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  1. Like
    mrmarklin got a reaction from NeedleinA in Anybody married to a foreign guy? Asian, Latino, etc?   
    I'm married to a Guatemalan. I'm white. 
    One of my sons married a Mexican. 
    My daughter married a Vietnamese. 
    I was in the ice cream parlor with my daughter, her husband and my Asian looking granddaughter.  I was treating them to ice creams.  While paying, the girl behind the counter asked "Do you know those people?".  True story  
    Were mongrels.
  2. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Sunday21 in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    Due to demographics even in lucky Utah were there are 3 young women to 2 young men, 1/3 of young woman will not marry or will marry out of the church. More women join our church and more men leave. Up here in the great white north, we have about 13 young women to 3 young men. It's like musical chairs. We need to educate our young women to work because there are not enough men to marry.
  3. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Sunday21 in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    I couldn't agree with you more. In my location we are raising our young woman as if we did not believe in an education for woman. Even when they do go to university or college they take noncareer oriented subjects eg forensics - big unemployment associated with that one, childhood education, fine arts. Fine arts has the distinction of being the one major that has a negative effect on income. You will actually make less money after taking a degree in fine arts than if you had no degree at all! Please fewer dance lessons for little Susie. Hire a math tutor instead!
  4. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to omegaseamaster75 in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    Yet as men we judge our mate by appearance, height, weight, hygene, etc , etc.  If a woman's desire is to be a SAHM what does she have to go on?
    I agree, but are you magnifying you priesthood and your role as a father by living in poverty? how many more people can you bless if you are more affluent? How much easier will life be for your children if you are able to provide them with things that you never got or experiences that you never had? Are the days past when fathers wanted their kids to do better than they did? Is the new standard mediocrity? Or does God want us to magnify our talents?
    Terrible analogy, may as well send your wife to prison. you get 3 hots and a cot there. Heck you even get cable tv, some gym time and medical care. Do you hate women? or just the women who want basic standards of living?
    Yes and husband are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Not exclusively, nor solely, and directly right? Give me a break. A stay at home mom is a full time job 24/7. When a mother is in the work force someone else if fulfilling her role in nurturing her children for at least part of the day. Don't get me wrong circumstances sometime to a mother having to work, and that's fine.
    I disagree, if possible it is better for a mother to stay at home and raise her kids.  How can she fulfill her responsibility if she is abdicating it to a stranger for 8+ hours a day? 
    Your right about this, not entitlements outlined in the proclamation. No one should feel entitled but don't you want to be the best provider you can be?
  5. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to NightSG in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    More to the point, your - and your spouse's - income is only even marginally relevant for at most 80-90 years.  What percentage of eternity is that?  Is it really worth the potential issues for your eternal soul to focus so heavily on your comfort in those few years?  Shouldn't you be far more focused on how your spouse treats you in ways that will last forever than something they won't need to worry about for the remainder of that?  I sure wouldn't mind having a sugar mama who's bringing in seven figures and won't let me do anything but work out and party, but if she's not kind, caring and faithful, I'd rather spend the rest of this life scratching out a living with a good woman who has the financial sense of a drunken sailor.
    Right; case in point, my previous HT companion is making decent-but-not-huge money, but because he and his wife both drive ancient-but-well-maintained beaters, among other "slumming" (in the eyes of his inlaws) things, they're saving up for a very early retirement, while still being able to enjoy some less expensive but more meaningful luxuries.
    Another case in point; my grandparents.  Grandma just wasn't happy without a 1.5+ acre "garden" that was more of its own small farm and a 12x16' room full of home-canned veggies, because that's how they made sure the family stayed fed for the first several years of their marriage.  She sewed a lot of their clothes, and even when I was growing up she was the go-to for the extended family as clothing was getting passed around because she could alter nearly anything to deal with the tall, wiry cousins on one branch, the ones that look like a whole family of linebackers on another, etc.  Though granddad was fairly successful, she insisted on being a work-at-home-mom for most of the time she was raising kids, and going back to work full time as soon as their kids were out of the house so that she could contribute to their retirement.  Unfortunately, since she passed away very unexpectedly at 66, and granddad was mostly paralyzed 4 years later (and died two years after that) from a car wreck, they didn't get to do a lot of the things they'd planned for retirement.  One thing I do remember him commenting on after her death that he wished they'd set their financial goals a bit lower, so they could have retired a couple years sooner and had more time to just sit around the house growing old together.
    Overall, though, I've never heard a child or spouse at a funeral say they wish the deceased had spent more time at work instead of home with them.  Never heard anyone faced with their own death wishing they's spent more time at the office, either.
  6. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Just_A_Guy in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    I wasn't at your wedding ceremony; but speaking for myself--the ceremony expressly stated that my union with Just_A_Girl was conditional on our faithfulness.
    A wedding certificate is not a contract of indentured servitude.  Nor is it a blank check allowing the other party to break his own marital vows with impunity.
  7. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Just_A_Guy in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    Somewhat, but maybe not as drastically as one might think.  I think a little more extensive pre-wedding vetting, would make it a much safer bet for young LDS women to commit to starting families earlier, even at the expense of their own educational/professional development.  I mean, I don't think honeymoon babies are a divine mandate; but there's something to be said for having a lot of kids, and having them all grown while you are still in your forties or early fifties.  And while the popular statistic is that 50% of marriages end in divorce, I think that with proper vetting you could close that likely failure rate to 15% or less--at which point, if one is otherwise committed to self-directed learning and not overly enraptured of the prestige that accompanies a college degree, three years of tuition might look like a steep price to pay for a contingency plan.
    A very valid point.    A good forensic accountant, working with a PI, can ferret a lot of that out; but it costs money to build a case like that. 
    For what it's worth, though; my experience is that divorce doesn't magically turn honest guys into dishonest ones.  With the nastiest divorce cases I've handled--there were signals of grave character defects on display even before the wedding; but the parties were too twitterpated to care.
  8. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to omegaseamaster75 in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    This is why discussions about parental roles, ambitions, etc  have to be had before you ever put a ring on it. You also need a back up plan. IMHO our wives should be educated to the same level that we are. If they sacrifice for us while we are in school we should sacrifice for them when we finish. Think about it, what if you, the bread winner gets sick? gets injured? becomes impaired in some way? Loses your job? our spouses who should not only be treated as equals but should be equal in every way need to be prepared for the worst. We have failed as spouses if they are unprepared for the real world. Even if your wife has not worked for 10 years because she was busy raising your kids until you got sick and couldn't work anymore she has that degree to fall back on. She won't have to clean house or work fast food to help out she can have a real job making real money until you are back on your feet.
  9. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to omegaseamaster75 in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    The real problem is in the culture people jump the gun and get married after knowing each other for 3 months all while living in a fake environment (school) that does not relate to real life.  If you marry a history major cool know that things are going to be a little tight because your spouse will be qualified to be a teacher, you want to marry a Dr. or a Lawyer (no guarantees on the lawyer being successful) find a guy who is in his last year of school, not just starting the drop out rate is high
    For the OP 30k? you can make that working fast food....If I was the husband I'd go to my school and ask for a refund on that useless degree. 
    For the wife she needs to get her head straight about the decisions and commitments she has made to her husband and God.  
  10. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Just_A_Guy in What advice would you give someone considering divorce over income?   
    IMHO, unless some other expectation was set prior to marriage, LDS women do have a right to expect that their husbands will be able to earn enough that the wife can be a SAHM if she so chooses.  I agree with @yjacket that a man who isn't doing this--or at least, actively moving towards this as a goal--isn't doing right by his family.  A man who is already willfully shirking his responsibilities before the children even start coming, is putting his wife in the terrible position of having to choose between her husband and her future children; and I'm not prepared to say that the woman who (via divorce) chooses the latter over the former is wrong in every instance.
    On the other hand--financial setbacks are part of life; and if the husband's own best efforts aren't enough to pull the family out of the ditch, then the wife can't just harrumph about how money is entirely his responsibility if she has spent the marriage chafing at the notion of "women's work" and insisting that he do fifty percent (and no less!!!) of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, child care, and other tasks that traditionally were traditionally associated with homemaking.  Marriage is all about compromise, give and take, and working together for the family's greater good.  Otherwise, just as men who want the status and perks of a "breadwinner" need to actually win the bread; women who want the status and perks that go with being a homemaker need to actually make the home.
  11. Like
    mrmarklin got a reaction from summer in feeling inadequate   
    I used to at times. But being in business has taught me that one can only do so much. An apple is eaten one bite at a time. 
    One cannot do everything or be all things to all people. 
  12. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Makasae in Not wanting kids, Feeling bummed out   
    woah, didn't expect this many replies, don't really know how to reply to all of you guys at once but I guess I will just list up some clarifications.
    I am Male
    I know life is full of curve balls and tough times, I know that marriage has work but also good times, I guess I better explain my future wishes, I imagine a life where my wife and I return from work, do our duties (chores, etc) make dinner while conversing, and just chill out and play a game or something. I know its not all peachy perfect as that but I think you get the general idea.
    I should explain how i live my life, currently in college working on my career, I don't go out much since I love gaming, I love my animals and dream of taking care of many someday. I don't go out spending money willy nilly and I don't party or anything like that, in fact im pretty financially responsible. I also have worked most of my life for what I want so I know life isn't all about leisure, im ready to do honest work for what i want.
    last but not least i feel this should be shared, I have a low form of autism (PDD) and anxiety. I have them under control for the most part and to be honest I dont want to risk having a kid with these disorders, because I suffered a ton with them and I dont wish it on my worst enemy.
    hope that helps you guys understand!
  13. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Makasae in Not wanting kids, Feeling bummed out   
    sorry seems i made a misunderstanding, do not worry i do not drag along girls, I let them know my thoughts right away and they appreciate it greatly.
  14. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Jane_Doe in Not wanting kids, Feeling bummed out   
    There are ~15 million Mormons out there.  I'm sure one of them thinks the same as you.  Just be honest with other people (don't waste both of your time with a facade) and honest with yourself (what you feel now, and if it changes).
  15. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Vort in The Lord's Time   
    How appropriate.
  16. Like
    mrmarklin got a reaction from SilentOne in Coffee and Tea?   
    It was just a dream...........
  17. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Rhoades in Coffee and Tea?   
    Good point that the word of wisdom is technically doctrine.
    Also, I think it is valuable to know at least at a high level the difference between policy and the eternal principles they are based on so one is not too surprised when policies change. 
  18. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to omegaseamaster75 in Coffee and Tea?   
  19. Like
    mrmarklin got a reaction from Maureen in Great fiction books   
    Shogun by James Clavell. The definitive novel of Japan.  Once you're into it it's impossible to put down  
    All Clavell's novels are superb.
    Mystery?  Nero Wolfe series by Rex Stout.  Agatha Christies' Poirot series also a winner.
    Science Fiction?  Honor Harrington series by David Weber. I can also recommend Miles Vorkosigan series by Lois M Bujold. Actually both these authors are a cut above.
    Vampires?  The best author IMHO is P N Elrod. Vampire Files series.
    Romance?  Almost anything by Georgette Heyer. She is without peer in this genre.  Oh yeah, Jane Austen too.
    Someone has already mentioned the Dresden files and Harry Potter for wizardry!
  20. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to LeSellers in For the Ladies, Who would you marry?   
    I'm obviously not a sister, and won't pollute your poll results. But I am curious as to why "Neither" is not an option. Life does not force the hypothetical sister into marrying either of these brothers or none at all.
    We had a topic a few months ago and the question was whether a brother should marry a sister "with a past". I don't recall responding, but the problem is real, and I think that there is too much cost in choosing someone with that much or kind of baggage, especially when there are Saints who don't come burdened like this. It's for the children, literally.
  21. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to Traveler in Will polygamy be re-instituted after plagues of the last days wipe out a lot of the earth's population?   
    If one begins with an uncertain inaccurate premise there is no possibility for a certain and accurate conclusion – even if for a time the conclusion seems a plausible explanation for things seeming to be or interpreted to be.
    The Traveler
  22. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to NeuroTypical in Does Asian Privilege Exist?   
    Privilege is a wonderful thing.  You should get as much as you can, for your betterment and the betterment of your spouse, children, neighborhood, and community.  
    Want special advantages from God?  Enter into the Abrahamic covenant.  Be adopted into the family especially favored above all others by God.  It may not be popular to say or think about these days, but it is as valid a part of the gospel as it ever was.
    The zero-sum-game thinking that if you are winning, someone must be losing, is a lie of satan, and one of the reasons our country is going to hell.  
  23. Like
    mrmarklin got a reaction from NeedleinA in Why do people leave the Church?   
    ....The real question is not so much why do Mormons leave the Church, but why after leaving, they can't leave it alone.
    There are a lot of antis and ex Mormons out there that continue to post on LDS fora.
    I have no desire to post on the fora of other religions.
  24. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to LeSellers in What is doctrine?   
    Is this good enough?

  25. Like
    mrmarklin reacted to anatess2 in Faith promoting stories: having children but money is tight   
    My husband and I were ready for kids when we got married.  We agreed that we will settle our religious differences before the baby is born.  5 years later, we still couldn't get pregnant.  I was starting to worry that something is wrong with me.  Then I got baptized.  3 months later I was pregnant.  A year after baptism my husband and I got sealed.  3 weeks after that the baby was born under covenant.  I don't believe this is a coincidence.  At all.