Suzie

Linda, why is this happening you wonder? Well, there are so many possibilities. From normal teenage rebellion to medical condition such as Opposition Defiant Disorder (ODD) or Conduct Disorder (CD) (you could make a search in google about these condition in teenagers and see if he meets any of the symptoms). Unfortunately, kids every day are going through many medical conditions without being diagnosed. Of course, it could be that he is just being a rebel...however it is better safe than sorry. My suggestion would be professional counseling. I know possibly most people will say to talk to the Bishop and even though I think is a great idea so he can support the family spiritually at this time, I believe your son needs psychological intervention individually and the whole family as well. I believe individually, your son could be assessed for whatever condition he may have or give insight to what is happening to him and why he is behaving the way he does. As family, therapy can help you guys understand what is happening and deal with it in appropriate ways. Sometimes when a child is in this type of situation they tend to open up to a stranger (psychologist). Make an appointment with a psychologist for him and see what you can find out about his behavior and the best way you can help your son. Best wishes, Suzie

In my opinion, the Church teaches the general rule and of course then is up to us to see if we are the exception or not and act accordingly. It's easy for us to speak about it in a country like the US, what about South America, Africa and so many other (very poor) areas in the world where there is really little choice but to have a second income? It doesn't have to be one OR the other. Also I think many people forget this part of the proclamation: The responsibility is of both! So we BOTH help each other in our responsibilities. So yes, each one has particular roles HOWEVER does not mean they are exclusive and the other partner does not get involved, as the statement said BOTH are OBLIGATED to help one another in these responsibilities.

It is simple. Garments may not be sexy but since in those special moments with your spouse what you are wearing is actually your birthday suit it doesn't really matter.

Well, the "rule" I believe is just for missionaries and Temple workers. On occasion, a Stake President may ask someone to shave to receive a certain calling but that's totally at their local level, his own preference and of course not an official church policy. If we think about it, members in good standing with long hair, multiple earrings, beards and even tattoos all over can still go to the temple and make sacred covenants, the HOUSE OF THE LORD!. Of course, I am not condoning these things however I want to point out how silly the issue is based on this.

For me, the best quote EVER of Hugh Nibley:

Hmmmm so is he implying that before men who had a beard or long hair were not able to attend the temple? (I am not referring as temple workers but just regular members attending a session). Personally I think the long hair issue is silly. It's almost pharisaic to an extent when discussed by some members (Pharisees were always so overly concerned on appearance that missed the bigger issues). I say to the OP, follow Jesus Christ's example, the only perfect man who ever lived on this Earth. Personally, I do not have to look at another man/woman to decide what I should dress or what hair style I should have. Do we really need to be guided in ALL things? Particularly in petty issues such as this? So do not worry about what others may think, worry about your heart, actions and intentions. :) "Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? " My two cents.

Wingnut, thanks for that link! I just bookmarked it, I think is great!

I heard penguins are sensitive creatures maybe this penguin is not? Maybe he has double insulation than most penguins have? Is he an emperor or a fairy penguin? See? Many things to be considered. Suzie may be opinionated but not kamikaze.

If I answer that, I will be assassinated by him through email. I suppose the Fifth Amendment works through the internet too, no?

No, it does not have to be either. Personally I like to hear more about preparing for the things I mentioned, just my personal preference for the things I believe are treasures. One of my sons, many years ago after hearing a talk in sacrament that told of a story of a young man "who did great and became a Bishop" said to me: "Mommy, I want to be a Bishop when I grow up!" I asked why? And he said "So I can carry a suitcase, talk in sacrament and everybody calls me Bishop and know who I am like Bishop X". I did (like in my reply) said to him "Son, what about being an amazing father and husband?" to which he replied "Yeah, THAT too". That's what I am talking about.

Yes, exactly. Some of those callings are very challenging. Moksha is a "he"? All this time I thought he was a "she" (before he kills me, he did not say anything that made him sound like a woman eh )

I do not agree with the definition, however I think (as discussed) in this thread, are those callings of leadership such as Bishop, Stake President, etc. Notice that no one ever mentions nursery teacher as a "prestigious" calling hence I think in a lot of cases, people just like the title and the status that it SEEMS to come with it. I believe we should be aware of pride that comes in many forms and many times without realizing it.

When people tell me this I always say, what about preparing to be the best human being you can be, the best mother, the best wife, the best husband, the best father....For me, if we are really focus on these things, then it doesn't really matter what church callings we may or not may have.

Oh Oh too late. Well, I hope you put some more in the future. :)

Wow. It seems to me that this marriage have MORE issues than simply "fighting constantly". The coldness of the husband's behavior is shocking and the willingness of the wife to stick with her husband after he throw her out in a cold night, sleeping in a car is even more crazy. Sorry but in this particular situation there seems to be some abuse related issues that may or may not be helped through counseling. However, it seems to me that the husband in question clearly made his mind and does not care about anything at this point. Why to even force him to do so? If I was in this same situation, I would be filing for divorce.

That's exactly what I was trying to say here and in the other thread. It's a matter of intention. :)

Well, I don't think the word pretentious is the correct term. However, it is a a little troublesome to ME that members would be concerned over the kind of callings they may or may not have in the future. Why? Because I never heard someone thinking about it in the same way as Primary Teacher or even Church pianist. It is usually in callings such as Bishop or Stake President. It would be concerning if the issue is one of social/church status and self-aggrandizement rather than just another calling we need to be prepared for.

Tell me about it. I had my issues here at first, It was hard for me to understand how some people are just overly sensitive if someone disagrees or challenges their views, however we need to understand we are dealing with PEOPLE, that's how we are (different personalities) so is all good as long as we are respectful of each other. I keep giving my opinions, welcome a good debate and challenge those views that I see are just an OPINION disguised as Church doctrine (very common here). There is absolutely nothing wrong in asking for sources or asking someone to state it is their personal view rather than state it like it's the "pure and unchangeable truth".

For me is all a matter of intention. Do we aspire the calling because we truly desire to serve those who need it, our intentions are pure and noble, because we love them and because we believe we can make a difference in the lives of our brothers or sisters? (in which case we do not really need a calling to do so but depending on the calling we could make a difference into a bigger group of people) OR Do we aspire them to be "seen of men" ("Oh yes, I am the wife of the Bishop", "I am the RS President", etc and linking certain callings to being more worthy, spiritual or even a higher status of some sort) As the BOM says, I am referring to those who "preach and set themselves up for a light unto the world, that they may get gain and praise of the world; but they seek not the Welfare of Zion". So I will say, it depends.

Hi Panda, I think you should talk to your Bishop and wife because personally I think you may have some issues that need to be addressed and treated. Just as someone who has a problem with drinking and swears "this is going to be my last drink", we know it does not often happens. There are some issues in your life, no doubt about it. Why? Well, most people just do not start a conversation with a friend and turns "sexual". That's a big red flag. So I think there are some issues you did not share in your opening messages, probably pornography? Whatever it is, there are some thoughts you have been entertaining for a long time that have made you reached the exact position you are right now. Those thoughts are coming from somewhere. Of course, that's not the root of the whole problem but being honest with yourself and your spouse can help you heal during the whole process. I wish you all the best. Suzie

Well remember VT is a calling that you are expected to fulfill as soon as you join RS (you are not set apart, etc). Also, keep in mind that certain unexpected situations come into people's lives. Someone may say yes and in few weeks things could drastically change. In my case, I ensured to let my RS President know what I was able to handle at that time so I did not waste the time of anyone.

I read it in the newspapers, unfortunately the articles are no longer available. However, I recall that when the Church was approached about it, they did not deny it.

I believe there are many factors. From lack of interest, to special circumstances. I know because I was a very active VT until Heavenly Father has given some real, life-long challenges to my family that prevented me to do it the way I used to (I still do but before I used to go out of my way for the families I visited, unfortunately no longer I can do it). I am pretty sure, a lot of people assumed for a while I did not want to do it, lack of commitment or probably I was lazy. I know because I used to think like that about others until my world suddenly came to a change. So even though I know there ARE sisters who may not be interested, there are others with genuine problems that few people know about, so personally I would suggest to find out the reason behind her apparent lack of commitment. Every home is a world in itself. I also think when we (as a church) start worrying less about the "numbers" and more about the "souls and hearts" of those we visit, we may be able to be more successful in getting the sisters out there visiting.

Correct. This is not unique to her though, there are also other LDS entertainers in similar situations.

One of the issues I have concerning illegal immigration and the Church is leadership. We have Bishops and even Stake Presidents who are illegal immigrants who have the authority to interview others on matters of worthiness, including honesty.