classylady

Haven’t made plans for summer yet. But, in April my husband and I are taking our 14 year old granddaughter to London so she can visit her best friend. We will actually be in the Ipswich area for about two weeks. I’m really looking forward to this trip.

Fast offerings.  Absolutely.  Want to help that family that lost their home and needs to stay in a hotel for 6 weeks?  Fast offerings.  New mom is staying with grandma and her 6 month old lost all her clothes?  Fast offerings.  Folks were doing fine and paying bills, but both dad and mom's employers burned down, and they've had to take 1.5 jobs each making less than they were, and they're about to lose their car that gets them to work?  Fast offerings.  People have an immediate need, and are still 6 months away from their insurance check?  Fast offerings.
People will be migrating to new areas of the country looking for work because of this.  Many will not have saved up 6 months of emergency funds, which is a good average for such things.  As a finance clerk, I've had the honor of helping the bishop help new move-ins to our ward - they lost their job somewhere else, got a new job here, and just need a little help until the paychecks start kicking in.  Fast offerings will cover mortgage, car payment, utilities, medication, medical bills, storage units, etc.   This is what I do as finance clerk, and we're about to have to do a whole bunch more of it because of these fires. 
There aren't any overhead costs.  My bishop isn't being paid to distribute these funds, neither am I.  Neither is the guy who will be by in a few months to audit me, to make sure I've allocated the Lord's funds appropriately.  
No really - we spend a lot of time thinking about which charity is the best - I gotta say:
 
 

As a kid, I lived about 32 miles south west of Paradise. I remember Paradise as a pretty little town. This breaks my heart. Butte County is my old stomping grounds, where I was born, went to Elementary School, etc. It is very emotional for me to watch all the footage of the fire. I pray the fire will soon be out. Luckily, any family I have in northern Calif. all live in the Sacramento area.

A couple of guidelines that have served me well:
1. Ask open questions. In other words, be ready listen to actual answers, and do not assume to already know what the answers will be.
2. Believe that the Holy Spirit convicts and converts. Let Him. Members are believing the same thing, of course. So, post truth in love and sincerity, and with openness. As an example, I have been allowed to share Assemblies of God perspectives here--even on matters like speaking in tongues. Why? Because, I've tried to engage sincerely and honestly, and then some posters were truly curious about my take on matters. With over 90% here being lurkers, we never know who gets blessed by our words. We'll never get to post them though, if we are abrupt, or if we fail to let Holy Spirit do his work.

Losing my father to death at an early age (I was 6 years old) sort of warped me. I won’t say I was warped in a bad way, but I experienced profound grief at such a critical age that it changed me. As a teenager, I felt old for my age. I couldn’t bring myself to do some of the things that my peers did. I knew I wasn’t invincible/immortal like many teens think. I knew I could die today or tomorrow. And, I knew that if I wanted to see and or be with my father again I needed to obey the commandments. At a young age I made up my mind that I wanted to “go to heaven.” At a young age I had faith in God and I learned later to have faith in Jesus Christ.
According to Zil, (I think) my desire to “go to heaven” would be an Epic goal. I call it a commitment. And there are a lot of steps to reach that specific commitment. I have called those steps short term goals. Always, in the back of my mind, I have known what my end desire is. It is to obtain the highest degree of glory. I want that more than anything! I want to be with my loved ones whe have passed on before me. I miss my father. I miss my daughter. I miss my grandparents and my mother. What bothers me, is that I still fall short of some of my short term goals. I’m grateful for repentance. Because without repentance there wouldn’t be any hope for me. I truly wish I was like those in the Book of Mormon, when they were converted had no more desire to do evil, but to do good continually. 
Also, I want to add, that in my mind, a commitment is something you don’t give up on. It’s something that you don’t fall short on. A commitment is something that you will achieve.

There’s a lot one could pick apart and/or respond to; but what struck me most was the simple and fearless honesty of the account.  Thank you.  

Ouch.  Wow.  It is a worthy goal to interact with all the different notions presented in this article, and figure out where you definitively stand on each one.  I figure it would be a rare thing to find two people on this forum who end up seeing eye to eye on everything.
One of our baptismal covenants is to bear one another's burdens that they might be light.  I've found that sharing harsh stuff like this will sometimes result in additional people burdened, but nothing is really lightened for the one telling the tale.  I often hold back some more horrible things I know about the evils we humans do to each other or ourselves, for that reason.  But I wonder if folks are better for society when they're sober, burdened, and sadder-but-wiser.  I don't know.  I try to err on the side of under-sharing.

Good grief, Sunday.  Come to Utah.  If money is tight, I'll set up a bed in the spare bedroom for you - you can have it and the guest bathroom all to yourself.  I'll take you to the bowling alley down the road from where I work - you'll see that bowling alleys can be clean, well-lit, and family friendly.  (I have both my own ball and shoes, but don't go often enough to be any good - it's just fun.)  Then we'll drive up the road to a shooting range and you can shoot my pistols and stop being so terrified of inanimate objects.  We'll take a photo of you and the target you shot up, and send it to your bishop.
I'll send you home with a fountain pen and some ink - not enough to worry the airplane people.
Then when you get home, you can carry copies of the Book of Mormon around with you, to give to those men with broad shoulders and strong chins.  Once one of them decides to join the Church, you can date him, and then get sealed in the temple.  (It would be a shame to let those broad shoulders and that strong chin go to waste!)

UPDATE: I just got baptized on October 14, an hour before Sacrament meeting. Was confirmed during Sacrament. And am going to ask the new Bishop (as there had been a leadership change where the prior Bishop was elevated to Stake President during the Stake Conference presided by Elder Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve September 23) to schedule an interview for the Priesthood. Also, in looking about to see where and how I might fit in (if God wills) I had put interest into working in the Materials Center.
 
My Baptismal Program

I went to Hobby Lobby....saw Pam...felt guilty....now I'm back checking on the forums.

Read this article and thought of this thread: https://relevantmagazine.com/life5/you-never-marry-the-right-person/?fbclid=IwAR3ZnGVt34JE3OmhaxhKHhpC4kJFq-7IP4NyIZUrUHtUbWOCVmGi9jHrcr0

Marriage can be hard, even when you are married to one you are “in love with”. That infatuation stage of love will only last for about two months to about two years. After that it should shift into the attachment stage. Some people crave that “rush” of the infatuation stage and will go from partner to partner looking for that rush and then move on when it’s over. If this is you, you need to do some deep thinking and introspection. Some therapy may be needed. That type of love won’t last in a marriage, and isn’t feasible. If you never had that feeling for your wife, all is not lost. You can develop the feeling of deep attachment, which is what most long last lasting marriages have. 
If you leave your current wife, what do you think will happen? If you remarry, you and your new wife will always have to deal with your ex. It is not easy to constantly have to coordinate schedules between two households. There is very little privacy and the new wife may dislike that.  If your current wife gets custody you will have child support payments to make which may put a financial strain on your new marriage. This is often a source of contention of remarriages. Then there is the step-parent issue. I can’t remember if you have a son or daughter. If you have a daughter the step-mother/step-daughter relationship can be very difficult. There is almost always loyalty issues. Many remarriages fail because of the step-parent/step-child issues. The new wife often feels like a second-class citizen because her husband doesn’t know how to set appropriate boundaries between himself and his ex, and doesn’t enforce respect between his children and the new wife.
I married a divorced man with children. I have done a lot of reading on the subject. We have been married over 37 years. If I had to do it over again, I would not have married a divorced man. It has been brutal! We love each other. But, love does not take away the issues in a remarriage. And, remarriages have more issues and baggage than a first marriage. It’s a fact of life. If you can make your first marriage work, do all that you can to salvage it. Divorce is not worth it! [Disclaimer: other than for abuse, adultery, or addiction]

First of all @Aspiring Nurse, I commend you for recognizning a problem and trying to seek out advice on the matter, rather than just acting impulsively. You have some very important building blocks to a healthy relationship already. You, yourself say that your wife is a loyal and dedicated wife and mother, and that she was willing to ignore your past, and see the better person you have become. Do you know how many men would give anything to have a wife with the traits you described? You have found a special woman, a choice you confirmed through the Holy Ghost, don't forget her amazing qualities. I also see that she has faults. No woman you will ever find will be faultless. They may be different faults than your wife's, but she will still do things that annoy, bother, and frustrate you just as you would do to her. Finally, and most importantly, you swore an oath in a holy temple of God, before God, that you would be her husband forever. I want you to imagine getting to the other side, looking God in the face, and telling him "Well I broke my eternal covenant with you and her because I just wasn't feeling that spark." It won't work brother. Take divorce off the table. You made an eternal choice, and honestly it sounds like a good eternal choice☺. Remember all of your wife's wonderful qualties and take to heart the words of president Monson 
"Choose a companion carefully and prayerfully; and when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another. Priceless advice comes from a small framed plaque I once saw in the home of an uncle and aunt. It read, “Choose your love; love your choice.” There is great wisdom in those few words. Commitment in marriage is absolutely essential"
God bless you in your trial brother. Keep praying, and know we are all praying for you!

Marriage can be hard, even when you are married to one you are “in love with”. That infatuation stage of love will only last for about two months to about two years. After that it should shift into the attachment stage. Some people crave that “rush” of the infatuation stage and will go from partner to partner looking for that rush and then move on when it’s over. If this is you, you need to do some deep thinking and introspection. Some therapy may be needed. That type of love won’t last in a marriage, and isn’t feasible. If you never had that feeling for your wife, all is not lost. You can develop the feeling of deep attachment, which is what most long last lasting marriages have. 
If you leave your current wife, what do you think will happen? If you remarry, you and your new wife will always have to deal with your ex. It is not easy to constantly have to coordinate schedules between two households. There is very little privacy and the new wife may dislike that.  If your current wife gets custody you will have child support payments to make which may put a financial strain on your new marriage. This is often a source of contention of remarriages. Then there is the step-parent issue. I can’t remember if you have a son or daughter. If you have a daughter the step-mother/step-daughter relationship can be very difficult. There is almost always loyalty issues. Many remarriages fail because of the step-parent/step-child issues. The new wife often feels like a second-class citizen because her husband doesn’t know how to set appropriate boundaries between himself and his ex, and doesn’t enforce respect between his children and the new wife.
I married a divorced man with children. I have done a lot of reading on the subject. We have been married over 37 years. If I had to do it over again, I would not have married a divorced man. It has been brutal! We love each other. But, love does not take away the issues in a remarriage. And, remarriages have more issues and baggage than a first marriage. It’s a fact of life. If you can make your first marriage work, do all that you can to salvage it. Divorce is not worth it! [Disclaimer: other than for abuse, adultery, or addiction]

I have often heard others say “Church is so boring. It’s the same lessons, time after time.” And, I think to myself I need those same lessons time after time. I need to be reminded of the importance of obeying the commandments. If I’m not reminded it would be so easy for me to start with: it won’t hurt if I shop on Sundays; tithing is so hard, I’m going to skip this month because I need Christmas money; a little flirtation with my co-worker won’t hurt; I’m going on a Sunday drive in the mountains instead of attending church, I can feel the Spirit that way; telling off-color jokes isn’t so bad; etc. The list can go on and on. There are so many ways the Spirit can leave us. I personally need to be reminded to choose to do right. I need to hear the message of being more Christlike. It isn’t a waste of time to be preaching to the choir. I’m in the choir and I need the preaching. Maybe, it’s because I’m just like the Israelites, who need the constant preaching and call to repentance. It would be so easy for me to slip and stop following the commandments. I hope it doesn’t sound like I think I’m perfect. I have so many weaknesses I need to improve on. That’s again why I need to be preached to. 

I have often heard others say “Church is so boring. It’s the same lessons, time after time.” And, I think to myself I need those same lessons time after time. I need to be reminded of the importance of obeying the commandments. If I’m not reminded it would be so easy for me to start with: it won’t hurt if I shop on Sundays; tithing is so hard, I’m going to skip this month because I need Christmas money; a little flirtation with my co-worker won’t hurt; I’m going on a Sunday drive in the mountains instead of attending church, I can feel the Spirit that way; telling off-color jokes isn’t so bad; etc. The list can go on and on. There are so many ways the Spirit can leave us. I personally need to be reminded to choose to do right. I need to hear the message of being more Christlike. It isn’t a waste of time to be preaching to the choir. I’m in the choir and I need the preaching. Maybe, it’s because I’m just like the Israelites, who need the constant preaching and call to repentance. It would be so easy for me to slip and stop following the commandments. I hope it doesn’t sound like I think I’m perfect. I have so many weaknesses I need to improve on. That’s again why I need to be preached to. 

I have often heard others say “Church is so boring. It’s the same lessons, time after time.” And, I think to myself I need those same lessons time after time. I need to be reminded of the importance of obeying the commandments. If I’m not reminded it would be so easy for me to start with: it won’t hurt if I shop on Sundays; tithing is so hard, I’m going to skip this month because I need Christmas money; a little flirtation with my co-worker won’t hurt; I’m going on a Sunday drive in the mountains instead of attending church, I can feel the Spirit that way; telling off-color jokes isn’t so bad; etc. The list can go on and on. There are so many ways the Spirit can leave us. I personally need to be reminded to choose to do right. I need to hear the message of being more Christlike. It isn’t a waste of time to be preaching to the choir. I’m in the choir and I need the preaching. Maybe, it’s because I’m just like the Israelites, who need the constant preaching and call to repentance. It would be so easy for me to slip and stop following the commandments. I hope it doesn’t sound like I think I’m perfect. I have so many weaknesses I need to improve on. That’s again why I need to be preached to. 

Here we are. We can help supplement your Church family.
Your church family may morph over time, but a church family and church involvement can still be found.
I've moved about 30 times in my life, each ward being different. Change happens.
Change can be hard... we adapt to it because we "love Christ" and this is his Church.
Did Pres. Nelson make the changes because "he" wanted to OR was he and the Quorum of the 12 moved upon that the Savior is guiding "his" Church in this direction.
Are you upset at Pres. Nelson OR are you upset he is following the Saviors guidance?

My daughter’s in-laws flew in from Korea last week. They all did a whirlwind tour of Utah’s five National Parks this past week. Mrs. In-law’s favorite was Bryce. She also liked the State Park Dead Horse Point. Mr. In-law’s favorite was Arches and Canyonlands. They were at our house for dinner last night on their way back to my daughter’s and son-in-law’s home. They told us Utah is  “the treasure of the United States”. They loved the beautiful scenery and spectacular sunsets.
I have lived in Utah since I was eleven years old. I visited Zion Nat’l Park almost on a yearly basis. Bryce, I’ve been to many times, but not as often as Zion. Capital Reef only a couple of times. Same with Arches. I had never been to Canyonlands until two years ago. It’s spectacular. I wish I had pushed to see it sooner. I will return, and this time either during the spring or autumn. We were there in August. I almost passed out due to the heat.

Your above statement, “We have literally lived more than twice as long without plural marriage in the Church than we have with.” started me thinking about my family history. One of my maternal great grandmothers married her husband in 1888. She was the second wife. I was three years old in 1958 when she passed away. The first wife passed away that same year. My great grandfather had passed away prior to me being born. What this means is that some polygamist marriages, those performed before the Manifesto, were still functioning within my lifetime. I find this fascinating! It really is close to home. My grandparents have always spoken highly of their childhood and growing up with so many siblings.
This particular great grandmother was also a child from a polygamist household. Her mother was the third wife. My great grandmother had this to say in her journal: “I am grateful for polygamy, which gave me such fine brothers and sisters... I am grateful that as a heritage it seemed easy for me to accept and live happily in polygamy as one of my Father’s numerous posterity. And I leave my testimony as to its power in developing Christian ideals of unselfishness and it’s marvelous experiencing of love and deep consideration of the feelings of others, which we must all learn if we are to gain the Eternal Salvation.”
She further had this to say about her husband and his first wife: “l met xxxx in 1887.  I thought him one of the finest, best-natured men who had ever come into my life. ...he wrote mother asking her consent for him to court me. ...we corresponded... My appreciation for him as a man of real worth, as the prospective father of the family I wanted to have grew. ... it was a period of secret and very difficult courtship for me. Polygamists were being hunted down and imprisoned daily, but it mattered little to those who believed in, and honored this sacred principle as had been taught us to do. 
Mrs. xxxx “(always called Polly) was very nice to me. Said she’d rather he’d marry me than any girl she knew — ‘though she didn’t see why he need choose one so pretty.’ “ Mr. xxxx “gave me every opportunity to really become acquainted with her, since I insisted this should be the basis upon which my consent to marry should rest. Every experience at that time served to convince me of the sincerity of purpose of this noble woman. It must have been a real trial in those and earlier days in our church for the women in Mormondom to share their husbands, thus making possible the marriage of many girls who otherwise might never have known the joys of motherhood with such fine men as Bro. Xxxx type to be fathers to large families. My tribute to “Aunt Polly”, as we always called her, is one of true sincerity. She has always been wonderful to me throughout our long acquaintance and companionship”...
This is what Mrs. Xxxx (first wife) had to say: “At this peak of our prosperity my husband was prompted to take a second wife. It seemed a noble thing for him to do, especially when it was almost certain to result in a term in the State prison. ... I am sure that my convictions in the soundness of the principle would have enabled me to suppress every urge to jealousy...”.      One of our family stories is where Mrs. Xxxx made a beautiful dress for my great grandmother to wear during their courtship.
I have many family histories where the practice of polygamy was noble and inspired. I’m very grateful for the rich heritage I have and I’m proud of this heritage.

Loved both Beethoven’s Fifth and In the Hall of the Mountain King’s line drawings! Very clever.
I’ve been working on Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King” for the piano this past year. It’s always been one of my favorite classical pieces. I’ve gotten discouraged trying to perfect it. No matter how many times I practice it, I can’t seem to get the song 100 percent. Of course, not being able to bring myself to play the piano for about fifteen years has greatly diminished my capabilities. I’m still trying to get my skills back. When I could emotionally bring myself to start playing again, nearly fifteen years after my daughter’s death, I am now playing one to three hours a day. It has become my therapist.

I've been to the Hill Cumorah Pageant a few times, but no others.  The newsroom statement is too vague for any of us to guess accurately at why it was made.  However, I expect this is key:
I imagine every pageant or similar event will be evaluated to determine how well or poorly it does at this.  Perhaps also to determine whether this is its primary purpose.  Based on the results of the evaluation, the pageant / event will either be cut, changed, or continued as-is.
I could be all wrong, but this is the best conclusion I can draw from what the newsroom release said.

Your above statement, “We have literally lived more than twice as long without plural marriage in the Church than we have with.” started me thinking about my family history. One of my maternal great grandmothers married her husband in 1888. She was the second wife. I was three years old in 1958 when she passed away. The first wife passed away that same year. My great grandfather had passed away prior to me being born. What this means is that some polygamist marriages, those performed before the Manifesto, were still functioning within my lifetime. I find this fascinating! It really is close to home. My grandparents have always spoken highly of their childhood and growing up with so many siblings.
This particular great grandmother was also a child from a polygamist household. Her mother was the third wife. My great grandmother had this to say in her journal: “I am grateful for polygamy, which gave me such fine brothers and sisters... I am grateful that as a heritage it seemed easy for me to accept and live happily in polygamy as one of my Father’s numerous posterity. And I leave my testimony as to its power in developing Christian ideals of unselfishness and it’s marvelous experiencing of love and deep consideration of the feelings of others, which we must all learn if we are to gain the Eternal Salvation.”
She further had this to say about her husband and his first wife: “l met xxxx in 1887.  I thought him one of the finest, best-natured men who had ever come into my life. ...he wrote mother asking her consent for him to court me. ...we corresponded... My appreciation for him as a man of real worth, as the prospective father of the family I wanted to have grew. ... it was a period of secret and very difficult courtship for me. Polygamists were being hunted down and imprisoned daily, but it mattered little to those who believed in, and honored this sacred principle as had been taught us to do. 
Mrs. xxxx “(always called Polly) was very nice to me. Said she’d rather he’d marry me than any girl she knew — ‘though she didn’t see why he need choose one so pretty.’ “ Mr. xxxx “gave me every opportunity to really become acquainted with her, since I insisted this should be the basis upon which my consent to marry should rest. Every experience at that time served to convince me of the sincerity of purpose of this noble woman. It must have been a real trial in those and earlier days in our church for the women in Mormondom to share their husbands, thus making possible the marriage of many girls who otherwise might never have known the joys of motherhood with such fine men as Bro. Xxxx type to be fathers to large families. My tribute to “Aunt Polly”, as we always called her, is one of true sincerity. She has always been wonderful to me throughout our long acquaintance and companionship”...
This is what Mrs. Xxxx (first wife) had to say: “At this peak of our prosperity my husband was prompted to take a second wife. It seemed a noble thing for him to do, especially when it was almost certain to result in a term in the State prison. ... I am sure that my convictions in the soundness of the principle would have enabled me to suppress every urge to jealousy...”.      One of our family stories is where Mrs. Xxxx made a beautiful dress for my great grandmother to wear during their courtship.
I have many family histories where the practice of polygamy was noble and inspired. I’m very grateful for the rich heritage I have and I’m proud of this heritage.

@Grunt, when will you be in Utah? If you want someone to show you around my husband and I would be happy to do so.  You can message me. My husband will be happy to talk to another Ham Radio Operator. He just passed his General last month. Now he’s studying for his Extra Class. He was so close to passing the Extra Class. He took it after his General test without studying for it and missed it by only a few questions.

Grunt, IIRC Fort Douglas up on the U of U campus has a small military museum you may find interesting; and Hill AFB used to have an aviation museum as well.  
At Temple Square, don’t forget the Church History Museum (cross the street west of temple square)—that could easily eat up two or three hours for a first visit. The Church History library (across the street north of temple square) also usually rotates through a couple of goodies from Church archives on display in the reading room.  A few blocks away, the Catholic Cathederal of the Madeleine is also lovely. This Is The Place Monument also has a functioning pioneer village.  If you’re interested in the Donner Party at all, you can go up Emigration Canyon just a mile or two and see the remains of Donner Hill, a near-vertical rise that the pioneers hauled their wagons up with chains because they were too exhausted to keep chopping their way through the thick underbrush at the bottom of the canyon.  
Another oddity is the remnants of the town of Thistle up Spanish Fork Canyon, which was evacuated in 1983 after a landslide created a natural dam that turned the Spanish Fork River into a reservoir that flooded the town.  It was never rebuilt after engineers drained the lake, and you can still see the ruins of some of the buildings.
Also, if you go west of Lehi about 20 miles you’ll come to the town of Fairview, which is the site of Camp Floyd (where Johnson’s Army established itself).  There’s a military cemetery there where a few dozen camp members were buried over the years, and Fairview has a little museum that’s open a couple of days a week.  
Logan Canyon is also, IMHO, one of the prettiest drives in Utah; but probably somewhat off of your path.