I keep running into the following conversation in church settings

[vitaminwater120]

Random church member: "Did you serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

Them: "Are you leaving soon to serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

Them: *proceeds to look at me as if I have two heads*

Any advice on how to deal with conversations like this? 

FYI, I converted to the church after the cut-off age for men to serve a mission so I have a legitimate reason for not serving.

[Guest MormonGator]

5 minutes ago, vitaminwater120 said:

Random church member: "Did you serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

Them: "Are you leaving soon to serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

Them: *proceeds to look at me as if I have two heads*

Any advice on how to deal with conversations like this? 

FYI, I converted to the church after the cut-off age for men to serve a mission so I have a legitimate reason for not serving.

I converted in my thirties. No one has ever asked me that question, but I did get the "Are you an Eagle Scout?" question. 

I usually make a joke about it. I'll say something like "No, I used to beat up Eagle Scouts though." That shuts people up. Have a sense of humor about the missionary question. Say something like "No, I was serving time in the Minnesota house of corrections." 
 

[zil]

Well, the easiest way is probably to change your first answer from "No" to "I didn't join the Church until after I was already too old to serve a mission."

Alternately: "I wanted to, but I guess they saw my second head as a problem.  I've since had it removed, but not in time to serve a mission."

[NeuroTypical]

16 minutes ago, vitaminwater120 said:

Random church member: "Did you serve a mission?"
Me: "No."
Them: "Are you leaving soon to serve a mission?"
Me: "No."
Them: *proceeds to look at me as if I have two heads*

Any advice on how to deal with conversations like this? 

Oh, that's easy:

 "They don't want transspecies dolpins serving on missions."
 "I'm in the witness relocation program, and can only show my face at church and the gas station once a month."
 "I did a mission with my last church, Our Lady of the Two Headed Snake Demon.  I swore never again."
 "Actually, I was parachuted into Afghanistan in the '90's with a backpack of Books of Mormon, but I can't talk about it."

You get the point.  Silly self-effacing light-heartedness is a perfectly fine response to people creating just a little awkwardness.  It changes the subject, gives everyone a laugh, and any easily offended or humorless folk stick out like a sore thumb, so you'll know who to avoid in the future.

Full disclosure: I went through my awkward no-mission early '20's by going inactive.  I don't recommend that.  Just do the light-hearted thing, and if they get rude, it's on them. 

[anatess2]

55 minutes ago, vitaminwater120 said:

Random church member: "Did you serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

Them: "Are you leaving soon to serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

Them: *proceeds to look at me as if I have two heads*

Any advice on how to deal with conversations like this? 

FYI, I converted to the church after the cut-off age for men to serve a mission so I have a legitimate reason for not serving.

The same way you answer, "Are you married?  Why not?" or "Do you have children?  Why not?" or "Why are you Mormon when the Catholic Church next door is 10x bigger?".. and even, "When is the baby due?" when you're not pregnant.

Smile.  Be kind.  Tell the truth.  Even if the truth is, "I'm not prepared to answer that question and I may never be."  It's a conversation.  It's hard to minister to people who we can't have a conversation with.  And a lot of people just don't know that they are being tactless.  Forgive them.

P.S.  Some lady asked me in the restroom of a posh restaurant, "When's the baby due?".  I wanted to tell the truth, "I'm not pregnant." but decided I wanted to spare her the embarrassment so I lied and said, "I wish it was tomorrow." and laughed with her about it.  Fun times.

Edited June 21, 2018 by anatess2

[zil]

15 hours ago, anatess2 said:

P.S.  Some lady asked me in the restroom of a posh restaurant, "When's the baby due?".

Hmm.  This is one of those times when being the sort of person who has a zillion useless facts memorized would be useful.  You could have said: "Well, 4.3 of them are due in the next second."  And then walked out before she had time to make sense of it.

Or you could just leave the stats implicit and say: "Which one?"

[Overwatch]

15 hours ago, anatess2 said:

P.S.  Some lady asked me in the restroom of a posh restaurant, "When's the baby due?".  I wanted to tell the truth, "I'm not pregnant." but decided I wanted to spare her the embarrassment so I lied and said, "I wish it was tomorrow." and laughed with her about it.  Fun times.

Should have just smiled and said excitedly " In a few months!  How about you? When is your bundle of joy due?" 

However, I think you made the best decision. Very graceful of you. 

[omegaseamaster75]

19 hours ago, vitaminwater120 said:

Random church member: "Did you serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

Them: "Are you leaving soon to serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

Them: *proceeds to look at me as if I have two heads*

Any advice on how to deal with conversations like this? 

FYI, I converted to the church after the cut-off age for men to serve a mission so I have a legitimate reason for not serving.

Yes the conversations should go like this:

Random church member: "Did you serve a mission?"

Me: "No, I am a convert and I joined after the cut-off age for men"

 

Your one word responses lead them to ask the next question to which you respond with one word again.  Then you have a problem with the questions? It is OK to string more than one or two words together when talking to someone.