Scottish Julie Posted March 24, 2019 Report Share Posted March 24, 2019 Hi peeps, I am new to this forum as you will probably be able to tell lol. Anyway, I have 3 children, twin girls aged 8 and a boy aged 6. One problem I have when getting them out of the door in the morning is that we have battles over whether they need their jacket zips done up. At the moment we have terrible weather here in Scotland so I have told them that I'm the mother and I say jackets have to be zipped before getting out of the door otherwise they get a loss of priveleges. So, can I ask the question,why do kids not like to zip their jackets up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 Not sure about Scotland, or kids 8 and younger. But here in the US, with teens and near-teens, it has to do with peer pressure. If your mommy zips up your jacket, you're still a baby. That sort of thing. Welcome to the forum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 I live in Canada. The weather in some of the cities that I have lived in can kill you. I have lived in cities in which the high for the day was -40 C. Still see kids walking around with unzipped coats. Pick your battles. pwrfrk and Jane_Doe 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish Julie Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 14 minutes ago, Sunday21 said: I live in Canada. The weather in some of the cities that I have lived in can kill you. I have lived in cities in which the high for the day was -40 C. Still see kids walking around with unzipped coats. Pick your battles. The thing is, I'm mom so they have to obey me and trust my judgement. So if that means zipped jackets then zipped jackets I expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manners Matter Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 Welcome! A couple thoughts - At those ages, they need to be able to make some decisions for themselves. Also, some people don't like to feel confined. They need a sense of lightness and/or freedom. You could also maybe offer choices (zips, buttons or pullover). They might have a preference so it wouldn't hurt to find out what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 By the way, my wife let our kids pick their zipper status from like age 6, as soon as they could understand the concept of hypothermia. Both have survived to their teen years. Sunday21 and unixknight 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 hour ago, Scottish Julie said: The thing is, I'm mom so they have to obey me and trust my judgement. So if that means zipped jackets then zipped jackets I expect. Pick your battles. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, Scottish Julie said: The thing is, I'm mom so they have to obey me and trust my judgement. So if that means zipped jackets then zipped jackets I expect. I agree with Sunday and Jane Doe, pick your battles. One of your jobs as a mother is to prepare your children for adulthood. Sometimes that means allowing them to make age appropriate mistakes. I'm a mom (my youngest is 13) and a college student. I'm a Senior in Marriage and Family. From my experience and education I can tell you that your approach, authoritarian is not the best parenting approach. At the least, this method of parenting is going to get you a lot of rebellion. Today it's costs, when they are teens . . . By far the best parenting style is authoritative (I know the names are similar and that's a bit confusing.) You can Google authoritative, or I can reccomend a book if you like. Finally consider what kind of parent, Heavenly Father is...does He force us to obey His commitments? No, force was Satan's plan. Of course, you have a responsibility to keep your children safe, but allowing them to choose and even make some mistakes is the way Heavenly Father has shown us. So pick your battles. Edited March 25, 2019 by LiterateParakeet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 2 hours ago, Scottish Julie said: The thing is, I'm mom so they have to obey me and trust my judgement. So if that means zipped jackets then zipped jackets I expect. I’m a mother of 2 kids, the oldest will turn 18 this year. I used to feel this way, then my son turned 4 years old... haha. But yea, seriously, jackets are very restrictive to movement. It’s anti-kid in that sense, especially boys, because boys want maximum range of movement. So, if you want to take 100% judgment for you and 0% judgment for your kids, then you have to be able to see the entire picture on your own - which is very difficult because of this thing called “perspective”. So, my advice is for you going forward is, 1.) be flexible enough to account for the kids’ perspectives - for example, instead of asking the internet why your kids won’t zip up, you should ask YOUR kids why they don’t zip up. Then weigh the perspectives before you bring the judgment hammer down., 2.) as what several people mentioned earlier... pick your battles. There are things - like zipped up jackets - that are not worth the battle. Kids will zip up when they get too cold. They will not zip up if you make zipping up a battle of wills - because, their immaturity is such that they’d rather die of cold rather than lose the zipper battle with their mothers. So, it was 30 degrees Fahrenheit in Ohio and my Floridian 6-year-old son decided he doesn’t want to wear a jacket. Instead of turning the jacket into a battle of wills, I told him he has 2 choices - wear the jacket or carry the jacket. He carried the jacket. By the time we got to the park, he was wearing the jacket. Zipped up. Easy peasy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnsonJones Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 (edited) Another item is that it takes time. Some children simply do not want to really take the time to zip up their coat and are in a rush. Zippers can be complicated to zip up when they are in a rush, at least for some children. A similar variation of this is when the child does not wear their heavy coat in cold weather and insists on wearing the light jacket. Sometimes it is because they lost their heavy jacket or do not know where it is. Sometimes it is because the light pullover is easier to grab and put on quickly than the heavier jacket, at least in their minds. This is just one of multiple reasons, but it is one where children that seem pretty reasonable at times can seem unreasonable. To them, many of their choices seem reasonable, even if they seem unreasonable to us. Edited March 25, 2019 by JohnsonJones Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mores Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 15 hours ago, Scottish Julie said: The thing is, I'm mom so they have to obey me and trust my judgement. So if that means zipped jackets then zipped jackets I expect. As long as you can enforce it and get them to obey without using "extreme measures", hats off to you. But the question you asked was "why do they do this?" They often don't see the need. I don't know the reality of the weather situation in Scotland. But if they really do need to, then you need to enforce it. But if they don't then there are disadvantages to zipping up. It decreases flexibility. Bending down to pick up a ball is impeded. It is warmer. And if you misguaged the temperature vs. need to zip up vs. the thermal properties of the jacket, then they can get very uncomfortable. Zipping up a poorly designed zipper may be a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish Julie Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 5 hours ago, Mores said: As long as you can enforce it and get them to obey without using "extreme measures", hats off to you. But the question you asked was "why do they do this?" They often don't see the need. I don't know the reality of the weather situation in Scotland. But if they really do need to, then you need to enforce it. But if they don't then there are disadvantages to zipping up. It decreases flexibility. Bending down to pick up a ball is impeded. It is warmer. And if you misguaged the temperature vs. need to zip up vs. the thermal properties of the jacket, then they can get very uncomfortable. Zipping up a poorly designed zipper may be a problem. I do manage to enforce it because, if they don't zip up then I do it myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 hour ago, Scottish Julie said: I do manage to enforce it because, if they don't zip up then I do it myself. But here's the problem... they can always unzip it when you're not looking. And... there will come a time when they will be too big for you to overpower them if they don't want the jacket zipped. So, what I'm trying to say is... there's a better way to teach kids to zip, if zipping is what you want to accomplish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 (edited) https://www.parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style.html @LiterateParakeet How interesting! Any other cool facts? How great that you are studying something so interesting! Edited March 26, 2019 by Sunday21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 4 hours ago, Scottish Julie said: I do manage to enforce it because, if they don't zip up then I do it myself. My parents refused to allow my older sister to wear jeans to school so she would change her clothes in the backyard in full view of 6 families of neighbors. None of the neighbors mentioned a thing. I guess they felt for my sister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 On 3/24/2019 at 4:55 PM, Scottish Julie said: So, can I ask the question,why do kids not like to zip their jackets up? I don't know why kids are like that, but at 55 I'm like that because if I try to zip it up it won't go all the way, and the reality that I've put on a few pounds will become painfully obvious. Sunday21 and unixknight 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franz123 Posted June 7, 2019 Report Share Posted June 7, 2019 (edited) I'm an IT that works in a company that offers dog gates which are the best solution when it comes to restricting access into a room. A dog gate is common for stairways, rooms, patios, and kitchens.Because they want to look cool I guess. Edited June 18, 2019 by Franz123 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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