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  1. Like
    carlimac reacted to MrShorty in BYU to allow same-sex dancing at annual competition   
    @mordorbund In my own "ignorant of anything to do with professional dance" way, I agree that this appears to represent a significant shift in the art and style of ballroom dance. Are we discussing the importance of preserving traditional ballroom dance and decrying changes to those traditions, and calling for BYU to be a beacon for traditional ballroom dance, or something else? If it's just about sticking to tradition and not letting sports/arts change, then it seems analogous to the volleyball purists who wish we were still doing traditional side-out scoring. Or basketball purists who decry the existence of the 3 point shot. Or those music purists (many from eras long past) decrying to creation of jazz or rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or [enter your most hated musical style]. Do we think it is BYU's place to be police and arbiter of what is part of traditional ballroom dance? It seems to me that, if BYU ought to stick to its standards on this, it ought to be for a more substantial reason than, "this change to the art of ballroom dance is forever going to ruin the art of ballroom dance and we refuse to go along with it."
  2. Like
    carlimac got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    Well she finally talked to him. He was "nice and normal" to her as she put it. She says she's glad I encouraged her to talk to him- break the ice, shrink the elephant in the room. That may be the end of it. But at least it would be closure for her rather than him just fading away and always wondering what happened to him. The ball is squarely in his court if anything more is going to happen. I can pray my guts out, and even if it's a relationship the Lord would approve of, the guy still has his agency. It's not  up to me to get inspiration on who she should end up with. but I can and do get inspiration on how to urge my children forward. Some need a little urging. Others not!!
  3. Love
    carlimac got a reaction from Traveler in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    Well she finally talked to him. He was "nice and normal" to her as she put it. She says she's glad I encouraged her to talk to him- break the ice, shrink the elephant in the room. That may be the end of it. But at least it would be closure for her rather than him just fading away and always wondering what happened to him. The ball is squarely in his court if anything more is going to happen. I can pray my guts out, and even if it's a relationship the Lord would approve of, the guy still has his agency. It's not  up to me to get inspiration on who she should end up with. but I can and do get inspiration on how to urge my children forward. Some need a little urging. Others not!!
  4. Like
    carlimac reacted to mordorbund in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    Just for @zil I'll bring out my old signature.
  5. Like
    carlimac reacted to CV75 in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    I think it is more important to act in faith (and in good faith) than to expect to act by inspiration or impressions. The Lord will stand behind our interpretations and even our misinterpretations in that He will not let us get too far off track. So I think using hindsight to second-guess our impressions in a way that discourages us from acting in faith is not helpful. I don't think it matters whether we act upon a spiritual prompting or a well-considered, good-faith desire; the aim is to remain close to the Lord.
    I do think it is important to follow promptings, whether from the Lord or our good faith desires--what else can we possibly do, than to do nothing and not learn?
    I seem to recall a number of articles on this subject in last year's Ensign magazines (young adult digital-only).
  6. Like
    carlimac reacted to Traveler in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    I am one that dated a lot but managed to screw up most social stuff I was involved with - with the one exception of marriage.  One thing I have learned about revelation - the easier it is to receive a revelation - the more difficult it will be to live up to it.
    I would make a suggestion about your daughter.  I have some apartments in Provo that I rent to mostly BYU male college students.  I have one very impressive student (guy) that is completing his PHD in electrical engineering this year.  He is an RM, an athletic (cyclist)  and I have known him as a tenant for a few years (you learn a lot about a person when you rent a living space to them).  He is leaving BYU without his MRS.  He is a typical engineer - which is problematic for many young ladies that like guys good at putting on a romantic show.  If your inspired daughter is smart enough to get along with an engineering mind - this guy has offers that would allow living in very upscale places just about any where in the USA.
    The Traveler
  7. Like
    carlimac got a reaction from Maureen in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    I appreciate this. I really do. But it’s mentally exhausting. I would think if the Lord wanted us to know or do something it wouldn’t be so murky, requiring mental gymnastics and contortions to have it make sense. 
    There have been times in my life when I have had clear impressions. Small things like how to comfort a hurting child or testifying of God to a doubting son. Clear, precise.  I guess  when we have to work so hard to justify something or cram a puzzle piece in where it doesn’t fit, it wasn’t a true prompting. 
    I do believe in coincidences and chance happenings. Even after praying for that thing, it isn’t always from God. 
  8. Like
    carlimac reacted to Colirio in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    Shortly after my mission, I dated a young lady who was pretty amazing. When I prayed, I felt that she would be a great eternal spouse for me. This was exciting! 
    However, I then felt to pray further and ask if I would be a great eternal spouse for her. The answer was, “No.” I would not have been the person she would need. 
    This was a turning point for me in my spiritual progression in realizing that sometimes I wasn’t asking the right questions. 
    I have since found that there is often further insight to be gained in most anything God reveals. Just like Lehi’s dream, it was actually Nephi’s further questioning that gave us the insights we have come to rely on. 
  9. Like
    carlimac reacted to Just_A_Guy in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    So, this happened to me just this morning, actually.  I got called to be ward Sunday School president and have been considering who to recommend to fill out the presidency.  I spent all week mulling it over with one particular person in mind, and then yesterday the second and third just fell into place and it seemed to all make sense.  I texted the bishop about it this morning and was told that the one person I’d been thinking about all week—who I was more sure about than either of the other two, and who had been on the list of potential names that my bishop had given me—is now unavailable.  (Stinkin’ elders’ quorum!) 
    I don’t know what to make of it.  I am still convinced it could have been a great presidency and that this particular brother would have been a big part of that.  But . . . meh, I guess.  God knows more than I do.  Maybe I misinterpreted, or maybe there will be a future time when I need to know what could have been.  Frankly, I’ve  got too much else on my plate to really dwell on it.
    I wonder sometimes, if much of the angst of my youth was really just a byproduct of me not having enough to do.
  10. Like
    carlimac reacted to Jane_Doe in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    When I was in middle school, there was this boy that had a HUGE crush on my gal friend.  He hung out with us all the time, they flirted, etc.  I truly believed that they were PERFECT for each other.  But, he was nervous and It took him until Junior year of HS to muster the courage to formally ask her out.  And she turned him down!!  He was devastated.  But still, he felt so strongly for her.  Freshman year of college, he asked her out again, and she said yes!!!
    I was so excited!!!!  When I heard the news, I literally danced in my kitchen for an hour-- finally she had realized it, and the were so wonderful for each other!!!
    22 days later she dumped him.  And not nicely either.  There was no coming back from this.
    ...why was she like this?  Didn't she understand how they were so great for each other?
    A few years later, I'm hanging out with this male friend more-- cause we were still friends after all.  And he asked me out!!  What the?!?  I sobbed.  Literally.  The water works, snot running down my face, "What about Sally?  She's was meant for you."  Really confused, he responded, "No... yeah, I liked her for a long time, and that's part of my past.  But it's just the past.  I want to be with you."  
    Fast forward: we have been blissfully married for seven years.
    God... is all knowing.  We really don't appreciate the grandness of what He sees, the way His marvels work.  And just because the marvel didn't turn out the way *we* thought it would, don't make the grand design any less.  
  11. Haha
    carlimac reacted to zil in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    Maybe stop thinking of it as a "tactic" and instead as a natural hormonal response which doesn't need solving or defending against?  IMO, tears (assuming they're real) in a woman (and probably a male) are generally a release valve for overwhelming emotion.  We all have multiple such release valves, and tears are a more common one in females, but that's exactly what they are.  They aren't something to be stopped or a problem to be solved - they are, in fact, the solution to the problem (the problem being excess emotion which needs release, relief, or expression).  So just let her cry.  Maybe give her some Kleenex® brand facial tissue.
  12. Like
    carlimac got a reaction from Vort in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    Since we've been instructed to focus on personal revelation and how it comes to us I've been wondering a lot about what is revelation and if some of it is fabricated to fit our situation, to save face.
    Here's an example: I have a daughter in college who I love and admire so very much! She is awesome!! Beautiful, kind, smart, loving sibling, RM, artistic and musical talents, loves to do active things like hike, play soccer, ice skate, in great shape, etc. Dream girl in my opinion. But she's also quiet and not terribly outgoing. She was having a dating dry spell about 9-10 months ago and  she said she felt spiritually impressed to go on Mutual (dating app), which she did. She got lots of match ups and went on sometimes 2-3 dates a week for awhile. She had fun but nothing earth shaking happened- usually just one-and-done dates kind of thing. Then she matched up with Mr. Mutual as I call him. She fell hard for him. She ended up going out with him a few times and then the semester ended and he went home. About that time she says she prayed and felt  like she should get off Mutual now. That it's purpose was fulfilled. She was smitten. We thought "he's the one".  She kind of arranged her summer to be around when he was around rather than spend the whole summer at home. They went out again. And then he completely "ghosted" her. Like, went Poof! She was very hurt. She texted him and he never replied. 
    So now she feels like the reason she felt impressed to do Mutual at all was not to meet him, but just to get out of her dating rut. Which helped- she did get out of it. But now she's back in a dreary dry spell again. So was she really feeling the spirit when she opened a Mutual account? Or was she doing like we sometimes do when we see spiritual promptings as one thing but it doesn't pan out like we thought it would. So we unconciously make up another reason why we were "impressed" to do or think or say something?  Was it really a spiritual prompting at all or just a desire?
    She's a very good, spiritually in -tune person. So I'm not trying to question her integrity at all. I'm just wondering if we Church members tend to put more stock in "impressions" than we should. 
    There is more to the story but I'll leave it there for now. 
  13. Like
    carlimac reacted to Anddenex in Revelation- How does it REALLY work?   
    I personally don't think we put enough in our impressions such that many good ones are ignored because we create confusion by saying, "Was that from God, or just myself"? Then we don't act.
    Not every impression is meant to lead to a garden of Eden.
    Something I just noticed in the Book of Mormon, Lehi's vision, is that the messenger from God who bade him to follow him first lead him through a dark and dreary waste, which lead to even further darkness, by which Lehi prayed for mercy and then obtained mercy. Something to think about.
  14. Like
    carlimac reacted to estradling75 in The Glory of Men is the Woman   
    Because God's patriarchy.. aka the true definition of patriarchy is constrained by the limits given in D&C 121 about unrighteous dominion.  Done correctly it blesses everyone and is the way God does things.  It however is really hard to do correctly... making most who claim to be following patriarchy incorrect and imposters to the name and title.  Such imposters need to be corrected/shutdown. Sadly most of the world only really knows of the imposters 
  15. Like
    carlimac reacted to anatess2 in The Glory of Men is the Woman   
    Really?  That’s what the movement is doing?  Could’ve fooled me.
  16. Haha
    carlimac reacted to mordorbund in The Glory of Men is the Woman   
    ........I'm not sure that's true.

  17. Like
    carlimac reacted to Vort in Revelation that separates spouses   
    Based on what you write above, your husband doesn't sound...well...well. Something is wrong. Maybe it's spiritual, maybe it's emotional, maybe it's cranial. I think @anatess2's advice is as good as any yet given on this thread.
    Go talk to your bishop.
  18. Like
    carlimac reacted to Vort in Revelation that separates spouses   
    Your husband can say and feel what he chooses to say and feel. You have the right to discuss things of importance with your bishop, and you have the right to discuss your concerns with your Relief Society president. If he wishes to talk to his bishop or quorum president, he's welcome to do so.
    In general, I'm a huge fan of husband and wife keeping their problems and dirty laundry very strictly within their own bedroom. I think such problems should rarely if ever be shared among family and friends, and since women are more likely to do this than men, this injunction applies more often to women. But in a case such as this, outside perspective is needed.
    You're a grown-up. Your husband can make his desires known, but he can't stop you from talking with your bishop or Relief Society president (or anyone else, for that matter). If what you say is true (and I expect it is), your husband is traveling down a very dangerous slope at high speed, and his actions will result in great pain and probable tragedy for himself, you, and your children. I'd say you're fully justified in talking to a leader and getting some help.
    I would suggest you contact someone else today. Like, pick up the phone right now and call your bishop. Maybe he can see you this evening. That's my advice.
  19. Like
    carlimac reacted to Jane_Doe in My son returned home from his mission, but he hasn't been himself. Have you had this situation ?   
    That is not normal.
    Feeling out of sorts is normal-- you did just move continents after all.  But not practically shunning your family and being THAT isolated.   In fact, most missionaries are required to write their families weekly.    Honestly, I would suspect a mental health issue.  
    Have you asked your son what's going on?  Does he have any future plans?  
  20. Like
    carlimac reacted to Grunt in Primary Activities   
    7-11 😁
  21. Like
    carlimac reacted to JohnsonJones in Early Morning Seminary Pros and Cons   
    I'll give a differing opinion here.  Early Morning Seminary was probably the worst choice I ever made.  I also did extensive after school activities and was up till very late at night.  The result of getting up so early stunted my growth (physically), and hurt my grades in several ways. 
    If I had been allowed to do Seminary at home on my own time, for example on Weekends, I would have gotten more sleep, done better in school, and still graduated from Seminary.  Furthermore, as I actually had time on Weekends, I would have actually gotten something out of Seminary (as it was, I was normally half asleep at Seminary, and really didn't get anything beneficial from it, other than ending up passing out during my first and second period classes in high school, which didn't do much good for me academically).
    I still got to BYU (now BYU-Utah), but if I could change something, I would want to have my parents not just ask, but beg, that I be allowed to do a home study program or something similar.  I don't think being in Seminary helped get into BYU, but the fact that I went to state in sports, was highly involved in other extracurricular activities, and then went on a Mission.  I don't think Seminary helped with my own spiritual growth as most of the time I was too tired to even know what they were talking about, much less get anything from it.  I got more from actually reading a manual, learning scripture mastery, and reading the scriptures themselves, all of which are part of the home seminary program.
    I'm not advocating dumping Seminary, but I would advocate presenting your case to your Bishop and asking for an allowance to be able to have the home study program (with parental enforcement if necessary).  Even if you are on the home study program, you can STILL attend early morning seminary if you wish, the difference being, you are not enrolled there and still need to do your work.  However, if you enjoy the lectures and spirit, when you are not up as late at night, or when the sports seasons end, it means that you can attend but not have the pressure of having to attend.
    PS:  I still suggest doing and attending Seminary, but I can completely understand that 4-5 hours of sleep at night is actually more detrimental than helpful in many instances, especially for growing children and youth.  Being able to pay better attention to the material (in Seminary) in my opinion is more important than simply going to attend Seminary but not being able to pay as good attention in Seminary or at school.
  22. Like
    carlimac reacted to rchorse in Releasing from callings, "those who need to know"?   
    Handbook 2 Section 19.1.1 (bold mine):
    The Primary President should absolutely be notified in advance that someone in the primary will be released.
  23. Like
    carlimac reacted to Vort in Releasing from callings, "those who need to know"?   
    The Primary president needs to know when someone under her purview is being released or called. I have no citation for this beyond obvious common sense, nor do I believe any other citation is needed. This seems about as duh as it gets.
  24. Like
    carlimac reacted to e-eye in Releasing from callings, "those who need to know"?   
    The primary president should know, and should be counseled with about replacements if the Bishop does it right. 
  25. Like
    carlimac reacted to Jane_Doe in Releasing from callings, "those who need to know"?   
    This is a "use your judgement situation".
    I would say that is is a good / polite thing to let the Primary President know that she's going to be short helpers one teams that she's worked so hard to build/maintain.  Kids also bond with their teachers.  Its BEYOND frustrating to work so hard building those teams only to have them yanked out suddenly as if you and your program don't matter.