I watched Batman vs. Superman on the flight home last night. Here is what I thought.

[Vort]

Hi, all. Just poking my head in to give you all the benefit of my profound insight. Feel free to laugh with me or at me, whichever better suits your fancy. My review of Batman vs. Superman, which I posted on a BYU sports site and thought I should post among my friends here, is as follows:

What a stupid, stupid, stupid movie. The stupidity of the stupidness of this stupid movie was just stupid. My IQ dropped 50 points watching it, which is probably why I kept watching until the end, waiting for something to occur that would show me that all the stupidity wasn't really stupid. Never happened. The longer it went, the stupider it got.

To be fair, the stupidity didn't really begin rearing its stupid head until over a third of the way into the movie. Until then, it looked like it was setting up to be a continuation of Man of Steel, which was not a stupid movie. (Just entirely too self-satisfied with its constant Christ figure posing, presented with all the clever subtlety of a Donald Trump campaign speech. But that is not the same thing as stupid.) But starting somewhere before the halfway point, the stupidity started encroaching. By the midpoint of the movie, The Stupid started taking over, and the longer the movie went, the more The Stupid snowballed. I had heard so many good things about the movie that I didn't want to stop watching it, thinking that surely it would quit being the awful piece of garbage that it was turning into. I almost quit watching it two or three times; in retrospect, I'm kind of glad I didn't, just because now I know that the movie really was as stupid as I thought it was, all the way to the bitter end. (Including the dirt on the coffin lid starting to float up a half-second before the end, which was about as subtle as the previous movie's Christ figure posing. But whatever. On the Stupidity Scale, that hardly even registers.)

Now, I know that some will say, "Look, Vort, people LOVED the movie. It made a gazillion dollars. Therefore, you are wrong." Okay, whatever. This is the same American public that chose Barack Obama as its commander in chief (twice), that put Donald Trump up as the Republican candidate for president, and that will shortly elect the vomitous Hillary Rodham Clinton to its highest office, making both of the previously mentioned men look almost rational by comparison. Those same people loved this movie, which in my mind pretty much confirms everything I have said about it.

tl;dr -- Do not waste your time and money on Batman vs. Superman. Instead, take the cash you would have spent in $1 bills, light them on fire, and roast marshmallows. You will have a much more profitable and enjoyable experience.

[Guest]

26 minutes ago, Vort said:

Hi, all. Just poking my head in to give you all the benefit of my profound insight. Feel free to laugh with me or at me, whichever better suits your fancy.

Actually, Vort, we missed you.  I hope you're back to stay -- at least for a while.

26 minutes ago, Vort said:

What a stupid, stupid, stupid movie. The stupidity of the stupidness of this stupid movie was just stupid. My IQ dropped 50 points watching it, which is probably why I kept watching until the end, waiting for something to occur that would show me that all the stupidity wasn't really stupid.

50 points?!  But you're just exaggerating now.  I thought maybe 20.  

Now, I know that some will say, "Look, Vort, people LOVED the movie. It made a gazillion dollars. Therefore, you are wrong." Okay, whatever. This is the same American public that chose Barack Obama as its commander in chief (twice), that put Donald Trump up as the Republican candidate for president, and that will shortly elect the vomitous Hillary Rodham Clinton to its highest office, making both of the previously mentioned men look almost rational by comparison. Those same people loved this movie, which in my mind pretty much confirms everything I have said about it.

tl;dr -- Do not waste your time and money on Batman vs. Superman. Instead, take the cash you would have spent in $1 bills, light them on fire, and roast marshmallows. You will have a much more profitable and enjoyable experience.

Apart from my one edit.  Yeah.  That's about right.

Edited August 22, 2016 by Guest

[Guest MormonGator]

4 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Actually, Vort, we missed you.  I hope you're back to stay -- at least for a while.

Amen.

[Just_A_Guy]

@Vort!  Good to hear from you!

I also saw that movie for the first time a couple weeks ago on an American Airlines flight (everything else on offer looked even dumber). 

Through the whole thing I just kept thinking, why don't they just TALK to each other?  But then, that's my typical response to pretty much 95% of the conflict points Hollywood dreams up. 

Apparently, people who relate to each other like normal, well-adjusted grown adults are not at all entertaining.

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said:

Apparently, people who relate to each other like normal, well-adjusted grown adults are not at all entertaining.

Of course not.  Then we'd be watching an afternoon special instead of an action movie where the main point of the movie is to pass as many images into your mind per second and blast out your eardrums.

[Guest Godless]

If it makes you feel any better, I've actually been hearing similar reviews from many people (I haven't seen it, nor do I intend to). Disappointingly, I'm also hearing a lot of negative feedback from Suicide Squad, which I also haven't seen, but was greatly looking forward to. 

[Guest MormonGator]

4 minutes ago, Godless said:

 Disappointingly, I'm also hearing a lot of negative feedback from Suicide Squad, which I also haven't seen, but was greatly looking forward to. 

Yup, same here. I thought the Jared Leto Joker had so, so much "potential" to be great. Granted, I haven't seen the movie yet myself so I don't know. 

[Guest Godless]

3 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Yup, same here. I thought the Jared Leto Joker had so, so much "potential" to be great. Granted, I haven't seen the movie yet myself so I don't know. 

The first trailer they released got me hooked on Leto, but apparently a lot of his scenes got cut and his overall screen time is relatively brief as a result, from what I've heard.

[Guest MormonGator]

3 minutes ago, Godless said:

The first trailer they released got me hooked on Leto, but apparently a lot of his scenes got cut and his overall screen time is relatively brief as a result, from what I've heard.

Absolutely.  I've heard the same. We both know "potential" is a very tough word. After all, if something doesn't fulfill it maybe it never had it in the first place. 

[Connie]

Well Vorty, you spend an awful lot of time saying how stupid it was and very little on why exactly you feel that way. :shrug: I didn't think it was any stupider than the last Captain America movie. In fact, i thought it was quite a bit less stupid. But that one was really stupid so that wasn't too hard.

[NeuroTypical]

Vort, it's good to see you.  That said, I'm afraid you are missing the deeper, more profound motivations and dilemmas for Batman.   See, his mom was named Martha too.  Therefore, fighting.

I'm shocked you missed such a pivotal element.  After all, our most important relationships are with our mothers. 

Or something.

 

[Guest]

I just wish you wouldn't mince words so.

[zil]

I have to say, @Vort, that was a really stupid review...

PS: Yes, as said, we missed you.

[unixknight]

I didn't think the movie was nearly so bad.

The biggest problem with Dawn of Justice is that it was trying to do way too much.  Rather than keep the story simple, it tried to simultaneously introduce several characters and separate story threads all at once and it became overly complex.  It felt like someone took a Batman movie script and a Superman movie script, shuffled the pages together, and shot the movie.  Oh right, and they added in the finale from an unwritten Wonder Woman movie at the end for the twist.

I liked Ben Affleck a LOT as Batman.  Best Batman I've ever seen in a live action movie, hands down.  Yes, that includes Christian Bale.  He was wasted in this film but thankfully we'll see him in more.  (Such as Suicide Squad, which my wife and I saw the other night.)  I also liked this Lex Luthor.  People complain a lot about how different he was from previous versions of Luthor but to me, that's a good thing.  How many different ways can you re-invent the same character without trying something truly different?

I think the themes they were trying to explore were good ones, and probably would have been successful in a less bloated movie.  The question of Superman's deification was well worth more exploration than it got.  The notion of Humanity looking to have a safeguard in the event that a character like Superman were to become less than ultra-honorable is an interesting one and also should have been explored more - but maybe in a separate film. 

So ultimately this movie is a vein of emeralds that you have to mine out for yourself, but it's there.  I'd say it's worth watching.

[Anddenex]

My review of Batman vs. Superman is summed up in one word, boring; however, I have never been a huge fan Batman vs. Superman conflict. All Superman would have to do is hit Batman like he hit Darkseid once and Batman is dead. All Batman needs to do is hold up his piece of kryptonite contained within his utility belt and then put the hurt on Superman (which any child could do that had the knowledge of how to use a knife and a green rock). 

Plus, Batmans nemesis is Joker. Superman's nemesis is Luthor. Why they went automatically toward Batman vs. Superman was poor. 

Edited August 23, 2016 by Anddenex

[Guest MormonGator]

5 minutes ago, Anddenex said:

My review of Batman vs. Superman is summed up in one word, boring; however, I have never been a huge fan Batman vs. Superman conflict. All Superman would have to do is hit Batman like he hit Darkseid once and Batman is dead. All Batman needs to do is hold up his piece of kryptonite contained within his utility belt and then put the hurt on Superman (which any child could do that had the knowledge of how to use a knife and a green rock). 

Plus, Batmans nemesis is Joker. Superman's nemesis is Luthor. Why they went automatically toward Batman vs. Superman was poor. 

Well said.  

[anatess2]

3 hours ago, Connie said:

Well Vorty, you spend an awful lot of time saying how stupid it was and very little on why exactly you feel that way. :shrug: I didn't think it was any stupider than the last Captain America movie. In fact, i thought it was quite a bit less stupid. But that one was really stupid so that wasn't too hard.

Phooey!

Batman vs Superman is STUPID.  No words can better explain than that.  And Captain America was way superb.

[Connie]

I expected as much from you, dear anatess. But Vort is usually much more thoughtful in his movie reviews. He likely doesn’t want to take the time and effort to more minutely go through a movie he so thoroughly detested, and that’s certainly understandable. But repetitively stating “it was stupid” doesn’t make for a helpful review, particularly for those who haven’t seen it yet. And I have enjoyed reading his reviews in the past because, even if I find myself disagreeing, I can at least say, “okay, I can see why a person could see it that way."

[anatess2]

4 hours ago, Godless said:

The first trailer they released got me hooked on Leto, but apparently a lot of his scenes got cut and his overall screen time is relatively brief as a result, from what I've heard.

Joker was simply there to set up the Harley Quinn character.  And this is the problem with DC - they gave zero care at all to the characters.  None.  Nada.  Batman vs. Superman is prime example... you got a Superman that is completely out of character, a Batman that also went completely out of character, and a Wonder Woman that was just there to be there.  Luthor Jr was a "who the heck is this guy?" mess and they flashed Justice League characters just to remind us that Justice League is coming.  It's like they are too focused on Justice League that they have zero patience on building the foundation.  Suicide Squad is the exact same.  Of course Joker is a minor character - how much more can he do with 10 supers already on the pitching plate?  Batman was just there to tie the thing to Dawn of Justice - his character did not move anything forward.  Flash was just there to remind us of Justice League again.  No character traits got moved forward.  And... here's another DC stupidity - they put such a big production with such seriousness and weight over some REALLY shallow plot points - Batman upset over Superman because he's destroying stuff and all of a sudden everything is right again because their mothers have the same name... The entire Suicide Squad unleashed so they can escort one government agent out of a building only to end up abandoning such agent in her escape route... and then they have nothing else to do so they sit around in the bar yapping... it is SOOOO STUPID.

But yeah, Suicide was better than Batman vs Superman only because it has ONE REDEEMING SCENE... You can cut out everything else and just leave the scene when Harley Quinm fell of the helo, landed on the top of the building, went on a roll, right onto a smooth transition to a run, all in her to-die-for adidas slugger high heels.  Saved the movie, that.  Yes, I'm completely ignoring that she fell backward off the helo and rolled forward on top of the building.  Yes.  Don't hate me.

 

[anatess2]

Oh wow, lookie here!  Found this snippet in youtube.  All you need to see in Suicide Squad.

 

[Maureen]

I can never remember which comic book characters are DC and which are Marvel, but one thing is for certain, they are comic book characters.

For me Superman has always been a super hero who would save people in terrifying situations. He usually wasn't the super hero causing those terrifying situations. One of the reasons why I didn't like Man of Steel was for this weird discrepancy with Superman - he was partly responsible for all those deaths.

I liked Batman vs Superman. I understood why people were suspicious of Superman, he was godlike, all powerful, he let people die to save Lois; could he be trusted? I liked the "Martha" connection between both super heroes. But one of the best things about the movie is we get to meet Wonder Woman and she's pretty great. If you didn't like Batman or Superman, you must have at least liked Wonder Woman.

I liked Suicide Squad. I knew nothing about any of the characters before seeing the movie, which probably helped me enjoy the movie. I had no expectations.

And without a doubt, I absolutely loved Deadpool.

For all of you who are basing your reason to NOT see these movies by what you are hearing, IMO, that's not a good reason. If you are interested in these characters, go see the movies, they may surprise you.

M. 

[anatess2]

10 minutes ago, Maureen said:

I can never remember which comic book characters are DC and which are Marvel, but one thing is for certain, they are comic book characters.

For me Superman has always been a super hero who would save people in terrifying situations. He usually wasn't the super hero causing those terrifying situations. One of the reasons why I didn't like Man of Steel was for this weird discrepancy with Superman - he was partly responsible for all those deaths.

I liked Batman vs Superman. I understood why people were suspicious of Superman, he was godlike, all powerful, he let people die to save Lois; could he be trusted? I liked the "Martha" connection between both super heroes. But one of the best things about the movie is we get to meet Wonder Woman and she's pretty great. If you didn't like Batman or Superman, you must have at least liked Wonder Woman.

I liked Suicide Squad. I knew nothing about any of the characters before seeing the movie, which probably helped me enjoy the movie. I had no expectations.

And without a doubt, I absolutely loved Deadpool.

For all of you who are basing your reason to NOT see these movies by what you are hearing, IMO, that's not a good reason. If you are interested in these characters, go see the movies, they may surprise you.

M. 

Deadpool is Marvel.  DC wails that he is stolen from DC's Deathstroke.  And yeah, Marvel unabashedly ripped Deathstroke off the DC pages to make Deadpool.  And just so there's no question, Marvel named Deadpool Wade Wilson.... guess what Deathstroke's name is... Slade Wilson.  Yep yep.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, anatess2 said:

Deadpool is Marvel.  DC wails that he is stolen from DC's Deathstroke.  And yeah, Marvel unabashedly ripped Deathstroke off the DC pages to make Deadpool.  And just so there's no question, Marvel named Deadpool Wade Wilson.... guess what Deathstroke's name is... Slade Wilson.  Yep yep.

I guess I'm more of a comic book geek than most on the board.  But many characters in DC/Marvel are ripoffs of each other.  Deadpool was one where the creators openly admitted that they got the idea from Deathstroke -- with some changes.  

Other ripoffs include:

• The Flash v Quicksilver;
• Green Arrow v Hawkeye;
• Darkseid v Apocalypse/Thanos;
• Batman v Black Panther;
• Aquaman v Namor;
• Black Canary v Blackbird/Mockingbird;
• Catwoman v Blackcat; 
• Dr. Strange v Dr. Fate;
• Wonder Woman v Sif

There are many more.

This happens because the creators, writers, and artists worked in the same city and would often go back and forth between the two companies (as well as many smaller companies).  There was undoubtedly going to be a lot of "reusing" of characters.

Edited August 23, 2016 by Guest

[NeuroTypical]

Just another plug for Vidangel.  I hook up my filters, and get to watch Deadpool and everything else, without the nekkedidity, naughty innuendo, and the language to which I am most adverse.

Looking forward to seeing Suicide Squad in those conditions.

[Vort]

6 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Just another plug for Vidangel.  I hook up my filters, and get to watch Deadpool and everything else, without the nekkedidity, naughty innuendo, and the language to which I am most adverse.

Looking forward to seeing Suicide Squad in those conditions.

A few days ago, during a family mission tour for my second son, our family watched the Vidangel version of The Martian. The movie was actually quite enjoyable when the nudity and foul language (all completely unnecessary and superfluous) were removed. Not as astounding a work of art as many would have us believe, but certainly entertaining.