Alcastar Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 My fiancé has a child from her previous marriage. we like to do things such as drinking alcoholic beverages, etc. however, she is in a custody battle currently and wants to join the Mormon church as this will paint her in a better light and maybe help her with her custody battle. what are all your opinions on this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Obviously she shouldn't join a church just to look better on paper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 If she's going to join any church, she should do so for the right reasons. As to the custody battle- she should focus on what is in the best interest of the child and strive for that result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 My fiancé has a child from her previous marriage. we like to do things such as drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.however, she is in a custody battle currently and wants to join the Mormon church as this will paint her in a better light and maybe help her with her custody battle.what are all your opinions on this? What do YOU think our opinion should be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Really, she should join every church to boost her reputation as someone of integrity to care for a child responsibly. And she should also be sure to take her child with her when she drinks alcohol so that she can have that quality time with him/her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 My fiancé has a child from her previous marriage. we like to do things such as drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.however, she is in a custody battle currently and wants to join the Mormon church as this will paint her in a better light and maybe help her with her custody battle.what are all your opinions on this?I think it's a marvelous idea! What could be better than lying to a judge and pretending to be something you manifestly are not in order to swing opinion in your direction?You and your fiancee have a bright future in politics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 she is in a custody battle currently and wants to join the Mormon church as this will paint her in a better light and maybe help her with her custody battle.what are all your opinions on this?Don't lie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) I think it's a marvelous idea! What could be better than lying to a judge and pretending to be something you manifestly are not in order to swing opinion in your direction?You and your fiancee have a bright future in politics.That's just the earthly side of things, the deception is double edged as it will require entering into the baptismal covenant under false pretenses (along with deception to the missionaries involved in teaching, and the individual who would conduct the baptismal interview at a minimum). Considering the amount of deception involved in the plan my opinion is, "Don't do it. Either side to that sword is reason enough to forbear." Edited October 31, 2012 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 I know I shouldn't be but I am a bit shocked that someone would even need ask if this is ok or not. Definitely NOT cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 She realizes she'll have to give up the alcoholic beverages to join, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SquidMom Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Unfortunatly, I think that, given the overall misunderstanding and negative opinion of the mormon church by many people, it could actually hurt her in front of a judge. (Unless you are in Utah, of course.) I don't agree with joining any religion under false pretenses.I don't know wht kind of mother your fiance is or any extenuating circumstances, but from what I've seen, the mother usually has an edge in a custody battle to begin with. Unless there is any physical, emotional, or substance abuse, her chances are probably pretty good if she is just honest and herself.If the child is older, sometimes the judge will speak with them privately, and take into consideration how they feel about it, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SquidMom Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 And she should also be sure to take her child with her when she drinks alcohol so that she can have that quality time with him/her.While certainly amusing, I think this is unfair. Indulging in alcohol every now and then does not automatically make you an unfit parent. Given that she is obviously not a member, therefore not benefitting of the holy spirit and the moral guidance and support of the church, it is particularly harsh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 While certainly amusing, I think this is unfair. Indulging in alcohol every now and then does not automatically make you an unfit parent. Given that she is obviously not a member, therefore not benefitting of the holy spirit and the moral guidance and support of the church, it is particularly harsh.Given that she is (supposedly) considering "joining" the LDS Church purely as a gambit to increase her standing in the eyes of a judge, I don't think it's a harsh judgment in the slightest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 I'm with SquidMom, I've become accustomed to being denounced upon people learning about my faith. I even had one guy ask me why I was a pagan instead of a Christian. This could lead to what constitutes lying, after all if she became baptized she would be technically a member. I think this is terrible more for the, how can I put this into words, "abuse" of the image of the church to get personal gain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) While certainly amusing, I think this is unfair. Indulging in alcohol every now and then does not automatically make you an unfit parent. Given that she is obviously not a member, therefore not benefitting of the holy spirit and the moral guidance and support of the church, it is particularly harsh.I'm wondering if a thought process akin to the below is at play: Drinking alcohol is mentioned in the OP. Joining the Church will improve the fitness of the mother in the eyes of the judge. 1 + 2 could suggest they need the boost to the perceived fitness coming from hiding her drinking (I don't drink anymore, I'm a Mormon, I've changed from my previous habits!). If the amount of drinking you are doing is jeopardizing you being seen as a fit mother you're either in front of a hard bitten teetotaling judge or you may have a drinking problem.Now I'm curious what the line of thought was. Oh well, I suppose I can ask her when she gets home. Edited October 31, 2012 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 My opinion? Poor kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarklin Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 My fiancé has a child from her previous marriage. we like to do things such as drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.however, she is in a custody battle currently and wants to join the Mormon church as this will paint her in a better light and maybe help her with her custody battle.what are all your opinions on this?Most people use alcoholic beverages, and I doubt any court would use this against your fiance unless she is an alcoholic.Mormons should be good parents, but not all are. I doubt that joining the Church would sway the court either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SquidMom Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 [QUOTE=Dravin;708999]I'm wondering if a thought process akin to the below is at play: Drinking alcohol is mentioned in the OP. Joining the Church will improve the fitness of the mother in the eyes of the judge. 1 + 2 could suggest they need the boost to the perceived fitness coming from hiding her drinking (I don't drink anymore, I'm a Mormon, I've changed from my previous habits!).I was merely stating that an occaisional drink does not, in and of itself, make you unfit. If the amount of drinking you are doing is jeopardizing you being seen as a fit mother you're either in front of a hard bitten teetotaling judge or you may have a drinking problem.Certainly, if alcoholism is at play it would look bad to anyone, not just a judge. Not saying that the jugde must 'hard bitten' or 'teetotaling' to look negatively on it. And I don't agree with joining a church for any other reason than that it is what you truly believe.Oh well, I suppose I can ask her when she gets home.Sorry. You lost me on this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 [I was merely stating that an occaisional drink does not, in and of itself, make you unfit. Certainly, if alcoholism is at play it would look bad to anyone, not just a judge. Not saying that the jugde must 'hard bitten' or 'teetotaling' to look negatively on it. And I don't agree with joining a church for any other reason than that it is what you truly believe.Sorry. You lost me on this one.Dravin was contemplating beefche's thought process behind her comment and said he would ask her when she got home because they're married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) My fiancé has a child from her previous marriage. we like to do things such as drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.however, she is in a custody battle currently and wants to join the Mormon church as this will paint her in a better light and maybe help her with her custody battle.what are all your opinions on this?If you want the court to think you arent drinking and partying, quit drinking and partying. No need to perpetuate a fraud on the court. In fact, if your lawyer is suggesting that you do this sham conversion, you should dump him and file a bar complaint postehaste. I've been doing family law long enough to make you two promises: that kind of nonsense will come out, and it will blow up in your face when it does.My experience is that Utah courts are actually OK with a parent using alcohol, so long as it is in moderation. Heck, I've even handled cases where the judge didn't bat an eye at porn use, so long as the parent isn't making the porn available to the kids. A parent's being LDS (or not) is a non-issue.And if you aren't in Utah, I can't fathom why you might think being a Mormon would help your case. Edited October 31, 2012 by Just_A_Guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted November 1, 2012 Report Share Posted November 1, 2012 (edited) [I was merely stating that an occaisional drink does not, in and of itself, make you unfit.While responding to your post I wasn't trying to refute it or otherwise disagree. I was musing on Beefche's thought processes.Sorry about the confusion.Sorry. You lost me on this one.Looks like Judo covered this one. Edited November 1, 2012 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted November 1, 2012 Report Share Posted November 1, 2012 While certainly amusing, I think this is unfair. Indulging in alcohol every now and then does not automatically make you an unfit parent. Given that she is obviously not a member, therefore not benefitting of the holy spirit and the moral guidance and support of the church, it is particularly harsh.I agree with you--drinking alcohol does not in and of itself make you an unfit parent. But, I wasn't responding to such a thing. I was responding to someone making the statement that his fiancee wants to lie in order to obtain a reputation of "goodness" to obtain custody of the children. And wants to know what a bunch of Mormons "thinks" of that. I am not taking the post as a serious post. Someone wants to know what a bunch of Mormons think about someone lying to become Mormon just to paint her in a better light for a custody battle? Oh, and by the way, we like to drink alcohol ("so there! you weird Mormons who are known to not drink alcohol!"). So, my reply was a sarcastic reminder that such an inquiry doesn't fool everyone on this site. Asking a group of Mormons what we think about lying to become Mormon doesn't lend credence to a sincere inquiry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackmarch Posted November 1, 2012 Report Share Posted November 1, 2012 (edited) My fiancé has a child from her previous marriage. we like to do things such as drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.however, she is in a custody battle currently and wants to join the Mormon church as this will paint her in a better light and maybe help her with her custody battle.what are all your opinions on this?Not knowing both sides of the story... Joining a church just to look good is going to come back to haunt her, and most likely not in a good way.If she's wanting to look better on paper why on earth with the mormons? In the general public's eyes we're more or less those weirdo polygamous brainwashed, racist, sexually repressed cult fanatics who passed proposition 8, and can't do anything fun like drink alcohol and party.Is it just to paint up non-alcoholic picture about her? Edited November 1, 2012 by Blackmarch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcastar Posted November 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2012 Hey people, This was a serious question. I did not come here to be admonished. I do think an alcohol free environment would be ideal, and I am looking in the best interest of the kid. it's gonna be a challenge to go buy mountain dew instead of alcohol but will do the best. But wouldn't the kid benefit more for a LDS upbringing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 2, 2012 Report Share Posted November 2, 2012 Is it for the benefit of the child, or your case? Because what you said before was she is in a custody battle currently and wants to join the Mormon church as this will paint her in a better light and maybe help her with her custody battle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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