Maureen

Maybe you should have a discussion with your fiancee about her Church's beliefs, so that you understand where the posters commenting on this thread are coming from.
M.

I think you are right to want to get this resolved before marriage. Just based on what you’ve written here, I think the bigger issue (over finding a church you are both comfortable with) is that you are so committed to this and she, seemingly, is not. You need to sit down together and really communicate about this issue. Find out why she doesn’t seem to think this is important to figure out before marriage.

I mostly agree with this.  And the kids' family chose not to sue.  But, if we are to be a nation of laws, legal mistakes need legal consequences.  Ignorance of the law is not a valid excuse to get out of legal consequences.  Therefore, to show adherence to justice and not just mercy, the school issued the Administrative Leave which is an appropriate response in a case where the issue is settled out of court without lawyers or mediators.  If the school didn't do this, then we are left to wonder if the school did not believe that they have a responsibility to the Constitution or they don't believe that this kid's religious practice is Constitutionally protected.  This way, it is very clear that the school understands the limits of the school's rules in relation to their students' rights and the students are assured that they can trust the school.

In my humble opinion...this string could continue to go around in circles, but the matter is largely resolved.
1. The teacher made a mistake. It was something. However, she, the principal, and the district made it right. KUDOS!
2.  The teacher's mistake seems to be reasonable judgment to some here, and to others a very poor one. Some focus on the recent reaction to blackface. Others of us are much more concerned with respect for religious practice in a government institution. IMHO, the latter is the 'big picture' issue. I don't suspect that too many African-Americans would confuse an ashen cross on the forehead with blackface. Still...I get the sensitivity.
3. The child forgave the teacher. Come on...grandma will. After all, the school had a deacon re-administer the cross. Just give her some space.
CONCLUSION: I'm actually ecstatic that the system humbly admitted fault, and went out of its way, on all levels, to respect and accommodate the child's religious practice and sensitivities.

Yes, the teacher told her student to clean his face, but he allegedly tried to explain to her what the ash cross meant and she either ignored what he was saying and/or didn't care what it meant to him. If the student didn't explain the ash cross, the teacher could have said as much and it's doubtful this story would have gotten this much attention. Either way, where there's a lack of communication between a teacher and student; I would say since the teacher is in charge, it doesn't make the teacher look good.
M.

The thing is - you stated that the grandmother is an uber Catholic trying to get oppression points - something we don't see any support for - then you claimed the teacher's career is in jeopardy - something we don't see any support for.  An administrative leave doesn't end teachers careers.  The way I see it, it seems like both are exaggerations stemming from your own bias.  Wanna know how tempest starts in teapots?  Exactly this.

I feel like I'm straining at gnats on this. However, I read the whole article through, and still do not see that the boy says he did not try to explain what the smudge was. Also, the teacher never seems to say that he did or didn't do so. One account had the student going to the principal in tears. The grandmother says the boy tried to tell the teacher twice, and again, I do not read of her denying this. That the school, the district, and the teacher all apologized, I am left wondering if the teacher was just set on helping the child get the dirt off him, and was not catching that the boy was upset or trying to explain what the marking was. And so, I agree that the teacher did not intend disrespect. Further, she and the school system handled the aftermath quite well. Perhaps we can all celebrate the happy ending. We all know of stories where the system circles the wagons, and both sides go into war footing. This is better . . . much.

Now you can tell your friends that they are not actually removing Christ out of Christmas when using Xmas. 😊
M.

Yes, the teacher told her student to clean his face, but he allegedly tried to explain to her what the ash cross meant and she either ignored what he was saying and/or didn't care what it meant to him. If the student didn't explain the ash cross, the teacher could have said as much and it's doubtful this story would have gotten this much attention. Either way, where there's a lack of communication between a teacher and student; I would say since the teacher is in charge, it doesn't make the teacher look good.
M.

You'ld have very soggy pancakes.
M.

I've been reading a book titled Untangled. (Damour, https://www.amazon.com/Untangled-Guiding-Teenage-Transitions-Adulthood/dp/0553393073). It is a self-help book of sorts for parents of teenage girls.  Dr. Damour talks about how the adolescent mind goes through a massive restructuring between the ages of about 12-16 (give or take a couple years). There is some evidence that habits and patterns established during this restructuring become ingrained in the personality, and can be extremely difficult to counteract.
Exposure to drugs and alcohol during that time can result in life-long dependency issues, because the teenage brain more-or-less "decides" that the external chemical is a normal part of its function. One time may not be enough to create that addiction for many, but there's no way to know if any one person is prone to go from one time to dependency. This is a place to trust the stuffy-old-boring-adults.  One time isn't worth the risk.

You'ld have very soggy pancakes.
M.

You'ld have very soggy pancakes.
M.

Given the amount of criticism the teacher received, I would find it odd if she now claimed the student never explained the meaning of it, and she only got blamed after the incident happened. If I was that teacher, I would have had my NEA rep with me, in front of news cameras, within minutes of the critical news reports--insisting on my innocence, in that the child did not explain what it was.
Indeed, a 5-day old ABC news story indicates the teacher apologized, saying it was a misunderstanding--that she thought it was dirt. The grandmother indicates her grandson tried to explain what it was twice, and the teacher was not listening. So... I suspect she made an assumption, and really did not pick up on how upset her student was.
As others have said, this story ends okay. The teacher will not face permanent discipline, and the child was allowed to have the cross re-applied. There's no need to be get stuck in this narrative--but neither does the teacher need defending. She made a foolish rush to judgment, and it bit her pretty hard.

I beg to differ. If it is true that the child tried to explain what the ash cross, and the teacher made him wipe it off anyway, that is pretty disrespectful to Catholicism. The fact that the Catholic church is facing a separate, very difficult scandal, does not excuse the alleged action of the teacher. Also, the notion that the child/parent or church institutional is playing the victim to deflect attention form the child molestation issue is a stretch, imho.

This is part of an ongoing series on Healing From Infidelity. You can read the first article in this series here. Can your husband or wife’s infidelity lead to post-traumatic stress disorder? For some, the question seems overly-the-top. “Surely it’s heartbreaking,” they say, “but PTSD is for police, attack victims, firefighters, and military veterans.” However, as Dr. Shirley Glass explains in her seminal book Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity, victims of affairs often meet criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder. After all, their sense of security, stability, and safety was shaken. Their view of the world they live in and their relationships were upended. They no longer feel safe. If your spouse had an affair, while you may or may not fully meet the criteria for PTSD, there is a component of trauma (often called betrayal trauma) which no doubt affects your emotional health and your relationships every single day. If you cheated, understanding trauma and its effects will go a long way towards helping you...
View the full article

Move to Australia  Escape the cold and the snow and re-learn what the Sun looks like. And where the church is truer than it is in Ontario. 

Women cannot be sealed to more than one husband while alive but proxy sealings can be done for deceased women and all husbands they were married to.
https://www.lds.org/manual/members-guide-to-temple-and-family-history-work/chapter-7-providing-temple-ordinances?lang=eng
M.

Catholics, Anglicans, Methodists and Lutherans, at least.  It's not exactly uncommon, though as mentioned, most faiths do it at late afternoon or evening meetings.  Methodists around here use it as an excuse for a pancake supper, usually, so it's rarely seen outside the church unless (as usual) a bunch of them hit the cafe to finish filling up after the pancakes run out.  Judging from the sign at the Lutheran church, (and a few people I didn't recognize at Taco Bell later with ashes on their foreheads) it appears they do pretty much the same.
Depending on his specific faith's beliefs, (and that may come down to a particular congregation, at least among Methodists and Lutherans) it may very much be equivalent.  Some remove it at will, holding the act of receiving it to be the operative ritual of penance, others leave it for the duration of a group service or personal prayer, while others hold that the wearing of the ashes for the remainder of the day is necessary to fulfill a requirement of public penance.  (A benefit of doing it in the evening, since you don't have to refrain from washing your face all day.  In a hot climate, that can be uncomfortable, even this early in the year.)  Either way, it is viewed as something requested or commanded by God or by those ordained to authority by Him, so absolutely on par with the wearing of garments for LDS, the Orthodox Jew's kippah, or any of the Sikh's constant symbols.  One might say even more so since it's something to be maintained only for part of one day a year, rather than a daily imposition for the rest of one's life.  
I doubt it.  One is more likely to be unaware of the existence of religion in general than the fact that there have been numerous lawsuits won against schools resulting from teachers overstepping their bounds regarding religious observances, Scripture reading or voluntary group prayer during free time, etc. and yet they keep happening because teachers refuse to learn from them.  I really can't imagine that any teacher certification classes and/or new hire orientation in the last couple of decades haven't included some strongly worded reminders to tread very lightly where religion is involved, and yet they keep stepping right into the middle of messes like these.
At the very least, this teacher should have contacted the office to clarify the rule as soon as the student voiced a religious objection.

I volunteer as tribute!

It dawns on me that one of my more treasured memories, is something that just plain couldn't happen anywhere but Utah.
My mom used to play underground bingo in Salt Lake in the '70's.  Every Tuesday night.  One of her great regrets was she was sick one week, and the place got raided by the cops that night.  We all thought it a tragedy that she wasn't there to swing her cane around and give some poor @mirkwood a hard time about harassing the old and infirm.

" The bolded above puts the responsibility of #1 - recognizing depression, #2 - seeking the help of a professional - on everybody who don't suffer from depression.  Every single one of my posts above addresses the error of this thinking. "
No, you are misinterpreting my post. I didn't say anything about the GA having the responsibility  (emphasis on responsibility) to seek the help of a professional neither I expect him to recognize depression. That's absurd.
What I am saying is: If you do not know how to address someone who is depressed, it is advisable to seek the help of a professional so they can properly guide you. This is not about responsibility, this is about learning the necessary tools that could help you communicate better with someone who has a mental illness, it doesn't matter who you are. I believe all Church leaders should receive some sort of training with regards to this.

I just read the article, and I think the author's motives are pure. It really doesn't matter if we think the GC's advice was helpful or not. The fact of the matter is, she didn't and it upset her. But rather than dwell on it, leave her mission early, and ask to be removed from the records of the church as some do, she learned to not only forgive the GC and let it go, but a valuable lesson about staying true to our faith no matter who offends us. She came out of the experience strengthed, and I think the article does a good job of saying, sometimes you are going to be upset by what a church leader tells you. So what? Your relationship with Christ is more important, and you should be loving of and forgiving towards our leaders, who are trying to do the same. Seems like a valuable lesson to me .

Anatess, I mentioned the obvious. The GA didn't seem to know how to handle someone with a mental illness hence his reply. Whether it is her or his responsibility doesn't change the fact that he clearly didn't know how to address someone with depression. Are you bothered at the fact that I said he didn't know?  Let me say it again then: He DID NOT KNOW.  Now "get over it'. 😛
 

Among the general population, I could get behind this.  But, lay ministry aside, I'm going to expect more of people who are charged with providing spiritual care for others.