Temple recommend

[Blossom76]

Hi guys, I'm strongly of the belief that I will be joining this church (I have to give my husband the 18 months study I promised him so he will support my conversion and baptism)

Of course I am hoping my husband joins with me, but in the case that he doesn't choose this faith I have a worry about my obtaining a recommend to go to the temple.

I don't work, I am a stay at home wife and mother.  I make no income whatsoever.  I'm worried this will stop me getting a temple recommend, I know one of the requirements of the church is tithing.  I can't tithe what I don't have, and I can't expect my husband to give 10% of his income to a church he is not a member of.

Has this every happened to anyone you know?

Any support is appreciated.

[zil]

If your increase is $0, the tithing on that is determined by multiplying 0 by .1.  0 * .1 = 0.  Therefore, you are a full tithe payer by paying $0.  I'm confident your bishop will understand.  You won't be the first person in this scenario - should it happen.

[zil]

I should add that I've also heard of people whose non-Member spouse agrees to a smaller percentage, and this too is accepted as a full tithe.  But in the end, your bishop determines this.  If / when it comes to it, discuss with your husband and then your bishop.  I'm pretty sure it'll all be OK.

[estradling75]

As @zil stated it should not be a problem.  Your situation is not unheard of so should not be a problem.

For the temple you should be able to go do baptisms right away.   The rest of the temple ordinances are available a year after baptism.  I say this because I do not know if you have been told this or not and I don't want you to have any unpleasant surprises as things draw closer

 

[Vort]

While I agree with all that has been written above, I would emphasize that this is the bishop's call. I have seen things work as @zil described, but each bishop listens to the Spirit and makes decisions based on Church policy and the dictates of the Spirit. So that's my only caveat.

[Blossom76]

Thank you all so much, I feel much better about it now, I was worried about being excluded from the temple

[askandanswer]

Just out of curiosity @Blossom76 how far are you from the brissie temple and have you been there yet? It's at kangaroo point overlooking the river. Non-members can roam the grounds and perhaps feel of the spirit of the temple and temple work. If you haven't been yet i encourage you to choose a wise and experienced temple recommend holding friend and take the time to just sit and think and pray and feel in the temple grounds for an hour or two. It can be a very peaceful and comforting experience 

[Bad Karma]

7 hours ago, askandanswer said:

Just out of curiosity @Blossom76 how far are you from the brissie temple and have you been there yet? It's at kangaroo point overlooking the river. Non-members can roam the grounds and perhaps feel of the spirit of the temple and temple work. If you haven't been yet i encourage you to choose a wise and experienced temple recommend holding friend and take the time to just sit and think and pray and feel in the temple grounds for an hour or two. It can be a very peaceful and comforting experience 

Great response, I must mirror that, non-members are most welcome to roam the temple grounds. Blossom76, you'll also find members who will stop by to walk the temple grounds when they are not doing a session. If I am near the temple and I do not have my temple clothing with me and not wearing a suit, I will stop anyway to walk the temple grounds, to reflect, pray, both really. It's always helpful to visit the temple in some manner. There are many places to go to feel the presence of the spirit, the temple IMHO is probably the very best place. I shan't spoil it for you, visit for yourself, in fact, the temple grounds might be a nice place to take a brown bagged lunch with you, the peace there is very remarkable.

Edited December 28, 2017 by Bad Karma
Pesky typos

[Blossom76]

10 hours ago, askandanswer said:

Just out of curiosity @Blossom76 how far are you from the brissie temple and have you been there yet? It's at kangaroo point overlooking the river. Non-members can roam the grounds and perhaps feel of the spirit of the temple and temple work. If you haven't been yet i encourage you to choose a wise and experienced temple recommend holding friend and take the time to just sit and think and pray and feel in the temple grounds for an hour or two. It can be a very peaceful and comforting experience 

About an hour's drive, great idea, I hadn't thought of that.  

[Anddenex]

On 12/26/2017 at 4:36 PM, Blossom76 said:

Hi guys, I'm strongly of the belief that I will be joining this church (I have to give my husband the 18 months study I promised him so he will support my conversion and baptism)

Of course I am hoping my husband joins with me, but in the case that he doesn't choose this faith I have a worry about my obtaining a recommend to go to the temple.

I don't work, I am a stay at home wife and mother.  I make no income whatsoever.  I'm worried this will stop me getting a temple recommend, I know one of the requirements of the church is tithing.  I can't tithe what I don't have, and I can't expect my husband to give 10% of his income to a church he is not a member of.

Has this every happened to anyone you know?

Any support is appreciated.

Yes, and I can tell you of three different scenarios; however, remember the best advice is to counsel with the bishop of your ward. This would be a great question to ask him, and if you are not sure you want to let him know, "I'm strongly of the belief that I will be joining this church," you don't have to tell him this. Just ask the question, "If I were to join the Church, what about tithing...."? He will give an honest answer to your situation.

The first is of your scenario. As others mentioned if you multiply 0 by .1% then you get 0. You owe nothing.

The second scenario is of a woman who was stay at home, but would make some of her own money from odds and end jobs. She and her husband agreed to her paying 10% of what she made, but not what he made, as he wasn't a member.

The third scenario is of a woman who made money through different opportunities as a stay at home mom. Her husband did not agree to pay money to a Church he did not attend nor believe in.

In all these scenarios the Spirit will prompt the bishop to know what is best, and the bishop may even counsel with the stake president to make sure things are in good standing. I can't say how your bishop and stake president would respond to scenario three as that is more unique then the first and second. The first and second are pretty cut and dry -- at least to me and from my experience with bishops and stake presidents.

I do hope also that your husband will read and ponder and come to join with you. Have you come across anything from Elder Bednar with his father who wasn't a member? These might provide some hope. Just remember that we never force someone or manipulate them into the gospel, and if I haven't said it yet, I will say it now: I applaud your husband that he loves you enough to respect your freedom of mind and heart. That is a show of character.

[Iggy]

I personally know two women married to non-members.

Sister #1. She works outside of the home, she pays 10% on her income. Always has since she started working in high school. Before she married, husband was aware of this, and agreed with her that she will continue, but NOT with his earnings. He also gave permission for her to receive her endowment. She is active, he only accompanies her at evening functions such as Halloween & Christmas Branch Parties. 

Sister #2. She married a non-member. Actually he *claims* to be an Atheist, but to date I have yet to hear or witness that. She only has SS  as income, and she paid tithing on the wages that funded the SS so she doesn't pay tithing on that. She had already received her endowment before her second marriage. Hubby #2 on the other hand believes in the gospel regarding tithing. Even though he says he doesn't believe in God, Jesus Christ. He does believe that Joseph Smith is/was a prophet of God. 

They pay 10% tithe, willingly. He attends church with her, he helps her to clean the church on her assigned week. He takes her to the Temple, and waits on the grounds if it is just for one session, or sight-sees/shops if she is going to be inside for four or more hours. She will text him when she is outside the doors that she is ready. He also helps her with her talks, and her RS lessons, goes over them, helps her to edit out the drifting away from topic parts.

The last I talked with him, he testified of the blessings that he believed came from their willingly tithing. Not just the financial, but mostly the spiritual. Though he didn't call it spiritual, she and I would and do call it that. In my heart I believe he is a true *Dry* Mormon.

Include your husband in how you feel. Invite him to join you when the Missionaries are there, to go with you on Sundays, and go to all the activities that your Ward & Stake have. Live the gospel, but don't push it down his throat. Be open & honest about your feelings, thoughts about the gospel, the LDS Church. Feed the Missionaries as often as you can afford to.

Council with your Bishop regarding your paying tithing AFTER you council with your husband. Since you have no income of your own, you MUST have permission from your husband to tithe from his income. You also MUST have permission from your husband to receive your endowment. THAT is why it is paramount to include him in everything church related. Include him, not shove it at him, or down his throat.

[Blossom76]

1 hour ago, Iggy said:

I personally know two women married to non-members.

Sister #1. She works outside of the home, she pays 10% on her income. Always has since she started working in high school. Before she married, husband was aware of this, and agreed with her that she will continue, but NOT with his earnings. He also gave permission for her to receive her endowment. She is active, he only accompanies her at evening functions such as Halloween & Christmas Branch Parties. 

Sister #2. She married a non-member. Actually he *claims* to be an Atheist, but to date I have yet to hear or witness that. She only has SS  as income, and she paid tithing on the wages that funded the SS so she doesn't pay tithing on that. She had already received her endowment before her second marriage. Hubby #2 on the other hand believes in the gospel regarding tithing. Even though he says he doesn't believe in God, Jesus Christ. He does believe that Joseph Smith is/was a prophet of God. 

They pay 10% tithe, willingly. He attends church with her, he helps her to clean the church on her assigned week. He takes her to the Temple, and waits on the grounds if it is just for one session, or sight-sees/shops if she is going to be inside for four or more hours. She will text him when she is outside the doors that she is ready. He also helps her with her talks, and her RS lessons, goes over them, helps her to edit out the drifting away from topic parts.

The last I talked with him, he testified of the blessings that he believed came from their willingly tithing. Not just the financial, but mostly the spiritual. Though he didn't call it spiritual, she and I would and do call it that. In my heart I believe he is a true *Dry* Mormon.

Include your husband in how you feel. Invite him to join you when the Missionaries are there, to go with you on Sundays, and go to all the activities that your Ward & Stake have. Live the gospel, but don't push it down his throat. Be open & honest about your feelings, thoughts about the gospel, the LDS Church. Feed the Missionaries as often as you can afford to.

Council with your Bishop regarding your paying tithing AFTER you council with your husband. Since you have no income of your own, you MUST have permission from your husband to tithe from his income. You also MUST have permission from your husband to receive your endowment. THAT is why it is paramount to include him in everything church related. Include him, not shove it at him, or down his throat.

Thanks for your response.  My husband has made an agreement with me that if I study the LDS faith for 18 months and still want to be baptised then he will support me in my decision, so I guess he would give his permission for my endowment as well based on that.  He has agreed to study with me for that 18 months, as long as I study our current faith with him for the same amount of time. (He's very active Catholic) He has no problem with me attending LDS church on Sundays AS LONG as I go to Mass with him first.  He doesn't want missionaries teaching him in our home which I can understand and respect his decision, so I do my learning at Church.  At the moment our LDS studies at home are from the 'Gospel Principles' book and reading the Book of Mormon.

It's a bit of a different situation than most investigators face, but its my situation and I am doing my best to embrace it and make the most of it.

[Jane_Doe]

2 minutes ago, Blossom76 said:

Thanks for your response.  My husband has made an agreement with me that if I study the LDS faith for 18 months and still want to be baptised then he will support me in my decision, so I guess he would give his permission for my endowment as well based on that.  He has agreed to study with me for that 18 months, as long as I study our current faith with him for the same amount of time. (He's very active Catholic) He has no problem with me attending LDS church on Sundays AS LONG as I go to Mass with him first.  He doesn't want missionaries teaching him in our home which I can understand and respect his decision, so I do my learning at Church.  At the moment our LDS studies at home are from the 'Gospel Principles' book and reading the Book of Mormon.

It's a bit of a different situation than most investigators face, but its my situation and I am doing my best to embrace it and make the most of it.

Yep, you got one awesome husband

[bytebear]

And know that even if your husband never embraces the restored gospel, the church's position is that family harmony is critical and every attempt to maintain that should be made, even if temporary sacrifices must be made (i.e. waiting 18 months, or paying what you agree upon in tithes).