believe this. One is a single woman who has never been married. I don't know her very well, but she has always seemed a little unstable to me in a Mormon-religious-fanatic type of way. The other is a divorced woman with 2 small children. They are roommates, living in a small basement apartment where the kids have to sleep on the floor because they have no beds. The divorced lady actually has a master's degree in business administration and has turned down a few REALLY GOOD job offers over the years because of this "revelation."