All_Apologies

God has a plan. It is the Plan of Happiness. When we live contrary to His plan, we do not have happiness. Maybe we will have moments where we feel amazing, but, eventually, we see that wickedness never was happiness. Brother, I have also cheated. I've been married for 17 years and for the past few years have struggled with another man. It's been over 8 months since we've been together, and I'm still working at repenting. Some things I've learned that may help you: Maybe it's hard to see right now, but lust, by definition, cannot be satisfied. Right now, things may seem like rainbows and unicorns. But if you married this woman you are involved with, real life happens, eventually. Problems happen. Nevertheless, others who have cheated and who have decided to be with their affair partners have made it work, although the statistics are against such a relationship working. (I read somewhere that 75% of these marriages end in divorce). Just a tip: eventually, the lust with this person, were you to marry her, would go away. And married sex, sex without lust, is not the same as sex without lust. Sex + lust is dangerous and like a drug. This is what I've learned in SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) and in real life. Work The 12 Steps! These steps are good for anyone. Maybe attend an SA or SLAA meeting. Maybe even an LDS ARP meeting. Here you will find God. I am for real. You will find him and, if you Really work the program, you will be able to find His will for you and you will find the strength to carry it out. When we learn to submit our will to His will, We can find our True Connection. We can find True Happiness and even peace. Brother, my marriage was miserable for me for a looooooong time. I sought escape from the feelings of misery by running to another man's arms. But, I realized living this way was not God's way of life, so I began attending SA meetings to help me to stop this behavior that I could not stop on my own (I tried everything to stop, but I just made things worse). Through working the program, I learned how to let God in to help me. And you know what? My marriage, with me and my husband working on things, is now wonderful. My husband is turning out to be the man of my dreams. I never would have thought. But it is happening for me. So this is possible, just so you know, for your marriage to turn around and be something beautiful. Sometimes, we stop tending our own gardens, thinking if we tend another garden, it will be more wonderful. Now, I tend my own garden. I really feel for you. Marriage can be so hard. Affairs can be so heart-wrenching even for those in the affairs. Hang in there, Brother. I have faith in you that you will figure things out. <3 Step 3 prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Been there. Just take it one day at a time. Sometimes, 5 minutes at a time. This, too, will pass. All things do. Waiting for a missionary is so difficult. When mine got home, we went on one date and it sucked Really bad...neither of us were the same as before and we never went out again. But it does work out for some people.

Benedictine, You are Not to blame. Yeah, she was abused. But plenty of people who have been abused don't cheat on their spouses. Have you heard of Karla Faye Tucker? She murdered a bunch of people and in prison became converted to Christ. Some people said that she should not have to suffer the death penalty because of this, and because she suffered a rough childhood. But Ms. Tucker had a good point. She pointed out that her sister had the same childhood that she did and she never murdered anyone. Basically, your wife's problem is herself. She has an attitude problem. I know this because I have the same attitude problem. I was molested by my brother. Not sure if this is the reason, but I now get to overcome a sexual addiction. And, I've cheated on my husband. My little sister was molested by her uncle. She has never cheated on her husband. Have you ever thought of attending the church's addiction recovery program? This program is also helpful for family members of those who suffer from addiction. Also, the twelve steps are helpful for Everyone. Everyone. Maybe you could check it out. It could help you heal, regardless of whether or not you stay with your wife. Prayers sent up for you.

Mustaches? Wow! Now that is a cool birthday party idea :) Maybe I can use that theme for my little boy's party. :) w00t!

"I don't believe this is a normal LDS married woman's behavior but, I'm not a woman. " This is not normal LDS married woman behavior. Danger! Danger! Danger! "Is there some "womanly" reason an LDS woman would do this?" No. Absolutely not. "Should I be alarmed?" YES!!!!!!! "What does this indicate?" She is probably up to something she shouldn't be up to. "How should I proceed?" Pay close attention to what's going on. Hey, I know this is a danger sign about the underwear because I am an LDS woman and when I didn't wear my G's, it was because I planned on cheating on my husband. I am for real. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt, and DON'T wanna do it gain. It is my biggest regret. Just watch out. This is a huge red flag. Prayers sent up for you.

Getting self control is great, but when a person is really addicted, it's going to take more than that. Sometimes, no amount of Self control works. But, where we are powerless to overcome our addictions, God Can and Will when He is sought. Attending an addiction recovery program like SA or the LDS ARP will help you figure out how to let God in to expel the compulsion to act out.

Hey, you're not the only girl who has a masturbation issue. I've done that also. Used to do that a Lot. Don't know for a fact, but I bet a Lot of women have told their bishops about problems with this issue. And, maybe your bishop has needed to talk to a bishop about having masturbated. Talking to your bishop about this is not as bad as you may think. Hang in there :)

brianhess226-- Guess who wants you to feel discouraged, like there is no hope? The adversary. And guess what...he hates you and wants you to be miserable. Life is difficult. We all make mistakes. But so does the pianist who is learning to play the piano. And how do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Plus, with a criminal background, you can still start your own business. Or, maybe you could be a truck driver or something (I've known others who have done this). You have options. There is hope for you. And if you seek God, He can help you. I know, because he has helped me, and I am a woman who has made many, many, many mistakes in her life.

Magicmormon-- Regardless of what happens in your marriage, all is not lost. You can make a beautiful life for yourself. There is hope. Keep attending your 12-step meetings. Working the steps is The Solution. Do you have a sponsor? If you choose to go to Sexaholics Anonymous, you can find a sponsor there. A sponsor is such a helpful resource. Maybe you couldn't stop on your own. Neither could I. With my sexual addiction, my methods of acting out are a little bit different from yours, and actually worse. But I have been working the steps...working the program. And, I am Finally sober. So, miracles DO happen. Our Savior, the One who healed the sick, raised the dead, caused the lame to walk and the blind to receive their sight, He can heal us. This miracle can happen for you. I've seen it happen in my life and in the lives of others. Not sure about how it has been for you, but for me, so many times I asked God to take this addiction from me. He never did because He allowed me to choose for myself what I wanted to do. But through the 12 steps, I've learned how to let God into my life so that I can let go and let God in so that He can help me. And He can and will help us when He is truly sought. I have faith in you--that you can turn your life around. Maybe you're not where you'd like to be or where you feel you should be in your life. You can get there. You are a son of God and He NEVER gives up on you.

Dude, the problem had nothing to do with sex, the problem is with lust. Sex and lust are two things that, when put together, are not healthy. How do I know? I am a sex addict. But it is not sex that I am powerless over. It is lust. Have you ever attended a 12 step meeting? If not, maybe it would be a good thing to look into. Seriously, you can find a happier and more peaceful way of life.

Saw the movie. Didn't like it. I found the emphasis on suspending the Constitution rather unnerving, especially since this is happening today since we now have the NDAA and the "Patriot" Act.

As a child, I was molested by my brother. It was so devastating and I was so angry. But the Atonement can heal us from everything. Everything. He suffered for our sins and our sorrows. He knows. He has been there. How can we let the Atonement heal us? For me, I've found healing in service. I heard that service to others can heal us, and I've found it to work. Service helps us to become reconciled with God. At-one-ment. It helps us let Him into our hearts. We are His hands and feet upon the earth. When we were baptized, we covenanted to take upon us His name and to do the things He did. For me, I feel this means doing what I read in Mosiah 4:26--I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.

Wow. That sounds REALLY hard. It hurts to think about. Sending up a prayer for you.

This sounds like a hard problem. I am so sorry this is happening. Prayers sent up for you.

Maybe it's best not to just let it go. That gut instinct--it's usually right. Sexual things can be very addictive. I betcha he's still seeing escorts. Prayers sent up for you. Hang in there.

Porn causes a lot of problems. I attend a sexual addiction recovery group and I know quite a few people who cannot enjoy sex with their spouse because they are into porn. Sometimes, they even have erectile dysfunction because of it. It also appears to make people preoccupied with sex, where they are unable to consider things that are more important. It also makes people feel like they are a walking lust ball. Some cannot even go out and get a job because all they want to do is masturbate. For real. These are observations from what I have seen/heard from other addicts. Not from my own experience. I have experienced similar symptoms from my own manifestation of sexual addiction. (My addiction: Couldn't stop committing adultery just using my own strength. I needed God's help to stop.)

I've been there, hmcd. My husband was also this way. Years later, with lots of patience, he came around. It took years. So, there is hope. Hang in there. Prayers sent up for you.

Yeah it's his cousin, but... Before I committed adultery, I had an emotional affair. (But, not with a cousin.) It sounds like maybe this "cousin" is not someone your husband can handle having a regular familial or even purely platonic relationship with. It sounds like sharing the gospel may be an excuse/justification he is using to be close to her. Just be careful. I hope everything works out okay. Prayers sent up for you. <3

I feel there are no good people in the sense that ALL fall short of the glory of God. But, I also feel that we can become good through the atonement of Christ when we repent.

I and my husband recently went to a conference for people like me who have either had affairs or had issues with acting out sexually. Spouses were also invited.Speaking in this conference were a husband and wife. The husband was the person with sexual issues, the wife didn't have these issues. The wife said she felt it was not a good idea for people to tell their spouses everything about their acting out because she said it felt like she was being dumped on. Once, I had an emotional affair. Recently, I had a physical affair. My husband knows about the affairs, but does not wish to know the details. To recover from these affairs, I've been attending a 12-step program. In this program, I have a sponsor to guide me through the steps. Regarding my affairs, I do tell the details to my bishop and my sponsor. Neither any of my bishops (there have been multiple ones) nor my sponsor have told me to tell my husband the details of my affairs. I haven't even told my husband how many times I had been with the man I was physical with. With my emotional affair, I told the bishop, and nothing else became of it discipline-wise. With my sexual affair, I am going to a disciplinary council. Prayers sent up for you. You CAN overcome this. I know, I've overcome before. And I'll overcome again. Apparently, affairs are something I and maybe you also need to always, always, Always be safeguarding against by drawing near unto God.

Maybe. I'll ask. The school told me it was required. Never thought to ask for a waiver...

Wow! This is a really excellent point. And I agree.

Maybe I'll look into ways of homeschooling... Yeah, it's just frustrating that it seems more and more time is taken up with noneducation. Plus, I read this book, and it really concerned me with what's going on in public education. The book is The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America by Charlotte Iserbyte. the deliberate dumbing down of america

Okay, so I'm sending my kids to public school every day and one of my children is in high school. He is required to take a class which isn't for credit and it covers a bunch of things like bully education and gay education. What about reading, writing and arithmetic? I'm sending my child to school to learn this kind of stuff? Some may argue that parents don't teach the children all they need to know. But I say that I don't want my children to start seeing the school system and the state as their family instead of their actual family as their family. And, I don't really like the fact that it appears my children are being indoctrinated in public school with what the establishment wants them to believe. I feel I need to help my children unlearn some of the things they are taught in school. Oh, I wish I could home school my children...But, thanks to the Rockefeller-funded women's "liberation" movement, I am now the primary breadwinner of my family and at this point I don't see a way for me to be able to Not work outside the home. Public school = Epic Fail Aaron Russo was a Hollywood music promoter and producer. He was friends with a Rockefeller. Check out what this Rockefeller said about Women's Lib....Rockefeller and the agenda behind Women's Lib:

Twort, I am also a cheater. I've no advice for you, but I'm sending up prayers for you. It's REALLY difficult and heartwrenching to be in this sort of situation. I'm so sorry you're going through this. :"(