Curses of minor inconvenience

[Vort]

May your belt loops get caught on every door handle.

[Vort]

May your pillow be warm on both sides.

(For more intensity) May your pillow be warm and soggy on both sides.

[Vort]

May your sock have a hole just large enough for your big toe to fit through.

[Vort]

On the topic of socks:

May your sock be slightly rotated.

May you step into a small puddle just after putting on fresh socks.

[Vort]

May your phone charging cord work only in certain positions.

[Vort]

May your chair produce a farting sound, but only once, so that you can't prove it was the chair.

[Vort]

May you forget to shake the ketchup and squirt ketchup water on your hamburger bun.

[zil2]

22 minutes ago, Vort said:

May you step into a small puddle of cat vomit just after putting on fresh socks.

There, worsened that for you.

[LDSGator]

1 hour ago, Vort said:

May your phone charging cord work only in certain positions.

Thanks pal, this always happens to me! 

[mikbone]

May you run out of hot water just as you step in the shower

 

 Curse you Vort!

[NeuroTypical]

2 hours ago, Vort said:

May your sock be slightly rotated.

Hey now, no need to escalate things that far.

For that offense:

May your car develop a squeak when it backs up.

May you dust your ceiling fans, only to discover one blade was missed, and now it wobbles, and you have misplaced your stepladder.

May you insert the USB cord the right way on the first try, and spend the rest of the day worrying how the universe will get revenge on you.

 

[Vort]

34 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

May you insert the USB cord the right way on the first try, and spend the rest of the day worrying how the universe will get revenge on you.

On our family call just now, my daughter came up with, "May your USB always be upside-down."

[Backroads]

May every jar lid be just slightly too tight.

[Traveler]

May you enter a room and forget what it was you came to the room to get.

May you repeat the above process several times in succession. 

 

The Traveler

[zil2]

8 hours ago, Traveler said:

May you enter a room and forget what it was you came to the room to get.

Part of some science-y show I watched explained that doorways trigger our brains to "leave the old behind" and "prepare for new" (to greatly simplify).  As we get older, it's harder to recall what we left behind - though going back into the previous room can help.  They explained that if one wants to retain something from one room to the next, one should simply repeat it to oneself as one passes through the doorway.  This seems to work for me.

[Jamie123]

May you hear an intermittent buzzing noise in your bedroom just when you want to go to bed, with no sign of an actual fly no matter how many hours' sleep you lose searching for it.

May said fly descend upon your face the moment you give up and put the light out.

May the Yorkie bar you bought for your mid-morning treat inexplicably taste of mint. (Not that there's anything wrong with mint chocolate, but when you buy a Yorkie bar you expect a Yorkie bar and not an After Eight.)

May your next door neighbour start tinkering with his car on Saturday Morning, just as you sit down to watch Little House on the Prairie.

Edited April 5, 2024 by Jamie123
I meant intermittent, not intermediate

[Vort]

3 hours ago, Jamie123 said:

May you hear an intermediate buzzing noise in your bedroom just when you want to go to bed, with no sign of an actual fly no matter how many hours' sleep you lose searching for it.

Gentamicin has seen to it that I hear continuous noise day and night. It's always with me, a kind of devoted but annoying friend that never, ever shuts up.

[Vort]

May your page load lag just enough that you end up accidentally clicking the ad link.

Edited April 4, 2024 by Vort

[NeuroTypical]

Related: May all your YouTube ads be unskippable.

[Jamie123]

May autocorrect always choose hilarious replacement words when you are trying to type a serious massage.

[NeuroTypical]