Lame Jokes, the Sequel

[Guest]

7 hours ago, anatess2 said:

My son is 3 years old and I took him shopping.  When we got home, I found a chocolate bar in his pocket.  I did not pay for it and for sure he didn’t pay for it!  So I immediately marched him out the door straight back into the shopping center and went to the jewelers.

I had to look that one up.  Holy Hannah!  I had no idea that was a thing.  What passes for aesthetics these days!  Get off my lawn!

[Vort]

14 hours ago, anatess2 said:

My son is 3 years old and I took him shopping.  When we got home, I found a chocolate bar in his pocket.  I did not pay for it and for sure he didn’t pay for it!  So I immediately marched him out the door straight back into the shopping center and went to the jewelers.

[KScience]

What's brown and sticky?

 

 

 

 

A Stick

[Sunday21]

27 minutes ago, KScience said:

What's brown and sticky?

 

 

 

 

A Stick

[askandanswer]

21 hours ago, Vort said:

Aren't you meant to add some foolishness to this such as the type of ink and writing implement you used?

[Guest]

Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

A: You look for Fresh Prints.

[Guest]

Q: Why did the astronaut not come back to his family?

A: He needed his space.

[zil]

48 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

A: You look for Fresh Prints.

Grrroooooaaaannnn!

[Vort]

On 11/9/2018 at 9:16 PM, anatess2 said:

My son is 3 years old and I took him shopping.  When we got home, I found a chocolate bar in his pocket.  I did not pay for it and for sure he didn’t pay for it!  So I immediately marched him out the door straight back into the shopping center and went to the jewelers.

Okay, my wife explained it to me. Used small words. I guess that was pretty funny after all.

[KScience]

What kind of music is a balloon scared of?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pop music.

[Guest Scott]

I haven't visit song drops since the kids are older, but here's an old classic.  

 

 

[NeuroTypical]

Various church curricula advise us against having anything to do with the occult.  That said, I just couldn't resist:

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Various church curricula advise us against having anything to do with the occult.  That said, I just couldn't resist:

If my kids did that, it would work.

[zil]

What does a Greek kitten say?

 

 

 

μ

[Sunday21]

How to summon any male in the house, Turn on drill. 

[NeuroTypical]

New tool for for moderators:

[zil]

[zil]

[Guest Scott]

Two politicians, a republican and a democrat visit a bakery during a heated campaign. The republican sneaks 3 pastries into his pocket turns to the democrat and says, "the owner didn't see anything and I didn't have to lie, that is why I'm going to win this election. The democrat says, "that is so typical of you to lie and use deceit, now let me show you how to do it honestly". He turns to the bakery owner and says "give me 3 pastries and I'll show you a magic trick" The baker complies and gives him 3 pastries. The democrat eats them one after the other while the baker stares in disbelief. The democrat asks him "I bet you wonder what is the trick and where the pastries went" the baker answers "well yes". The democrat replies " look in my rivals pocket" 

[anatess2]

Wife comes home to see this note on the refrigerator:

Honey, a woman from the Gyna Colleges called and left a message that the Pabst beer was a concern.  I didn't even know you took up drinking.  Good thing you have concerned members at the college.  I love you and will always be here for you to support you in whatever way I can.  I have the schedule of the AA meetings in the area and I also went ahead and set up an appointment with the bishop for you.

[anatess2]

[anatess2]

[Guest]

38 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

[Guest]

[zil]

Not exactly a lame joke, but I didn't want to make a whole new thread for it (and did want to share it, cuz it's kinda funny):