Nursery release?

[Nothingspecial]

Can you ask for a release? I did and it's terrible. I feel like such a failure but I couldn't go back in there. I have been the nursery leader two and a half years and have LOVED it. Then I got a set of brothers where mom just had her third. They are all under 3 and the oldest has started acting up horribly. He's always been harder to handle but manageable. Since little bro has arrived I spend my Sundays being hit, kicked, choked, having my hair pulled out (and not by me!) and yelling at these two boys. I have to chase after them as they think escaping is the funniest thing ever. So I end up feeling like the devil having to be on them constantly or being abused by them. I have tried everything I can think of to get them happy. I've brought in special activities for them, made sure to praise EVERY little good thing they do, listened and talked to them, etc. this last Sunday was so bad that after he tackled me to the floor and kicked me for the umpteenth time I took him to mom and just went into the bathroom and cried before just leaving church early. I then asked for a release. I felt so horrible that I told them not to worry about reassigning me. I failed. I couldn't do what Heavenly Father asked of me. I quit my VT too. How could I ever teach or help someone when I can't even help a nursery aged child? Eight Sundays of just being beat up mentally and oft times physically as they act out.I had to take him out of the room twice for the safety of others. Was this supposed to be my test? Have I totally ruined everything?

[pam]

You are beating yourself up too much over this. All of us have a point where enough is enough. You shouldn't have to deal with that on a weekly basis.

So take a breath and enjoy your release from this calling.

[Nothingspecial]

Haven't been released yet. I only asked. The primary councilor over nursery thinks it won't be a problem to be released though.

[Quin]

Even one's OWN kids can drive one to handing go them off and sobbing in the bathroom.

And OPKs are about a zillion times harder.

Seriously. Actual number. Zillion.

You won't mesh with every kid ever born, nor every kid at every stage of development (the 3yo you're paying for patience form can be the 6yo you would take for the summer, the 9yo you won't even share air with, and the 13yo you'd adopt in a heartbeat).

Of course, the upside with OPKs... Is that you CAN ask for a release or transfer.

That's not a failure.

That is an honest appraisal of the situation, and looking out for the best interests of all involved.

Q

[notquiteperfect]

I've served in nursery a couple times and if it were me, I would not give up a calling I love, I would just take the kid to the parent immediately following any unruly behavior and not let them come back until they were ready to act appropriately. It's the parents problem to deal with, not yours!

[Guest]

I don't consider it a failure to ask for a release. Not every challenge is meant to be conquered. Sometimes it's just an obstacle. And it seems like this obstacle is succeeding in keeping you from the Spirit. So, asking for a release is a way to get around the obstacle to be closer to the Spirit again.

But, somebody needs to talk to the parents of these children. The next nursery teacher will have to deal with getting physically abused by a toddler... this is not okay.

[MarginOfError]

When giving service stops bringing you joy, it's time to reevaluate whether (and how long) you can serve in that capacity.

When giving service fills you with dread, it's time to change the capacity in which you are serving.

Don't feel guilty about asking for the release.

[mnn727]

Take the kid to the parent at the first sign of trouble - problem solved.

[Wingnut]

I can't believe you've been in for 2.5 years! I've never heard of such a thing for a Nursery calling. But if you liked it, then I guess that's okay for you -- most people don't.

I was called into Nursery at the beginning of last year. I wasn't excited or happy about it to begin with, but my ward is insane when it comes to the number of kids we have, and I knew it was "my turn" to serve in the Nursery. I made the most of it for as long as I could. By September, a lot of other things in my life were changing, and I was going through a period of pretty heavy depression. I had already been told by my bishopric counselor (who is also a friend) that a release was coming for me soon, before the end of the year, so I tried to just stick it out. By the middle of October, I hit a really low point, and I decided to ask to be released, because that was one area of my life that I could quickly and easily change.

I didn't feel one bit bad about it, because I knew it was what was best for me. Service is about sacrifice and about helping and blessing other people, but at what cost? The Savior gave all, but I don't honestly think that He expects us to literally give all. (That's personal opinion, and I know that there are some who might vehemently disagree with me.) I think MOE summed it up best in this thread:

When giving service stops bringing you joy, it's time to reevaluate whether (and how long) you can serve in that capacity.

When giving service fills you with dread, it's time to change the capacity in which you are serving.

In my case, I never found joy in my Nursery calling, which I fully acknowledge was largely due to my attitude. But I reached a point where I would rather never go back to church again than go back to Nursery. I was full of dread. So I changed the status quo.

[Just_A_Guy]

I would only add, get back on the horse as soon as possible--make sure you get SOME calling that will rebuild your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment.

[Backroads]

In every ward I've been, that sort of behavior in the nursery was not allowed and would have sent the offender to his/her parents.

But if there were no policy against dangerously bad behavior, then yes, I think you're just fine asking for a release.

[Guest]

I can't believe you've been in for 2.5 years! I've never heard of such a thing for a Nursery calling. But if you liked it, then I guess that's okay for you -- most people don't.

I was in nursery for 2 years and I loved it. I got released and not too long after I got Singing Time. So, I was back in nursery for 10 minutes every Sunday for Singing Time. It was arguably the best 10 minutes of my entire week. I was in that calling for 3 years!

But then, we've never had a kid who would punch, kick, pull hair... we had some escape artists and toy hogs but that was pretty easy to deal with.

[Finrock]

If it were me I would not ask to be released. I would talk with the parents and let them know that their child is not allowed to come to nursery or primary until they learn to behave in a non-abusive manner. I would also let the bishop know and explain to him that you are under no obligation to allow yourself to be hit and abused and that you will not allow the child to ruin the whole class.

But I would also always be ready to forgive and forget if or when the child decides to act better. I would not let this bother me on a personal level. I think God gives us callings and He also provides a way for us to accomplish it. Quiting the calling even if you aren't "happy" at the time in my view isn't the best option. Put your trust in the God and seek earnestly to find a solution through the Holy Ghost. You have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost which entitles you to receive guidance, comfort, and revelation from God.

-Finrock

[Nothingspecial]

Thank you all for your comments and help. I do feel better about having dealt so poorly with the situation and asking for a release. I know it sounds easy to just take him out and put him back with his parents but to me it feels too much like rejection and everyone should belong in church. Everyone should feel loved and cared for and I couldn't do that for him. Hopefully the next nursery leader can. There are people actually chomping at the bit here to be in nursery since I've been hogging the little ones to myself for so long. So it will be good for the kids. Thank you all so much! Your comments mean the world to me.

[mordorbund]

Rather than taking the kids out right away, you may consider having one or both of the parents assist for the next few months.

[zippy_do46]

Can you ask for a release? I did and it's terrible. I feel like such a failure but I couldn't go back in there. ...I failed. I couldn't do what Heavenly Father asked of me. I quit my VT too. How could I ever teach or help someone when I can't even help a nursery aged child? Eight Sundays of just being beat up mentally and oft times physically as they act out.I had to take him out of the room twice for the safety of others. Was this supposed to be my test? Have I totally ruined everything?

Nothingspecial, is there a hint in the name? I sense something more going on here. Sometimes there is more? I was just wondering. I love the Nursery. This calling has been my special blessing through the years. The last time I had this calling I had to ask to be realeased. At the time I had a very sick mother-n-law. I had to start rotating with my hubby so we could at least attend our meeting part time. Just like the PP you are giving certain blessings when you start teaching. If you felt the need to be released you should go to your PP and ask. Sounds to me like your spirit also took a beating. Reading what you tried to do for them sounds to me like you did all that you could do. No body should ever be abused in a calling. There is something wrong and the PP should have stepped in sooner. Try to take up the VT again. Sometimes when we are so down, helping others in another way helps us be stronger. It takes a special person to be a Nursery Leader. You did it for 2 1/2 years. In my books you are not Nothingspecial. You are Somethingspecial. The kids did enough beating on you... stop beating yourself up. Know your Heavenly Father loves you. He knows your heart. Sometimes we are not the answer for these "little ones" sometimes it takes another. Sometimes another hears and feels a need that we do not see. :) I just did a talk on "Gifts of the Spirit". I realize more then ever that sometimes we just don't listen sometimes when we are trying so hard. My prayers are with you.