Vort Posted March 31 Report Share Posted March 31 May your belt loops get caught on every door handle. NeuroTypical and Jamie123 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 31 Author Report Share Posted March 31 May your pillow be warm on both sides. (For more intensity) May your pillow be warm and soggy on both sides. Traveler and ZealoulyStriving 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 31 Author Report Share Posted March 31 May your sock have a hole just large enough for your big toe to fit through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 31 Author Report Share Posted March 31 On the topic of socks: May your sock be slightly rotated. May you step into a small puddle just after putting on fresh socks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 31 Author Report Share Posted March 31 May your phone charging cord work only in certain positions. LDSGator 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 31 Author Report Share Posted March 31 May your chair produce a farting sound, but only once, so that you can't prove it was the chair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 31 Author Report Share Posted March 31 May you forget to shake the ketchup and squirt ketchup water on your hamburger bun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil2 Posted March 31 Report Share Posted March 31 22 minutes ago, Vort said: May you step into a small puddle of cat vomit just after putting on fresh socks. There, worsened that for you. Vort 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSGator Posted March 31 Report Share Posted March 31 1 hour ago, Vort said: May your phone charging cord work only in certain positions. Thanks pal, this always happens to me! Vort 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikbone Posted March 31 Report Share Posted March 31 May you run out of hot water just as you step in the shower   Curse you Vort! Vort 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted March 31 Report Share Posted March 31 2 hours ago, Vort said: May your sock be slightly rotated. Hey now, no need to escalate things that far. For that offense: May your car develop a squeak when it backs up. May you dust your ceiling fans, only to discover one blade was missed, and now it wobbles, and you have misplaced your stepladder. May you insert the USB cord the right way on the first try, and spend the rest of the day worrying how the universe will get revenge on you. Â Vort 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 31 Author Report Share Posted March 31 34 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said: May you insert the USB cord the right way on the first try, and spend the rest of the day worrying how the universe will get revenge on you. On our family call just now, my daughter came up with, "May your USB always be upside-down." NeuroTypical 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted April 1 Report Share Posted April 1 May every jar lid be just slightly too tight. NeuroTypical, Vort and askandanswer 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted April 2 Report Share Posted April 2 May you enter a room and forget what it was you came to the room to get. May you repeat the above process several times in succession.  The Traveler Vort 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil2 Posted April 2 Report Share Posted April 2 8 hours ago, Traveler said: May you enter a room and forget what it was you came to the room to get. Part of some science-y show I watched explained that doorways trigger our brains to "leave the old behind" and "prepare for new" (to greatly simplify). As we get older, it's harder to recall what we left behind - though going back into the previous room can help. They explained that if one wants to retain something from one room to the next, one should simply repeat it to oneself as one passes through the doorway. This seems to work for me. Traveler, Backroads, Vort and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted April 3 Report Share Posted April 3 (edited) May you hear an intermittent buzzing noise in your bedroom just when you want to go to bed, with no sign of an actual fly no matter how many hours' sleep you lose searching for it. May said fly descend upon your face the moment you give up and put the light out. May the Yorkie bar you bought for your mid-morning treat inexplicably taste of mint. (Not that there's anything wrong with mint chocolate, but when you buy a Yorkie bar you expect a Yorkie bar and not an After Eight.) May your next door neighbour start tinkering with his car on Saturday Morning, just as you sit down to watch Little House on the Prairie. Edited April 5 by Jamie123 I meant intermittent, not intermediate zil2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted April 4 Author Report Share Posted April 4 3 hours ago, Jamie123 said: May you hear an intermediate buzzing noise in your bedroom just when you want to go to bed, with no sign of an actual fly no matter how many hours' sleep you lose searching for it. Gentamicin has seen to it that I hear continuous noise day and night. It's always with me, a kind of devoted but annoying friend that never, ever shuts up. Jamie123 and NeuroTypical 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted April 4 Author Report Share Posted April 4 (edited) May your page load lag just enough that you end up accidentally clicking the ad link. Edited April 4 by Vort Traveler, NeuroTypical and Backroads 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted April 4 Report Share Posted April 4 Related: May all your YouTube ads be unskippable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted April 5 Report Share Posted April 5 May autocorrect always choose hilarious replacement words when you are trying to type a serious massage. askandanswer and NeuroTypical 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted April 5 Report Share Posted April 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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