mgridle Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 12 minutes ago, JayKi said: Don't say those things about my fiancee and me, we will have great marriage. You are clueless. Fascinating . . . you are so over-protective about your fiancee. You can say horrible things about your paramour's husband yet the minute someone says something about your marriage you are like an alpha wolf. You are a cad, I know your kind and if this woman "friend" of yours was my wife-buddy you'd be in for a lot of pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 3 minutes ago, mgridle said: You are a cad, I know your kind and if this woman "friend" of yours was my wife-buddy you'd be in for a lot of pain. You are calling me a computer aided design. Why? 3 minutes ago, mgridle said: Fascinating . . . you are so over-protective about your fiancee. You can say horrible things about your paramour's husband yet the minute someone says something about your marriage you are like an alpha wolf. No I am protective of all women friend and family. Do not refer to my friend as paramour it is disrespectful of our friendship and my friend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgridle Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 (edited) 30 minutes ago, JayKi said: I would of admit to him and apologise but now I don't care for his opinion. He could have been man about it and spoke to me but no he disrespect me by pretending to the Bishop I did something wrong, he has no spine. That's exactly right, b/c as much as you say this "friend" relationship is simply platonic, it's not. You don't respect this husband b/c he's not physically protecting what is his-his wife. You'll whisper in her ear, look he's no good for you mamita, look mamita he won't buy you a plane ticket, look mamita he English he no understand you, look mamita he not man enough to protect you. Your attitude is trash, I know your kind. You're attitude is that of a slithering snake. You are fighting over this woman, just like a wolf fights over his pack, except you don't have the smarts to realize you lost, and you are the beta wolf trying to invade the alpha wolfs territory and until the alpha wolf smacks you down to size and puts you in your place you will continue to try to rip apart what is his. You don't respect his marriage and you won't respect your own. Edited April 25, 2018 by mgridle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgridle Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 1 minute ago, JayKi said: You are calling me a computer aided design. Why? Google use it: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cad A rogue, or bounder. A cad is a man who is aware of the codes of conduct which seperate a gentleman from a ruffian, but finds himself unable to quite live up to them. Cads are quite capable of disguising themselves as good chaps for some time, only revealing their true nature in circumstances of particular stress or temptation. Others embrace their caddishness whole-heartedly and delight in behaving in a manner which is, to be quite frank, not cricket. They are certainly intelligent, educated, often cultured and frequently very witty, but, alas, are simply unreliable. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/cad an ill-bred man, especially one who behaves in a dishonorable or irresponsible way toward women. 3 minutes ago, JayKi said: No I am protective of all women friend and family. Do not refer to my friend as paramour it is disrespectful of our friendship and my friend Lol . . . right protector of ALL women, yeah right. That's what cad's say, they feel it is their right to go into another man's house and proclaim THEY are the protector not the husband. She is a paramour (or at least you'd like to imagine she was yours, regardless of reality)-you don't want people to call your "friendship" that, then you need to learn to change your behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 13 hours ago, JayKi said: Okay so I understand. You never hang out with a female friend? No. I never hang out with a female friend. When I married my wife, I basically ceased activity with female friends. When I was single, I traveled Europe with 14 women. I had three female friends and we went camping and on vacation and spent time together. All that ended when I got married - it wouldn't have been appropriate to continue such things. Maybe it's different in your culture. But I'm in the vast majority here. Also, a short while back, my wife expressed a little discomfort with how chummy I was apparently getting online. Now, nothing was happening, I wasn't doing anything wrong, there was no emotional attachment at all. But rather than argue the point, I just unfriended 40+ females. Including some on this board (sorry, Pam). My wife's comfort and the sanctity of our marriage is more important to me than some fun conversation with random women. Maybe if there's a takeaway for you here, it's that people like me exist, all over the place, in far greater numbers than you apparently ever thought. BeccaKirstyn, Grunt and Midwest LDS 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 3 minutes ago, mgridle said: They are certainly intelligent, educated, often cultured and frequently very witty, You are correct for first time this is me. 4 minutes ago, mgridle said: an ill-bred man, especially one who behaves in a dishonorable or irresponsible way toward women. 9 minutes ago, JayKi said: You are incorrect for 100th time. I am always respectful to women. I raised by women and have 4 sister I know how to treat women with respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 2 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said: No. I never hang out with a female friend. When I married my wife, I basically ceased activity with female friends. When I was single, I traveled Europe with 14 women. I had three female friends and we went camping and on vacation and spent time together. All that ended when I got married - it wouldn't have been appropriate to continue such things. Maybe it's different in your culture. But I'm in the vast majority here. Also, a short while back, my wife expressed a little discomfort with how chummy I was apparently getting online. Now, nothing was happening, I wasn't doing anything wrong, there was no emotional attachment at all. But rather than argue the point, I just unfriended 40+ females. Including some on this board (sorry, Pam). My wife's comfort and the sanctity of our marriage is more important to me than some fun conversation with random women. Maybe if there's a takeaway for you here, it's that people like me exist, all over the place, in far greater numbers than you apparently ever thought. If my fiancee had a problem I would tell her she either trust me or leave, with no trust there is nothing. I have many female friend so she will have to get used to it. She is not insecure so it will never happen. You are missing out on fun times with women, how do you go to the nail or tanning salon with male friends? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 4 minutes ago, JayKi said: You are incorrect for 100th time. I am always respectful to women. I raised by women and have 4 sister I know how to treat women with respect. Then why are you disrespecting this woman? She made her choice and you are doing everything in your power to take it away from her. That is not the action of someone that respects women. That is the action of someone that thinks they are incompetent children and need to be corrected "for their own good" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 5 minutes ago, JayKi said: how do you go to the nail or tanning salon with male friends? I guess things are different in Costa Rica, but dudes don't usually get their nails done where I'm from. I can't really speak for tanning salons, having no experience with them. Honestly, both of those things are sort of feminine activities where I'm from. Midwest LDS and person0 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
person0 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 6 minutes ago, JayKi said: how do you go to the nail or tanning salon with male friends? If it were a normal thing in my communities culture for a male to go to the nail and/or tanning salon, then it would be easy to go with male friends. Otherwise, why not just go with your own wife as a date? Then it would be both fun and special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 1 minute ago, NeuroTypical said: I guess things are different in Costa Rica, but dudes don't usually get their nails done where I'm from. I can't really speak for tanning salons, having no experience with them. Honestly, both of those things are sort of feminine activities where I'm from. No it is same in Costa Rica women do it, but I used to being in salon with my sisters getting nails done, chatting, reading magazine, Ice soda. It is best you should try so relaxing. 1 minute ago, person0 said: If it were a normal thing in my communities culture for a male to go to the nail and/or tanning salon, then it would be easy to go with male friends. Otherwise, why not just go with your own wife as a date? Then it would be both fun and special. Male friend don't want to go. I don't have a wife and my fiancee is in Costa Rica. Is not the same going alone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
person0 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 Just now, JayKi said: Male friend don't want to go. I don't have a wife and my fiancee is in Costa Rica. Is not the same going alone Just wait till you are married, and then go with your wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 Just now, person0 said: Just wait till you are married, and then go with your wife. Still need friends once married, can't just become introvert with my wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
person0 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 (edited) 5 minutes ago, JayKi said: Still need friends once married, can't just become introvert with my wife. Yes you can. You absolutely can. God created Eve so that Adam would not be alone. No friends, just Eve. When you have a wife, you don't need friends. Friends are good, but not a need. My wife is my best friend. Quote Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.(Genesis 2:24) Edited April 25, 2018 by person0 NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 1 minute ago, person0 said: Yes you can. You absolutely can. God created Eve so that Adam would not be alone. No friends, just Eve. When you have a wife, you don't need friends. Friends are good, but not a need. My wife is my best friend. That and the fact that you can have guy friends... and friends that you and your wife share in common, and you can have friends of the opposite sex assuming all spouses are cool with it. The only friend you can't have after marriage is one that your (or their) spouse is against person0 and Vort 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgridle Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 (edited) Well this has taken a turn for the interesting. Generally speaking when a man does things like go to the hair salon, getting nails done, etc. i.e. doing customarily womanly things that generally indicates the dude is not a straight shooter so to speak. I'd say on the bell curve of statistics sure there are some men who enjoy that stuff who are straight shooters, but there are probably statistically speaking a lot more men who are homosexual who enjoy that stuff then men are aren't who enjoy that stuff. You are getting married to a woman, so I assume you are simply are the small, small percentage of men who aren't homosexual who enjoy that stuff-fine dude whatever. Being that as it is, you need to recognize that most men do not associate that with normal behavior. It's okay to be weird as long as you understand the norms around you. Any man who is married who's wife goes with another man to the salon, to get her hair done, nails done etc. the married man is going to think one of two things, either a) this dude is trying to move in on my wife or b) this dude is homosexual. You don't have to like what the married man thinks, you don't even have to agree with what the married man thinks, but you do need to recognize what he will think. If you like to do that stuff, great fine, wait till your married and go with your wife. Part of being married is recognition that when you get married life changes and some behaviors that were perfectly acceptable prior to marriage are now no longer acceptable. Otherwise it's not a marriage-just two people living together. Edited April 25, 2018 by mgridle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 34 minutes ago, estradling75 said: Then why are you disrespecting this woman? She made her choice and you are doing everything in your power to take it away from her. That is not the action of someone that respects women. That is the action of someone that thinks they are incompetent children and need to be corrected "for their own good" What decision do you think I did not respect? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 13 minutes ago, mgridle said: It's okay to be weird as long as you understand the norms around you. Any man who is married who's wife goes with another man to the salon, to get her hair done, nails done etc. Is not weird I just have in touch with my feminine side. Never been macho don't see the appeal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgridle Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 8 minutes ago, estradling75 said: That and the fact that you can have guy friends... and friends that you and your wife share in common, and you can have friends of the opposite sex assuming all spouses are cool with it. The only friend you can't have after marriage is one that your (or their) spouse is against Agreed, however I can definitely sympathize if one is a non-homosexual effeminate male-it is going to be hard to find male friends who are not homosexual with whom to bond. It's entirely possible, but it is going to be challenging. Therefore you will go with what is comfortable, i.e. developing relationships with women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 Just now, JayKi said: What decision do you think I did not respect? She made a choice to get married. She made the choice to take a Husband and have his opinion and desires be important to her. All your attempts to undercut her husband, undercuts her choice to make him important. That is disrespect no matter how you try to twist things otherwise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 1 minute ago, mgridle said: Agreed, however I can definitely sympathize if one is a non-homosexual effeminate male-it is going to be hard to find male friends who are not homosexual with whom to bond. It's entirely possible, but it is going to be challenging. Therefore you will go with what is comfortable, i.e. developing relationships with women. Indeed it can make it harder... Being harder for him personally does not justify his threatening of a marriage. If he is more comfortable with ladies then he needs to focus on single ladies or ladies whose spouses are ok with such. It does not make it ok for him to attack someone else marriage just so he does not feel lonely going to the salon. mgridle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 8 minutes ago, estradling75 said: She made a choice to get married. She made the choice to take a Husband and have his opinion and desires be important to her. All your attempts to undercut her husband, undercuts her choice to make him important. That is disrespect no matter how you try to twist things otherwise I respect her choices, I went to her wedding. It is actually you who wants me to disrespect her choice to continue our friendship because her husband said so. So if anyone is acting like women are incompetent children: 48 minutes ago, estradling75 said: That is the action of someone that thinks they are incompetent children and need to be corrected "for their own good" it is you. I never did anything to undercut her husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgridle Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 (edited) 22 minutes ago, JayKi said: Is not weird I just have in touch with my feminine side. Never been macho don't see the appeal Weird is something that is abnormal, uncommon, or unusual. If you put up a poll on how many men would enjoy going shopping, going to the salon, being "in touch with their feminine side", the results would be vastly against you. I.e. by definition it is weird, I didn't say bad, I just said weird. That's fine you've never seen the appeal in being macho. However, for men who are macho your behavior is giving off very, very bad signals-especially when it comes to other men's wives. Again you don't have to like it, but you do need to recognize it. Edited April 25, 2018 by mgridle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegaseamaster75 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 1 hour ago, JayKi said: You are missing out on fun times with women, how do you go to the nail or tanning salon with male friends? Well I'm a guy so I don't do those things. (I want to be inclusive and I'm not saying that as a guy you can't do those things) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 (edited) 3 hours ago, JayKi said: I respect her choices, I went to her wedding. It is actually you who wants me to disrespect her choice to continue our friendship because her husband said so. So if anyone is acting like women are incompetent children: it is you. I never did anything to undercut her husband. This is a lie that you keep telling yourself... You have posted many times that he does not like your contact with his wife. Yet you continue to contact her... This is undercutting... proven by your own confessions. She choose to marry the man... Instead of respecting that major life choice to put him first you are tempting her to put herself and you first. Instead of having her take responsibility for her own choices. I am not even talking to her so I can not be treating her as a child.. If I were I would be treating her as an adult in telling her to 'own' her choices and accept the responsibility and consequences of what she has chosen. If she has issues with her husband then she needs to deal with them head on like an adult. Not sneak around the issues and hope not to get caught. And then scream about how unfair things are when you get caught. That is the action of children and that is they way you are both behaving. Edited April 25, 2018 by estradling75 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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