Every ward has problems?

[Traveler]

Over 40 years ago I moved into what I would call a Mercedes and BMW neighborhood.  Through the years the wife and I have been in 5 wards and all the ward building in our stake.  Since we live in kind of a border place of our upscale Utah stake we have been part of the wealthiest and poorest wards (if you can classify our poorer wards as poor).  Our latest ward has been what I think is perhaps the hardest working and best in providing service.  It is perhaps the greatest ward I have ever been in.

But our ward has a serious problem and it is trending towards getting worse – much worse.  50% of our ward are retired empty nester families.  There are some exceptions of adult children living with elderly parents.  But the most serious problem is that each year on average our ward acquires 5 new widows that need help – help with their yards, homes, cars and sometimes even just getting to their doctors or shopping.  At the same time, we have on average 5 less brethren to assist.  In addition, every year the average age in the Elders quorum seems to be increasing.  It is not seldom that even some brethren that in the past have been stalwart contributors are themselves needing more and more assistance. 

The new families seem to be busy with small children.  And it seems that more and more of the healthy older families are being called on missions.  I was talking with my new bishop the other day.  I mentioned that I did not intend to discourage him but I think our ward has problems with no solution and it seems to be getting worse.  I think the problems are getting worse because they are starting to interfere with my skiing and cycling – and in some cases with my wife and I traveling (mostly to visit our children – which we try to do at least once a month for what we think are important family events).

 

The Traveler

[NeuroTypical]

The "newlywed and almost dead" demographic issue has been a thing for a long time.  The only solution is to have more active members in earlier stages of life.  In other words, missionary work.  (Or maybe re-drawing ward boundaries to include some apartment buildings.)

[LDSGator]

14 minutes ago, Traveler said:

our ward has problems with no solution and it seems to be getting worse. 

@Traveler this is a serious problem with religion in general. Speaking practically, not theologically. 
 

For years now we've been told that young people are leaving religion. The Southern Baptists down here foolishly held their ears, closed their eyes and said “What problem? La la la.” Now it’s too late for them and they realize the problem is decades old and they can’t fix it. Same the Catholics. The Episcopalian church has already given up and accepted that it’s terminal. 
 

I don’t have an answer for you. As demographics teach us people (even religious ones) are having fewer kids later on in life and can’t replenish the dying off of the boomers and older generations. That's not grim, it‘s how time works. 

[Grunt]

On 3/24/2023 at 1:17 PM, Traveler said:

Over 40 years ago I moved into what I would call a Mercedes and BMW neighborhood.  Through the years the wife and I have been in 5 wards and all the ward building in our stake.  Since we live in kind of a border place of our upscale Utah stake we have been part of the wealthiest and poorest wards (if you can classify our poorer wards as poor).  Our latest ward has been what I think is perhaps the hardest working and best in providing service.  It is perhaps the greatest ward I have ever been in.

But our ward has a serious problem and it is trending towards getting worse – much worse.  50% of our ward are retired empty nester families.  There are some exceptions of adult children living with elderly parents.  But the most serious problem is that each year on average our ward acquires 5 new widows that need help – help with their yards, homes, cars and sometimes even just getting to their doctors or shopping.  At the same time, we have on average 5 less brethren to assist.  In addition, every year the average age in the Elders quorum seems to be increasing.  It is not seldom that even some brethren that in the past have been stalwart contributors are themselves needing more and more assistance. 

The new families seem to be busy with small children.  And it seems that more and more of the healthy older families are being called on missions.  I was talking with my new bishop the other day.  I mentioned that I did not intend to discourage him but I think our ward has problems with no solution and it seems to be getting worse.  I think the problems are getting worse because they are starting to interfere with my skiing and cycling – and in some cases with my wife and I traveling (mostly to visit our children – which we try to do at least once a month for what we think are important family events).

 

The Traveler

We have a decent mix, mostly converts.   HOWEVER, I chuckled when I read "Mercedes and BMW".   We were just talking this month how you can always tell it's ward conference by the BMWs with out of state plates in the parking lot.

[Jamie123]

Don't get me started on people who drive BMWs.

Our parish is like that too somewhat though it's not as bad as some say. On Mothering Sunday one of our older parishioners said "Well no one here has a mother living!" Not true: my mother is still going strong, as are the mothers of several others I know. But I get the point. We used to have lots of young families, but as the kids reach a certain age they melt away. It is sad.

[askandanswer]

I went straight from reading this thread to my morning scripture reading, and commencing immediately after the last verse I finished yesterday, I read this verse. I guess Moroni faced the most extreme version of this problem.

3 And my father also was killed by them, and I even ^aremain ^balone to write the sad tale of the destruction of my people. But behold, they are gone, and I fulfil the commandment of my father. And whether they will slay me, I know not.

[Backroads]

It rather makes me feel grateful for my ward. It's an old neighborhood, but it's also, according to some random list, the cheapest rent in Utah and that matches the local housing market.

So while we have plenty of old-timers, there's enough younger families that stick around because they managed to buy a house.

[mikbone]

We have essentially doubled the size of the primary in every ward we have entered after leaving BYU.

[Traveler]

It is interesting to read all these posts in this thread.  When I finished college I took an opportunity near Washington DC – a military base in Maryland.  Our family was very young and the branch was very small – so small I referred to it as a twig.   It was not unusual for our family to be half of those in attendance.   We watched the branch grow to around 50 in regular attendance.  The little branch included all of St Mary’s county.  2/3 of the families were military.  The stake center was in DC.  This was perhaps the time of my wife and I’s greatest spiritual growth (but this is another story).

We moved from there to the Seattle area.  It took over a year to find a house there.  The ward was fantastic.  I attended the temple dedication in the Celestial room which was perhaps one of my greatest manifestations of the spirit. 

I moved form the Seattle area back to Utah where we have remained.  At the time the ward was in a new growth area with lots of new families.  There were close to two hundred children in the Primary and about the same number of active young men and young women.  All the wards in the stake (brand new – one year old when we moved in) had a similar graphic.   There was a period that we had close to 150 missionaries serving from our stake.  The stake is small in geographic area – we can walk around the entire stake in less than a half hour.  My best friend from Seattle (same ward) came down with us and we purchased homes closer here but were 3 stakes apart.

90% of the families were in the same demographic of their lives and the entire stake is close knit – lots of families were natural friends.  But the families have grown older.  We have a great group of traveling friends of about 15 couples from the ward that travel together (mostly cruses and road trips).  On cruses we have our own excursion with just our own group.  We have a empty nesters family home evening once a month – In the summer we can gather in back yards but in the winter we often have to meet at the church to accommodate everyone.  A problem is that seldom does anyone want to move away from friends.  Most of the new families moving in – purchase the home where the previous owners have died.  About half fix up the home and move on.  The other half stays but it is my sense that the dynamic of the ward families just is not what it once was.

The wife and I have a large home – much larger than our need or want.  But we have so many good neighbors we do not want to move.  Others feel the same.  I am the example of the biggest problems of the ward – old and unwilling to move but I believe I have at least 10 good years of service left – and then, sadly I and/or my wife will rely on the good graces of what is left of our ward.

 

The Traveler

[scottyg]

Our ward boundary changed about 3 years ago to include a large senior living community. Our primary went from 50-60 kids to about 20 kids now...if everyone comes. Both our YM and YW combined have 16 kids, 10 YM and 6 YW...and not all are active. When it comes to active Melchizedek priesthood holders that have a family and own their own home, I am one of two in his 30's, and there are only 5 in their 40's. There are 3 other young couples/singles with small kids, but they all live at home with their parents. Over 85% of our priesthood brethren are over the age of 50, and 2/3 are over age 60. Same goes for relief society, we have less than 10 sisters under age 50 in our ward. Within the next 10 years our ward boundaries will have to be changed as we will not have enough members physically able to serve in a ward. In 6 years we will only have 3 kids primary age. In 15 years 50% of our ward could be dead...and they will be replaced with more seniors.

[Traveler]

29 minutes ago, scottyg said:

Our ward boundary changed about 3 years ago to include a large senior living community. Our primary went from 50-60 kids to about 20 kids now...if everyone comes. Both our YM and YW combined have 16 kids, 10 YM and 6 YW...and not all are active. When it comes to active Melchizedek priesthood holders that have a family and own their own home, I am one of two in his 30's, and there are only 5 in their 40's. There are 3 other young couples/singles with small kids, but they all live at home with their parents. Over 85% of our priesthood brethren are over the age of 50, and 2/3 are over age 60. Same goes for relief society, we have less than 10 sisters under age 50 in our ward. Within the next 10 years our ward boundaries will have to be changed as we will not have enough members physically able to serve in a ward. In 6 years we will only have 3 kids primary age. In 15 years 50% of our ward could be dead...and they will be replaced with more seniors.

It would seem that each era has its challenges.  As a descendant of pioneers and the heritage of the restoration I have seen many changes in my lifetime.  I look forward to things yet to come but I must admit – I never thought I would see times we are currently experiencing.  When my father turned 60 there were many ski resorts that would allow him to come and ski for free.  Currently I am looking forward to turning 80 so I can ski Alta with a $50 season pass.  Hopefully it will still exist in 3 years.

 

The Traveler