mrmarklin

IMHO you don't know either of these girls well enough yet to do anything other than meet FTF and evaluate them. You have not met the families or interacted in any sort of real life situation. And their visits to you are not a real life situation either. Maybe when you are able to return the visits you can begin to get a grip on reality. Choosing a life companion takes a lot of time, and one cannot let one's emotions get in the way by being overly physical with either of these girls. Even something a simple as a kiss can give rise to expectations and emotions that at this time are very premature.

That's not a reason. Sinners are the ones who should be going.

Yes religion is a big deal. Why don't you ask her to take the discussions before you commit to marraige? Her commitment to the faith (or lack thereof) will probably be self evident over the year or so repentance period you are going through.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by any of this. Sounds like psychobabble to me..................... Bottom line is that marraige is a tough thing. In my courtship there were red flags that I didn't even recognize due to my youth and lack of experience. Luckily we have stayed married because we have both been able to change somewhat. YMMV.

You probably need to leave the marraige, taking your children with you. He has shown no sign of repentance or desire to change. You and your children deserve better. BTW what were you thinking getting pregnant under these circumstances??????????

The safe "place" is the House of the Lord and your righteous home. I doubt you'll be doing much traveling. The "gatherings" mentioned in the scriptures, are in general, the gatherings of the righteous in the Stakes of Zion. Of course there are certain historical gatherings as well such as in Jerusalem (already happening) and the New Jerusalem (already happened and continuing). For most of us, unless you receive some kind of missionary calling you are already "gathered". Remember the prophecy in Daniel: The Church will fill the whole world. Temples are being built everywhere.

The familiar convention used in the KJV (thee, thou and the conjugations) is used in other language translations as well. This has fallen so out of favor that many Protestant religions have dropped it altogether. Mormons are still taught to pray this way. I think JS in his translations etc sought to use the conventions he knew. The language of the bible was pretty basic in rural US during his times.

The Church has a network to help you and has used a 12 step program for addictions. BTW, don't self diagnose. You may not be addicted. Leave that up to the professionals. I'm personally not a big believer in personal behavior addiction myself. But there certainly can be physical and psychological problems.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I live in a very rural area, and there are fibre optic cables all over the place installed during the TeleCom boom. Even on dirt roads. I don't think it's indicative of anything other than over exuberance of the old (now broke) telecom companies.

The Holy places spoken about are, in order: 1 The Temple 2 Your home 3 The Stakes of Zion, Be Temple worthy, have a safe and righteous home, and stay close to the Church, and attend regularly. Maybe some of us will be called to go somewhere else other than where we are now, but I believe that this will come as a Church calling, not as any dramatic mass exodus to Adam-Ondi-Ahman or anything like that. I think all that sort of thing (going to Missouri) is a "Church Myth". There's nothing at all scriptural about it.

Reminds me of J Golden Kimball who famously said: "They want me to quit swearing, but I repent too d#*n fast!"

I find it ironic that piercings are allowed for women's earrings after all the railing against anything else by President Hinckley. I guess even the prophets are not immune from long established tradition.:-) Edit: This custom is so strong among certain cultures that my Granddaughter had her ears pierced at one year. My daughter had hers pierced at around two years old.

Couldn't disagree more MoE. When a person is 18 he's an adult. And should begin to be self supporting. OP does not owe him anything, and in fact would be doing a disservice to him by giving him anything. I realize we're an "entitlement" society, and that this person's "friends" can get what they want, but it doesn't make it right. The person in question has not yet received a testimony, and is probably onbly going through the motions of activity to keep peace in the family.

Distance and time will make both of you see clearly in the future. She wants to write and be friends and that is something. But when you go on your mission your priorities should change, at least for two years. Be friendly. That's a lot.

In the General Handbook of Instructions, young women are counselled that if presented the alternative between a mission and a marraige, they should choose the marraige. This of course assumes that the marraige offer is a desireable one. Policy, not doctrine.

Some guys don't like writing. It really is a skill, and obviously your friend has never been taught it. Or it could be that he does not want to start a "relationship" while on his mission. Although I don't see how a courtesy letter would do this. Don't take it personally, but be aware that the guy probably has a distant personality. I wouldn't waste any more time on speculation.

I'm not a marraige counselor or anything of the sort, but I've seen a lot of divorce from my side of the desk. Usually, when all the facts are found out, it's a 50/50 deal in "fault" with neither side willing to give in at all.

Tarnished you make some good points. I married as a college student. I had my last semester's tuition in the bank, and my wife was on a full ride scholarship. That sounds good, and we knew each other over a year, BUT the environment in 20/20 hidsight was totally artificial. Neither of us had any significant responsibilities such as having to go to work, and we lived away from our families so never really got to know that aspect of each other's lives. It never occured to me how bad my wife was with money, because she never needed any going to school. Everything was taken care of. And a lot of other things as well................Frankly as I look back I'm surprised we survived!!!!

The guy was a jerk before you married him, but of course it's easy to overlook the signs.

I continue to be married because I'm stubborn enough to see the downside of divorce. My wife and I have a workable relationship that also includes love. But we've had some serious problems over the years (almost 40). The giddy feelings of infatuation are soon over in any marraige, and one must then focus on the fact that hopefully the person you picked is fundamentally good, and trying to do the right things. We focus on that, and a lot of the petty annoyances get put aside. If I had to do it over again, I would not have married my wife because of certain problems that she had in her past. She's on page 168 of one of Dr Laura's books. The red flags were there, but I was simply too young, and hadn't the knowledge to see them. Knowing what I know now, I'm not sure I could take the plunge again!!!!!

Divorce can be a positive in lives, if a bad situation is avoided. I have a very good friend now on his 3rd marraige. After his 2d divorce, he was perceptive enough to realize that maybe some of his problems in relationships were his. He sought counselling, and reformed certain aspects of his life that were not right. His third marraige will be his last, it's 25+ years, and running strong. He has an excellent wife and a very loving relationship with her.

I don't know whether he was wrong or not, but I agree with this post. He judged on the basis of facts and perceptions he had at the time. FWIW I'm agnostic as to evolution, tending towards not believing in it. Although not being a religion, can one believe or not in it?? Call it a working hypothesis.

The chart is nice but only reflects US AVERAGES. Real Estate is very area specific. That chart does not apply at all in the SF Bay Area of California where I live. Due to a variety of factors, property here has appreciated way beyond any inflation, and for most of us has been a good long term investment. I'd challenge anyone to buy a house in any sort of non slum here for $175K. Also, one must never forget the tax benefits of home ownership here in the US. From that point of view, it almost never makes any sort of sense to rent. So you need to understand the area you live in. I'd recommend you get in touch with a good Realtor.

Double negatives are common in Spanish and are good grammar.:)

I've seen it spelled both ways. Not sure if it's a real word, but it certainly describes a lot of persons on a lot of fora.