sister_in_faith

I agree with Anne (when do I not? )... I remember I went thru a time where I thought that maybe I should start wearing a headcovering because of 1 Corinthians 11: "5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is aeven all one as if she were shaven. 6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a ashame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered." It was explained to me that this is not to be taken literally. However Heavenly Father uses scriptures to 'speak' to us. I know that Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." was given to me at a time where I really needed it. So yes, HF uses the scriptures to speak to us, but there are things that are not to be taken literally in there also.

After reading some more, and thinking about this I'm starting to think this diagnosis fits my mom too. She also has some OCD issues. These are the insights I was hoping to gain from joining lds.net... together we can support and encourage each other, and make this life/trial just a little more bareable. Thank you!

RM I'll send ya some! Right now it's on sale at albertsons for $2.50 a bottle. When I find a sale for $2.00 a bottle I'm gonna buy a couple of cases for the holidays (no kidding, I love the stuff).

I love Martinelli's. It's the best... They have new flavors now too, pomegranite (sp?), peach, wildberry and some others... Yum, yum, yum! Of course the originial is still the best!

The BBC production of Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle = flippin awesome.

Great Expectations = least favorite book ever. In honors english one year we read this book, over and over, and over and over, and over and over and over and over again. Then we read it again. I seriously don't know how many times we read it, that that is all we did all year. Made me hate this book with a passion. Ugh. I've read 17 on the list.

Start getting together a good "team" to combat this illness. You need a good psychiatrist, and a therapist, for you, for him, and for couples therapy (can be the same person). You need to make sure that you are able to go to his appointments with him, so you know what is going on. You need to make sure that he is taking his meds as prescribed, and be aware of any side effects he is experiencing. If side effects are an issue, make sure to tell his doc right away. You want to get together a relapse plan so that it is very clear to everyone how that eventuality will be handled (this includes what will happen if he chooses to stop taking meds). The above advice is only if you choose to stay with him. I have to say something about the physical violence. To me it is an ABSOLUTE DEAL BREAKER. It means that he could do something like that again. My actual advice to you is to leave. You do not deserve to be hit and hurt. Period. Yes, he is doing better on meds, but the likelyhood that he will actually stay on his meds is very small. I think you should cut your losses and leave now. You deserve better.

I think saying, "I'm very traditional when it comes to dating, and I wait until marriage." works... If they don't catch the hint there, then maybe you should move on.... :) Good luck! I hope you find THE ONE!

Yeah, okay, that is a little creepy... and scary... but I don't know that I expected any differently. Just hoped I guess... What was that thing about the fying pan and the fire?

They are awesome!

I'm sorry, what was the question again?

I admire you mothers out there, no matter how old you are! You go girls!

Do most male boxers wear sports bras? Wouldn't that be an easy way to tell them apart?

Sophie is dressing up as an angel... We have the cutest outfit for her made out of white satin with feather and felt wings... it is so cute. she hates it, but tolerates it because I love it so much.

When I drank the fruit juice, it was my fault that I didn't check the label to MAKE SURE that it didn't have tea. I really didn't ever suspect that they would put tea in fruit juice, but that was me being nieve. I double checked the menu after they brought the ice cream to make sure that it said nothing about coffee topping. I actually think whoever made the ice cream make a mistake, because the toppings were very carefully listed. I never specifically ask wait staff at restaurants if they contain any ingredients that are forbidden by the WOW unless I suspect that there could be. Do you guys ask everytime, just in case? Maybe I should be? Hummmm I think that it makes a big deal out of something that is kind of private, what do you guys think?

Tortuga rum cake is VERY good. I went on a caribbean cruise (before I became LDS) and brougt back a bunch of little Tortuga rum cakes with me. Oh my goodness they were so good I ended up only giving a couple of them away, and eating the rest. Their website claims that there is 0.05% alcohol content in them, but I still probably wouldn't eat them anymore. Actually, if someone were to put one in front of me, I would probably txt my bishop and ask his permission. They are that dang good.

Music, I hate to say this, but it sounds like you may just have to suck it up. But if leaving her is not an option and she will not change, the only thing you can change is YOU. You may have to just work on not letting it bother you. I think it sux, but I can't see any other option. I won't harp on THIS subject any more, but maybe she has some other kind of mental illness, not depression? I don't know. I have a quirk where for a long time I couldn't do any kind of house work IN FRONT of anyone. This stemmed from childhood issues. Maybe there is just something in her psychy that makes it difficult for her. Have you tried to figure out WHY she doesn't want to do housework? Is it just that she doesn't like it, or is there something you can work with her on? If you REALLY can't work with her on this, you are going to just have to deal with it on your own. At this point her behavior is effecting her children too, so you will have to try and figure out how to minimize her impact on them. I wonder if you started to invite other women over to the house to do things like teach your daughter how to sew if it would kick start her mothering feelings? Or that could just start a fight. Hummmm

Anne, it is a process. And I'm still in the middle of it, so I don't even have magical words to make it all okay. I am still in the process of coming to terms with everything my mom did. The major thing right now is realizing that she literally isolated and brainwashed me to be her perfect little robot. She made me think that EVERYTHING was my fault. EVERYTHING. So when I realized at a young age that I was the sole cause of her pain, suffering, and lack of success, I remember going to my room and crying because I couldn't figure out how to stop being such a bad girl. I wanted SO MUCH for her to be happy, but for some reason *I* couldn't stop hurting her. I remember being a little girl and going into my room with a piece of broken glass. I thought if I could punish myself enough I would be a better person and my mom would be happy. I would cut my arm until I bled, over and over again, trying to make myself a good person. When that didn't work, I started to try to figure out how to kill myself. I thought that the only way my mom would be happy was if I wasn't around to cause her pain. This has followed me to my adult life. I still think that I am the cause of everything bad. I want so much to be a *good* person, but I am so afraid that I "hurt everyone I love". It has taken years of therapy and a very persistent honey to even get to the point where I can confront that wrong thinking. The really sad thing about it is that I AM a very good person. I am very kind and loving. I am always trying to make someone else's day better. I am very honest, and I strive very hard to keep my covenants. I guess you guys can see by some of my posts (like the ones about feeling bad about making 'mistakes') that when it comes to looking at my own actions, I have a really hard time seeing them realistically. I just go so over board thinking I am this horrible person who doesn't deserve anything good. In my last temple recommend interview the bishop asked me if I thought I should get a recommend (I forget the exact language of the question), and I started sobbing and told him "no". I told him I don't deserve anything good. He told me that was too bad, but the spirit told him I did deserve one, and signed it while I was crying and trying to explain to him why I didn't deserve it. Ended up doing the same thing to the SP, and he said the same thing. Dang spirit always butting in. Just kidding... :) Sorry, I went off on a rant, but getting it out there makes me feel better. What I was going to illustrate was how I am still in the middle of trying to get a grip on my abuse. I feel myself getting to the 'anger' stage now that I'm starting to realize how deep the brainwashing goes. It's hard to talk to my mom every day and act like everything is okay. I just want to scream at her. She is too unstable for me to do that tho. Ugh. Anne, I am so sorry about what happened with your husband. Please give him a big hug for me. I'm praying for him. My therapist does something called 'brain spotting' with me and it really helps. It helps me work thru little parts of things at a time, but for some reason it really helps my brain process and let go of things. Helps a lot with PTSD. Truly, you may want to look into it.

I wondered the same thing Eowyn... I WANT to be a good house-girlfriend, especially because I stay at home while my honey works. I want to do things, like clean the house and make dinner, but I literally CAN'T. The house is an absolute shambles, and I am very ashamed of it. If my honey started giving me a hard time about it, it would crush me, because I WANT to do it, and make him happy. Right now my goal is to get a Christmas tree up this year, and at least clean up the living room, and maybe the kitchen for the holidays. I'm not making much progress. My depression makes me so tired it takes me all week to recouperate (sp?) from going to a full 3 hour block of church on Sunday. Symptoms of depression in women include: -persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood -loss of interest or pleasure in activities, including sex -restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying -feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism -sleeping too much or too little, early-morning awakening -appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain -decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down" -thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts -difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions -persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain Any of that sound familiar?

I wanna go see puss in boots.

I don't think that was a question? I think that was a statement. Yeah, okay, this IS getting a little wierd now.

If anyone is mad at me thinking I was joking, I was actually serious... I couldn't think of any other way to get an answer to the question, is the spirit present when someone is having marital relations... Granted, looking back on it, it is a funny suggestion, but I was totally serious hoping someone would give us a concrete answer! When I first joined the church I remember having a discussion similar to this during a class. We were told (this was in the young single adult ward) that you shouldn't do anything with your husband or wife that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing with Jesus standing in the room watching you. I remember thinking that I would NEVER even take my clothes off for the rest of my life! I think that advice was a little bizare, and TOO over the top. But that was what they actually told us, and they said it with straight faces!

Actually, I think that our society has made sex out to be this dirty shameful thing. If we could see it the way Heavenly Father sees it, I don't think we would have a knee jerk reaction that it is something to hide or be embarassed about. just a thought.

Okay, okay... you guys win! How about this, WHEN my honey gets his act together and we are finally able to do it, I'LL do the experiement... hows that? I'm honestly curious now!

I'm hoping EVERYONE who is happily married that reads this will do this experiment! hee hee hee! The spirit is gonna be like, what the heck?!?